I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thank you, thank you, thank you :D :D :D

[vatoloco]

Anyways, recieved text from her "Hi babes just got your voicemail thats a plan then one problem where is the place your on about lol x"

Okay, so she gets your voicemail but replies to it via text? Fvck that! She's obviously got a fvcking texting addiction. If I took the time to give someone a call, I expect the same kind of courtesy towards me.

I guess at this point it's up to you what you want to do with her but, if it were me, I'd just cancel and move on...

As a side note, back in my younger years I used to get really nervous about calling a girl up for a date (especially if she was an HB8+) so what I used to do is have a couple of tequila shots 30 mins prior to the call. Used to get me all relaxed!

I don't need the booze nowadays but it might be something for you to consider. Just don't turn into a fvcking alcoholic...

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

From here then its proberbly worth again not responding. The place is very easy to find anyway.

I think its proberbly best if I do go through with it just for my own good. You mean, I've not been on a proper date before. Usually its just meeting someone within the social circle out with people I know/

Not done it this way before.

 

[zekko]

Okay, so she gets your voicemail but replies to it via text? Fvck that! She's obviously got a fvcking texting addiction. If I took the time to give someone a call, I expect the same kind of courtesy towards me.

Meh. I don't see that as disrespect. She just prefers texting. There are a lot of different technological ways to communicate these days, that's just the way it is. I sure wouldn't cancel a date over it.

I don't agree with the negative view of texting a lot of guys have here. I know a guy who constantly reels in hot gorgeous women with texting. Personally, I hate telephones. I think they're the most annoying thing ever invented. Texting is cool because you can respond or not.

Bunny, you've been getting good advice so I won't add any. Lol though, you come to this forum and immediately snag an HB8. Some guys just need a minor tweak and away they go

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Silly question but we've arranged to meet at a relaxed coctail bar (fairly quiet away from the madness in town centre) then maybe move on to other places.

Is it ok to ask her to buy the odd round or is it just a case of seeing if she offers at some point?

Its not like I can't afford it, thats not the issue. I just don't like birds that expect everything to be paid for. I'm just not sure weather asking is a good idea and just to stay quiet and see if she offers.

It seems to be on though, I'm getting fed up with these texts (not sent anything to her since calling) but they've changed from the crap like "hows your day going" to "Can we meet at 9 instead of 9:30?"

 

[jonwon]

Silly question but we've arranged to meet at a relaxed coctail bar (fairly quiet away from the madness in town centre) then maybe move on to other places.

Is it ok to ask her to buy the odd round or is it just a case of seeing if she offers at some point?

Its not like I can't afford it, thats not the issue. I just don't like birds that expect everything to be paid for. I'm just not sure weather asking is a good idea and just to stay quiet and see if she offers.

It seems to be on though, I'm getting fed up with these texts (not sent anything to her since calling) but they've changed from the crap like "hows your day going" to "Can we meet at 9 instead of 9:30?"

Buy the first, ask her to buy the second, simply state "Your Round", what are you concerned about?

Think of it this way, if you was that guy who had a good few options would you be so hung up about this stuff? The means for a date is for her to prove herself to you, more than you to prove to her.

Go have fun, be in good spirits, enjoy yourself, make her talk about herself (women's biggest interest is themselves) - drink, have a good time - lead if possible, i.e lead her out of the doors, be infront when you leave bars, if you can, make the choices for were to go - dont be anal in the sense of getting into an argument about you wanting to choose a venue, but alternativly dont be a simpering wuss that is waiting for her to make all the moves.

Go in there with a smile, confident, life is a pleasure and stop worrying about the drinks buying lark. But I would advice you ensure she pays and contributes to the night, she would with her female friends and your not a free meal ticket after all.

Dont get anal if she doesn't at first stick her hand in her pocket, but at least be vocal, in the sense of saying "your round" like you expect no other outcome. If she pleads poverty, I'd suggest you keep the spending to a minimum usually when girls want you to pay exclusively, its a sign of low to moderate interest, if she has high interest she wont think twice about paying and thats the bottom line truth.

 

[masterpiece]

Alot of women these days who i have dated insist on paying there way so i wouldnt worry about it.
But if she doesnt offer do what jonwon said, you shouldnt have to pay for it all.

 

[vatoloco]

Meh. I don't see that as disrespect. She just prefers texting. There are a lot of different technological ways to communicate these days, that's just the way it is. I sure wouldn't cancel a date over it.

The reason I see it as disrespectful is because, in my eyes, she saw that I chose to verbally communicate with her and yet she didn't make the effort to try to talk to me in person.

