I have a confession to make and need some advice (for once)

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I broke up with my GF about 6 months ago because i could sense that things weren't going the way they should. She was growing distant and we rarely had sex and she was dealing with alot of personal issues that really had nothing to do with me.

instead of waiting it out, i decided to just end it. The problem was that I loved this girl more than any girl I've ever met. A friend told me a long time ago (at his bachelor party, nonetheless) that when you find the "one" you just know it.

Well, she's the one. I've been with 40+ women and none compare to the chemistry that me and my ex had. It was one of those mutual and genuine things that both of us just knew it was mean't to be.

When I broke it off, she didn't put up any fuss whatsoever, which hurt even more, because i figured that doing so might actually make her open her eyes and want to work things out. It never happened and that day never came.

my confession is that i still love her as much as i did 6 months ago. I can't get over her at all. It was the one that i knew I would eventually marry. We have tons in common and the chemistry was 100% perfect. If i were ot ever believe in soulmates, she's the one.

Since our breakup I've been with about 7 different girls but it doesn't matter. They never compare, even though some were hotter, and some were sweeter... it just doesn't compare.

I've come to the conclusion that i will never get over this one, and for what ever reason I really feel that one day we will get back together.

I'd dump whoever I'm with in an instant, if she came around.

She has not been with anyone since, and is still trying to get herself figured out. (I know this for a fact)

what the fvck am I supposed to do? I've been out getting new girls but nothing seems to get me over it. I've never dwelt on a breakup for very long and this is 6 months and it's as if I was just with her, yesterday.

i'm trying to forget her, cause I'll never get over her.

this is m y confession.

If anyone tries to flame me for being a "pvssy" you can go fvck yourself. I knwo what I'm supposed to do to get over it, but none of that is working.

Any alternative advice from someone who's felt THIS kind of loss?

It feels like I'm mourning a death more than getting over a breakup... it's really weird.

 

[vazeh]

have you talked to her since the break up

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by vazeh
have you talked to her since the break up

yup.

I've been talking to her about everything, off and on since the breakup.

i kept my distance and made my self scarce. We had a big discussion that turned into a huge argument and after that, we haven't really been in touch. We've been on msn a couple times over the last few days. She's been kinda depressed lalety and i'm just trying to be there for her.... She'd expect that from me, at least.

 

[wavejams007]

Maybe tyhis one is the one. U Rn't being a *****, and sometimes you just have to put al past hurts and injuries aside and try to make amends for any rifts between you and her. It seems as if there was no bad friction between U 2. I know this sounds super AFC and all but screw it, have you told her of your feelings about this?

Best of luck to you bro!:woo:

TTYL elsewhere

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
A friend told me a long time ago (at his bachelor party, nonetheless) that when you find the "one" you just know it.




It was the one that i knew I would eventually marry. We have tons in common and the chemistry was 100% perfect. If i were ot ever believe in soulmates, she's the one.

I think you need to get out of the mindest that there is such a thing of "soulmate" and the "One". There is not such thing. People get divorced all the time and people die all the time and miraculously are able to pick up their lives and find other women.

It is obvious that since you two broke up she wasn't your "soulmate or the "one". You got oneitis and you can't shake her up because you are comparing all the women you date with her. There might never be another girl like her where the chemistry will be as good but this chapter has ended and now a new one begins.

You need to let go of her and think that she will come back to you because its hindering your current dating life.

DjDamage

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
yup.

I've been talking to her about everything, off and on since the breakup.

i kept my distance and made my self scarce. We had a big discussion that turned into a huge argument and after that, we haven't really been in touch. We've been on msn a couple times over the last few days. She's been kinda depressed lalety and i'm just trying to be there for her.... She'd expect that from me, at least.

This is where the problem lies. She is still there in your life. When people break up especially after a diffcult breakup they need to cut all contact for good. The fact that she is still in your life in some sort of capacity is causing you more pain then if she weren't in your life.

DjDamage

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by wavejams007
Maybe tyhis one is the one. U Rn't being a *****, and sometimes you just have to put al past hurts and injuries aside and try to make amends for any rifts between you and her. It seems as if there was no bad friction between U 2. I know this sounds super AFC and all but screw it, have you told her of your feelings about this?

Best of luck to you bro!:woo:

TTYL elsewhere

Actually, I just realized that I didn't understand the last part about the big fight. Apperantly you did have some friction, but it was just one argument. Serious arguments happen from time to time among couples, U just have to somehow work them out. I can't help you work it out cuz I don't know the specific details.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
yup.

