I just can't escalate to a KISS!!

Mix

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If you've kissed her, or even if you haven't, just say, "Have you ever had a massage?" It doesn't really matter what they say, just say "Sit on my lap and I'll give you a massage" or just say, "Lie down and I'll give you a massage. If they're on their front that's best, straddle them just behind her butt and start moving around, then gradually move down and start undressing her.
I don't know if this is an age thing. At 24, I don't consider myself old but I definitely feel that at this point, the whole "I'll give you a massage" thing is WAY over-done and EXTREMELY not-smooth. If this works on a girl, it's because she wants to fvck you anyway because it's pretty much the equivalent of asking "can I rub your shoulders and then try to take off your shirt, then your bra and then stick my **** in your ear whilst I rub your boobies?"

I'm not saying it won't work. I'm just saying it's FAR from smooth.


Also, I don't think you should ever ask a girl if you can kiss her. Nex pointed out some of the best reasons against doing it. A question like, "what would happen if I kiss you?" or any other open-ended, non yes/no question is a better to ask as a last resort if you ABSOLUTELY don't have the balls to just do it.
 

Reach

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Listen, I'm 19. I have got results in the real world, I've only slept with two girls but that's pretty much exactly the way I did it. When you're learing it's best to learn from other people who are learning because you're at the same point and recognize eachothers environment.

I'm not asking you guys if it works, I'm telling it does and has worked in the real world.
 

^_^

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That's actually kinda funny, I never thought asking for a kiss would be a good idea.

But when I look at that situation that Reach posted above (of course that's not going to happen to all of us) it doesnt sound so bad.


I think asking for a kiss is a situational thing. If you just cant get close enough to the girl maybe you should ask for a kiss....all girls are different, it's just a matter of finding what yours wants.
 

StrivetoThrive

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Cmon guys,

Im not claiming to be the foremost expert on making out or anything, but you are overanalyzing this. This should be fun, and not like we are reading from a friggen instruction manual. First of all, if the chick is alone with you somewhere she probably wants to make out with you. Period. SO expect good things to happen after you get these dates. Everybody gets a little nervous, I do, everyone does, because its exciting to rock a chick that you want to rock, but this nervousness should not impair your ability to get in there. Secondly, making bodily contact, aka KINO, is the way to initiate kissing. Just holding hands or what not is easy, fun, and helps you to escalate the situation. So when you do this, just take your hand play with her hair, whatever, she obviously knows whats going on, so let it happen. Then turn her chin towards you and plant one on and make it good. Thats it. Thats all there is to it. Be confident and use kino so she know whats happening and not like its a huge suprise and go for it.
 

Mix

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Originally posted by Reach
When you're learing it's best to learn from other people who are learning because you're at the same point and recognize eachothers environment.

I'm not asking you guys if it works, I'm telling it does and has worked in the real world.
I'm understand your point. I'm not knocking that approach--hell, I've used that approach when I was younger. It will work . . . SOMETIMES.

When learning, I think it's a bad idea to just learn "what works." Sometimes, you can succeed using this learning technique and that's fine.

However, a more powerful way to learn is to understand the UNDERLYING PRINCIPLES that guide all situations in general. This is like learning to answer the question, "why?"


What I was trying to say is that, with most of the women I encounter, that tactic isn't a solid one AT ALL. The reason WHY it works on occasion is because the woman already wants to fvck and you've given her an excuse to do it--albeit a VERY LAME excuse. She has to want to fvck you pretty strongly already for this to have any chance of leading to sex.

When a woman has had more sexual partners (is watching her "numbers") or generally just has more incentive to NOT have sex, then this approach will break down.

I have actually heard several "horror stories" from women describing guys who used techniques like this. In fact, if you mention massages to a girl and don't do it tactfully, you can turn her off. For example, just this past weekend, I was talking to this chick on the phone and the conversation went like this (mind you she's in her 30's)...

