I have a problem...

[DreamyChick]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=108114 Follow up thread

My problem is that whenever I get around this guy I cant open up to him about anything. Tonight I called and he came over for a bit and I just couldnt escape the nervousness at the pit of my stomach. He was on my territory so why wasnt I more comfortable?

He of course brought up sex talk eventually. Asking me if I masturbate. I never want to go there with him bc he says that we are never going to go beyond friends and I dont feel like he should know about what I do sexually.

He kept saying I was weird I just dont want him to know that because I dont trust how he'll use that info. Then I was like its private. And he was like yeah you should know about privacy reminding me about the online journal he found and read and created a bunch of unnessary drama and head ache for me.
So he wanted to go home and go to bed but I was trying to stall him. So I asked for a massage. After a few minutes he stopped and that was really annoying then we just talked in my room and finally he was like well I am out and give me a hug and I was like no, I cant give you a hug bc its bad.

He wanted me to elaborate I was still nervous. I finally told him that I would want more. He acted like he didnt know what that meant, but I knew he did so he gave me you are weird look and started walking out the door acting annoyed. I was like don't be like that so he turned around came in and gave me a hug and said see that wasn't bad was it? But I told him it would leave me wanting more than a hug and he still did it. I was shocked. Anyway I have myself to blame for tonight's mess.

He knows the affect he has on me though I am pretty sure of that. Yet we talked and I was like I wish I could be more daring and hes like my advice is just do it and dont worry about the consequences but what I want to do involves him and I do worry about the consequences bc I dont want to make a fool out of myself.


Anyway I am just frusterated bc he makes me want to be impulsive and jump on him, but I am afraid of getting hurt and rejected.

 

[Bvbidd]

Can you tell us what makes you want to jump on him?

 

[DreamyChick]

Can you tell us what makes you want to jump on him?

I think its a combination of a lot of things. It really doesnt have anything to do as much with his looks though hes not bad looking. Hes not cute in that young intellectual boy look I normally go for. But it has more to do I guess with how he challenges me to step out of my comfort zone. I've always fell into the good girl category. I want a man to want all of me not just my body. I am also a romantic and know that when I do get intimate with a man I will get emotionally attached. This guy always wants to know personal info about me and lately the topic of sexual activity comes up like he says I bet you are thinking about it now etc etc. He is always more of a mystery he'll answer personal questions for me but he doesnt go into detail. Sometimes he does and then I assume hes full of crap bc sometimes hes being sarcastic or facetious. I want him I guess because he makes me feel nervous and excited but yet at the same time absolutely terrified bc I dont trust him or how he makes me feel with his actions. I dont trust myself either.

I mean tonight I told him how I am kind of freaking out bc I'll be turning 25 soon and how I wish I could be the girl that could break some rules take some chances and not worry about the consquences but he was like you just have to do it. I want one of those chances to be taking him by surprise and just kissing him but it wouldnt be much of a surprise bc he knows I want him which is why I surprised when he acted clueless that I wouldnt give him a hug. It makes me crave more contact with him and of course after the hug he walks away.

 

[DasaniWater]

Wow. Just wow.

 

[Shiftkey]

Less talk more action. Didn't I tell you to fvck him? How has the situation changed at all from your first post?

Judging by his behavior though, he's either gay or really inexperienced when it comes to sex. Next time he comes over you should ask him lmao

 

[DreamyChick]

Less talk more action. Didn't I tell you to fvck him? How has the situation changed at all from your first post?

It would be easier if I didnt have to make a move. I dont have the kind of experience for that. I suggested that I didnt want him to leave but he did anyway but not before offering to go buy me alchol to drink by myself. I said no thanks its not fun by myself.

He came walking in with a diet dr. pepper tonight that was drinking. My favorite soft drink so I asked what are you doing with that. His reply it's growing on me. But failed to bring me one and finished it off in my kitchen. I was disappointed by that.

 

[Trapper]

just did not make any sense.. next him..

 

[DreamyChick]

Less talk more action. Didn't I tell you to fvck him? How has the situation changed at all from your first post?

Judging by his behavior though, he's either gay or really inexperienced when it comes to sex. Next time he comes over you should ask him lmao

LOL I asked about him being gay or bi. He's all I am definitely not gay or bi. You should know that. He claims to have all this sexual experience and tells me tonight that I need to experience a few one night stands and stuff before I get serious about a man.