I've been talking to her about everything, off and on since the breakup.

i kept my distance and made my self scarce. We had a big discussion that turned into a huge argument and after that, we haven't really been in touch. We've been on msn a couple times over the last few days. She's been kinda depressed lalety and i'm just trying to be there for her.... She'd expect that from me, at least.

Dude, you need to leave her alone and be there for yourself. Don't even try to date anyone else because you aren't ready.

You need to go out and focus on yourself. Find a hobby that you can throw yourself into. Your ex had been your passion, worse thing in the world to do.

You need to find your own new passion, one which YOU have control over. One that the effort you put into it you can readily see payback.

Once you start seeing the payoff from your new hobby/passion, you will start actually feeling it. At that time you'll know that you are ready to start sarging again.

My last LTR ended a year ago after being together for almost two. There is an unwritten formula that says that after a breakup, one needs to actively focus on themselves for one month for each year of a relationship. Lucky me, I had been focusing on myself for a good month when we "officially" broke up. two weeks later I made my first approach as a free man and #closed (I posted a FR about it). I guess the formula works.

Long story short, I found my passion (cycling). I became a kick @ss rider, I have a better body than I had 20 years ago, my ex girlfriend's friends hit on me, I got a better job, a better house and to top it off, a working XBox-360!

How did I achieve all of this? I focused on myself and made things happen myself instead of waiting for it to happen. Have I seen my ex since the breakup? Yeah, maybe two or three times. I had to see her eventually, my great new job is for the company she works for! So she has to see me in my greatness in the cafeteria.

Focus on yourself, be selfish. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. Come back from the ashes as a Phoenix!

 

[everywomanshero]

Yea

You have to forget her. You're in a crazy love relationship. Here is what the problem is:

1) Men fall in love first.
2) It is 10000x easier for any non-fat/non-disfigured women to attract a man than for 95% of men to attract a woman. I would venture to say a woman in a wheelchair could get laid easier than 95% of men.
3) Women tend to have larger social circles than most men.
4) Child support, alimony, social services all favor women giving them greater mobility and less financial concerns.
5) Immigration brings more men to first world countries. In any event, until you get fairly old there is actually more men than women to begin with.
6) Men suffer much more depression after a divorce than women do.
7) Men actually care more about the success of a reltionship than women do, because women have less to lose.

When you combine all of these things together, it is a pretty gloomy day to be the average guy.

You really have two choices at this point:
A) You turn to hookers to suppliment the dry spells
B) You become one of the 5% of guys that defy the stereotypical idiot male.

If you live in US, hookers are a dangerous option, because they are probably on drugs, connected to criminals, or possibly (in some areas where the prostitution laws are enforced) you could even be arrested.

OK back to the point. You're wrong that she hasn't been with anyone else unless she just isn't feeling sexual right now. And if that's the case, do you want to be her emotional tampon only to be dumped when she starts feeling sexual and screwing like a dog in heat?

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Double post IGNORE

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Dude, you need to leave her alone and be there for yourself. Don't even try to date anyone else because you aren't ready.

You need to go out and focus on yourself. Find a hobby that you can throw yourself into. Your ex had been your passion, worse thing in the world to do.

You need to find your own new passion, one which YOU have control over. One that the effort you put into it you can readily see payback.

Once you start seeing the payoff from your new hobby/passion, you will start actually feeling it. At that time you'll know that you are ready to start sarging again.

My last LTR ended a year ago after being together for almost two. There is an unwritten formula that says that after a breakup, one needs to actively focus on themselves for one month for each year of a relationship. Lucky me, I had been focusing on myself for a good month when we "officially" broke up. two weeks later I made my first approach as a free man and #closed (I posted a FR about it). I guess the formula works.

Long story short, I found my passion (cycling). I became a kick @ss rider, I have a better body than I had 20 years ago, my ex girlfriend's friends hit on me, I got a better job, a better house and to top it off, a working XBox-360!

How did I achieve all of this? I focused on myself and made things happen myself instead of waiting for it to happen. Have I seen my ex since the breakup? Yeah, maybe two or three times. I had to see her eventually, my great new job is for the company she works for! So she has to see me in my greatness in the cafeteria.

Focus on yourself, be selfish. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. Come back from the ashes as a Phoenix!

Dude, thanx..

That's exactly what i needed to hear.

I am not ready to move on. I am 100% involved in my own life, but for some reason I find myself actively searching to fill the void that she left. I realise now that no one will, until i'm ready to get back out there.

Some of you are missing the point. I have been with 7 women since her.. there are no "dry spells" ... I'm not saying she hasn't slept with anyone else, but considering how she's been feeling I'd really doubt it. (believe me... it's complicated and I don't want to bring up the details)

i just know that she hasn't been dating anyone else.

