I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[ProDJ26]

^^^^^^
Listen to this

I know exactly how you feel Tenacity and I'm from the same area. I will tell you though from my experience the more money and shape I was in has definitely attracted different kinds of women. And I know exactly what you mean by some of the ignorance with our black community but maybe it's a culture thing

 

[Tenacity]

I wanted to update this thread. Well, a couple of updates:

- I'm pretty much over my "just wanna get laid" stage where I end up dealing with women that I don't really want to be with long term, but just want to fvck.

- I've been zoning in on only dealing with women that fit my criteria in terms of the type of woman I really want to be with.

- I have a couple I'm speaking with right now that fit this . Not in a committed relationship with any of them yet, just still doing the dating stuff, but I'll keep you guys posted. I'm also still on the market bringing in more prospects who are likely to fit my criteria and see where it goes.

- I also want to go back to being the old positive, happy, upbeat guy I was when I was working in church ministry for about 5 years from age 16 - 21. Yes, I was still technically a young kid during that time, but even though I was broke, not really getting laid, no money, no job prospects...I was the HAPPIEST during that time period than any other time of my life if we are going based on pure internal peace/joy.

- I want to go back to this and I think a way to do that, is to finally do what TicTac said, and that's just let go. I have passion for certain things in life but then there are certain things I'm not going to change. The black community will be what it is. Liberals will be how they are. Women will be how they are. People in general will be how they are. I got into this phase of wanting to change the world....and I believe all I've become in the process is AN OVERLY critical and negative person.

Based on every account, this ought to be the HAPPIEST time of my life right now. I physically look the best I've ever looked, I'm dating/fvcking more women today than ever before (ranging from HB5's to HB8's), I stay in a nice apartment in the suburbs, I'm done with college (an MBA and 4 degrees), doing well in my career, great net worth, and drive a new Camaro.

I should be HAPPY as hell right now, but I'm not because I believe I'm focusing way too much on other shyt that I have no control over, such as changing "people". Truly, the only person I can change is myself.....and I want to start by going back to having that internal peace/joy that I had from age 16 - 21. Once I do that, in combination with everything else I have going on, I think I would have achieved self-actualization like Abraham Maslow talked about.

 

[Tenacity]

Right now, I need to adapt the Serenity Prayer. Which is to be able to accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

- I've been going off on women about thugs, when I have no control over who the hell a woman dates. ALL I can control is the type of woman I decide to deal with, which is why I'm only focusing on women that I want to really be with now....which are mainly women who do not have any kids whatsoever and surely no kids by any thugs.

- I've been going off on the black community and the thug worship shyt, when I have no control over that shyt. I've honestly been gone from the black community for years, I stay in an area (Clinton Township, MI) that's 90% white, 5.4% other, and only 4.6% black, less than 5% of black people are even in my area. The only thing I can do is stay around and live around people who share my character traits, which are going to be mostly other white people and upper class black people.

- I've been going off on the Fed, the Global NWO, Far Left Liberals, Feminism, and all of the rest. When the reality is, that shyt isn't going anywhere. All I can do is continue to network, keep my skills in demand, and invest wisely. Also in terms of the women, again, choose the types of women that align with my views and character traits.

I can't change the world......I drove myself to be a miserable, angry WRECK by believing I could. I'm working on accepting the Serenity Prayer.

 

[Reyaj]

Right now, I need to adapt the Serenity Prayer. Which is to be able to accept the things I cannot change, have courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

- I've been going off on women about thugs, when I have no control over who the hell a woman dates. ALL I can control is the type of woman I decide to deal with, which is why I'm only focusing on women that I want to really be with now....which are mainly women who do not have any kids whatsoever and surely no kids by any thugs.

- I've been going off on the black community and the thug worship shyt, when I have no control over that shyt. I've honestly been gone from the black community for years, I stay in an area (Clinton Township, MI) that's 90% white, 5.4% other, and only 4.6% black, less than 5% of black people are even in my area. The only thing I can do is stay around and live around people who share my character traits, which are going to be mostly other white people and upper class black people.

- I've been going off on the Fed, the Global NWO, Far Left Liberals, Feminism, and all of the rest. When the reality is, that shyt isn't going anywhere. All I can do is continue to network, keep my skills in demand, and invest wisely. Also in terms of the women, again, choose the types of women that align with my views and character traits.

