I know my kind is rare around these parts...

[dalynxx]

We tend to think it's more that they had the guts to approach rather than that they give compliments. But I'll accept your answer for what it is.

While I have your attention, could you elaborate a little more on this "attitude" you are talking about when you say you are attracted to guys with attitude? Maybe describe it as specifically as possible?

By the way, don't be dismayed at the guys who will attack you for coming here and offering your opinion. They will do that to any woman who comes here and tries to give advice. While I agree with them that it is better to learn to fish from a fisherman than a fish, I would still be interested in hearing your viewpoint.

Hello zekko!

I would like to think that women are a lot more complicated than deer and fish hence my "thief" analogy. Anyway, moving on to the question you asked,
attitude I mean, is what some may call charisma or a swagger. It is just a way that a man carries himself and speaks. Think of the way that Obama made the public fall in love with him (and I use that loosely in light of current events) etc. It is inner confidence and the ability to be yourself; not trying to be anyone but uniquely you and being happy with it.

High self-esteem is very attractive, wouldn't you agree? Hope I answered you and thanks for the advice.

you EXPECT the guy to pay, lest they offend you....? Next!

Hansol - please read my words properly. I said if he is asking me on a date I would expect him to pay just like if I had asked him out I would expect to pay. Again to the men on this site, reading is fundamental. Reading and comprehending is not really as difficult as some of you make it out to be.

 

[Proselytiser]

Hello and Welcome to the site, I have a list of 10 Questions that I want you to answer about DJism.

(1) Do girls care about what a guy looks like, many say looks don't matter at all, I think they do, but if you are a girl you'll know the answer.

(2) Many say girls don't care about money, again I think they do, you should know the answer to this.

(3) Tiger Woods - why are all of these hot babes attracted to him - is it to do with his (a) status (b) money (c) looks (d) his game and PUA skills are far better than everyone elses.

(4) Should guys smile at a girl.

(5) Eye Contact - how important is it to look a girl straight in the eye.

(6) If a girl is beautiful should a guy compliment her on her physical beauty.

(7) Is it good to shake a girls hand when you introduce yourself.

(8) How important is the pitch of a guys voice to a girl, I think deeper voice is better, you should know.

(9) Hot babes rarely date guys who are slow or slightly retarded, yet they are very friendly to them, more so than they are the hunk type of dude whom they want to date, WHY, guys are not like this in reverse.

(10) The Friends Zone - why do girls veiw some guys as freinds only, they obviously enjoy their company, your answer to this is of great interest to me.

I'd love you to give me your feedback on all 10 questions, thankyou.

Everyone has different preferences... one guy likes big tits, the next guy doesn't, one guy wants his girls curvy, the next skinny, one likes brunettes, the next blondes, etc, girls are no different in this.

 

[SharinganUser]

Hansol - please read my words properly. I said if he is asking me on a date I would expect him to pay just like if I had asked him out I would expect to pay. Again to the men on this site, reading is fundamental. Reading and comprehending is not really as difficult as some of you make it out to be.

And how often do women ask men out on dates? Not often, rarely in fact. I've met many women who complain about how nobody notices them, ect... yet they do nothing more than sit in a corner trying to make eye contact from across a room full of people. It's like when Flanders father was trying to discipline him as a child " You gotta help us doc. We've tried nothing and we're all outta ideas!"

Saying a man should pay when he asks the girl out and the girl pays when she does the asking is akin to saying "Sure, I'll drive next time, I just don't own a car."


Also, who says a thief is going to teach you how to think like a thief?

 

[Semtex]

OMG...ok here is a pic of me from behind on my twitter. I don't do face pix online I'm afraid....


http://twitter.com/ladylynxx

You guys are thirsty....

dalynxx is definitely a girl, she sent me unsolicited pms with videos of her 'booty clapping' with writing on her undies: "this booty is for u Semtex"

 

[zekko]

High self-esteem is very attractive, wouldn't you agree?

I get the impression I think differently about this than most guys. If you mean high self esteem in a man is attractive to WOMEN, yes I agree. They do seem to be attracted to an exaggerated level of confidence. Not sure where Obama fits into it, except he's a guy who's comfortable with himself and looks good on TV.

