I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[Tenacity]

I have no holes to fill; hence I don’t need a relationship to fill a nonexistent hole.

I just don't understand. If there's no hole, no need, no fulfillment that the woman provides you....then what's the purpose of all of this?

Sex, company, children, and net benefits (or as you call favors).

- I can call an escort to get sex and avoid having to learn game, work on self development, and having to go through the "numbers game" of approaching chicks, dating them, etc. to get fvcks.

- That same escort can provide "company"

- If I want children personally, I can go adopt or get a surrogate mother

- The favors provided in terms of cooking, cleaning, or running errands are things I can do myself

Guru you are older than me. I think you are in your mid-40's correct? So you are at least 12 years older than me. Have you just sat down and really thought about what the damn purpose of all of this is?

I’ll entertain one, if I had a net benefit to it. That “net benefit” would be an addition to my already fabulous life, not the center/focus of it. Big difference.

But Guru the things you listed are ALL things that can be acquired without going through any of this shyt. Plus your life is already fabulous as you state. So then what in the hell is the point of going through this for?

You know why I'm here? Because I have a hole that I believe a certain type of woman fills. If I had no such hole, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't care. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even deal with women in this capacity. When I get horny, I can go to escorts for $50 - $70 a POP who will also provide companionship/company on the side as well.

Question: If you rely on a woman to fill your "hole," when she leaves, where does that leave you?

It would be the same thing to where if AT&T cut off my wireless internet. I would be left without an internet provider (leaving a hole) and would be scrambling trying to find another provider as soon as possible (to fill the hole).

You know what I think Guru? I don't think most of the guys here want to be pseudo-players and spin plates, then pat themselves on the back talking about how much PVSSY they are getting.

I think the vast majority of guys here are good guys, who are traditional, who just want quality LTRs. I can tell you that the spinning plates shyt is something I fell into....it's NOT what the hell I want, it's not something I enjoy, and I honestly find it quite stupid/waste of time. Like I said, since 2010, I have dated/fvcked countless women, and have nothing to show for all of that wasted time, energy, money, nuts, etc. Nothing to show for it.

I would have MUCH rather had 1 LTR since 2010 that just ended this year or something. At least I could point back over the previous 6 years and say I had a woman who cared about me, we shared things together, etc., but for whatever reason it just fell a part. That 1 failed LTR would be more valuable in my opinion, then the HUNDREDS of dates/fvcks I've had since 2010.

 

[guru1000]

- I can call an escort to get sex. That same escort can provide "company"

This is a business transaction. I enjoy the sport; that is, I don't want somebody to just bring the "kill" to me for $500. I enjoy the chase and the kill, borne by my efforts.

- If I want children personally, I can go adopt or get a surrogate mother

Show me where I can get a HB9 surrogate mother with intelligence, and mother my children, and I'm game. This is a possibility, and I'm open to it.

Guru you are older than me. I think you are in your mid-40's correct? So you are at least 12 years older than me.

What difference does age make? You have kids here half your age who "get" it, and you still don't.

Plus your life is already fabulous as you state. So then what in the hell is the point of going through this for?

Go through any of what? I enjoy dating and fvcking new women. This is akin to saying why did you learn to hunt and go hunting for deer, when ultimately you have no need for deer. Well no shvt, but I enjoyed the hunt. It called game. Enjoy it to enjoy it; nothing else. And when it stops becoming enjoyable, then find another hobby that you enjoy.

It would be the same thing to where if AT&T cut off my wireless internet. I would be left without an internet provider (leaving a hole) and would be scrambling trying to find another provider as soon as possible (to fill the hole).

You're confused. Internet is a want, not a need. Do you need internet like you need air to breathe, or water to hydrate. Your hole is self-contrived; it is a lack of love stemming from your childhood. Your hole is only there as you created it. Now you want to take this self-contrived hole like a bucket and pass it around from girl to girl, and ask, "Can any of you girls, please fill my bucket? Please, I'm dying here." LOL!

I think the vast majority of guys here are good guys, who are traditional, who just want quality LTRs. I can tell you that the spinning plates shyt is something I fell into....it's NOT what the hell I want, it's not something I enjoy, and I honestly find it quite stupid/waste of time. Like I said, since 2010, I have dated/fvcked countless women, and have nothing to show for all of that wasted time, energy, money, nuts, etc. Nothing to show for it.

