I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[hithard]

Fat biatches and broke women are not the whole "market". You telling me every woman in NY city is fat and broke?
You are targeting a certain part of the market for whatever reason and saying it's the whole market.
A lot of the guys you mentioned just got bitter from being burnt or not being prepared or trying to take low quality and make it fit into the wrong category. Or they just hit a rut.
Sometimes I get hot but low quality women. I don't try and LTR them. I know what they are and don't try and make them fit or turn them into something they are not. Everyone is a lot happier.
You are trying to fit with the wrong women. I will say that the market is changing a lot. Learn to adapt.
Your inner game and past issues with women need to be dealt with. You also have a need for confirmation bias and validation from other guys in a similar position.
When I want money advice I ain't going to the guy on food stamps and taking the bus.

 

[hithard]

The money and working out has always only been a small part of the package. Guys always think if they do those two things women will flock. Those two things help, that's it. I out game the guys with the private yacht and multiple ferraris. Or the guys with the better bodies. The town I'm working, everyone seems better looking and of higher net worth. It's a pain but it's not something that would ever stop me

 

[BeTheChange]

Dude, this is YOUR problem. You could EASILY disqualify these girls within ONE MINUTE. And walk away. But you do not.

THAT is what you need to figure out. Your blaming "the market" is a convenient lie you tell yourself to avoid the REAL ISSUE.

Why do you CHOOSE to not disqualify low quality woman?

I'll tell you how to fix your problem, right here, right now. But I KNOW you'll con yourself into thinking it's not really THAT, it's something else. So what you're about to read isn't really directed at you, (since I KNOW you won't take this advice) but here it is.

DISQUALIFY women you KNOW give you problems.

Set higher standards. ONLY NUMBER CLOSE girls you that pass your standards.

What's that I hear? You can ONLY get laid with fat broke chicks?

That is YOUR PROBLEM.

That is NOT the problem of FAT BROKE CHICKS.

Don't blame broke fat crazy chicks because they are the only ones willing to touch your wee wee.

Blame YOU.

It's not the market, it's YOU.

Start going after HIGH QUALITY women.

GET BETTER at disqualifying low quality women.

You think you have skills, but you don't. Getting laid with fat broke crazy chicks who need metro pass money does not an alpha make.

YOUR GAME SUCKS.

Get it?

Work on THAT.

You are angry because you have convinced yourself that your game is TIGHT. But you still only get Jerry Springer rejects.

What happens when you admit that YOUR GAME SUCKS?

And go from there?

You think when it comes to game, YOU HAVE ARRIVED. That's why you EXPECT high quality women, but only get low quality land whales on crack.

But when you ADMIT your game sucks, and start to IMPROVE it, slowly, but surely, your anger will dissipate. Because you will have gained CONTROL.

But you don't want to do that. It's easier to throw temper tantrums and blame the world.

THE PROBLEM IS YOU.

Get it?

Now that you've read this far, you may return to your regularly scheduled cognitive dissonance.

P.S. Don't bother quoting this line by line and telling me in explicit detail why I'm wrong and why it REALLY ISN'T your fault.

Take it, or leave it.

QFT. Some people are just lost causes.

 

[Sprayarc]

So do I man, I can relate. What's helped me and what I think is a solution for you is to not take life so seriously. Accept that nothing lasts forever and this includes how you feel about something. Sure it's easier said than done but all you can do is change they way you are by changing your perspective.

There is no quick and easy way to resolve this long-term.

If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it live with it, if you can't live with it leave.

 

[Tenacity]

Fat biatches and broke women are not the whole "market". You telling me every woman in NY city is fat and broke?

That's not my entire quote, you have to take the entire quote:

Every single chick I get, there's always a major fvcking problem with her. Either she has weight issues to the point of when she's naked I get turned off, or the bytch is a gold-digger and constantly tries to get me to give her money, or the chick has financial issues which means she has to ask me to help pay her $30 Metro PCS bill, or the chick is just flat out fickle as hell and you don't know if she's going OR coming.

Some women are fat, some are broke, some are gold-diggers, and some are NEITHER but just have a very fickle personality. I didn't just state that I only pulled fat and broke women.