To me, confidence is when you feel relaxed and comfortable with yourself. When you talk about SWAGGER then you're talking about something a guy puts on, it's a front or an act to some extent, not true confidence. The truly confident guy will just relax and talk to people and not have to act like he is better than anyone else. Whereas a guy with SWAGGER will act like he is better than those around him - this behavior is just as likely to come from a place of insecurity as from security. It seems like a lot of women are more attracted to swagger than relaxed confidence. But I've seen it both ways.

Do I find high self esteem attractive in a woman? I think a woman should have a certain level of self esteem. They should not be insecure because that leads to all sorts of annoying behaviors. But beyond that certain point, I really don't care about a woman's self esteem. She should care enough to take care of herself obviously. But if her self esteem is TOO high, then my concern is she will be too self absorbed and put her own needs too far ahead of everyone else's. Picture the classic snooty popular high school girl stereotype. I even find it a little endearing if a girl gets a bit insecure now and then, as long as they are able to regain their balance after I give them some reassurance.

 

[mrRuckus]

No, you're not different.

Self esteem in a woman is only needed to the point where she's not annoying.

What's the advantage of having a woman with high self esteem? Men barely say it, but we really don't expect women to be good at things anyway, so what is high self esteem supposed to convey to us? When a man has high self esteem we assume he's a guy who knows how to get sh1t done and that he's not someone to mess with. We don't really think women can do all that much anyway, so when a woman has self esteem, I don't just automatically begin to believe she's competent at life anymore than I believe it when EVERY DAMN GIRL says she's "different than other girls and never cheats."

It is endearing if her self esteem isn't too high. It feels good and it's nice to feel protective of her when she's being innocent and is afraid of the big, bad world. It's just annoying when it's constantly.

Swagger in men is kinda silly too. Plenty of guys are confident, but for no real reason. The same deficit that leads one to be stupid, leads one to an inaccurate evaluation of one's abilities. Self confidence really isn't a reliable indicator of worthiness.


Anyway, this is another case of women trying to convince us that we're attracted to the same traits in women that they are in men. The other one i'm thinking of specifically is this "independent woman" filth. Read some online profiles on dating sites and so many girls want to highlight this as if it's some huuuuuuuuge selling point. It's not. It's a turn off.

 

[zekko]

No, you're not different.
Self esteem in a woman is only needed to the point where she's not annoying.

I do remember reading some threads here where guys have said that a woman with confidence is a big turn on, and that seemed to be the majority opinion. I'm with you though, I don't see what difference it makes, as long as she is secure enough that she isn't annoying. The main thing we want from women is that they're pretty, have pleasant personalities, and treat us with respect.

As for swagger, there's a thread on the "Don Juan Tips" board that may help explain why women are attracted to it. It's a thread on frame control and it talks about how women want you to take them into your world if it's a world of fun, romance, and excitement. Swagger is a sort of over the top, larger than life, type of confidence which may seem to promise this to them at first glance. The problem comes when there is no actual reality behind the swagger, and that's one reason why we all need self improvement.

I have seen enough examples of guys "bringing a women into his world" to know it's effective. Guys in rock bands are like this, the girl gets to hang out with them, almost like being part of the show. A guy might be part of a rock climbing community, and he can bring her into that to be part of something, take her to festivals, etc.

 

[dalynxx]

dalynxx is definitely a girl, she sent me unsolicited pms with videos of her 'booty clapping' with writing on her undies: "this booty is for u Semtex"

:trouble:

I get the impression I think differently about this than most guys. If you mean high self esteem in a man is attractive to WOMEN, yes I agree. They do seem to be attracted to an exaggerated level of confidence. Not sure where Obama fits into it, except he's a guy who's comfortable with himself and looks good on TV.

To me, confidence is when you feel relaxed and comfortable with yourself. When you talk about SWAGGER then you're talking about something a guy puts on, it's a front or an act to some extent, not true confidence. The truly confident guy will just relax and talk to people and not have to act like he is better than anyone else. Whereas a guy with SWAGGER will act like he is better than those around him - this behavior is just as likely to come from a place of insecurity as from security. It seems like a lot of women are more attracted to swagger than relaxed confidence. But I've seen it both ways.

