I have an over-thinking issue with a 20 yr old who's now latched on to me (so it seems)

[Poonani Maker]

As of Today, this gal I've known for little over a month in a "business" capacity (so "work" - not My business or not a co-worker, but someone I must deal with or see 1-2 times a week). She's ALWAYS agreeing with me (a first with recent girls), Never looks at her phone while talking to me (kinda a First nowadays), is Poor (with a sick father and sick dog), lives alone (and is doing nothing on the 4th she says). She said today that she wants me to teach her how to shoot. She has a few tats, is Not fat (but rather thin), cute chipmunkish face but with acne scars, not much in the way of t!ts. She's Always opening convo with me, and wanting to know more about me and all about me. She used to work in merchandising but due to the virus lost her career she was working towards so is now in a fallback line of work. I'm double her age guys, I'm just a little concerned I may be getting "set up." I'm going to take her shooting in a week or two, I'm sure she would have said yes to this weekend or even the 4th! said she will be alone at home (apartment) with her dog in the basement-level apt (mattress). I've known/banged other girls that remind me of her and that "type" has always thought "you're the one (toward me)" and real needy of me. Even in high school it's just that type (acne, and not the smoothest of skin, not the most desirable just average). I like her, just suspicious of her motive. She probably has daddy issues (I could be her daddy for sure).

 

[bat soup]

You should ask her why she wants to learn to shoot and if you suspect that she's considering doing something sinister, keep well away (and maybe report it).

 

[Desdinova]

I like her, just suspicious of her motive.

I don't think a 20 year old woman has a motive. I would suspect a 40 year old to have one, but at age 20 you're still quite naive.

Take her out and show her a good time.

 

[Medina]

I've had this. It's a cute little blessing, don't worry

It's easy to assume girls like that have daddy issues but you would be wrong

Some girls are just so agreeable they like an older guy because can feel even more feminine & comfortable

The real "daddy issue" types are often passive aggressive and they do not trust men. Those are the ones to avoid

 

[Poonani Maker]

You should ask her why she wants to learn to shoot and if you suspect that she's considering doing something sinister, keep well away (and maybe report it).

nah she was like, "I'm gonna hold you to it, you're taking me shooting" I'm a good shot and I'd be serious about teaching her how to handle a pistol (and maybe hop over to the 100 yr rifle lane). I think I fvcked up when I said, "You know, I'm usually there for 5 hours, but we can cut it short, don't have to go that long." Most people I know only go for 1-2 hours, but I have a lot of old (rifle) ammo to get rid of dating back to 2010. I'm thinking of going over to her apartment (or have her come to my house) and have her dry fire both my pistols to get the feel and mechanics of the slide release, the mag release, and grip, aiming before we ever hit the range. Also, probably my best bud for the past idk 6 years' son was military and a range-master to boot (not a SEAL but special forces). I've met him (he has a "girlfriend" and is about 15 years younger than me). Sure, he could steal this young gal who wants to learn to shoot, but I was considering having my bud and his son meet us at the range for a 4-some day at the range. I may even learn something, but my dad taught me Marine-style and I really like what he left behind for me. Matter of fact, I need to order some more ammo and may do that right now. I have plenty for the guns I've purchased on my own.

I wish I'd taken his S&W AR-15 but my brother got that. Can't have em all. My other brother got the 45-70 with a Ton of ammo for it (expensive), and the 870 shotgun.

Pistols are most important though and the starting point. However, without rule of law or in a societal breakdown scenario or "war," rifle or long gun is your best bet just about Anywhere. No one in war hardly ever resorts to the pistol it's laughable.

 

[bat soup]

nah she was like, "I'm gonna hold you to it, you're taking me shooting" I'm a good shot and I'd be serious about teaching her how to handle a pistol (and maybe hop over to the 100 yr rifle lane). I think I fvcked up when I said, "You know, I'm usually there for 5 hours, but we can cut it short, don't have to go that long." Most people I know only go for 1-2 hours, but I have a lot of old (rifle) ammo to get rid of dating back to 2010. I'm thinking of going over to her apartment (or have her come to my house) and have her dry fire both my pistols to get the feel and mechanics of the slide release, the mag release, and grip, aiming before we ever hit the range. Also, probably my best bud for the past idk 6 years' son was military and a range-master to boot (not a SEAL but special forces). I've met him (he has a "girlfriend" and is about 15 years younger than me). Sure, he could steal this young gal who wants to learn to shoot, but I was considering having my bud and his son meet us at the range for a 4-some day at the range. I may even learn something, but my dad taught me Marine-style and I really like what he left behind for me. Matter of fact, I need to order some more ammo and may do that right now. I have plenty for the guns I've purchased on my own.