A lot of the guys you mentioned just got bitter from being burnt or not being prepared or trying to take low quality and make it fit into the wrong category. Or they just hit a rut.

So all of these guys that I mentioned are just either bitter, unprepared or trying to turn a low quality chick into a higher quality one? Is there a possibility, just a SMALL possibility that the market just might be fvcked up in general? Is that a possibility or is that just totally off the table? In other words what I'm saying is, could you be the guy that's efficient in Looks, Personality and Finances but STILL have a hard time finding a woman of decent quality?

Your inner game and past issues with women need to be dealt with. You also have a need for confirmation bias and validation from other guys in a similar position.
When I want money advice I ain't going to the guy on food stamps and taking the bus.

I have trust issues and I have displayed that, but I don't see how that is translating to the market quality of women I'm pulling in general. Can you explain how my trust issues are translating to pulling these women who are either fat, broke, gold-digger or fickle?

I'm not bringing up other guys for confirmation bias, I'm pointing out that if myself and all of these other guys from across the damn country are reporting the same issues in terms of market quality, how can this be an isolated incident that revolves strictly around my "gaming" issues? Not to say I might not need to increase the gaming aspects, but I'm wondering why you and T.O. have TOTALLY taken the possibility of the market just being fvcked up in general off the table?

The next question I would like to know, is where in the hell are the quality women at hithard? Why is it that I rarely even KNOW of a guy with a quality chick? Do you know of any? Can you name 10 guys off the top of your head with chicks of some high quality? If the answer is YES, where did they meet these women?

I don't act like a bytch around women, I have a backbone, I control the frame to the point of where it becomes uncontrollable and I back out, I don't have an issue going up and sparking a conversation with a woman or ANYBODY, so I'm honestly not sure where my inner game is failing at other than the trust issues? Can you tell me some aspects of my inner game that might be failing? Can I not have a lack of trust for a woman and still be able to turn her on/attract her? I've been doing it consistently for years now and my trust issues have been here for AWHILE.

So hithard if you and T.O. could provide some more details, that would be great. Also you bought up MGTOW earlier, what does MGTOW have to do with this?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Man, really, lots of girl are fuked up, but I see through the posts of many guys here that in the USA they are extremly fuked up, like your country is too deep into degeneracy. So really, take the advice about traveling. They will be probably ****ty, but not as much!

 

[Tenacity]

The money and working out has always only been a small part of the package. Guys always think if they do those two things women will flock. Those two things help, that's it. I out game the guys with the private yacht and multiple ferraris. Or the guys with the better bodies. The town I'm working, everyone seems better looking and of higher net worth. It's a pain but it's not something that would ever stop me

Again, if you could elaborate on these "gaming" tactics you are using to pull women of high quality, I'm sure myself and even others reading would like to know.

I mean buddy if you are telling me that you are taking chicks from guys in the 1% because your "swag and game" is on "100 million", then my friend I damn sure would love to know how you pull this off.

 

[ERB]

You won't find the guys on this board that pull "quality" women here complaining. Just the ones either that can't pull quality or the ones stuck in a low quality market.

 

[hithard]

That's not my entire quote, you have to take the entire quote:

Every single chick I get, there's always a major fvcking problem with her. Either she has weight issues to the point of when she's naked I get turned off, or the bytch is a gold-digger and constantly tries to get me to give her money, or the chick has financial issues which means she has to ask me to help pay her $30 Metro PCS bill, or the chick is just flat out fickle as hell and you don't know if she's going OR coming.

I have trust issues and I have displayed that, but I don't see how that is translating to the market quality of women I'm pulling in general. Can you explain how my trust issues are translating to pulling these women who are either fat, broke, gold-digger or fickle?

It's you.
It's your attitude.
It's your issues.
Tell me ten what's your social circle like.
What are your good friends like.
The thing I noticed is you jumped down some chicks throat in Des's thread in a heartbeat.
You don't like the world view you hold to be shaken.
Even now you try and mask away your problems that were obvious when you first came here, and blame everything else.
Money and fitness alone won't fix your problem.

Do I know 10 people that are happy in a LTR over 10, 15, 20 years?
Absolutely way more then 10 and all personal friends.
I also know more than 10 that are miserable in ltrs as well. And it's nothing to do with "the market".