Anyways, thanks Fransico... i'm gonna focus 100% on me and not even try and pickup anyone for a while. I really needed to hear that.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Let me clear some sh*t up.........

The ONE does exist and what a gut wrenching, excruciating and painful felling she drags along with her.

Just the image of her face fills you with happiness, a feeling so pure, so unrelenting that it makes you unable to deny that somewhere out there in this vast expanse of space there truly is a GOD.

Just to smell her makes you weak at the knees, makes you quiver.

You love her but you hate her. You’re torn between 2 emotions hate, love, hate love, hate love........but that’s what true love is.

She's the one girl that even the brief thought of her with another man could bring you to tears.

WHAT?

Am I AFC because I said that?

FU*K NO

You’re AFC if you don’t believe that, you’re a poor deluded fool who thinks he is happy but will never be truly happy, you are a SoSuave robot who thinks he knows all the answers. Brainwashed by seduction websites, instead of letting them fulfill your life you let them fill your head.

Seduction is real, what this site says is real to an extent but to make “the game” easier they deny love. They try to make it a non existent entity but after a wile every true DJ gets a feeling, a feeling that tells him he needs more than just meaningless sex and multiple partners.

Why do we get this feeling?

It’s in out nature to do so.

We can’t go SARGING and getting ONS’s at 60 yrs old.

Love does exist and “the one” does exist.

So people stop deluding your self with this fake image of the ideal DJ.

The true ideal DJ is the man that embraces his manhood, has ONS’s, and has multiple partners. The true DJ also realizes that love is existent and one day he has to find his perfect girl or he will wither and die, like so many have before him and so many will after him.

So don’t buy into this false idealistic belief that love does not exist, it is just and illusion, a trick, a smoke screen used to make your life easier.

Bad Ass Canadian few of us are lucky enough to meet “the one” but if you do meet her and you let her slip away, you my friend are a fool.

If you are completely sure this girl is “the one” and you are not with her.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

It may seem hard, it may seem impossible but you don’t strike me as the guy that is afraid of a challenge.

So get up from this computer and go get your woman.

Or another guy will……….


P.S Dont listen tot he guys telling you to forget about her. They are SoSuave ROBOTS you don't want to be a robot.

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
Let me clear some sh*t up.........

The ONE does exist and what a gut wrenching, excruciating and painful felling she drags along with her.

Just the image of her face fills you with happiness, a feeling so pure, so unrelenting that it makes you unable to deny that somewhere out there in this vast expanse of space there truly is a GOD.

Just to smell her makes you weak at the knees, makes you quiver.

You love her but you hate her. You’re torn between 2 emotions hate, love, hate love, hate love........but that’s what true love is.

She's the one girl that even the brief thought of her with another man could bring you to tears.

WHAT?

Am I AFC because I said that?

FU*K NO

You’re AFC if you don’t believe that, you’re a poor deluded fool who thinks he is happy but will never be truly happy, you are a SoSuave robot who thinks he knows all the answers. Brainwashed by seduction websites, instead of letting them fulfill your life you let them fill your head.

Seduction is real, what this site says is real to an extent but to make “the game” easier they deny love. They try to make it a non existent entity but after a wile every true DJ gets a feeling, a feeling that tells him he need more than just meaningless sex and multiple partners.

Why do we get this feeling?

It’s in out nature to do so.

We can’t go SARGING and getting ONS’s at 60.

Love does exist and “the one” does exist.

So people stop deluding your self with this fake image of the ideal DJ.

The true ideal DJ is the man that embraces his manhood, has ONS’s, and has multiple partners. The true DJ also realizes that love is existent and one day he has to find his perfect girl or he will wither and die, like so many have before him and so many will after him.

So don’t buy into this false idealistic belief that love does not exist, it is just and illusion, a trick, a smoke screen used to make your life easier.

Bad Ass Canadian few of us are lucky enough to meet “the one” but if you do meet her and you let her slip away, you my friend are a fool.

If you are completely sure this girl is “the one” and you are not with her.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

It may seem hard, it may seem impossible but you don’t strike me as the guy that is afraid of a challenge.

So get up from this computer and go get your woman.

Or another guy will……….


P.S Dont listen tot he guys telling you to forget about her. They are SoSuave ROBOTS you don't want to be a robot.