I don't agree with the negative view of texting a lot of guys have here. I know a guy who constantly reels in hot gorgeous women with texting. Personally, I hate telephones. I think they're the most annoying thing ever invented. Texting is cool because you can respond or not.

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I hate phones too. I prefer to talk to women in person (that way I get a complete picture of the situation -- body language, voice tones/inflection/hesitation) but if I can't get that, the phone at least gives me audio clues. With texts I get nothing. I don't know if the chick's accepting a date with me just because she's bored, as opposed to hearing/seeing her all excited about it.

I think it's also a generational thing. I'm 35 (but look 27-28 I've been told) so sometimes I hit on/get hit on by girls in their early 20s and they all seem to be unable to live without texting on their phones. I personally try to nip it in the bud early on ("Sweetheart, I don't really do texts. I prefer to hear the sound of your sweet voice" -- you know, give them some BS excuse not to text). Some don't like it and drop me. Some like me enough and try to keep texting to a minimum.

But the main reason I dislike texts is that they give me a sense of "distance" from the girl. It doesn't make me stand out from the men she's interested in (especially is she's a HB8+) if she sees fit to text me just like all the other guys do with her. I like to be different. Who likes me more? A girl who sends me a text "hey whats up" or a girl who picks up the phone and says "OMG vatoloco! Why hadn't you called?"

The way I see it, the problem that Bunny now seems to have is that this chick's now used to communicating exclusively via texts. If it had been "nipped in the bud" earlier, he wouldn't be getting all this aggravation from her texts. To me it's not a good sign: "Can we meet at 9 instead of 9:30?" It's either a sh!t test to see how much you'll give in to her and whether she'll be able to control you later on OR she's planning to flake...

Just my $0.02...

 

[vatoloco]

Oh yeah, I forgot to address the paying thing.

Bunny, personally I wouldn't bring it up. Get the first round as normal (as in you pay for it) and when the time to pay for the second round comes, see what her reaction is. If she attempts to [at least partially] pay for it, then that tells you she might actually be a good one. If she just sits there looking pretty without attempting to help foot the bill, well, now you know what to expect in the future...

Again, this is just crazy me talking here...

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

To me it's not a good sign: "Can we meet at 9 instead of 9:30?" It's either a sh!t test to see how much you'll give in to her and whether she'll be able to control you later on OR she's planning to flake...

Just my $0.02...

Thanks for that I see your point, an extra 30mins isn't exacly much of a big thing as she makes it out to be.

 

[vatoloco]

Thanks for that I see your point, an extra 30mins isn't exacly much of a big thing as she makes it out to be.

Well, maybe she really does need to make it a 9:00 instead of 9:30. But maybe it's like I said

I guess it's up to you whether to accept or not. If you do, cool but just put it in the back of your mind. If you keep seeing her and she wants to change plans all the time, you might have a control freak on your hands...

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

She now also wants to meet at outside another place, but it is a common meeting place in the area and only around the corner, taking into account she doesn't know where the bar I arranged to meet at is I'll let her off.

Well called her again, and left a voicemail saying no probs for meeting outside the place she mentioned but half past would work out easier for me.

As predicted she has responded with a text.

It just said "ok then x". The text feels worryingly too short.

 

[Kailex]

If you show up at this new place and she has more people with her, do NOT hesitate to stay for 10 minutes and then leave, or even leave immediately if something doesn't feel right.

I like that you've taken the initiative to meet other women, but you'll be dealing with crap like this for a while.

I don't like that she KEEPS answering to your calls with text messages. Maybe ONE time, it's okay. But more than once... hmmm.

I will say this, have a PLAN B in mind.

This way, you won't feel like this is a waste of your time if it goes south.
See if your friends are going out tomorrow night and latch onto them if this doesn't pan out.

If you show up and it starts going south immediately, do not even think twice about walking away.

Stop worrying about whether to pay or not, just wait and see what happens. If she's there, alone, just have a good time.
If she's there with other people, ISOLATE. If not, LEAVE.

I get a bad feeling, but to be honest, I'd rather you see this through.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Silly question but we've arranged to meet at a relaxed coctail bar (fairly quiet away from the madness in town centre) then maybe move on to other places.

Is it ok to ask her to buy the odd round or is it just a case of seeing if she offers at some point?

Its not like I can't afford it, thats not the issue. I just don't like birds that expect everything to be paid for. I'm just not sure weather asking is a good idea and just to stay quiet and see if she offers.