How do I out game the money whales. Because they have the depth of a puddle. And no idea how to take a girl through the right emotions. If you think every woman out there is only interested in money, then you really need to change location.

This "whole market" being bad is a bit like your "50% of marriages end in divorce".
When you actually sit down and crunch the numbers it ain't no where as bad as you think.
Even if you do change location you still bring your issues with you. I get the feeling you don't know how to deal with them at all.
I'm also not sure if such a jaded view can be turned around with an unwilling participant.

I'm not getting back in this endless loop again with you. TO'S advice hit the mark in its simplicity.

 

[hithard]

Again, if you could elaborate on these "gaming" tactics you are using to pull women of high quality, I'm sure myself and even others reading would like to know.

I have. Play to the emotions not flash shiny beads.

 

[Tenacity]

hithard,

I still don't know what issues I have other than the trust issues? You said my issues have been CLEAR since day one and I'm waiting for you to tell me what they are? Tell me what you are seeing about me that I'm not seeing here?

Also I don't know why you keep talking about money and fitness, I never said that's all it takes to get a woman. I have preached from day one that it's Looks, Personality and Finances, and you want to be a 6 - 7 in all three.

My personality isn't lacking depth, women quite honestly say it's my Personality that attracts them to me, it's not my "looks" as I don't have very high good looks to begin with. Yes, I'm in shape now, but I don't walk in a room with women and they fall out over my looks, I have to SAY something in relation to displaying my Personality in order to move things forward. My stance is that your looks just need to be efficient to where a girl looks at you and says "he passes" or "he's cute". Then your finances just needs to be to the point where you have your basic shyt together (your own place, car, a stable job/career, money in the bank). The rest of it is your Personality which is being able to carry on a great conversation, lead a girl sexually through your conversation, not be boring, etc.

hithard I also feel that whatever I said during those other discussions hasn't set well with you buddy lol. I'm an easy-going guy, if you want to talk by telephone (you or any of you other guys) I'm always down. I don't know why we are so "hidden" on this forum anyway.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Well, there's a way to figure this out based on facts. Going back to the sales example, if the market wasn't weak, then the majority of other sales reps would be hitting it out of the park with their market and products being sold, then there would be a "certain few" reps who weren't hardly doing shyt. IF that's the case, the argument could be that the market isn't weak, the sales reps are.

Agreed?

No, not agreed. Every sales team falls into the 80/20 rule regardless of the market. And that top 20 percent also falls within the 80/20; the top 4% get 64% of the sales. Game is no different. The top FEW guys get their pick of the women. DNA evidence confirms this.

Where are these quality women at that you say my game is too weak and not strong enough to attract AND can you name me a wide range of examples of other guys who have strong game who have these quality women RIGHT NOW?

Ahh, the old "prove that I'm wrong" argument.

Finding a "quality woman" is YOUR JOB. Not ours. That there isn't a secret place where these mythical "quality women" hang out. It is based on YOUR criteria.

Here's a breakdown of how it works.

1) You interact with a bunch of women

2) You determine your own subjective criteria of a "quality woman"

3) You try to elicit those qualities from any particular woman AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

4) You ditch her if she doesn't qualify, keep her if she does

5) You repeat, starting with step one

EVERY TIME you go through the process you SHOULD get better.

Better at qualifying.

Better at creating attraction, which will increase your ability to pull better women. It is an ONGOING PROCESS. It is a LIFELONG Process.

Nobody can "tell you" how to do this.

Nobody can "show you" where these secret high quality women are hiding.

You're not baking a cake where you can copy somebody else and get the same results.

HERE'S THE HARSH TRUTH:

Some people (most people) will ALWAYS suck at this. It's like sports, or music. You can practice your whole life and still suck.

You're asking "what should I do, where should I GO go get these high quality women" is like somebody that sucks at playing the violin demanding that somebody "show them how to play correctly."

Learning how to "play" the "get girls" game takes a LIFETIME of practice.

If you're NOT a natural, it will take a LONG TIME to become a natural.

Hithard is 47

You are 32.

Are you willing to put in FIFTEEN YEARS of practice to achieve his level of game?