I wish I'd taken his S&W AR-15 but my brother got that. Can't have em all. My other brother got the 45-70 with a Ton of ammo for it (expensive), and the 870 shotgun.

Pistols are most important though and the starting point. However, without rule of law or in a societal breakdown scenario or "war," rifle or long gun is your best bet just about Anywhere. No one in war hardly ever resorts to the pistol it's laughable.

I can't really say much about that specifically because in Europe we don't have this kind of gun culture. I suppose it could be an opportunity to get close to her (correcting her posture etc), but on the other hand you need to be careful about touching up a woman that is holding a gun.

A more general piece of advise is that it's generally not a good thing when she's the one leading and telling you what she wants to do on a date. Actually re-reading your post I've just realised that she might not even see this as a date and she could just intend to use you for free shooting lessons.

Perhaps you can test her a bit by telling her you'll take her shooting, but first you want to do XYZ (for example, she comes over to your place and brings some wine so that you can have a nice lunch) and see if she complies or gets bitchy and insists on just doing what she wants to do. If she does that, then you're probably better off not wasting your time on her.

Another thing - don't invite ****blockers along. They'll just end up getting in the way and do something like tag along afterwards and butt into the conversation, which will prevent you from escalating or taking her home or to a bar afterwards where you can really "take your shot".

 

[gravityeyelids]

Bro you're waaaaay overthinking this. She's attracted to you and the shooting is a glorified excuse. Let the gunfire get her all hot and bothered and then take full advantage of that.

At this point honestly, you have enough comfort build where you can probably just get her directly to your apartment, so show her how to handle your guns (wink), and then go directly for the lay. Or just makeout a bit, go do some shooting and come back after. Don't overthink this - it's cut and dry. Girls don't act this way around guys they don't want to sleep with. Especially not guys 20 years older than them.

She wants you to act like her daddy, so be her daddy . Just don't fall into the provider category and you're all good. Disqualfiy yourself and talk about how you're a free spirit and don't really like LTR, wouldn't make a good boyfriend/husband, etc. Just be forward and sexual and make her understand that it's just about the sex and having fun. Don't act like her sugar daddy or husband.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I can't really say much about that specifically because in Europe we don't have this kind of gun culture. I suppose it could be an opportunity to get close to her (correcting her posture etc), but on the other hand you need to be careful about touching up a woman that is holding a gun.

A more general piece of advise is that it's generally not a good thing when she's the one leading and telling you what she wants to do on a date. Actually re-reading your post I've just realised that she might not even see this as a date and she could just intend to use you for free shooting lessons.

Perhaps you can test her a bit by telling her you'll take her shooting, but first you want to do XYZ (for example, she comes over to your place and brings some wine so that you can have a nice lunch) and see if she complies or gets bitchy and insists on just doing what she wants to do. If she does that, then you're probably better off not wasting your time on her.

Another thing - don't invite ****blockers along. They'll just end up getting in the way and do something like tag along afterwards and butt into the conversation, which will prevent you from escalating or taking her home or to a bar afterwards where you can really "take your shot".

While this chick is really weird, she's not too crazy as she's worked in a professional sports capacity of a semi-pro team here (farm team), so she's been around a lot of tough guys. She grew up here which is kinda a wholesome area not a big city. She agrees with me that all politicians are dirtbags. She agrees with me on almost Everything, books, whatever. She takes care of her sick (cancer) big dog, HOWEVER she showed me her Facebook "friend requests..." I sh!t you not, 553 requests, and she's not one (cause her generation doesn't do Facebook) to go on there much. I don't either, but I only have 3 friend requests since I logged on in May to see my best friend growing up's friends' reactions to his sudden and surprising death at 44.

No, while shooting it IS perfectly fine to place her hand where it needs to be and show her how to manipulate the firearm, much like put-put hovering over her to make sure everything's right. I sense that she has a big pvssy. I just have been with her type, I just got a Feeling. So less desirable, and usually those are pretty clingy because of that (they KNOW that). She's very assertive cause she's in sales (seeing it as a life-long career that got derailed by Coronavirus), though kinda girly soft-spoken voice, an actress. She's kinda not in reality though or hasn't really met or understood the harsh world yet, despite the purple hair and tats (not extreme piercings though). She's definitely poor as fvck though. Her dad is disabled and I have no knowledge of her mom who she never speaks about and I've never asked.