I can't change the world......I drove myself to be a miserable, angry WRECK by believing I could. I'm working on accepting the Serenity Prayer.

You ever sarge in Troy dude? I used to have this long distance thing with this hot girl that lived in Clinton Twp and she told me Troy was where the night life is at. Hell I'd go out there and sarge with you sometime.

 

[LiveYourDream]

You popped in my head on Sunday morning to pass along a question for you to ponder. Who would Tenacity be if you were not fighting against anything? I held back from posting it here and reviving this thread..

If for a moment or a minute or 5 minutes or more, you were just Tenacity right there, but within you, you did not have to/or weren't fighting against something, what would that feel like? Who would Tenacity be without it? How would you experience life, without that constant feeling of against something? I am not asking you to answer these here. They are for you inside yourself to ponder. Just drop all againstness for a moment and what does it feel like? Who do you become? What potentials open up? There is so much freed up energy what are you inclined to do with it? What do you want to enjoy more of, that maybe you have never explored? How free does it feel not to be against? Who would you be?

When I read your posts here last night, I smiled really big. I am happy to read that you are finding your way. I truly believe the best is still yet to come for you. As much as you can stay focused on what you enjoy and what you want more of in your life. Stay true to you. I wish you all the best. I keep imagining you with with a woman you love, adore and respect and a child and happy. It's not always been that way, but lately that's what I see when I think of Tenacity. I am laughing because this would be one of those girly flowery posts I think you call them. I don't care, it's just what is in my heart. Focus on what you want more of and enjoy the rewards. I am happy for you.

P.S. *For your mind, that perhaps is riled up by the idea, and wants to immediately engage an argument about how it is important to fight for what is right and against things that are unjust. I acknowledge that perspective and the place it holds. I am not asking/suggesting you to become passive. I am just asking you to suspend the againstness you feel, within you, for a moment or two or three. For your mind, that doesn't mean you support all that is occurring that you were formerly against. It doesn't mean that all. Just a moment, two or more, drop the againstness and just feel what it is like to be Tenacity. One last thought, on a different note, notice when the urge to get riled up against something occurs in your day or your life. Especially notice, when (maybe) part of you (might) have the urge to seek out something to debate or be riled up against. I am not saying it's bad. I am just suggesting you take notice of what you are up to and what's going on for you, and inside you, when/if that urge/inclination arises.

Not sure where all that suddenly came from. It's well intended, I know that.

 

[Amilz]

Maybe the problem is you if you have an urge to keep putting yourself into similar situations and expecting different results. If you keep going after the same kind of woman and then you think that you might eventually attack her then maybe you have a more serious issue and what you are doing is the outlet.

 

[Tenacity]

So I wanted to update this thread as yesterday....I had another EPISODE.

Yes, another rage episode, where I would go down the line and cuss out every plate I'm currently talking to. Then, about 60 - 90 minutes later, I would apologize and try to make things right.

I will go over again what's going on here.

- Prior to age 24 - 25, I just wasn't getting consistent dates, pvssy, etc. I prefer black women and most of the time they would reject me very, very, HARD. I'm talking about "drop dead and drink bleach N-word" type of hard. I'm talking "get your Steve Urkel a.ss away from me" type of hard. And while they rejected me, the guys they would accept were guys that represented THUG culture, so either he sold drugs, gang-banged, or was some type of loser in the same context.

- Okay, so around the age of 25 I fix my looks, finally make it to the middle class so I'm now able to live in a Suburb, drive nice cars, and I was starting to rack up degrees as well. Then ALLLLLLLL of a sudden, I would approach a black chick and I wouldn't be told to go drink bleach anymore. I would get a girl's number and she would ACTUALLY go out, date, and fvck. I would start getting one night stands, etc.

- So from about 25 - today, I've been able and are still able to go out and get all types of dates, sex, pvssy, etc., from women. Consistently. No lag times, no off seasons, nothing. I can consistently do this.

But I over the course of time, I have lost a lot of trust for women.

- I still don't feel as of today, even though they now "like me", that they are giving me the same WORSHIP treatment that they gave to thugs back in the day or even to thugs right now.

- I still wonder why my mother and sisters don't communicate with me that often, my mother and sisters also (for the most part) only dated thugs, losers, and deadbeats.

- I still have an issue trusting anything a woman says in relation to dating. The entire thing of "I want a good black man" that black women SAY, but then why are so many black single mothers with kids by Thugs??

