I have issues - it's serious...Help.

[Dee-Zy]

I'm emotionnally unstable. I am a very pationate person therefore I tend to live in a black/white world. I go from one extreme to the other. Call me a B!tch whatever. I don't care, it's the truth.

I am the only child N I have been live'N with my mom for over 10 years. I never had a male figure to look up to since my mom and dad split up when I was 8-9 N we moved away pretty far. (Mtl-Toronto if u have any knowledge of Canada) So it's not your typical, My parents are divorced but I still see them all the time stuff.

What's all this? Well, my emotions are what causing me the biggest trouble when it comes to be'N the full DJ. I guess since I was always live'N with my mother - I am become'N more and more like her. That was my biggest fear actually.

My question is - how can I become more emotionally stable N control myself more?

 

[Oxide]

i lived with my mother for 13 years till she got married again.

A lot of my past AFC traits came from that, but hell, you live and learn.

Im not sure what u mean by being emotionally unstable? do u start jumping on the walls all of sudden?

Do u fall in depression? give us some more info

 

[Jvesti123]

I'd say if you can't find any influences around you. Find them in books. Read anything by Napoleon Hill such as "think and grow rich". "The New Psycho-cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz is a good book to learn about self image and piece of mind. "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie is a good book/guide on dealing and interacting with others, which 95% of the population does incorrectly and it ****s them over in their lives.

 

[Starman]

MOVE OUT! and discover yourself

 

[Chaos-Knight]

Moving out helps,
I moved out of my parents place by 16.
your in control of your enviroment in your
own space and you can stay up late whatever...

as far as emotions go,
Your brain is your worst enemy,
or your best friend IF you control it.

example I used to get pissed off about slow drivers
on the highway...
Then after I made peace with myself
I now "deal with the problem"
instead of getting worked up about it.
I RAM THEM OFF THE ROAD WITH MY TRUCK!! << joking
I insult them sometimes and I laugh at them at the same time

anyways you must seek self-happyness without
dependancy on others.
Often I make plans to go have fun doing stuff I like.
And I do as I feel like,Life is The Best in my Mind.
We all have so-much time on this planet
so why not enjoy life to the fullest.

And YOU can control your life and make it Good,
Like the movie "Office Space" you can change jobs,
move to a whole new area and make a fresh start.
It all starts IN YOUR HEAD.

And remember: It Could be alot worse <<seriously

 

[hitop]

Is it entirely possible that you could post a picture of yourself?

 

[Alk]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
I'm emotionnally unstable. I am a very pationate person therefore I tend to live in a black/white world. I go from one extreme to the other. Call me a B!tch whatever. I don't care, it's the truth.

You are not alone man. I'm also like that! Espically when it come's to relationship's.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by Jvesti123
"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie is a good book/guide on dealing and interacting with others, which 95% of the population does incorrectly and it ****s them over in their lives.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Table of Contents

* Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
* Six Ways to Make People Like You
* How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
* Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two
Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 

[Caesar20]

same shyt here.
the prob it's not my mother (not 100% though), but more my grandmother (!!!).

99% of my afc and extreme shyness came from her (like don't talk to people you don't know).

blah.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

I will second that you read "Psycho Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz. Its an amazing, life changing book. It helped me work through the tail end of my battle with depression.

Its great that you know where your problems spawn from, but its important to let the past go now that you know. Forget about it.

I look at all past experiences good and bad as being great things. Without thoughs experiences, I wouldn't have become the man I am today, so I'm glad that I've gone through so much shyt in my life, it has made me very strong now, and I'm more ready for the future.

I look at life these days as a day to day opportunity to build character and grow as a man. I take risks, and I have fun.

Stop living in the past, your youth is fleeting, start living for now, while your hearts still beating!

Mr. Mystery

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Oxide
i lived with my mother for 13 years till she got married again.

A lot of my past AFC traits came from that, but hell, you live and learn.

Im not sure what u mean by being emotionally unstable? do u start jumping on the walls all of sudden?

Do u fall in depression? give us some more info

this is an email from my friend... to make a long story short - he had stuff he had to get off his chest.

I admit, I avoided you during my first year in college and up to before I left
for vacation. Why? It wasn't the right time to tell you anything plus I had
other priorities in mind like schooling and looking for a job. I couldn't stand
you when you pressure something up because you want it to happen. You try to
stress things up and you take it too seriously. You should always respect
someone’s decision and not be too pushy. You really need to understand that
people dont want to be dictated by any means. I feel uneasy around you because I
just can’t stand it plain and simple. I couldn't stand you when you burst into a
hissy fit like a girl when you got your temper going. It’s like you have a
period, sometimes your worst than a prepubescent girl. You act like a girl. Get
a ****ing grip and grow up! And don’t be too emotional. All these things are so
annoying because they're always repeated by you, which makes you so annoying.
The constant useless *****ing and whinning are not helping either. You really
need to loosen up, people think you try too hard. Sometimes it gets to the point
where I wanted to kick your ass.

Can't be more blunt then this. I seriously don't see where and when the f#ck I was 'pushy' or whatever but I'm not gonna deny anything. I'd rather realize it N work with the flow then try'N to fight it.

