I just got into a MAJOR fight with my girlfriend. Should I apologize?
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ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
By the way, a good general rule of thumb I like to use is this...
If a person has a vagina, they're wrong.
If a person has a vagina, they're wrong.
Last Man Standing
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Whatever you do - don't apologize!!! You merely gave your view and perspective and she breaks into a tantrum!! She disrespected you with her name calling!!! Women don't talk to men like this, in this vulgar manner, but hors do!
Break up and don't take her back - no matter what!!
Break up and don't take her back - no matter what!!
PlaysToWin
Don Juan
I didn't read through the whole thread so apologies for duplication...
The original statement justifying men getting paid more than women is incorrect and misleading. Yes, there exists tougher jobs, with longer hours, mostly worked by men that are correctly paid more than easier jobs. But that is totally beside the point. When people talk about the wage disparity between the genders, they are obviously talking about the average wage of a woman versus a man for EQUIVALENT jobs. And yes, THAT disparity exists. It would be stupid to argue otherwise.
The argument started off as a naive and ignorant statement on your behalf (I don't think you intended to be sexist). She obviously took offense to that. You stuck to your guns. She stuck to hers. And thus the argument takes off. That's usually how arguments work. And at this stage, who was right or wrong is totally irrelevant.
You are both totally in the wrong because both of you acted in a temperamental and provocative manner. Neither of you rose above the childish insults of the other.
The only way these things end is someone to break the viscous circle and apologise. And because it was your rather ignorant statement that started it off, it should probably be you.
(It's probably best to ignore the genuinely sexist (or very immature) remarks of some of our 12 year old posters)
The original statement justifying men getting paid more than women is incorrect and misleading. Yes, there exists tougher jobs, with longer hours, mostly worked by men that are correctly paid more than easier jobs. But that is totally beside the point. When people talk about the wage disparity between the genders, they are obviously talking about the average wage of a woman versus a man for EQUIVALENT jobs. And yes, THAT disparity exists. It would be stupid to argue otherwise.
The argument started off as a naive and ignorant statement on your behalf (I don't think you intended to be sexist). She obviously took offense to that. You stuck to your guns. She stuck to hers. And thus the argument takes off. That's usually how arguments work. And at this stage, who was right or wrong is totally irrelevant.
You are both totally in the wrong because both of you acted in a temperamental and provocative manner. Neither of you rose above the childish insults of the other.
The only way these things end is someone to break the viscous circle and apologise. And because it was your rather ignorant statement that started it off, it should probably be you.
(It's probably best to ignore the genuinely sexist (or very immature) remarks of some of our 12 year old posters)
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Remember a lot of the advice you get on here, OP, is from men who can't sustain a LTR. Just keep that in mind.
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
iqqi said:
How do you know the state of relationships of every poster on this thread????? The bottom line is that you both said some hateful things to the other, feelings got hurt, tempers flared and she is, no doubt, pouting about it all.
If you can see yourself with this girl in 20 years, you might want to talk to her about working the relationship out.
BUT...
This girl is spouting some dangerous ideas at you. (Men are dumb, men can't raise kids, men are lazy...etc) These ideas will cause a never ending drama everytime you two have a disagreement. This MAJOR fight will become commonplace and who needs that crap?
You might want to find a girl that isn't a much hated FEM-NAZI!:nono:
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
^^^ What she said. Both were in the wrong, but she sounds like she has some deep-rooted issues that need resolving. Just coz she got some daddy issues doesnt mean she should be belittling men worldwide.
In case anyone missed it the first time, I just wanted to note once again that you are definitely not a girl. Anyone who sorts your threads and reviews them can clearly tell that you are not a woman. Women don't say horsesh!t, refer to themselves as chicks, speak as crudely as you do, and 100 other things you say over and over again. What kind of twisted kick do you get out of pretending to be a woman? My guess is that you have an inferiority complex, so to compensate, you claim to be a woman hoping that what you have to say will be given added attention.iqqi said:
In contrast, wyldfire (former poster) and penkitten are so obviously women.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Oh boy.
Think I said that a lot of the advice comes from men who can't sustain LTR's. Could be cuz they don't want to. Who knows. But most of the advice telling OP to stick to his guns and rid himself of that femi-nazi biotch are also the same guys who seem to have problems getting themselves past a FB relationship.