I'm going off because I want to SETTLE DOWN. I want to do something real in terms of making a kid, or something, with a black woman. But I don't trust them BECAUSE I don't know if they really like me.....or they are only fvcking/dating me TODAY due to an AGENDA of looking for some sort of financial stability that THUGS can't provide.

If the broke, dusty, criminal, loser, thugs provided the same financial stability that Tenacity provides, would these women be talking to me is the QUESTION???

That's why I'm going off, that's why I'm raging, that's why I'm angry. I'm trying to find some sort of peace in this area, I'm afraid I'm going to snap and kill myself or somebody around me when I go into the episode because when I'm in the episode it's like I'm a completely different person. And it's almost like I can't even control myself.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

lol, damn I thought I had anger problems.

Just last weekend I was arguing with my baby moms. I got pissed and threw and shattered my phone into pieces. Had to go to the store and pay 750$ for a new iPhone.

As far as settling down. Good luck man. These girls ain't shvt. They are brainwashed by media. I mean comon Ten. There are girls out there taking pictures with dog filters in them. That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard and seen in my life.

Me personally, I don't spend no money on chicks. They get a first date and that's it. Unless they are real bad then I might budge though. I've been in Connecticut for one month. Smashed 5 girls in CT so far. I've only taken two girls on dates. Two of them continuously buy me shvt even though I'm on the verge of just straight out blocking them. One was a one night stand, One of them is crazy as cat shvt so I had to block. And the other one is a Puerto Rican shorty I'm seeing.

My motto is new day new face. The next girl is always better then the last one. Last thing I wanna do is kick it with the same chick continuously. That would make me go crazy. Also, I think it's real funny that you like Black girls. I date everything but 100% black girls. I date al ot of mixed girls and Puerto Ricans.

 

[guru1000]

Hehe, Tenacity up to the same ol'.

I'm going off because I want to SETTLE DOWN. I want to do something real in terms of making a kid, or something, with a black woman. But I don't trust them BECAUSE I don't know if they really like me.....or they are only fvcking/dating me TODAY due to an AGENDA of looking for some sort of financial stability that THUGS can't provide.

Good that you are straightforward with your intent, but "settling down" and "fully trusting a significant other" can be mutually exclusive. When I settle down, I trust the other to an extent insofar as if/when the relation dissolves, I don't get fvcked. Keeping your finger on the trigger and being ready to pull doesn't mean you have to pull; it just means you are ready to pull with no (or mitigated) liability if its pulled.

Prior to age 24 - 25, I just wasn't getting consistent dates, pvssy, etc. I prefer black women and most of the time they would reject me very, very, HARD. I'm talking about "drop dead and drink bleach N-word" type of hard. I'm talking "get your Steve Urkel a.ss away from me" type of hard. And while they rejected me, the guys they would accept were guys that represented THUG culture, so either he sold drugs, gang-banged, or was some type of loser in the same context.

- Okay, so around the age of 25 I fix my looks, finally make it to the middle class so I'm now able to live in a Suburb, drive nice cars, and I was starting to rack up degrees as well. Then ALLLLLLLL of a sudden, I would approach a black chick and I wouldn't be told to go drink bleach anymore. I would get a girl's number and she would ACTUALLY go out, date, and fvck. I would start getting one night stands, etc.

There are implicit agendas in all human behavior. Any relation is a business deal of sorts. An exchange of value. When you were an Urkel, you provided no sexual value, hence ...

Are you willing to date 2s? There has to be a certain value provided which makes it worthwhile for you/them to engage. Accept the rules of the marketplace. Nothing to be angry about.

 

[Tenacity]

I just have very bad trust issues with black women.

Listen, I understand that there's a sexual market value out here and I totally get that and SUPPORT that. Basically what that means is that:

- A guy needs to get his looks in order
- A guy needs to get his finances in order
- A guy needs to be able to bring a good personality to the table to be fun, not boring

All of those things I 100% stand by and support. But these were NOT the reasons why I went through hell with black women prior to age 25.

These women were rejecting me because they were WORSHIPPERS of thug culture and I didn't represent nor participate in said culture. That's why I'm pissed off!

Now the chicks turn 25 - 30 and because the THUG has bankrupted them, or they got tired of paying all of the bills, NOW all of a sudden this bytch is SO SPIRITUAL/RELIGIOUS and she's looking to settle down with a Tenacity or a Barack Obama! The same dudes that 3 YEARS AGO she said was corny, talked like he was white, was gay, and who she told to go drink bleach!!