HB30s: blah, blah tired
Mix: yeah, you sound a little stressed--like you need to unwind.
HB30s: my back is really killing me
Mix: funny, my back doesn't hurt me after doing a lot of work. I guess that probably comes from you being so old. I'm glad I'm not over the hill
HB30s: *laughing hard*
Mix: You know, I used to be a semi-professional masseuse
HB30s: *sigh* oh really?
Mix: Yeah, I could give you a massage
HB30s: *sigh* mmmmmmph *sigh* [VERY obvious that she has heard the "massage" approach before]
Mix: [noticing that she's not biting...I switch it up] Well, I COULD HAVE given you one in the past. I don't give massages anymore [pause long enough to let her think but not speak] yeah, it's hard giving massages because when I do, women always try to seduce me and that gets REAL OLD!
HB30s: *laughs*
Mix: [not laughing] I'm serious. They try to take off their shirt and bra or get all sexy and . . . I just want them to pay me my $20 so I can go home!
HB30s: *laughs hard* boy, you’re too much.
Mix: [still not laughing] See, you think it's funny. That's why I definitely don't trust you. Especially since you're always trying to seduce me [break off on tangent about how she's been trying to seduce me and how I won't stand for it! I say, "I am not an object! Okay, maybe I am but that was just that one time with that one girl, I swear!"]
If I had continued with the massage approach she would have been very turned off. I threw it out there to see how she would react (even if she reacted positively, I still would have told her she could not get one--because she'd probably try to seduce me). Frankly, though, I don't give massages to girls I haven't fvcked at least once. That sh!t tires my hands. Why should I work? They should be massaging me.


So bringing this all back to the topic . . .

I agree with what StrivetoThrive was saying. Basically guys, don't focus on WHAT specific tactics work because then you'll be stuck trying to learn the right tactic for every possible situation. As soon as your "lay down, I'll give you a massage" tactic doesn't work (real soon), she'll be leaving and you'll be stuck with no poontang--doing the knuckle shuffle. Instead, just understand the underlying principles and let those guide your actions.

The underlying priciple for kissing . . . just do it.

Well . . .

get close enough first.

(I should probably touch her, huh?)

Yeah!

Then . . .

Just do it.
 

Joe The Homophobe

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Then say "Can I kiss you?"
NEVER ASK A GIRL IF YOU CAN KISS HER!
This sounds weird to them and it will creep them out. Sosuave has an article on this I forget the url.

Ragin_Asian, maybe your problem is that you're putting too much expectation on your kiss? When you're close to her just go ahead and give her a fast kiss. Wait like 2 seconds and give her a follow up. Remember now that when you want to initiate a kissing session it don't start out with full blown french kissing, it usually starts with a simple close liped kisses and then it escalates.
 

Reach

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Okay, so far we have people who have said going for the direct route has worked, yet they're still saying it's a bad idea. The fact is, it's one idea in a vast toolbox and in certain situations it works. I know it won't work in all situations, the three times I kissed girls properly before my first lay they intiated. When I scored I initiated, the second time I intiated all I said was "Come here."

I'm getting better at recognising the signs so eventually I won't have to even say anything, but you have to start somewhere. And it's better to get predictible results than just to wait for random girls jumping on you.
 

pg5781

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When I’m dating a girl, I never go for the first kiss until the end of the date. It’s the perfect time for it, rather than trying to do it in the middle where it gets tricky.

This has worked for me 100% of the times ive done it. The first date is usually uncomfortable since there’s a little nervousness on both ends and the girl usually has her defense shield up. So as the first date is wrapping up and I’m saying good bye, I’ll hug her and plant a kiss on her cheek. After I kiss her, I’ll make sure I end face to face with her, really close but not too close and make sure I have good eye contact; and I’ll say “I’ll give you a call sometime”, I smile and say good bye.

On the 2nd date, I’ll end the same exact way, with a kiss on the cheek but this time when I’m face to face with her, I’ll smile and go in for the passionate kiss. I ALWAYS go for the kiss on the 2nd date because if you wait any longer, she’ll think you’re a wuss for not going for it.