Do I find high self esteem attractive in a woman? I think a woman should have a certain level of self esteem. They should not be insecure because that leads to all sorts of annoying behaviors. But beyond that certain point, I really don't care about a woman's self esteem. She should care enough to take care of herself obviously. But if her self esteem is TOO high, then my concern is she will be too self absorbed and put her own needs too far ahead of everyone else's. Picture the classic snooty popular high school girl stereotype. I even find it a little endearing if a girl gets a bit insecure now and then, as long as they are able to regain their balance after I give them some reassurance.

Hi Zekko

Re Obama reference, didn't you notice that a lot of women were attracted to him? The swagger I am talking about is the natural one. The kind that is not scripted (or at least does not look it) or awkard. It could even be the man's walk. So have it and some just don't. It is also I think, known as je ne sais quoi or a certain "something".

And about the rest of your post I can see why a woman with "high" self-esteem could be off putting. I suppose confidence with a shade of vunerability is more attractive to the menfolk.

No, you're not different.

Self esteem in a woman is only needed to the point where she's not annoying.

What's the advantage of having a woman with high self esteem? Men barely say it, but we really don't expect women to be good at things anyway, so what is high self esteem supposed to convey to us? When a man has high self esteem we assume he's a guy who knows how to get sh1t done and that he's not someone to mess with. We don't really think women can do all that much anyway, so when a woman has self esteem, I don't just automatically begin to believe she's competent at life anymore than I believe it when EVERY DAMN GIRL says she's "different than other girls and never cheats."

It is endearing if her self esteem isn't too high. It feels good and it's nice to feel protective of her when she's being innocent and is afraid of the big, bad world. It's just annoying when it's constantly.

Swagger in men is kinda silly too. Plenty of guys are confident, but for no real reason. The same deficit that leads one to be stupid, leads one to an inaccurate evaluation of one's abilities. Self confidence really isn't a reliable indicator of worthiness.

Anyway, this is another case of women trying to convince us that we're attracted to the same traits in women that they are in men. The other one i'm thinking of specifically is this "independent woman" filth. Read some online profiles on dating sites and so many girls want to highlight this as if it's some huuuuuuuuge selling point. It's not. It's a turn off.

Hi mrRuckus

I can see your point, but just wanted to make a point about the part I have bolded above. Yes, Plenty of guys are confident for no real reason, but I've seen some of these guys have no problem getting lots of hot looking chicks for exactly that. These guys are confident and don't give a damn what anyone thinks of them (at least it appears so) with not so much as a dime in the bank. Oh and these chicks would support them financially too (think of aspiring musicians etc that we all know probably will never make it anyway).

Re the self-esteem in women, well a lot of ladies are figuring out that the entire "independent woman" movement was a fraud. We all need support and companionship whether male or female. It is not about being independent, it is about being responsible for yourself and those you call family/loved ones (my personal opinion).
Just a thought....

As for swagger, there's a thread on the "Don Juan Tips" board that may help explain why women are attracted to it. It's a thread on frame control and it talks about how women want you to take them into your world if it's a world of fun, romance, and excitement. Swagger is a sort of over the top, larger than life, type of confidence which may seem to promise this to them at first glance. The problem comes when there is no actual reality behind the swagger, and that's one reason why we all need self improvement.

I have seen enough examples of guys "bringing a women into his world" to know it's effective. Guys in rock bands are like this, the girl gets to hang out with them, almost like being part of the show. A guy might be part of a rock climbing community, and he can bring her into that to be part of something, take her to festivals, etc.

Oh now I see what you guys mean. But I guess swagger with no substance is good for those guys that just want to get laid and not build relationships. It will probably go against them in the long term

 

[Swashbuckler]

dalynxx, I am curious about your book process. I am a writer as well. I've been published in numerous literary journals and poetry journals and have a full manuscript for a novel on my desktop of that I'm extremely proud.

I'm struggling to decide whether to go through the long tedious task of getting it published through a publisher or to go through something like what you have on lulu.com.

What do you think of Lulu.com? Are you making any money off of it?