Or do you think male-female interaction, possibly the most COMPLICATED HUMAN SKILL on earth is something YOU shouldn't have to work at?

No? You demand perfection NOW? You are NOT WILLING to put in YEARS of trial and effort WORK?

You think because you lost a couple of pounds you DESERVE awesome puzzy?

You think because you have a couple of college degrees you DESERVE awesome puzzy?

You think because you're NOT bankrupt you DESERVE awesome puzzy?

Or do you think Hithard knows some secret tricks he can TEACH YOU OVER THE INTERNET?

Get over yourself.

 

[Die Hard]

The market IS weak, Ten. So it's VERY HARD to be succesful. That's reality.

Now you can do 2 things:

1. Give up and blame the market.
2. Keep improving and keep trying until finally you are succesful even in this weak market.

It's a basic choice, make your decision. But trust me, option 1 will not make you happy. You should go for option 2, it will make you happy or at least you'll die trying!

It's like The Walking Dead. You see a lot of characters in that show who have "given up" on life. People they love keep getting killed, everytime they seem to find some peace or happiness it gets taken away... So they give up. Other character's keep fighting and struggling, they try to find happiness where they can and try to accept the fact that it can be taken away from them at any moment. They try to love other people and try to accept the fact that those people can be taken away from them at any moment.

They live in a world which seems not worth living in, if you ask most people, they'd say such a life is pointless and futile. In other words, the market in which they operate SUCKS LIKE HELL. But still, they try to make the best of it and find the POSITIVE within such a big pile of NEGATIVES.

Don't give up, Ten. Keep moving forward, inch by inch, step by step, until your last breath...

 

[ubercat]

Thx DH great vid - came at an opportune time.
Had my ex round yesterday, defused her issues Look s like we ll b friends. Exhausting

Then the chick who asked for my number and I exchanged couple of short texts with bounced my phone call like I was stalking her - wtf?

So I know how Ten feels. however there is no alternative no matter how hard work they are.

Going to go lift, shake it off and off to a group dinner tonight - that which does not kill you.

 

[Tenacity]

No, not agreed. Every sales team falls into the 80/20 rule regardless of the market. And that top 20 percent also falls within the 80/20; the top 4% get 64% of the sales. Game is no different. The top FEW guys get their pick of the women. DNA evidence confirms this..

The sales aspect isn't 100% true T.O. with the 80/20 rule, it depends on a variety of factors including market competitive advantages. But a bad market or a bad territory or bad (old) leads, will be a disaster for ANY sales rep.

But let's go back to the focus of our discussion.......

Ahh, the old "prove that I'm wrong" argument.

Finding a "quality woman" is YOUR JOB. Not ours. That there isn't a secret place where these mythical "quality women" hang out. It is based on YOUR criteria.

First off, I wasn't trying to "prove you wrong", just trying to get you to elaborate on your comments. But you are losing me my friend because, you are speaking out of two sides of your mouth.

- One minute you are making the case that only TOP TIER guys get TOP TIER girls, based on marketplace supply/demand and conditions. Thus, you made the case that my game/inner game was off and I needed to fix it in order to attract the high quality women, as just having "muscles" and "money" isn't enough (when I never said they were, not sure why you and hithard keep repeating that strawman).

- So when I ask you do you know of places where these high quality women might be, such as foreign women, etc., you respond saying that there's no actual place these high quality women are at, as I AM THE ONE that creates the criterion for what a high quality woman is, NOT the marketplace? What?? So the standing of quality women isn't based on the supply/demand along with other conditions in the market, it's based on some random variables that an individual guy randomly creates? So if a guy said a fat, broke, gold-digging chick was high quality, that makes her high quality? Is that what you are saying?

I'm not trying to come off like an a-hole here, but you and hithard began by making the case that I have these issues in relation to "game", and I'm trying to figure out what they ARE because, if you guys are seeing something that I don't see....then fvcking tell me. Hell, I created this thread to seek assistance, don't just get up here and say, "Tenacity, your problem is you have issues brother!" Then I say, "Okay, tell me what type of issues are you noticing?" Then you say, "Welp, that's for you to figure out!"

WTF?