What do you want a prize for time well spent?

I would have MUCH rather had 1 LTR since 2010 that just ended this year or something. At least I could point back over the previous 6 years and say I had a woman who cared about me, we shared things together, etc., but for whatever reason it just fell a part.

I'm teary-eyed here reading this. But, you forget one rudimentary concept: The woman never truly cared about you, rather, she only cared about how well you serviced her needs. Her sharing was self-serving; not altruistic, and did not originate to help you, but rather to help her. You were just an instrument.

If you want to get into an LTR, then get into one. I'm not handcuffing you. I state simply not to bring your empty bucket to one. Fill that bucket right here, right now, and then LTR out of desire, not necessity.

 

[Steady Eddie]

I started reading this thread at page 3 or 4 and finished at about page 9 or so. Tenacity you write with clarity and understanding, but the responses or advice (if you could call it that) is vague and ill defined. Can you imagine chemists conducting scientific inquiry, among themselves, in this manner? For instance a chemical engineer wants to synthesize a compound and requires the exacts steps in which to do so. In such disciplines the why and how are vitally important. But instead of getting the formula for (say) Trimethyl Orthoformate, the engineer is given, instructions on how to make tea.
Even worse the engineer is told he should accept this against all rational thought to the contrary.

Telling anyone you have a problem brings out the worst in them. They see an opportunity to manipulate. Even if the manipulation isn't to their express purpose, it allows them to hone their skills.

The good advice on this thread has been to change your environment, or date outside your ethnicity. Changing your environment is difficult because your work and close friendships depend on your location. A way around this could be to take short breaks, in other parts of the U.S. and get an idea of those places (work related opportunities) and people (women). If not holidaying outside the U.S.
Regarding a change of ethnicity is a choice only you can make. You could always bang black women on the side, if you do decide to switch.

I spent some of my twenties believing if only I could control my mind the rest would follow. I use to meditate whenever I could. The result of this was losing the ability to critically think for myself. Which ironically is something you're being asked to give up on this thread.
My late 30's, however, has been dominated with the idea "we are what we eat".
We're chemically based organism after all.
Not so long ago I use to feel anxiety and stress. I use to panic a lot. But it took the loss of two jobs last year to eventually inspired my current mode of thinking. When I quit the second job I sat in the place I had just rented (expressly for that job), knowing I would lose the rental deposit and have to uproot and move again. I panicked so much that I barely ate anything for 3 days. But at the end of those 3 days I realised one thing. I had lost weight. I had been going to the gym for a while, doing 5 mile runs every week or so and walking to work and nothing worked to remove that weight. I'd had the weight for nearly a decade.
This inspired me to filter what I was eating. I'm a vegetarian, so that aspect of my diet won't change. But any and all processed sugar and salt has been removed entirely from my diet. I usually drink a cup of green tea a day, which relieves stress and anxiety due to it's effect on the central nervous system. I try to get as much chlorophyll as I can, to improve oxygen levels in my body.
Tao longevity breathing is another method that improves your overall well being, with immediate noticeable effects.
But what really convinced me was discovering a vitamin called K2.

This vitamin shouldn't be confused with K or K1. K2 removes calcium from your blood stream and binds it to your bones. You find it in milk and chicken breast\liver, butter etc. But since I don't drink milk (soya milk instead) and had given up on butter I was missing this from my diet.
There's a steel shutter door at work, I had difficulty opening. I would be tugging at it and using two hands with my back to the wall as leverage.
But within days of taking K2 I was able to open it with one hand, in one go. One of the fellas at work even remarked "You don't know your own strength". Luckily he hadn't seen my previous attempts.
My aggression levels have also gone through the roof.

What I'm saying is we're, all, a series of chemical equations. Add and subtract to get the desired response from yourself.

I would also add, I think you need to focus and leave women be for a while. What are you doing for financial security? When we have some form of long term security we're more comfortable with ourselves and more confident in the world around us.