It wasn't a diss, it was just something OP should consider. There really aren't too many men on here in LTR's, I thought that was just common knowledge.
She struck back, and many predictable things that happen in couples' fights happened here. Pretty darned textbook.
To say "get rid of that femi nazi biotch!" is extremely harsh and it would be a shame if OP took it to heart, and ended up back here posting for months on end, when he had a perfectly good relationship. Most likely OP's girlfriend is not a feminist. Just a girl who got hotheaded in an argument with her boyfriend.
As a matter of fact, I didn't even advise OP on what to do. My intent was to mainly try and shed some perspective on his girlfriend's reasons for getting so upset. Would I have handled it how she did? Probably not. But I can see where she got so upset, I can see where he maybe handled it wrong.
People take this feminist nazi war against men thing way too far on this site, as evident in some of OP's comments to his girl.
I don't think she has some "deep rooted issues", I think that she got pretty p!ssed off that her boyfriend told her that men are willing to work harder than women (insulting) and that women are basically good for being moms (insulting), and that she is a feminist, ect. ect. Many many women would get really upset if their boyfriend said that to them. I think most of her comments were made in extreme anger and frustration, and newsflash: that sh!t happens a lot in relationships. People say things they don't mean when in anger, and it results in "a huge fight".
I think it would be very unfortunate if their relationship ended over that.
Don't think I said that.WaterTiger said:
Think I said that a lot of the advice comes from men who can't sustain LTR's. Could be cuz they don't want to. Who knows. But most of the advice telling OP to stick to his guns and rid himself of that femi-nazi biotch are also the same guys who seem to have problems getting themselves past a FB relationship.
It wasn't a diss, it was just something OP should consider. There really aren't too many men on here in LTR's, I thought that was just common knowledge.
His argument didn't sound that far off from a lot of boyfriend/girlfriend arguments that I've witnessed. OP made a comment that is pretty disagreeable and debateable. The girlfriend sounded like she had a problem with the disparity in wages among men and women, and OP hit her with a pretty condescending remark. She is his girlfriend, which means her emotions are tied up in him, and whatever he says or believes is going to be a big deal to her.WaterTiger said:
She struck back, and many predictable things that happen in couples' fights happened here. Pretty darned textbook.
To say "get rid of that femi nazi biotch!" is extremely harsh and it would be a shame if OP took it to heart, and ended up back here posting for months on end, when he had a perfectly good relationship. Most likely OP's girlfriend is not a feminist. Just a girl who got hotheaded in an argument with her boyfriend.
As a matter of fact, I didn't even advise OP on what to do. My intent was to mainly try and shed some perspective on his girlfriend's reasons for getting so upset. Would I have handled it how she did? Probably not. But I can see where she got so upset, I can see where he maybe handled it wrong.
People take this feminist nazi war against men thing way too far on this site, as evident in some of OP's comments to his girl.
I don't think she has some "deep rooted issues", I think that she got pretty p!ssed off that her boyfriend told her that men are willing to work harder than women (insulting) and that women are basically good for being moms (insulting), and that she is a feminist, ect. ect. Many many women would get really upset if their boyfriend said that to them. I think most of her comments were made in extreme anger and frustration, and newsflash: that sh!t happens a lot in relationships. People say things they don't mean when in anger, and it results in "a huge fight".
I think it would be very unfortunate if their relationship ended over that.
LOL! I should make this my new siggie. azanon, women DO say horsesh!t.azanon said:
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
I wouldnt apologize....you didnt do anything wrong IMO except argue your point, as she did her own. And yeah, women are too damn emotional to argue with anyway.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
They should probably both apologize. They were both disrespectful to each other.
Hmm wait a minute! Iqqi do you always contradict yourself? Just wondering.
"As a matter of fact, I didn't even advise OP on what to do. My intent was to mainly try and shed some perspective on his girlfriend's reasons for getting so upset. " Sooo your not going to give him advice then you say they should both apologize? Hmm weird.