I let him massage me in my bedroom hello. But he didnt go crazy with it. And he stopped just when I was giving an indication that I liked it. Then he stood up for awhile and I was laying on my bed and I had a direct view of his crotch and I noticed a bump in the material of his pants I thought but I didnt stare too long bc he would have noticed. It wasnt huge or sticking out too much so I thought I could have been imagining it. Then thats when he decided to leave and asked me to hug him. And the start of his weird behavior.

 

[Shiftkey]

Just because he says that, doesn't mean it's true. I stand by what I said earlier. If I were in his possition, I would've fvcked you a long time ago. But I'm not a gay virgin lol. So I really have no clue what's going through his head.

I know you don't want to make a move, but you only have two options. Make a move or stop all contact with him.

 

[Itiswhatitis]

He's gay or u are not attractive to him or he's givin up on u because u are such a prude or maybe he feels the same as u do and really he's scared to make a fool of himself. I dont know any guy whos actually friends wit a ch1ck sho he wouldnt have sex with or wants to. How did u two become friends anyway? He's hangin out with u for a reason unless ur just giving him money or gifts. Just loosen up is the best way to say it which is easier said than done. Just be more playful and stop talkin to him about how much of a prude u are. Maybe bring up some other guy and see if he gets jealous or sumthin.
If hes not getting sex it doesnt seem like he's just using u. Tell him he's weird because most guys wouldve made a move on u when they come to hang out but he doesnt. See what his reaction is,and that will probaly be ur answer. Hell either let u know hes not attracted or why he doesnt. And if u say it in a joking manner u wont be puttin urself out there too much.
If u get a negative reaction just laugh it off and keep it movin.

 

[Trapper]

well, it could be a good Playboy move...are u really tempting?

 

[DreamyChick]

well, it could be a good Playboy move...are u really tempting?

What could be a play boy move?

 

[Trapper]

seein you on the bed, ready for everything, than walking away...dont you think?

 

[DreamyChick]

Yeah probably.

 

[BlackJackal]

LOL I asked about him being gay or bi. He's all I am definitely not gay or bi. You should know that. He claims to have all this sexual experience and tells me tonight that I need to experience a few one night stands and stuff before I get serious about a man.

I let him massage me in my bedroom hello. But he didnt go crazy with it. And he stopped just when I was giving an indication that I liked it. Then he stood up for awhile and I was laying on my bed and I had a direct view of his crotch and I noticed a bump in the material of his pants I thought but I didnt stare too long bc he would have noticed. It wasnt huge or sticking out too much so I thought I could have been imagining it. Then thats when he decided to leave and asked me to hug him. And the start of his weird behavior.

Just reach out and touch this man where he wants you to touch already. Because both you and that dude do nothing but talk, talk, talk, talk talk. Just do something and I promise you the bull**** will stop.

 

[Bvbidd]

LOL

This thread is hilarious. Seeing it from the other side.

If you want him so much then just do something.

But uh.. How old is this guy? There must be something missing as it sounds like he'd feel guilty if he did anything. If it's not that.. then it sounds like he's just scared lol.. mabye he doesn have as much experience as he says.

 

[DreamyChick]

We both will be 25 in a matter of a few weeks. My birthday is at the end of the month while his is 2 weeks later. I definitely think he has more experience than me because I am a virgin. I just don't think he wants to go there with me because he knows I'll get emotionally attached. I asked him about this girl hes been seeing for the past few months and he says they aren't defined and I was like what does that mean? He replied she doesn't consider me her bf and I don't consider her my gf. So I said you aren't exclusive and he's like right we aren't I hardly see her.

What's so funny is he's always acting like hes an alpha male but I don't get to watch him in action.

He thought I was being weird about the hug but every time we hug I always end up wishing I could have more, and so that's why I turned him down because it's not fair to me but then he acted annoyed by it so then he just went against what I said and did it anyway. That somewhat impressed me and annoyed me.

 

[crossboss]

Although I skipped ahead.

I would make the move using kino. You could see how he reacts. Then you could go into sexual moves. Work your way, up to sex. By not making the move, you lose the opportunity. Making the move shows confidence. It also turns on the guy if you are good at it.

If kino fails, forget about him. He is not good enough for you.

Girls that make the move on me, turns me on. Girls who I had no sexual attraction towards at first, turns it around.

 

[DreamyChick]

I'll work on that I just have to get over being nervous around him. I don't understand why I have known him for years now. It's just hes so observant and I know he'll be watching me and that in itself is nerve wracking.

 

[timeforacatnap]

hey sweetie,

no worries, help is at hand, not from me personally, but my friendwithbenafits is an fPUA and i have a few femalePUAs who might beable to help you out,www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com/forum, sign up to the forum and go to the girl next door area and copy and paste all this and i'll get my girl to give you a shout.