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Hi mrRuckus

I can see your point, but just wanted to make a point about the part I have bolded above. Yes, Plenty of guys are confident for no real reason, but I've seen some of these guys have no problem getting lots of hot looking chicks for exactly that. These guys are confident and don't give a damn what anyone thinks of them (at least it appears so) with not so much as a dime in the bank. Oh and these chicks would support them financially too (think of aspiring musicians etc that we all know probably will never make it anyway).

Re the self-esteem in women, well a lot of ladies are figuring out that the entire "independent woman" movement was a fraud. We all need support and companionship whether male or female. It is not about being independent, it is about being responsible for yourself and those you call family/loved ones (my personal opinion).
Just a thought....

A dude who is confident for no reason will always lose his hot babe to a dude who is confident with a reason for being so.

 

[hansol]

Hansol - please read my words properly. I said if he is asking me on a date I would expect him to pay just like if I had asked him out I would expect to pay. Again to the men on this site, reading is fundamental. Reading and comprehending is not really as difficult as some of you make it out to be.

Oh I did read your words properly. I'm supposed to undulge your whims and wine and dine you, all for the "privelege" of having you accompany me for the evening? This is of course avoiding the fact that you could turn out to be the worst date I've ever had, a waste of my time that I will never be able to get back, and on top of that, I'm supposed to pay money to have a horrible time with you? Ummm, no.

I start paying once I'm in a LTR with the girl. I enjoy her company, she enjoys being out with me, I enjoy being able to provide for and spoil a chick that I LIKE providing for. I won't waste money "trialing" people however. That's a good way to find yourself broke and carrying a big sign on your back that says "Use me".

Looks like you're "next-ed" for a less self-centered broad. Sorry sweetheart. :moon:

 

[zekko]

Re Obama reference, didn't you notice that a lot of women were attracted to him? The swagger I am talking about is the natural one. The kind that is not scripted (or at least does not look it) or awkard. It could even be the man's walk. So have it and some just don't. It is also I think, known as je ne sais quoi or a certain "something".

Ah, the je ne sais quoi. Reason enough to put on the swagger, I suppose. It's all just part of the game, like bees doing a mating dance. Women want to be dominated, sexually at least. Swagger telegraphs to the female "I will lead you, and other men as well".

As far as Obama goes, well he's a smooth, powerful, good looking guy who's realatively young. Sort of like Kennedy or Clinton. Women are attacted to that, and in Obama's case he has a big celebrity factor as well.

The same deficit that leads one to be stupid, leads one to an inaccurate evaluation of one's abilities. Self confidence really isn't a reliable indicator of worthiness.

A good point. But a woman will be attracted to the self assured guy because if you come across as nervous, then you seem incapable and inexperienced. A woman wants the guy who can go out and kill the buffalo and bring it back to the table. A shaky nervous male is less likely to be that guy.

 

[dalynxx]

Oh I did read your words properly. I'm supposed to undulge your whims and wine and dine you, all for the "privelege" of having you accompany me for the evening? This is of course avoiding the fact that you could turn out to be the worst date I've ever had, a waste of my time that I will never be able to get back, and on top of that, I'm supposed to pay money to have a horrible time with you? Ummm, no.

I start paying once I'm in a LTR with the girl. I enjoy her company, she enjoys being out with me, I enjoy being able to provide for and spoil a chick that I LIKE providing for. I won't waste money "trialing" people however. That's a good way to find yourself broke and carrying a big sign on your back that says "Use me".

Looks like you're "next-ed" for a less self-centered broad. Sorry sweetheart. :moon:

No, I'm sorry for you. I'm not being self-centered at all, at the end of the day, I'm only talking about my experience. I think some of you on here must be major keyboard jockeys and don't actually live in the real world.

When it comes to dating, I did say that I was raised the old fashioned way and no man has ever asked me to pay for dinner when on a date or go dutch etc. I don't ask them to pay for me, they just do. If you wanna be salty about that then so be it.

Also why would you go on a number of dates with a woman if you were having as you put it "a horrible time"? I am however assuming that you're smart enough to know that when you ask someone on a date (i.e. the first date in particular), you are asking for the pleasure of their company so therefore you really should pay for the meal. If you're that tight fisted then don't ask the girl to dinner.