 

[The Duke]

I’m a personality that likes to win, and I also like to have it my way. So its very important for me to learn ways to accomplish my goals or I’m not happy. I was pretty much clueless when I started this journey after a divorce almost 10yrs ago which is what brought me here. But with each girl I went thru, I improved myself. It took a lot of self-reflection. It took me getting out of my comfort zone. It required me to be accountable for my own actions. I exposed myself to constructive criticism. I asked a lot of questions on this forum. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding women, relationships, psychology, etc. I improved my looks and my wardrobe. I improved my bed room skills. I improved my seduction skills. I got over any fears I had. I improved my interactions with women.

Now days I’m that guy who has experienced just about every kind of girl there is. I score high in all the categories that matter to women. I’m the guy that “appears” to have it all. I do what I want. I live life on my own terms. I live out my dreams. I’ve had every thing from 1 night stands to 2-5yr long term relationships. My married friends all live vicariously through me. I have definitely matured past the point of changing girls out every 2-3months and the spinning plates crap. That life gets old and is not very satisfying for me all though I do love to conquer new girls as I am a hunter.

I too got frustrated with the type of girls I was getting at different points of my life, but when I did I dug down deep, and worked on me. As I kept improving me, I got better looking girls, and better acting girls.

I’ve learned that the best girls are reserved for the best guys. Winners attract Winners! Losers attract Losers! Women prefer men that are self-made, and have accomplished something. Women are opportunists. At the end of the day, they don’t want to help you advance your life/career, they want to ride your coat tails. Every damn one of them wants to marry me……there is a reason for that. It tells me I am doing something right.

But in order to be “that” guy, you must do what the others refuse or are too lazy to do. I used to go out 3 nights a week honing my skills, and I still made it to work at 6am the next morning. You also have to keep the right attitude about all of it. It’s a tough road to go down. Some aren’t cut out for it. You won’t get there being hard headed, lacking self-control, complaining, full of attitude, refusing to change your game, refusing to grow.

I don’t look at all the time and money spent learning women as a waste. I enjoyed every minute of it. I learned about myself, what I liked, what I didn’t from every one of those girls I was ever with. I thank each one for the opportunity to better myself. It was a huge lesson in understanding people that I benefit from while working in corporate America.

When you keep failing, you can’t just blame everybody else. You have to own your failure just like your success. Eventually you have to change your bait, and find another spot to fish.

The trophy fish require the most effort to get. They are the farthest out and in the deepest waters and require the most experience. They require bigger and better equipment to catch.

 

[Tenacity]

So I wanted to update this journal. After MUCH thought, self-reflection, etc.....I'm come to terms with my actual "issues" and decided on a path going forward.

- In a nutshell, my main issue has been the fact that I've had way too high of expectations. I've always been looking for the GIRL in my head to appear in front of me, when in reality, she doesn't exist. Since 2010 (when I became attractive), I've had a ton of women (attractive and somewhat attractive) in relation to dating, sex, and short term relationships but because they were not the GIRL in my head....I would push them away.

- I've come to the conclusion that the GIRL in my head is a cartoon, she doesn't exist.

- Thus, I'm going to settle in with the girls I've been getting and deal with the ones that I can enjoy their company the best as well as POTENTIALLY formulate something long term if it comes to that point.

- With this being said, the women I entertain going forward will be the following:

* At least solid in looks, which is HB5/HB6, this is a girl that's at least "cute". This is very important, I can't sacrifice this.

* She can have a kid or two, but I have to be able to work with the baby daddy if he's still around. I can't have her Ray Ray and Pookie baby daddy threatening my life every 5 seconds.

* Her finances can range, which means she can have bad finances. I'm just going to set the stage at the very beginning (which I have been doing anyway) that I'm NOT helping out with any car notes, rent payments, or personal expenses UNTIL we are at least deep into a serious relationship.

* She can be high maintenance.....as long as she's moving forward, fvcking me, available for me, etc.

I've come to terms that the chick I was looking for before, who was solid in looks, good finances, no kids, and not high maintenance, was just a cartoon. The reality is there is no chick that exist like that or if she exists, there's SOMETHING else wrong with her that I haven't listed yet (such as she might be bat crazy).

Where Do I Go From Here?

Where do I go from here? Well, I go into spinning the plates of the women I listed above and if I find one that I want to do something serious or legal with....I might look at creating a kid or two within the next 10 years. I don't think I will do the marriage contract thing because the system is so inefficient, but who knows, maybe that will change as I get older and if my attorney can make the entire situation iron clad.