 

[hithard]

Ten I actually really like you and what you have achieved. I agree with 80% of the stuff you post. It's just frustrating watching a guy that can do a lot better having trouble.

Quality women. What's your definition?
I have a list of things roughly in my head a woman has to accept about me. If she can't handle it then I know there will be future problems. The only real thing I need from a woman is to be able to trust them around other guys and have their life and mental state together. That's it. But I test through their actions if they are a keeper.
I also know my issues and do my best to keep them in check.

My personal view on you is that you have a very ingrained bitterness towards women. It's pretty common.
If I was in your position I would try and establish friendships with women first (not being used by women, keep an equal footing not a power struggle) without wanting anything more than that.
Hopefully you learn about them a little more in depth. You need to start off with building relationships and get a better feel for them. You need to be successful at the base level first.

I totally get everything you are saying about women in general. Yes there are biatches out there. Heaps. But it's not the whole market.


How do I meet women:
I look for body language day to day.
Use social circles.
I rarely just drop a plate without ljbf her ass.
I treat every woman as a doorway to a larger circle of women. I should rename my diick SARS because as soon as one girl catches it, there's a good chance she's giving it to her friends too.
I do pickup with friends.
I meet other guys that take me into social circles.
I'm also an introvert. I need to recharge away from everyone after being surrounded by people for to long.
All of this stuff takes time. I read one thread where the guy was going to set a chair up at the train station with a sign "date while you wait". There's a million ideas to meet. And if it isn't going to work out and you can convert them to friends then that tap stays on.
Will you meet quality women doing this? You would be surprised. A girls sister I knew was a 26 yo virgin and extremely good looking. But she was a raging introvert. Some lucky guy picked her up on the train through persistence. Married 13 years now. Everyone was too scared to talk to her and she was too shy too approach, continue a conversation or call back. There's always all types out there.

Sorry for the rambling post but I'm typing this from a phone, so it's hard to keep track.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Fine, we'll keep it simple. One simple question at a time.

What are YOUR definitions of a HIGH QUALITY WOMAN?

Please be as OBJECTIVE as possible.

If I was out walking down the street, and I only had TEN MINUTES to interact with her, how would I know I was talking to Tenacity's version of a high quality woman?

Please tell us, so we can help you find her.

 

[hithard]

I'm not sure he needs a break from women. Maybe a break from the type of women he is finding now. He has spent enough time stuffing around. He hasn't gotten anywhere in a year.
He needs to work on his social side and stay in the mix. Even if it means just meet and befriend.

Here's another simple question.
How many good friends do you have or have had in the past.

 

[Tenacity]

Quality women. What's your definition?
I have a list of things roughly in my head a woman has to accept about me. If she can't handle it then I know there will be future problems. The only real thing I need from a woman is to be able to trust them around other guys and have their life and mental state together. That's it. But I test through their actions if they are a keeper.

Well, to be honest most of the girls I have been dating fits these standards. Maybe I'm being too picky in this regard then? I honestly haven't had a problem with a chick cheating on me, it's just that there's characteristics about her like maybe her weight, or financial status, or having kids, or being fickle in certain ways that just annoy me.

My personal view on you is that you have a very ingrained bitterness towards women. It's pretty common.

Yes, this is 100% true as I explained because when I was a "AFC" in high school and early college, I honestly didn't think the women had to TREAT ME as bad as they did. I understand that I wasn't "attractive" back then, but damn, the shyt that they did to me wasn't called for. Now today (today as in within the last couple of years) that I have gained attraction and have no issues getting women in general, it's like I want to in a way PAY THEM BACK for the shyt they put me through during the AFC days.

Plus, just the concept of a chick dating a fvcking criminal doesn't sit right with me, I don't give a damn about whatever supposed "swag" the piece of shyt is supposed to have or had. In the black community, criminals are fvcking worshipped by black women UNTIL they get in their late 20's/early 30's and decide they now want a "Tenacity" or a "Obama" type of black man with degrees and his "shyt" together. But what about all of the fvcking damage you just did to black men over the last decade chick? They don't think about that shyt. To be honest, a lot of black men like me end up with white women to be honest with you, BASED ON this very situation I'm describing.

Here's another simple question.
How many good friends do you have or have had in the past.