GHOST

 

[One on One]

I think you're obsession with capitalizing the letter 'N' has something to do with your problem

I don't know how you can be more emotionally stable, but maybe try taking up a relaxing hobby like fishing.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

dave134 I was just about to say that



I think you're obsession with capitalizing the letter 'N' has something to do with your problem




Dee-Zy,

I can't really feel sorry for you. Because I grow up with my father in jail. The rest of my males in my family were losers. So I looked up to celbs and I became my own man.

I am very greatful for that I have learned to be a man on my own.

I don't hate my father for being a d!ck because I am mature and don't linger on the past.

I think the first step should be to stop blamming other people. The second should be to work on getting out of your rut.

I hope you get better playboy.

 

[Dee-Zy]

I never blamed anybody nor do I search for pity. I am stating the facts. It is known that if you live with the same person for so long - u become very similar to that person.

 

[Borgia]

Hi

Do you have problems with relating to other people? What kind of situations are you most calms in?

Please respond

 

[Oxide]

Whining is a huge thing Dee Zy, here is something you should try. DO NOT COMPLAIN FOR A WEEK. DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL. Ill give it a try with u.

Why stop complaining? Becuase it just annoys people, and makes you look like a little girl who cant take care of herself. One of my best friends loves to *****. He just *****es about anything...just anything...and everytime he does i wanna smack his ass against the wall...


I know where people have problem with me, may be you guys can help me out here.
I see people's flaws too well, in their behavior and such, so i always try to give advice and tell them how to improve, and some people dont wish to change so they get pissy at me.

 

[bugsquish]

I think I can identify with what you are saying. Black and white. For years I would be POLAR. One thing would happen to make me very happy, then something else would happen to make me depressed. But generally depressed. Also, I would get upset (and pushy) a lot and fall out with my friends who I thought betrayed me (usually when I was drunk which happened a lot).

You are suffering from depression, plain and simple. You are blaming it on things because it is an excuse not to change. I used to blame my depression on past drug use, women troubles, childhood experiences etc. Then one day a good friend of mine - one of the most intelligent guys I have ever met - sat me down for a good chat. He made me realise that coming up with "reasons" for my depression was the very thing keeping me there. My main problem was a distinct lack of satisfaction with my life as it was. The thing that made it worse was internally validating the depression by blaming it on so many factors from my past.

A side effect was that I became a very annoying person to those around me. As a result I became more reclusive and in turn more depressed. Oh, a painful breakup of a LTR played a big part..

So how did I beat it?

1) Moved out, got a new job in a new city, made new friends. Basically get off your ass and challange yourself. Put yourself in situations that give you satisfaction and happiness.
2) Don't feel sorry for yourself. Listening to yourself whinging is depressing for you as well as annoying for others. Just deal with it. It's not as bad as you think.
3) Forget the past is also important. It doesn't effect you unless you let it. Focus on the present, or the future. How is it going to get better? Visualise it and do it.
4) You know your faults, you have the power to change. So people found you pushy or annoying. You are very lucky that someone took the time to outline these things for you to work on. Some people are not so lucky.

Just relax in the knowledge that you can start to change NOW. This site is the best tool you have. Follow the tips/bible religiously. Things will get better I promise you. I still have a long way to go and still lapse into unconfidence from time to time, but I have hardly felt any depression for months. Before that it was every day. I have stopped any emotional outbursts and pushy behaviour in this time. Seems I've also become more attractive to chicks! Just don't expect to change overnight. It is hard work but it's worth it.

I hope this helps!

 

[Dee-Zy]

yes it helped alot.

I just bought myself a pair of rollerblades N bought the New Onyx album. I have been keepin myself busy but yesterday was horrible. I was a walking zombie at work.

I'll be back with more. I have to do some sh!t right now.

 

[Titus]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
I'm emotionnally unstable. I am a very pationate person therefore I tend to live in a black/white world. I go from one extreme to the other. Call me a B!tch whatever. I don't care, it's the truth.

I am the only child N I have been live'N with my mom for over 10 years. I never had a male figure to look up to since my mom and dad split up when I was 8-9 N we moved away pretty far. (Mtl-Toronto if u have any knowledge of Canada) So it's not your typical, My parents are divorced but I still see them all the time stuff.

What's all this? Well, my emotions are what causing me the biggest trouble when it comes to be'N the full DJ. I guess since I was always live'N with my mother - I am become'N more and more like her. That was my biggest fear actually.

My question is - how can I become more emotionally stable N control myself more?

That is serious buisness...
The only advice i can give you is this: as long as you are afraid that you will become like her, you will. And the more you fight it, the more it will sink into you. That ia a 100% true fact and it sticks worse then any glue ever created.
The only way out of this is to stop being afraid, and start seeing throu the whole situation, to understand it, so you can accept it, and make it better for yourself.
I'm sorry i cannot offer you anything more, exept maybe the names of two short books, that may be of help:
Anthony De Mello "awareness"
Don Migule Ruiz "the four agreements"

May you have the best of luck and fortune!
So long

Titus

 

[Dee-Zy]

YES MY FRIENDS ARE STILL PENISES.