 

[Tenacity]

Not bad, I would not compromise on the kid though

I was gonna leave those women out, but I can't lol. The reason being is that FAR too many of the HB7 and higher chicks (the really attractive chicks) I get have 1 kid already.

Now if I come to the point of marrying a chick or getting into a serious LTR, she can't have more than 1 kid for that. But I will entertain chicks with multiple kids for now to continue dating, fvcking, and doing short term relations like I have before.

 

[Tenacity]

Oh ok, I thought this was for LTRs to get you some LTR experience

Yeah what I'm going to do is the following:

- Only limit the plates to the women that fit the new criteria

- From that plate pool, I will select an LTR if it "makes sense". For any LTR or serious relationships, she can't have more than 1 kid. If I get married, I prefer there be no kids there or if there's a kid there, the kid is nearly an adult.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Yeah what I'm going to do is the following:

- Only limit the plates to the women that fit the new criteria

- From that plate pool, I will select an LTR if it "makes sense". For any LTR or serious relationships, she can't have more than 1 kid. If I get married, I prefer there be no kids there or if there's a kid there, the kid is nearly an adult.

You got a good plan man.

Now do another rant about how these black women can't resist a convicted THUG named Ray Ray who went away for 5 years after shooting Pookie.

 

[Tenacity]

You got a good plan man.

Now do another rant about how these black women can't resist a convicted THUG named Ray Ray who went away for 5 years after shooting Pookie.

- You mean a rant along the lines of how a black woman will have 5 kids.......by 5 different thugs.... who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons.......and who are also behind on their 5 monthly child support checks?

- You mean a rant along the lines of how black folks shout black lives matter when Zimmerman kills Trayvon ....but when Ray Ray does Mortal Kombat on Pookie, killing Pookie in daylight cold blood....those same black folks turn to an ostrich, put their head in the sand, and repeat proclamations of how they "didn't see shyt"?

Lol, nahhh we should save these rants for another day!

 

[BlueAlpha1]

- You mean a rant along the lines of how a black woman will have 5 kids.......by 5 different thugs.... who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons.......and who are also behind on their 5 monthly child support checks?

- You mean a rant along the lines of how black folks shout black lives matter when Zimmerman kills Trayvon ....but when Ray Ray does Mortal Kombat on Pookie, killing Pookie in daylight cold blood....those same black folks turn to an ostrich, put their head in the sand, and repeat proclamations of how they "didn't see shyt"?

Lol, nahhh we should save these rants for another day!

Please, I could go on for hours about "virtue signaling" cowards white people who will do or say anything to appear "not racist", who are actually unintentionally racist through the soft bigotry of low expectations.

And for the record, I would vote for murderer Ray Ray or Pookie's corpse over lying, crooked, unstable, condescendingly racist Shillary Clinton.

But yes, save these rants for another thread indeed. I just needed a laugh.

 

[Tenacity]

I wanted to bump this thread. Not sure if this thing is 25 pages now or what lol?

I'm happy about the journey I took since coming here. When I came here I was dealing with all sorts of internal anger, bittnerness and rage issues that were built up from my childhood to issues with women from earlier on. I was on the entire extreme Red Pill/Let's All Bash Women "kick"....which honestly just made the issues I had WORSE, not better.

But I have since gotten back into prayer, surrounded myself with more positive people (who are non business and non dating based) and it's all been helping. I am feeling much better on the inside. Much happier, more at peace, less angry, etc.


Reducing Sosuave Participation

I really WILL NOT be posting around here that often going forward. I might peek in from time to time, but I don't want the negativity and one-dimensional aspects of this place to hurt the internal growth I've had in relation to my peace/lack of anger issues.

The one-dimensional Alpha or Beta "characters", the one-dimensional Red or Blue pill theories, the women are all this or that theories, it just makes guys having issues coming from a bad environment WORSE, not better. But then to add to the fact that all of this stuff is being said by supposedly GROWN a.ss men who would never in a million years say any of this shyt to another man's face (calling him a beta fag.got) or to a woman's face (calling her a slvt/h0e) is what REALLY baffles me.