The vast majority of my GOOD guy friends have come from business related circles, such as guys I worked with/work with right now. I have had VERY FEW good guy friends outside of that over the years, I would say maybe 3 outside of the business circle. The vast majority of guys I find outside of business circles, are MORE untrustworthy than damn women are.

Today, my social circle consists mainly of women to be honest with you. Women I'm spinning on plates. Then the rest of it is filled up with guys I work with in business circles. I honestly do not have any guy friends right now that are non-business related relationships.

 

[Tenacity]

Fine, we'll keep it simple. One simple question at a time.

What are YOUR definitions of a HIGH QUALITY WOMAN?

Please be as OBJECTIVE as possible.

If I was out walking down the street, and I only had TEN MINUTES to interact with her, how would I know I was talking to Tenacity's version of a high quality woman?

Please tell us, so we can help you find her.

Yes, see the steps you listed out earlier is what I've been doing over the last couple of years. Where I've already been out there dating/meeting/fvcking a ton of women to determine a criteria that I'm looking for in terms of "quality".

So that criteria is:

- Looks are at least a "7 plus". Now, to be honest, I do prefer black women, so to give you an example of what a "7 plus" would look like in terms of black female celebrities, we are talking Paula Patton, Gabrielle Union, Ashanti, Joy Bryant, obviously a Beyonce, Kelly Rowland, and there's this chick called Hoopz who was on a Flavor of Love dating show about ten years ago that I honestly believe is the sexiest woman I have ever seen. Here's her right here:

- No Kids, or she can have 1 kid but the kid MUST be by a guy like "me". What do I mean? It's basically a guy with this shyt together, college educated, etc., NOT a god damn thug, criminal, deadbeat, or something like that.

- Her finances needs to be together where she's either making as much as me or not that far from it. If I'm going to do something "serious/legal" with a chick like make a kid, I can't do that with a chick with bad finances as if she puts me on child support I'm screwed in terms of the proportion of support I would have to pay due to making significantly more than her. Now, because she's a woman, with this requirement should include her having some sort of degree as usually it will be hard for a woman to get to this level of financial stability without one.

- Loving and loyal. This is basically where she displays high interest, she's my real friend, she's caring and loyal.

That's basically IT. I can deal with the other shyt like maybe if she's a little "weird or crazy" lol, shyt I'm weird and crazy, so I can deal with that. These are the pillars that I need in ONE WOMAN to make a serious, long term relationship work that might involve the creation of children (marriage for the most part is still off the table for me unless I can get the legal side 100% ironed out).

The women I get usually have some of these qualities, but I can't meet ONE WOMAN with all of them. The women I get usually manifest in the following ways:

- Chick A: Her looks are a 4, which usually is related to her having weight problems. But she has everything else in terms of efficient finances, no kids or no more than 1 kid, she's loving, loyal and with high interest. I usually TRY to motivate the chick to bring the weight down but they aren't motivated enough to stay committed to the program.

- Chick B: Her looks are usually either a 6 plus, which is fine ENOUGH. She's loving, loyal and with high interest, so she's good there. But her finances are usually fvcked up and she might have more than 1 kid.

- Chick C: Her looks range between 5 - 6, which isn't a 7 but I could let it SLIDE. Her finances are good and she usually has no kids or no more than 1 kid. But she's fickle as HELL. She loves me Monday, hates me Tuesday, loves me Thursday, hates me again on Saturday. Her interest isn't consistent.

- Chick D: This is usually the FINEST chick I pull, the solid 7 pluses usually fall here, but that's about it in terms of her meeting the criteria. She might have financial problems and too many kids, but on top of this she displays what comes off as gold-digging behavior by asking me for money using the line of, "Tenacity we are dating/fvcking/you are my man, so why can't you pay for X, Y, and Z?"

This has been going on since March 2010, I track this because March of 2010 is when I fixed my looks, personality and finances and really started to get women. The "abs thing" is new as of last year, but you don't need "abs" to pull chicks, you just need to be "cute" in terms of looks.

I haven't kept track of all of the girls I've dated/fvcked/had relationships with since March 2010, but I know it's got to be around 75 women. And all of them have fallen in one of the four types of Chicks (A - D) that I lined out.