I hate how you guys tell people to take care of themselves and dating automatically follows

[sosousage]

people say I look like Mario Lopez. I have also gotten some comparisons to the fitness model Sagi Kalev

I routinely have random strangers telling me that I'm very handsome

i say to girls I wanna sleep with that they look like marilyn monroe

and I routinely tell random stranger women that they are very cute hoping ill get something in return


why cant you post your pic?

 

[bigdave17]

i say to girls I wanna sleep with that they look like marilyn monroe

and I routinely tell random stranger women that they are very cute hoping ill get something in return

People compliment me who have nothing to gain from it.

why cant you post your pic?

I am worried for privacy

 

[MatureDJ]

every woman nowadays has a dating profile

try getting the attention of a decent looking 26 year old chick with no kids if you are not a 6'3 white male model. Forget about it - I would rather stick my hand in a bee nest

Like this?

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm not going to sacrifice my standards- I want the female equivalent of myself - a good looking, classy, intelligent, professional, in shape woman with no kids who is mid to late 20s

those women on dating sites are looking for male models and movie stars. They are not looking for me

in terms of real life dating, I get signs of interest sometimes from skanks and obese women and cougars. I never get any signs of interest from anybody close to my league

Obviously, the equivalent of yourself is a fat, ugly woman.

 

[sph21]

OP, you're too arrogant and you don't even realize that you are still a nice guy. I know this because you can't even get a younger woman to like you. The fact that you can only get older women is because they are too desperate to be in a relationship. Don Juans (real men) are rare. As DJs gets older, they will get the best women (younger ones). Women know this fact. This is why as they get older, they settle for nice guys because nice guys are easier to tame than Don Juans (real men).

Who you are, attract what kind of people who wants to be with you.

Younger women have more options than older women. It means that they aim for the best men they can find. This tells a lot about your personality. Your life is your reflection of your mindset.

If you aim to give a perfect image about yourself to every woman, then you will only be rejected. By not showing any vulnerability, you are also not talking in women's language which is: to feel. Why would she be with you if you can't even feel all sort of emotions. Why would she be comfortable in you if you can't even be comfortable in your own feelings? In order for intimacy to begin, she must feel comfortable around you.

We're giving you these advices based upon our own experiences. We've been though that phase in life. But you keep debating us. If you really want to how to be good with women, then you must be willing to let go those poisonous beliefs you hold so dear.

Arrogance will seep though your sub-communications (non-verbal communications such as body language, tone of voice, even on how you react to everything she says). Women are better than than us at perceiving nonverbal communications. This is why eliminating arrogance and any desperation is necessary to attract women.

If a woman is attracted to us, she wants someone who is not easily attainable (being a challenge). It means that we can't brag about our greatness. This challenge will ensure her to think about us when we're not around. This kind of investment in her part will keep the attraction alive. There are other investments that will keep her attraction alive but I just want to focus on why we must not be arrogant.

Arrogance kills attraction while true confidence attracts women. Lose your arrogance and keep your confidence and you will start to notice big difference in your interactions with everyone.

 

[bigdave17]

OP, you're too arrogant and you don't even realize that you are still a nice guy. I know this because you can't even get a younger woman to like you. The fact that you can only get older women is because they are too desperate to be in a relationship. Don Juans (real men) are rare. As DJs gets older, they will get the best women (younger ones). Women know this fact. This is why as they get older, they settle for nice guys because nice guys are easier to tame than Don Juans (real men).

Who you are, attract what kind of people who wants to be with you.

Younger women have more options than older women. It means that they aim for the best men they can find. This tells a lot about your personality. Your life is your reflection of your mindset.

If you aim to give a perfect image about yourself to every woman, then you will only be rejected. By not showing any vulnerability, you are also not talking in women's language which is: to feel. Why would she be with you if you can't even feel all sort of emotions. Why would she be comfortable in you if you can't even be comfortable in your own feelings? In order for intimacy to begin, she must feel comfortable around you.

We're giving you these advices based upon our own experiences. We've been though that phase in life. But you keep debating us. If you really want to how to be good with women, then you must be willing to let go those poisonous beliefs you hold so dear.

Arrogance will seep though your sub-communications (non-verbal communications such as body language, tone of voice, even on how you react to everything she says). Women are better than than us at perceiving nonverbal communications. This is why eliminating arrogance and any desperation is necessary to attract women.