I am shocked that you talked about "money you won't get back". How vulgar. Any man that worries about such on a date with me shouldn't have bothered asking me out in the first place.

 

[dalynxx]

Ah, the je ne sais quoi. Reason enough to put on the swagger, I suppose. It's all just part of the game, like bees doing a mating dance. Women want to be dominated, sexually at least. Swagger telegraphs to the female "I will lead you, and other men as well".

As far as Obama goes, well he's a smooth, powerful, good looking guy who's realatively young. Sort of like Kennedy or Clinton. Women are attacted to that, and in Obama's case he has a big celebrity factor as well.


A good point. But a woman will be attracted to the self assured guy because if you come across as nervous, then you seem incapable and inexperienced. A woman wants the guy who can go out and kill the buffalo and bring it back to the table. A shaky nervous male is less likely to be that guy.[/QUOTE]


Re the game - yes it's all a game. Most people show their true colours anyway once they get the girl/guy

and yes the bolded is so true!

 

[hansol]

No, I'm sorry for you. I'm not being self-centered at all, at the end of the day, I'm only talking about my experience. I think some of you on here must be major keyboard jockeys and don't actually live in the real world.

When it comes to dating, I did say that I was raised the old fashioned way and no man has ever asked me to pay for dinner when on a date or go dutch etc. I don't ask them to pay for me, they just do. If you wanna be salty about that then so be it.

Also why would you go on a number of dates with a woman if you were having as you put it "a horrible time"? I am however assuming that you're smart enough to know that when you ask someone on a date (i.e. the first date in particular), you are asking for the pleasure of their company so therefore you really should pay for the meal. If you're that tight fisted then don't ask the girl to dinner.

I am shocked that you talked about "money you won't get back". How vulgar. Any man that worries about such on a date with me shouldn't have bothered asking me out in the first place.

I said I won't get my TIME back. Money is money, you can always make more. You only get 700 000 hours in a lifetime however, and I certainly don't want to waste it with a money-grubbing gold digger who wants dinner on my dime.

Keyboard jockeys? I think you're just upset that nobody here is daft enough to cater to your nonsense.

I'm not asking for the pleasure of their company. I'm trying to see if they are insane or not, worth being a mother to future children, and if they are a tiger in the sack. If not, then bugger off. "Pleasure of their company" my ass...

Anyway this is ridiculous. Go spout your elitist femme nonsense elsewhere.

 

[dalynxx]

I said I won't get my TIME back. Money is money, you can always make more. You only get 700 000 hours in a lifetime however, and I certainly don't want to waste it with a money-grubbing gold digger who wants dinner on my dime.

Keyboard jockeys? I think you're just upset that nobody here is daft enough to cater to your nonsense.

I'm not asking for the pleasure of their company. I'm trying to see if they are insane or not, worth being a mother to future children, and if they are a tiger in the sack. If not, then bugger off. "Pleasure of their company" my ass...

Anyway this is ridiculous. Go spout your elitist femme nonsense elsewhere.

Bitter much? I'll admit that you did say "time" and not "money", but your response is just wow. Never mind, we can just agree to disagree. No need to call my opinion "ridculous" is there. I guess I must have hit a nerve.

Speaking from my own experience is not in anyway "elitist", and to be honest I have no idea what has brought this much hostility towards me from you. I wish you all the best in finding that special woman. Moving on....

 

[SharinganUser]

dalynxx, have you offered to pay on dates where you were the one that was asked out?

 

[dalynxx]

dalynxx, have you offered to pay on dates where you were the one that was asked out?

Yes I have actually...but it is always refused. There was one time that I was taken out by a guy and I paid for the bill while he was in the bathroom. When he found out he was really mad and told me that I embarrased him by paying!

I actually did it because he would always pay and I just wanted to do the honours for a change....

 

[Proselytiser]

Confidence is always good in a woman, entitlement and self-importance aren't. Sometimes you manage to find a woman who is the former and not the latter and then confidence is a good thing that gets better as it increases.

 

[xdreamz]

edit: just be more giving...