It seems to be on though, I'm getting fed up with these texts (not sent anything to her since calling) but they've changed from the crap like "hows your day going" to "Can we meet at 9 instead of 9:30?"

With the drinks, I think asking her 'can you pay for this round?' wouldn't be terrible but still a bad move in that, if a guy asked me that I'd feel embarrassed that he felt he had to ask me......I think that you should say "Oh I'll get the first round, what would you like?" By saying that you're coming across as generous for offering but also subtley implying that it only applies for this round (and that you'll be there for more than one round )
But I think nowadays it's common courtesy to take turns in buying rounds. And I'd even go as far to say if a guy kept buying me drinks despite me saying otherwise, I'd assume it's purely to get me absolutely rat-arsed and into bed.

Tbh she's probably cottoned on that you're not texting her much back in comparison to her, so it's difficult to tell whether the less texting is because she's texting someone else, just imitating you or she's wanting to see if you make the effort to text her (as I gather she's the one initiating all the texting...which she probably isn't used to as much.)

 

[CaptainJ]

With the drinks, I think asking her 'can you pay for this round?' wouldn't be terrible but still a bad move in that, if a guy asked me that I'd feel embarrassed that he felt he had to ask me......I think that you should say "Oh I'll get the first round, what would you like?" By saying that you're coming across as generous for offering but also subtley implying that it only applies for this round (and that you'll be there for more than one round )
But I think nowadays it's common courtesy to take turns in buying rounds. And I'd even go as far to say if a guy kept buying me drinks despite me saying otherwise, I'd assume it's purely to get me absolutely rat-arsed and into bed.

This girl is on the money.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Okay I see that you just got out of a relationship and are trying to pull together some game and move on with this new chick. However, not trying to bring down the parade, its fairly obvious that your outcome dependent here and are stressing some what on this chick already, not a good sign.

Secondly I agree with Zekko, her responding with a text isn't all that much of a big deal as 99% of women now days and even guys for that matter prefer to communicate via text. However, I will say if she never returns a call with a call or calls you period, that is slightly weird and could be seen as low interest or rather not high interest.

Bottom line, just go have fun bro, don't over-analyze and DEFINITELY do not get $hit-faced, so you don't do something retarded.

Also definitely change venues throughout the night, for whatever reason when you change venues a couple times throughout a date it makes the girl feel like she's known you for a while or knows you better.

I've always found that the best dates I've gone on over the years were ones that started at one place (bar, event) and ended at a totally different place...





PIMP

 

[vatoloco]

She now also wants to meet at outside another place...

Okay so I went back to the OP and re-read it again and saw this gem in there:

Basically was sitting down at a table in the club, spotted HB within talking distance but she looked board with the converserion in her group. We started one on one fluff talk with a couple of nags, after 2-3 minutes I asked for her number, her answer was "what do you want that for?"

I'm sorry man, I've been giving you the wrong advice. This chick doesn't dig you. She's either gonna try to make you an orbiter OR flake on you.

Sorry my man.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Sorry guys, that short text is really bothering me. Guess we won't know what the deal is until tommorow, its like waiting for my exam results back in the day.

She said earlier this week shes at some street dancing class tonight (from my first attempt to make an arrangement) hopefully she was getting ready/going to that and replied in a hurry - I dunno.

CuriousGirl - Thanks thats perfect I'll have to let my freinds know about that one.

 

[teacha]

stop overthinking things, some girls just prefer to text all the time as opposed to calling for different reasons (maybe she's shy/nervous etc). dont get worked up over trivial stuff like that.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

This is going pear shaped.

Stupid text earlier today "Hi hun hows your day xx"

Then this "Is it just going to me and u tonight cos think there r some of ppl out that i no tonight "

Well its another attempt for calling when I finish work I guess, I know what word springs to mind if she texts some bull in response.

I've had an invite with a couple of freinds tonight for a night out in the same town.

I guess I could say to her yes it is just us two if she wants to be with her freinds thats cool, maybe another time.

Oh dear! Not good at all.

 

[Kailex]

I figured she was shifting to a night out with OTHER people included.

Make it perfectly clear that it's just you and her... come on man.
What's the worst that can happen, that she says she doesn't want it to be just the two of you?

Make your intention crystal clear. Don't get sucked into this "Okay, I'll join you with your friends tonight" BS.


You already have a Plan B, so as far as you are concerned, you are doing something ANYWAY tonight. And since this one seems to be with a bit of low IL, why not test her NOW instead of having to endure hanging out with her and her friends later on.

The way I see it, it seems like this one is no good anyway, so just man up and say: YES, just the two of us tonight.

And then see what happens next.