Iqqi you seem to be siding with the women on this from the very beginning I mean you were the first damn post! Now you are trying to become neutral and it is actually funny to witness with your post's, yes women do get paid less but their is always the "Looks" factor you always ALWAYS have to consider when you are talking about women in work. Women if they look good (have BIG boobs) will most surely be the bosses favorite employee and if she flaunts it (Which you know she will) she will be promoted faster and get more breaks then men because of how she looks. I'm not saying it happens everytime but you know it happens, iqqi tell me where you stand on this subject I mean you say they get paid less but how do you feel when women use their looks to move up in the workforce or use their looks to get further in life? Yes see you will side with them even if you deny it you cant say you never used your looks to get something you want because then that would make you a hypocrite because all women do it(Short skirts, low neck shirts what do they do? FLAUNT)
Back on subject you became an AFC when you lost your cool and it shows ,what you need to do is let each other cool off and make sure you both know you were in the wrong because that argument should never have taken place because it doesn't affect you unless you work in the same place and it is happening to either one of you. Both should apologize like other people are saying and that should be the end of it if she continues to bring it up you have a problem and you should flat out tell her to stop talking about something as trivial and as insipid as that because neither one of you can change that and you guys should just move on.
"As a matter of fact, I didn't even advise OP on what to do. My intent was to mainly try and shed some perspective on his girlfriend's reasons for getting so upset. " Sooo your not going to give him advice then you say they should both apologize? Hmm weird.
Iqqi you seem to be siding with the women on this from the very beginning I mean you were the first damn post! Now you are trying to become neutral and it is actually funny to witness with your post's, yes women do get paid less but their is always the "Looks" factor you always ALWAYS have to consider when you are talking about women in work. Women if they look good (have BIG boobs) will most surely be the bosses favorite employee and if she flaunts it (Which you know she will) she will be promoted faster and get more breaks then men because of how she looks. I'm not saying it happens everytime but you know it happens, iqqi tell me where you stand on this subject I mean you say they get paid less but how do you feel when women use their looks to move up in the workforce or use their looks to get further in life? Yes see you will side with them even if you deny it you cant say you never used your looks to get something you want because then that would make you a hypocrite because all women do it(Short skirts, low neck shirts what do they do? FLAUNT)
Back on subject you became an AFC when you lost your cool and it shows ,what you need to do is let each other cool off and make sure you both know you were in the wrong because that argument should never have taken place because it doesn't affect you unless you work in the same place and it is happening to either one of you. Both should apologize like other people are saying and that should be the end of it if she continues to bring it up you have a problem and you should flat out tell her to stop talking about something as trivial and as insipid as that because neither one of you can change that and you guys should just move on.
Epic
Senior Don Juan
I think they both made mistakes. He made a stereotypical comment, but I don't think he meant any harm by it. I don't think there is a problem with her being an activist for women's rights either. To me the problem is that, even though she is in a relationship with him, she obviously has bitterness towards men. She automatically assumed that he was trying to be sexist with that comment. Instead of saying, I can believe you said that it sounds like you're defending the wage gap, she went straight into a rage and started throwing derogatory insults. I know and have dated plenty of girls that assume too much, and they attach themselves to what they thought you meant, instead of asking you what you meant.
To me it really isn't about the topic itself, or about her being a woman. I never go off on someone like that, so I don't tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone, girlfriend or not. I think the only reason he started being mean back to her was because she kept doing it to him. If someone won't stop pushing me, I'm going to push back eventually.
I don't know if my girlfriend has views like that or not, either way she wouldn't bring it up because she knows from my conversations with other people that I hate women who are anti-men, especially those who talk to a MAN about it. Any time my girlfriend throws a tantrum like that about anything, I call her own it. I don't care that she's a woman or if she feels like she has to vent such extreme emotion. She wouldn't tolerate that from me and I wouldn't expect her to. I know women aren't perfect, but men aren't either. She is a human being same as I am, being a woman doesn't give her some high-level clearance to be a brat.
To me it really isn't about the topic itself, or about her being a woman. I never go off on someone like that, so I don't tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone, girlfriend or not. I think the only reason he started being mean back to her was because she kept doing it to him. If someone won't stop pushing me, I'm going to push back eventually.