This works because 1) if she’s a good girl and doesn’t like to kiss on the first date, she’ll respect you and appreciate that you didn’t try to jam your tongue down her throat when you barely know each other. The 2nd date, she feels a little more comfortable with you and if she’s having a good time, she will kiss you 2) if the girl is easy or is a little more outgoing, when you don’t kiss her on the 1st date, it will leave her wanting it even more when you go for it on the 2nd date.

I like to kiss her on her cheek first because it relieves some awkwardness when going in for a kiss. It actually flows pretty well from the cheek and then going right into the kiss. You don’t want to just be standing there and then out of nowhere, try to go for the kiss. It wont work and she’ll probably turn you down.
 

MagicPunt

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I'm a freshman @ BU, wouldn't call myself an AFC, but I do have trouble closing the kiss.

Yesterday I had a lunch date with this cute asian chick, had a good time ... knew she was into me, ended up watchin TV in her room for a bit, actually did have her give me a massage and vice versa ... but I just didn't kiss her. I knew she wanted to, and I did too, just couldn't bring myself to do it for some reason.

Tonite, I went over this chicks apartment to blaze (had met her once before and we hit it off). My friend came with us, we smoked, he left and we talked for probably an hour or two (high, but still) and had an awesome time. Decent amount of kino, and I figured I'd go for the kiss as I left. I kinda got nervous as I was leaving, made the convo too long, and it just ended slightly awkward for me and I just ended up kissing her cheek (although it mighta appeared that I went for it)


What's wrong with me?

I obviously have the ability to have a good time with these chicks, but I just can't close the fukcing first kiss (after that I'm really comfortable with it, maybe I'm making too big of a deal.)

Any suggestions?
 

Ragin_Asian

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Yea man I hear ya. I started this thread and there seems to be a good amount of advice from all sorts of experiences.

Am I correct to say that once you get past the kiss you can pretty much escalate all the way and do your thang. I think my situation stems from all sorts of other real life situations.

For example:
1. I can't join up a sport cos I'm too nervous and anxious. But once I'm on the field I have no fear and play the best game I can.
2. I can't jump in the pool cos I hate the cold splash when you get in. Once I get in its all good that I wouldnt wanna get out.
3. I don't want to drive in the big city because I am not used to the big traffic and the car. But as soon as I get the hang of it it's all smooth sailing.

See a PATTERN? Yes. Fear and putting way too much importance on the situation and anticipating the worse makes it all too hard. Once I knock the situation off its high throne then I can pretty much take control of the situation. Sounds easier said than done:p

Here's what I am going to do to prevent myself from blocking up and wussing out. It's all got to do with balls and we all know we all have iceberg balls (only a bit popping out but the rest is all hidden beneath :D ):
1. Knocking the situation off its pedestal
2. Just jump in at the right moment and stop hesitating.
3. Do not think of the consequences at all.
4 Quit stalling because it just makes it worse and worse.

I am currently doing most of those and taking the lead on most things rather than following. If i just follow that would mean I have to wait for her to kiss rather than me initiating things. Silly huh?

Oh yea...EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE!!!
 

Reach

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It's good you guys are learning, hopefully I'll pick up some tips too.
 

blackjack

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THIS IS CALLED A KISS TEST:

I read it some where on net and it sure did help a lot. Just like the player said it is like jumping into a cold swimming pool. true dont jump just sit by it and put ur one foot in and let the temperature do its magic, if the water is more tempting u are going to jump no matter it is too cold,

So ending the philosophy. here is what u do:

when u both are alone and enjoying a candle light dinner or sitting in a park , or on ur sofa with a big ass tv in font. (dosent really matters where u are.. just be sure u both are comfortable). U slowly touch the tips of her hair and start playing with them but have to keep ur calm. (Kino and eye contact has to be here) U momentrily circulate ur view from her eyes to her lips. and imphasise more on her lips and Talk softly with a depth u would know when the time is right , if she breaks away u know , but if the fondeling of her hair is present for a long time and she is relaxed u know the iron is HOT..
 
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