 

[guru1000]

So in the alpha fvcks/beta bucks category, you are feeling like the beta bucks whom women settle for as they approach the wall, while the thugs (in the black community) are the alpha fvcks, correct?

 

[Tenacity]

So in the alpha fvcks/beta bucks category, you are feeling like the beta bucks whom women settle for as they approach the wall, while the thugs (in the black community) are the alpha fvcks, correct?

Hmmm...YES...you could say that.

This isn't the same in the white community as a majority. White women are MASTER gold-diggers. They come out of the GATE looking to date those jocks or those very smart white boys who look like they are going to invent the next big gadget or enterprise.

Other than in the trailor trash areas, you do NOT see white middle class women fvcking BUMS AND LOSERS, then going to date Joey on Wallstreet afterwards. You don't see that shyt!

But in the black community, you see black middle class women fvcking bums, thugs, and criminals....then going to date Carlton, a Personal Banker at Bank of America, afterwards!

That's some bullshyt!

 

[guru1000]

I don't date black women, but in your context, if I did, I would strive to be the beta-bucks guys and be damn proud that I was. I have tenants who are thugs (Section 8), and they are on a different spectrum. The only difference that I see between you and I is that if I met a woman who ever had an affinity toward my Section 8 tenant (the thug), I would no longer be attracted to her, as I would feel that I am too good for her. She would be immediately disqualified and discarded.

 

[Tenacity]

I don't date black women, but in your context, if I did, I would strive to be the beta-bucks guys and be damn proud that I was. I have tenants who are thugs (Section 8), and they are on a different spectrum. The only difference that I see between you and I is that if I met a woman who ever had an affinity toward my Section 8 tenant (the thug), I would no longer be attracted to her, as I would feel that I am too good for her. She would be immediately disqualified and discarded.

Guru that's a good point, which brings me to another important point.

Many of us black men DO NOT have the self esteem that white men do. We basically grow up in a matriarchy called the black community where the black woman is seen as the leader of the household and community in many ways and the black man is no where near any type of leadership or power position.

We grow up being spoon fed programming that ALL black women are Queens, even the ratchet ones, which is why when black men criticize the bad behavior of black women in general, they will always say, "But your mother is black!" They are saying that in an attempt to remind you of the programming you received in that you are NOT supposed to be criticizing the black Queen! Any black Queen!

- With the white women/white men dynamic, even though Feminism exists, you still have the white community being mainly a PATRIARCHY. Which means that an educated White Man in a suit with an MBA is seen as sexy to the majority of middle class white women and they are ready to submit to his leadership.

- In the black community, a Black man with a suit and an MBA is looked at strangely by ALL black women because FOR ONE, if she doesn't have an MBA and if she isn't doing as financially well as him.....she gets ticked off at this!

- Many black women CAN'T STAND to see a black man doing better than them. So they will always talk about how "arrogant" this man is or talk shyt about him like, "Hmph, so what you got an MBA, it ain't a Harvard MBA! Hmph, so you make $100k a year, N-word I know people that make $300k, you ain't shyt!"

The reality is it's very easy for you as a white man coming from a Patriarchy to NEXT chicks because when YOU as a white man NEXT a white chick acting out of line, you KNOW there's 10 up the street who will act IN LINE.

But when a black man NEXTS a black chick acting out of line...where the fvck do we go? The next 10 - 20 black chicks up the road will act the same way. The black chicks in the next town will act the same way. The black chicks in the next state will act the same way.

 

[guru1000]

The reality is it's very easy for you as a white man coming from a Patriarchy to NEXT chicks because when YOU as a white man NEXT a white chick acting out of line, you KNOW there's 10 up the street who will act IN LINE.

But when a black man NEXTS a black chick acting out of line...where the fvck do we go? The next 10 - 20 black chicks up the road will act the same way. The black chicks in the next town will act the same way. The black chicks in the next state will act the same way.

IF ALL black women in your area behaved this way (though "ALL" used in any dating context is misguided), then I would no longer date black women. Simple. You choose black women, shvtty ones at that, and then complain that you are treated as a second-class citizen.