Lots of newbies and novices would say you are an AFC, but you are not. You just tend to be a deeper thinker, and appear to be an idealist-realist.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

P.S Dont listen tot he guys telling you to forget about her. They are SoSuave ROBOTS you don't want to be a robot.

thax Lev,

Believe me i knw what you're syaing with that last comment haha.

I do believe in the one. It's not an ideal.. it is my ideal girl. This chick is the one. My perfect match.. I've slept with 40+ women and dated 20 more.. I've been around and i know what i'm looking for.


Why do i know this? Because there are tons of things she does that absolutley piss me off but I still love her. It's unconditional.

Infatuation is a whole different thing, but this, for me is borderlining on unconditional love. She could gain 100lbs and I'd still love her. It's her personality... it's everything.

It's something you just know when it happens and i think many on here can't relate to the feeling. i've had oneitis before but this is totally different. I'm 27 yrs old, I know what's going on and I'm not stuck in an infatuation.

i said it before. It feels like i'm mourning a death... like she isn't really gone. I just haven't been able to accept it yet....


i'm gonna try and get her back, somehow, but i'm not a chump nor do I want to look like one.

This is not something that will happen overnight. I'm gonna take Fransisco's advice (which I've been doing anyways) and really focus 100% on myself. No women at all, for the next little while.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
thax Lev,

Believe me i knw what you're syaing with that last comment haha.

I do believe in the one. It's not an ideal.. it is my ideal girl. This chick is the one. My perfect match.. I've slept with 40+ women and dated 20 more.. I've been around and i know what i'm looking for.


Why do i know this? Because there are tons of things she does that absolutley piss me off but I still love her. It's unconditional.

Infatuation is a whole different thing, but this, for me is borderlining on unconditional love. She could gain 100lbs and I'd still love her. It's her personality... it's everything.

It's something you just know when it happens and i think many on here can't relate to the feeling. i've had oneitis before but this is totally different. I'm 27 yrs old, I know what's going on and I'm not stuck in an infatuation.

i said it before. It feels like i'm mourning a death... like she isn't really gone. I just haven't been able to accept it yet....


i'm gonna try and get her back, somehow, but i'm not a chump nor do I want to look like one.

This is not something that will happen overnight. I'm gonna take Fransisco's advice (which I've been doing anyways) and really focus 100% on myself. No women at all, for the next little while.

If you need to take time on your self for the next little wile

DO IT!!

just don’t leave it to long, you don't want her to find another man.

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
If you need to take time on your self for the next little wile

DO IT!!

just don’t leave it to long, you don't want her to find another man.

You said it. Nothing would suck more than to wait too long and lose the girl to another guy.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
If you are completely sure this girl is “the one” and you are not with her.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

You seem to forget he already done something about it!

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
I broke up with my GF about 6 months ago because i could sense that things weren't going the way they should. She was growing distant and we rarely had sex and she was dealing with alot of personal issues that really had nothing to do with me.

instead of waiting it out, i decided to just end it.

The relationship wasn't working out, she did not measure up to his expectations of her and the relationship. BAC wasn't getting sex, he had a girl with lots of baggage and issues and she became distant. He wanted her to to be the "one" but she didn't took the challange. It wasn't his fault.

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
When I broke it off, she didn't put up any fuss whatsoever, which hurt even more, because i figured that doing so might actually make her open her eyes and want to work things out. It never happened and that day never came.

Emotional chicks who are in love act as if they were stung by a bee. They cry, the pout and if they really wanted the guy back they would even resort to begging. His chick reaction to the news was cold. As if she was the one that dumped him (maybe she already did but she didn't want the whole confrontation and be the bad one so sometimes what chicks do is to derail the relationship so the guy will get sick and tired of the B.S and dump her and thus she becomes guilt free). The day never came BAC said so, for a reason.

Just because 6 months have passed does not mean things will change. Another 6 months and he will probably be back to square 1.

BAC go after women who love you back and show that they love you back.

DjDamage

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
what the fvck am I supposed to do?

He asked and i told him to do something about it and go get her DJ Damage.

 

[MetalFortress]

It usually takes about half the time you dated her for, to be over her. That's not an absolute rule but it's a majority one. How long were you with her for?

 

[DJDamage]

Re: Re: I have a confession to make and need some advice (for once)

Originally posted by LeviathanIYG
He asked and i told him to do something about it and go get her DJ Damage.

But she doesn't want him to go get her and he is not going to get the relationship he wanted to even if he does get her. Why should he bare the burden of the whole relationship? she failed in her responsibility to make him happy.

He was not married to her and she was already reducing sex, was depressed and became distant. I hate to think what a marriage to this "one" would look like.

He should go get another girl, love is a two way street my friend.

DjDamage