I don't know if my girlfriend has views like that or not, either way she wouldn't bring it up because she knows from my conversations with other people that I hate women who are anti-men, especially those who talk to a MAN about it. Any time my girlfriend throws a tantrum like that about anything, I call her own it. I don't care that she's a woman or if she feels like she has to vent such extreme emotion. She wouldn't tolerate that from me and I wouldn't expect her to. I know women aren't perfect, but men aren't either. She is a human being same as I am, being a woman doesn't give her some high-level clearance to be a brat.
Mr Plow
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Fvck how women go mad if we bring up the fact that they are usually the ones who look after kids, it's not wrong!
Us guys don't go insane if a girl told us "men are usually off working whilst the women are home" we aren't like:
"OH MY GOD! You are so sexist! I HATE YOU, if women worked more maybe we could be at home!"
In fact I can't imagine many of us even NOTICING the generalisation. And plus the generalisations are true, even cartoons pick up on the fact, find me one where the man looks after the babies whilst the woman works, it doesn't happen.
Because 9/10 times this is the way it is, women with the kids, men earning the money. How can anybody find that so offensive?! Buy a women a blender or something she'll go INSAAAAANE "OH MY GOD YOU JUT WANT ME TO COOK AND CLEAN!", but then they don't take the time to realise that they are buying us gifts like shears and hedge clippers: " now you can go neaten the lawn." Said with such zest that you would've thought she'd given you the answer to all of your prayers.
Pfft
PLUS realise that women are engineered to be better at looking after children, hell, it's proven that they have more brainpower concentrated on motherhood (and intuition believe it or not), and they also have the ability to feed their young milk (sounds like something on discovery channel)... Now what does this say to you?
Maybe if he'd said something like "women are sh1t at everything and the lowest scum on the Earth," then perhaps it WOULD be offensive, but what he said was just a fact (in most cases) which women HATE coming to terms with.
Us guys don't go insane if a girl told us "men are usually off working whilst the women are home" we aren't like:
"OH MY GOD! You are so sexist! I HATE YOU, if women worked more maybe we could be at home!"
In fact I can't imagine many of us even NOTICING the generalisation. And plus the generalisations are true, even cartoons pick up on the fact, find me one where the man looks after the babies whilst the woman works, it doesn't happen.
Because 9/10 times this is the way it is, women with the kids, men earning the money. How can anybody find that so offensive?! Buy a women a blender or something she'll go INSAAAAANE "OH MY GOD YOU JUT WANT ME TO COOK AND CLEAN!", but then they don't take the time to realise that they are buying us gifts like shears and hedge clippers: "
now you can go neaten the lawn." Said with such zest that you would've thought she'd given you the answer to all of your prayers.Pfft
PLUS realise that women are engineered to be better at looking after children, hell, it's proven that they have more brainpower concentrated on motherhood (and intuition believe it or not), and they also have the ability to feed their young milk (sounds like something on discovery channel)... Now what does this say to you?
Maybe if he'd said something like "women are sh1t at everything and the lowest scum on the Earth," then perhaps it WOULD be offensive, but what he said was just a fact (in most cases) which women HATE coming to terms with.
I agree with Iqqi and Danger
this was indeed a dumb fight and both should apologize. it doesn't matter if what he said was true or not, she was offended, that's all that matters
it's like calling a fat person fat and the getting mad at them for getting offended. doesn't matter if it's true, it still is rude.
both are at fault, and both should own up too it. A big person, owns up to what they've done wrong. and the person who apologizes will show their maturity
this was indeed a dumb fight and both should apologize. it doesn't matter if what he said was true or not, she was offended, that's all that matters
it's like calling a fat person fat and the getting mad at them for getting offended. doesn't matter if it's true, it still is rude.
both are at fault, and both should own up too it. A big person, owns up to what they've done wrong. and the person who apologizes will show their maturity
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
I said that BOTH parties got heated and said hurtful things. The disagreement quickly degenerated into a "I'm right, you're wrong" kind of thing. She has some strong ideas, and so does he, unfortunatly the ideals are polar opposites. I know that "opposites attract" but unless you want EVERY single argument to fall under te "Girls Rule, Boys Drool" heading, I think he's better off with a more open minded, less snappy girl.