You mentioned previously you like curves and thus date only black, correct? The question that I have is if you are the beta-bvcks guy, the Uncle Tom, the Carl MBA, the second-choice, (1) why do you continue to date black women; and (2) why in all this time have you not tried dating other races with curves? This is akin to eating steak although you were allergic to it, but continuing to eat steak because its your favorite food, and when an allergy manifests, you complain about how deleterious this allergy is and how the steak is nothing but trouble--and then continue to eat more steak. Hilarious!

Tenacity, if you are a sellout to black people (although I absolutely don't believe you are), then truly be a sellout. There is no greater insult to a black woman than your preferring a white woman over her. Now that's a sellout you should aspire to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

IF ALL black women in your area behaved this way (though "ALL" used in any dating context is misguided), then I would no longer date black women. Simple. You choose black women, shvtty ones at that, and then complain that you are treated as a second-class citizen.

You mentioned previously you like curves and thus date only black, correct? The question that I have is if you are the beta-bvcks guy, the Uncle Tom, the Carl MBA, the second-choice, (1) why do you continue to date black women; and (2) why in all this time have you not tried dating other races with curves? This is akin to eating steak although you were allergic to it, but continuing to eat steak because its your favorite food, and when an allergy manifests, you complain about how deleterious this allergy is and how the steak is nothing but trouble--and then continue to eat more steak. Hilarious!

Tenacity, if you are a sellout to black people (although I absolutely don't believe you are), then truly be a sellout. There is no greater insult to a black woman than your preferring a white woman over her. Now that's a sellout you should aspire to.

There are pockets of "good women" among the "black" women and they are like tenacity in that they think "good" men do not ever exist! They are loyal, nurturing providers of females, and will phuck you good too in the sack. They won't look like a female on "love and hip hop", but they won't have any shortage of motivation or brains, something a real man needs beside him!

I met a few of these small groups and it's funny they think it's ZERO good men and I let em know that there are men who feel the same way!

 

[hithard]

I can't change the world......I drove myself to be a miserable, angry WRECK by believing I could. I'm working on accepting the Serenity Prayer.

Wow you are making strides. Well done. Look... I get the anger. And all of your advise is solid on women in general and how to deal with them. Women can be $hit. Real fu$king $hit.
But you are graduating to a big fish and there's no use complaining that you don't like the water because it's wet.
This is our environment.
I can make a huge list of the things I hate and dwell on it everyday. But its wasted energy.

Ten you are a success and improving every time I glance through the threads. I promise you there will come a point where it finally clicks. And the anger drops away.

But if you want to feel connected with the human race:
Friends.
Purpose.
Alleviate the isolation and loneliness. Standing on the outside looking in is where a lot of guys are at on this board.

Girls don't bring happiness and neither does money. Dealing with and acknowledging your internal struggles and who you are as a person does.
So how do you do it?
Well you have been. Talking, learning, taking action, debating and swallowing some bitter truths.
Happiness is about you. Others people can add to it or share it.

Just keep at it.

 

[Tenacity]

I've said this before....but this time I really mean it because I have NO other choice. I'm taking 3 months off from dating/fvcking/anything with women (except escorts, I might get some of those on the side).

I seriously feel like doing some Elliot Roger type shyt.......

I've had a god damn ENOUGH of women.....enough, enough, enough, enough!

I'm sick of the stuck up shyt, I'm sick of the non-supportive shyt, I'm sick of them not giving a flying FVCK if you breathe or die...all this bytch cares about is how you "make her feel". All this bytch cares about is me, me, me....bytch FVCK YOU, what about me?? What about me bytch?

Maybe I'm doing something wrong, I don't motafvckin know but one thing I know 100% is that I'm at my FVCKING BREAKING POINT. This is my BREAKING POINT. I need a break....I'm done. I'm taking a break.........

 

[zekko]

taiyuu and hithard I understand what you are saying, you are saying that my conclusion that the market is just "fvcked up" is wrong and instead there's something instead wrong with my "ability to sell".

The market is definitely weak, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

 

[guru1000]

taiyuu and hithard I understand what you are saying, you are saying that my conclusion that the market is just "fvcked up" is wrong and instead there's something instead wrong with my "ability to sell".

I fully understand your point, but you are not exactly striving to meet 5s who would fully defer to you without effort. You are shooting for the cream of the crop, correct? You are striving to attain women who have mountains of unearned attention from thousands of men who pander to their beck and call, correct? You are striving for the top 5% (in my case top 1%) of women, correct?

If you strive for the best, don't expect an easy market.