I have questioned why I was one of the few guys not anonymous on here, because the Tenacity you see here is the Tenacity you will see at a bar, a club, a lounge, anywhere. What I say on here is what I say to people in PERSON. I don't have anything to hide and I don't cower behind hidden internet profiles.

So it just dawned on me that this (Sosuave/Manosphere) is just not a place I need to be going forward if I want to KEEP the growth I've had all this time. My life is finally coming to where it's well balanced all around, I'm getting to that self-actualization stage in relation to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.


Shout Out To Aaron Clarey

The absolute BEST person I found on the Manosphere was Aaron Clarey. The BEST. Number one, he's not hiding behind any internet profiles and number two, he's BALANCED. He states that the market is destroyed where only 1 out of 100 women are marriage material, but he doesn't operate with one-dimensional theories and he TOO has called out the anonymous, hidden, fake MGTOW posters. Come to think of it, I have NEVER seen a MGTOW that wasn't hidden/anonymous. Never seen it.


Shout Out To All Who Helped

I met some great people here and I want to thank all of those for their contributions to my growth. I might stop back from time to time, but for now..........I'm mainly going to continue my life and not post as often here as I used to.

 

[hithard]

Ten... you talked a lot of $hite and basically ended up doing what everyone told you to do all those years ago. Even now you are laying the boot into the very foundations that brought you to where you are.
I doubt anywhere else would have preped you to where you needed to be.

But the best thing you and everyone else should do is get off this site and dont read it, or post everyday.
Goodluck and keep moving forward

 

[Morpheus]

Thanks for the Aaron Clarey reference. It's immediately apparent that he's had a considerable influence on your views. It's good to get to see this further background to your standpoint that you've spent a lot of thought and time arguing for.

Good luck!

 

[Tenacity]

Ten... you talked a lot of $hite and basically ended up doing what everyone told you to do all those years ago. Even now you are laying the boot into the very foundations that brought you to where you are.
I doubt anywhere else would have preped you to where you needed to be.

But the best thing you and everyone else should do is get off this site and dont read it, or post everyday.
Goodluck and keep moving forward

Yeah I understand, but when I came here I was just dealing with a LOT of internal anger issues man. Over time, those anger issues have decreased.

I have always wondered why "The Manosphere" wasn't this online frat of guys who network with each other, and instead is just this hidden, secret, anonymous place where men post at under random usernames.

And I'm starting to see that the reason the Manosphere isn't this online frat of guys who network with each other, is because the Manosphere seems to just be a place to RANT. It's a place where guys go who are angry, pissed off, bitter, etc., over shyt women have done to them and they come here to talk shyt.

That's all I'm seeing this as right now. It's why I'm the only guy (other than Ruler) who has a picture on here give or take, it's because these guys are only here to TALK SHYT about women, RANT, or create some cartoon character lifestyle of being ALPHA when they know god damn well they aren't living said lifestyle in real life.

I will still post here from time to time, but the Manosphere is a toxic place for a man to be.

 

[hithard]

I will still post here from time to time, but the Manosphere is a toxic place for a man to be.

This is exactly true.
The big problem in the manosphere is the bitterness. I knew it was going to infect your thinking early on and mentioned it. I also knew that you would infect the next lot and slow their progress.
As soon as I saw the above post I was relieved. The reality is: that the longest you need to stay on these forums(after arriving with a problem) is 2-3 months. Anything longer then that and you are avoiding reality, depressed or wasting time. It's ok to shoot the breeze. But it's easy to get stuck.
Reading too much here does more damage then good. Coming here once in a while, will keep you grounded.

When you found a social circle full of good people and took focus off of women. That's the point you needed to step away from theorizing on here, to getting on with life. I was always pi$$ed you were wasting time.

Just a word of caution:
You are the exact candidate that bpd and crazies go for. And guaranteed they will come for you soon to test you. So keep an eye out.
Goodluck

 

[hithard]

I don't like any type of social media, posting information or playing "long distance friends".
PUA's in Australia were raped by the media and their pictures and online posts exposed. Their jobs and businesses suffered.
I think you are crazy to put a picture up. Stuff on the net stays on the net.

 

[BeExcellent]

Good luck @Tenacity.

If I ever get up your way drinks are on me.

Keep going, keep growing!!

Cheers, -BE