If a woman is attracted to us, she wants someone who is not easily attainable (being a challenge). It means that we can't brag about our greatness. This challenge will ensure her to think about us when we're not around. This kind of investment in her part will keep the attraction alive. There are other investments that will keep her attraction alive but I just want to focus on why we must not be arrogant.

Arrogance kills attraction while true confidence attracts women. Lose your arrogance and keep your confidence and you will start to notice big difference in your interactions with everyone.

I don't understand why you guys keep saying I'm arrogant. I'm far from arrogant - if anything, I don't appreciate myself enough when it comes to dating. I greatly struggle to approach women sometimes because I feel like I'm not good enough to fit their crazy demands


As far as your comments about older vs younger women go. It's an interesting question for me - I much much prefer the personality of women over 30 vs under 30 but I don't want someone older than me with kids. I need to find that happy balance of meeting someone who is mature/established/responsible but still is my age and has no kids. I find most early 20s women to be too stupid and immature for me

 

[bigdave17]

Could it be that you frequent places where such immature and stupid women tend to congregate?

What are you looking for and where do you go to find them?

I dunno if stupid is the right word. Even the ones I have met who were academically intelligent were just in a different place in life where it's difficult to relate/connect


I probably need to date someone as close to my age as possible. I'm sure I would get along great with an intelligent 26 or 27 year old woman with a good head on her shoulders so how do I go about doing this? The club scene is very difficult to even find exactly what I want and those women have impossible standards. Online dating is easy to find exactly what I want but those women have standards that's beyond impossible and is near other-worldly

 

[bigdave17]

I'm fairly certain you didn't achieve your own success by being a prototypical bar fly. The women you're looking for will frequent these places with their girlfriends from time to time as you might, but they aren't regulars. So stop looking for quality in the club scene. You're already fighting against odds that are against you if you expect to find such a woman in such a place. This is most likely the bulk of your frustrations.

I live in the suburbs though man

I don't see quality girls my age at work or at grocery stores. I only really see girls my age at gyms, bars, malls sometimes and that's about it

If you're as successful, as social and as physically attractive as you claim, there is nothing that these women should desire that should lead you into thinking they have impossible and other-worldly standards, short of them demanding the affection of millionaires, rock stars and male supermodels.

I am a good looking dude but it doesn't 100% translate over to pictures so it makes online dating very difficult. I'm about a 7.5 to 8/10 in pure facial appearance in real life but maybe a 6.5 to 7 in pictures online (face is everything with online dating, means way more than money, income, physique, social status or anything like that. If I was a 10/10 pure white guy, I would have no problems with online dating getting the 7 or 8 I want. I obviously wouldn't try with the 9s or 10s - those are the ones who want a movie star or professional athlete. They're not even happy with a regular 10/10 guy who earns a great income)

I tried online dating 4 or 5 years ago with just miserable results so it makes me really hesitant to try it again

You need to get into the minds of the type of women you want; what their habits are, where they go, how they socialize... even if this means befriending some of them. You need to know how and where to find your target audience and how to present yourself to them. Right now, it seems your advertising to the wrong crowd.

I see girls i would like to date - at the gym, bars and especially with online dating. Approaching them and getting them to go out with me on a date is just obscenely difficult. I try with the bars and have absolutely terrible results. I don't try with online because of my miserable results in the past and I don't try at gyms because of the insane difficulty level.

 

[touma.akagi]

I wholly agree. Friends into Lovers by Eric Edgemont puts it something like this: "The women in a man's life are a byproduct of his success in life." I misquoted, sure. But yes, That is B U L L S H I T.

I'm in a similar situation (albeit earlier on the walk of life) where I'm happy with life but have a relatively nonexistent dating life

 

[bigdave17]

3 rejections? Is this correct?

You've made like 20 threads complaining over 3 rejections.

Dear oh deary me. The entire bloody forum is saturated with "the market is sh1t" type messages now from someone who's entire game can be encapsulated in one single 20 minute sarge. Hence, that's what the forum is discussing. And it's completely draining.

There really should be some sort of limit on amount of threads a new member can make.

but dude I'm a 29 year old guy with everything going for me


I should be naturally running into dating opportunities with how social and busy my life is. I shouldn't have to cold approach - which is an insanely difficult proposition

 

[touma.akagi]

You're first problem is that you care so much that women don't appreciate you for having those attributes. The fact that you care so much shows that you are doing this for women and not for yourself. This is neediness, plain and simple. You should do these things for yourself. \
Reevaluate your priorities and see if you are doing this for you or women.