I've noticed that a lot these girls relying on boyfriends for rent/cost of living, they're just searching for a bridge, they're Surviving. It's sad, cause of what society said they should do (be independent) - she wants to go to community college. I said sure, but in my mind I'm thinking what a waste she should have found a boy in high school and stuck with him, but that's today eh?

 

[2Rocky]

You gotta make a value judgement here. What is her value in your life? Does she have LTR potential ? From your comments it sounds like no.
If all she does is get your **** wet, do you really want to fend off the "feelings"?

Are you ashamed of her appearance and background so you are avoiding creating a relationship?

Listen finding an Independent woman comes at the cost of less attachment. She could easily become Dependent upon you based upon what you have described. Are you cold enough to Love her and Leave her? Don't ***** about a nasty breakup if you do...

 

[Poonani Maker]

You gotta make a value judgement here. What is her value in your life? Does she have LTR potential ? From your comments it sounds like no.
If all she does is get your **** wet, do you really want to fend off the "feelings"?

Are you ashamed of her appearance and background so you are avoiding creating a relationship?

Listen finding an Independent woman comes at the cost of less attachment. She could easily become Dependent upon you based upon what you have described. Are you cold enough to Love her and Leave her? Don't ***** about a nasty breakup if you do...

Well, she's always telling (or texting) people to tell me she said, "Hey." She's certainly trying to get in my face/get through to me (my wall). I haven't exactly made it easy for her. I've dealt with ones like this in the past who like one remembered me from grade school and then she just had to have me as a boyfriend. She had my guy friends call me to ask me to call her. She'd sit behind me at basketball/football games. I wasn't all that interested - had my eye on other girls, but I should have at least explored her more as of course she was the Most interested or pursuant.

On another note, MY issue is, after we go shoot and come back to my place, I suppose I'll grill us some burgers, but I Don't have a TV. That's probably an issue with most girls (you think?), which is why we should go to her sh!tty apartment. I just don't do TV, only internet on a 27 inch monitor. I guess we could watch my monitor while eating, or set out on the back porch, though I only have one lawnchair (high end) and other chairs I could get from upstairs. I'm getting a maid to come in the next couple of days to clean my house real fine. Been havin issues with flaky maids of late.

We could go for a walk. Of course, later FVCK. I'm a guy who could support a whole family without spousal help or having to work. She wouldn't ever have to work again, nor would I want her to. I don't understand her From-the-getgo-of-meeting-me Desire to be with me, or Know about me, get close to me. Something's off. Someone's telling her something? "Oh, he's well off..." he's this he's that, like I'm a mark or something.

 

[Gorgiass]

Edit - can't post links I guess?

Don't invite other guys, or other anyone along if you want to bang. They're younger and prob more fun. Why make her think about other options? You're moving backwards doing this. I always bailed on dates if a girl tried to bring a friend. You don't have to watch TV - take her home, mix some drinks or crack some beers, put on Spotify or Pandora and run your game. Did this last night, didn't touch the TV, still got laid.

Between the TV concern and wanting to invite other guys it seems like you're worried about keeping her entertained, but you don't want to go into it with the goal of being her entertainer. If you want any pointers for escalating when you get her home, see my recent post over on swoop the world forum about zero date bangs.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Well, we talked a bit today, and this morning she had her number written on paper waiting for me (cause I wasn't gonna ask). So I've found out that she lives with her mom rent-free. But you know what? I've misplaced the piece of paper she gave me Doh! I knew I was forgetting something I think I'll go back to work tonight to try to find it along with

 

[Poonani Maker]

A few things I don't like about her already: double nose ring, tats on arm, vegetarian. What I Do like about her is her body (tight-fitting jeans). She has tats on her lower back too. I can deal with the purple hair, and people are always looking at us while we're talking for a long time in the parking lot. Dudes, mainly just I caught looking at us from afar. It's pretty funny when people wanna pry or idk be envious whatever. It's not my fault this chick has been at me for 3 months from day 1. I've been so haphazzard or nonchalant about her, TO her, that she keeps coming when I've been so almost rude in ignoring her. I like that she likes me but it's like she's dreaming up stuff about me or fakin it until she makes it.

 

[Poonani Maker]

You are clearly overthinking this.

Either go for it or stop thinking about her.

Well, when she gets all in my face and long talks then I can't help but not think about her, who she is and where she's comin from. I don't love her that's for sure, but she's a sweet gal. That's all at this point in time. I will take her out next week. She said, "If you want to" after I asked if she still "wants to (her idea)." I think she's growing impatient, but idgaf. If she finds another guy, fine.

