"ok...well im a loner too and always have been, so i understand the place loners come from...
your trying to live up to impossible role models.
superheroes and action heroes are what us men are fed on from day one
a lot of us guys take this stuff seriously and think we should aim to be bruce lee or james bond or some other impossible fantasy role model...or at very least that we should project that image.
batman is just another example
the other thing is that when we try to be something we cant possibly be we wind up hateing ourselves or hateing everyone around us, because we cant be what we believe we should be, or have been educated to be, by society...or atleast thats how the loner sees it...trust me i know.
i know many guys who have truly effed up their lives because of this mentailty...you can call it trying to be ultra macho.
guys like this cant be seen as being weak in public, so the idea of even asking a girl out and the possibility of getting a regection is toooo humiliating to their ego, the huge ego that they built up for themselves because they were trying to be something they cant be.
like can you imagine batman or bond getting turned down by any woman....nooooo wayyyy...so the loner thinks he cant afford to loose face either...so he never even dares try.
i get regected, well not everytime of course, but yes in the beginning i did often...and you never get good at anything unless your willing to fail over and over again, but the loner mentality says i cant afford to be seen as a faliure so ill be a total looser instead.
the bravest and most courageous guys are the ones who are willing to be seen as faliures...Try it you might be amazed at how liberating it is to face your fear and go for it...the fact that a girl might say no might make you realise how pathetic you have been and how much energy you wasted on not doing this stuff sooner, because youll realise you didnt die in public and it wasnt that big a deal. Even when i get turnmed down spectacularly in a night club now, the guys who seen i tried to pull the hottest girl there think ive got nuts the size of bowiling balls and wish they had the nerve and confidence to get regected so bad hahah and still walk away laughing, and i aint joking.
P.S. the phrase no man is an island, means no man can be totally alone in this world because we cant survive without the help of other humanbeings. In otherwords evern if you think a lot of people are stupid, you still should accept them because we are all stupid in one way or another and we all need people.
I hope this helps."
Mmm,not exactly. I do not see myself as trying to live up to being these superheroes lol. That wasn't my point. I see what you're saying about the projecting the image thing, something I have struggled with. The whole being something you can't be thing, the thing I want to be is succesful,a family, women,etc, so it's like I am fighting with myself. I never tried to be ultra macho though, but the masculinity thing is a problem in some ways.
As for not being able to handle rejection, maybe I am looking at it differently, but getting girls just always seemed out of reach for me, or you had to be a certain type of guy to get the girls, which is the idea on here is it not? Or am I misuderstanding this comepletely? As for being open to new things, I like to think I am, but I have always had this thing of not following the group, I like what I like,screw anyone else.
Thing is, I haven't even begun to go through the whole go out,try,get rejected,see what you did wrong,etc. Cause in my mind, yeah, it's the whole this guy is successful,more experienced,"attractive", and I am not.
It has helped in many ways, I thank you.