"I hope you have a good weekend"

Deep Dish

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Some months ago, I told a hot bartender girl "I hope you have a good weekend." I said it as she handed my bill and as she began walking away.

I wasn't trying to pick her up, before I said it, I just thought it would be a good thing to say. I didn't stutter and said it like normal.

But it was significant enough to stop her in her tracks and pause for a moment to process what I said.

Why did she pause?

I don't think it was the delivery of the line which caused the pause. I think she paused because she noticed a sign of attraction from a man of interest on her radar. You pause when you hear something potentially life changing. You do not pause when you hear "I hope you have a good weekend" and you don't think anything special about the person saying it. "I hope you have a good weekend" is so ordinary that it should pass without any thought, unless said by a guy on her radar. The radio telescope in her brain detected a signal because her telescope was pointed in my direction.

I then spent a number of months away from the restaurant because I wasn't trying to pick her up, and was just living my life.

Then, about a month ago, I went back into the restaurant, wearing a suit with a black shirt and red tie, and was the best dressed person in the room. I got her as a bartender. When I fumbled around with something, it made her giggle. Two weeks later, which was a few weeks ago, I went back again with a cleanly shaved head and face. This time she was not my bartender but she ran my food. We made eye contact across the room a few minutes before she ran my food. When I looked up as she was delivering my food, I saw a flash of a micro-expression of a twinkle in her eyes.

Whatever she was thinking when she paused, I think she came to a good conclusion.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I wasn't trying to pick her up, before I said it, I just thought it would be a good thing to say. I didn't stutter and said it like normal.
It's polite to wish someone a good evening or a nice weekend or a pleasant stay or enjoy your holiday.

You made it sound normal because in your mind you were not trying to pick her up. And that was in your tone, so you differ from the drooling pervs that have a different tone, even if they use the same words.

Because your interaction wasn't outcome dependent (you were not trying to reach a goal, like a number or a date), your words sounded congruent with your non-verbal communication. A genuinely friendly considerate person.

Good job, DD.
 

nismo-4

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You were being cordial. Whoopdy-doo. Did you smash? You know you wanted to, don't kid yourself. Maybe you just wanted to have a fun night out.

Outcome independence is good, but I guarantee she went by Chad when she get off work. Likely used your tip money to feed him.

OP, she sees you as a client, customer, or friend. Not Chad or Tyrone. Bob or John, yes.

What do you really want with this hot bartender? You care, as evidenced by this post.
 

SW15

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It's very difficult to seduce women while they are working. Women with jobs that interact heavily with the general public are the most difficult to seduce on the clock.

I've generally believed in not hitting on women at work. It's ideal to meet women who work with the public in settings outside of work.

 

LTG71

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Ah, the imagination is a wonderful thing. He was cordial and she responded. He comes back later and the fantasy reel is running in his head. You showed basic manners, she’s probably not used to it so she wants to hear more. You’re already thinking about dating and fvcking her while she just appreciates you not being the typical douche.

What‘s the thing they same about opposite gender friends? The guy over estimates the level of mutual attraction while the female just sees him as a non-sexual friend. This bartender just sees you as a friendly customer. Until you ask her out and something actually happens, it’s just wishful thinking. You’ll have to escalate to see if the feelings are mutual.
 

Bokanovsky

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Whatever she was thinking when she paused, I think she came to a good conclusion.
It's also entirely possible that you re engaging in wishful thinking and misreading her reaction (you wouldn't be the first man to do so). It would be very easy to check if she's attracted to you. Ask for her number.
 
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