 

[Scars]

I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Younger girls like older guys. You probably have your own place, a car, a stable job, and other responsibilities in your life. There is something attractive about that. Maybe it's not "daddy issues", but she is trying to cling on to something she feels she was "robbed" from as a child. It sounds like she just wants some stability in her life. You gotta remember that the guys her age are dumb sh!ts with no real life experience. Why WOULDN'T she want you? Why do you think it's a setup? You're THE MAN. Stop overthinking it.

 

[Poonani Maker]

She's comin over Sunday morning, and we're going to make a day of it. She told me today that she "doesn't (recognize)" her "biological clock." She was asking me about kids, if I liked them. Asking about the city I was born n' raised in. She's been inquiring about me to people who've known me for 6 years and 13 years (the 13 year friend told me today they she was whispering to a woman I've known for 6 years 2 days ago so he couldn't hear what they were saying about me but that the subject was definitely me...I asked him if he said some sh!t about me and he said, "Ye- uh, no," that he wanted to stay out of "of the middle" of it). She also told me that another 60+ year old woman we both know has been trying to set her up with a businessman, to which she said "ugh, no..." She's very poor, her dad, her mom (divorced), poor. Her eyes are poor or "dead," but like I said her body from the neck down is pretty fookin hot. She's very rocker-chick-like.

The main thing is that I think she Really trusts me, eh? to be coming over to my house first time out. There's several anchors of trust already, plus she's a kinda risky gal to begin with (or has balls). She probably weighs 115-120 5'7."

 

[Black Widow Void]

Wishing you good luck on the Sunday outcome. Although it kind of temporarily kills the moment, make sure that you have contraceptives on hand and use them. And (not saying that she will, but) do not let her talk you out of using one.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Ok, we went to where we were going then lo n' behold on the 2-lane there there was a burning truck with hay in the back of it and the grass to the side of the road was on fire. So called 911 then did a U-ie and went to an indoor range about 40 miles away. 1st time there, so the range instructor tried a little to amog me with butting in and trying to show her how to shoot. It was pretty funny. Then he says he just uses iron sights not laser sights (one of which were off - these are my dad's pistols he left to me). Anyway, shot a lot of rounds. I touched her all over her naked shoulders (very soft) and arms to get her into a correct stance. We talked a lot before going and after and on the way and back about a lot of things. So she's spent a lot of her life touring with bands (rock) and a cruise in the Bahamas with a band, thus when they got to a port, there was drugs waiting for them etc etc.

Discovered more her tats. People treated us well everywhere we went except the range instructor, but even he backed off later on, but he was a sneaky one trying to make me look weaker.

Anyway her mom called her before she left. We talked more n' more out on my front lawn. She said she wanted to make it (the expense) of today to me ($60). I'm like eh, drop in the bucket, think nothin of it, etc. but she insists trying to make it up to me next week. I said I needed to find flaws in my dad's guns - one of them had issue jamming, the Glock didn't. Also I need to re-calibrate one of the lasers.

She'd also dated a cop last year and that it didn't work out or wasn't going anywhere. She told me all about her family, good and bad, about a horse she used to own, about how COVID has derailed her (party) lifestyle. All she has is her dog and record memorabilia/signatures.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sounds like you had a good Sunday.
That's cool that she was mindful of your expenses (not that you needed this or anything, but it shows good character on her part) ,

If she brings up wanting to reciprocate again, I'd suggest letting her (some women feel more comfortable when things are "even"). This will also provide you with a good opportunity (maybe a trade-off to have her over to cook). You could say something like "I love home cooked meals, but I'm such a bad cook that people pray after they eat."

Good luck with the new gal.

 

[Poonani Maker]

^^ thanks for the encouragement man, as I have been thinking negatively about the whole thing, I mean towards the end there she was receiving a lot of texts big texts which she claimed was her mom idk I just don’t like all that slavery to the phone in My house. Imean I see it All the time where a girl will be on her phone constantly while her boyfriend husband or some dude is driving. She didn’t do the with me while I was driving but at the end at my house Someone was texting like every other minute. It’s a sneakiness I a man in his 40s never really cared for. It’s a hiding and a dishonesty feeling I get from it. It’s not cool while we are talking. I know all women are like that now but idk I may just drop her on that alone like “bye...Felicia.” She Did say twice that no one has ever came through for her taking her shooting like they said they would. I just said (probably the wrong thing) that my buds havent been coming through for me either when it was their idea to go shooting in June, he was off camping with his family. Of course I didn’t call him but he was so gung ho about it before we went on our vacations the same week. Dudes around me at least are evermore flaky these days.