He did do it for himself. He's not necessarily angry that bettering himself didn't get him results, he's merely pointing out that a ton of men push getting your **** together as the means of getting women, and that it fixes itself through self-improvement, and that he has lived the proof that it isn't so.

Besides, even if he *did* do it supposedly "for women" at first, it's not like any given woman would think he did it just for women. If that was the case, no confident, self-made man would be valued by women at all. It's perfectly fine for someone to improve with the motive of women at first but then find that they can just enjoy the benefits of himself later

 

[touma.akagi]

I understand that but I'm not the same as everybody else. My struggles are not the same as everyone else. Your advice probably works for a lot of people but I'm not sure how much it works for me

This is probably the best summary of this entire forum that I've ever read.

 

[Kevin85]

Your personality is the real problem.

If you approach women like you present yourself here on the forum it's clear you are arrogant, which is different than being confident. It's the way you brag about your money and looks.

It's not ALL about money and looks but it helps A LOT, not getting laid is really an achievement.

You are talking about 'struggles' even though you don't have them except for one thing; women. It seems to me you really never had a really bad day in your life. What do you think guys with average looks and 10% of your money have to go through?

But anyways, what you need to do is just be more humble.

 

[bigdave17]

He did do it for himself. He's not necessarily angry that bettering himself didn't get him results, he's merely pointing out that a ton of men push getting your **** together as the means of getting women, and that it fixes itself through self-improvement, and that he has lived the proof that it isn't so.

Besides, even if he *did* do it supposedly "for women" at first, it's not like any given woman would think he did it just for women. If that was the case, no confident, self-made man would be valued by women at all. It's perfectly fine for someone to improve with the motive of women at first but then find that they can just enjoy the benefits of himself later

I love love LOVE being extremely successful/attractive/healthy/having a great lifestyle/etc.... and I would want to live like that even if I was asexual. Hell, I would probably be more successful and accomplished if I was asexual because I wouldn't have the frustrations of dating to hold my mind back

 

[bigdave17]

Your personality is the real problem.

If you approach women like you present yourself here on the forum it's clear you are arrogant, which is different than being confident. It's the way you brag about your money and looks.

It's not ALL about money and looks but it helps A LOT, not getting laid is really an achievement.

You are talking about 'struggles' even though you don't have them except for one thing; women. It seems to me you really never had a really bad day in your life. What do you think guys with average looks and 10% of your money have to go through?

But anyways, what you need to do is just be more humble.

I come from a very mediocre family as far as wealth goes. My parents didn't have much growing up (although they were wonderful parents). Everything i have, I've worked and taught myself. Financial management, I've taught myself

I'm very grateful at how well the rest of my life is going. I just don't understand why dating is so unbelievably difficult brother

 

[Bible_Belt]

what you need to do is just be more humble.

You nailed it. OP needs humility. He comes off as vain and shallow. He'll beg for answers, but like all of the chronic problem guys here, he will never go do something difficult to fix the problem - that's not the answer he wants.

Martial arts will teach humility. Pick one, then pay money so everyone there can kick your ass, because you are the new guy. And then keep going back for more. Eventually, someone else new will show up and you won't be the worst one there. As the years go by, and this process continues, the guys who got there before you will drop out, and you will find yourself near the top, sometimes even teaching the class. That's what happened to me. Over the years, I saw a steady stream of new guys show up for their first night and inevitably get humbled by real fighters. At least 90% of those guys, we never saw again. Their ego couldn't take it. Humility is a difficult lesson for most men.

 

[Wilko]

Well, for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure that location and logistics have had a much bigger impact on my success with women than my net worth or body fat percentage. Could be some overall decline in the market, but with so many confounding variables you can never really know.

 

[Von]

You nailed it. OP needs humility. He comes off as vain and shallow. He'll beg for answers, but like all of the chronic problem guys here, he will never go do something difficult to fix the problem - that's not the answer he wants.

Martial arts will teach humility. Pick one, then pay money so everyone there can kick your ass, because you are the new guy. And then keep going back for more. Eventually, someone else new will show up and you won't be the worst one there. As the years go by, and this process continues, the guys who got there before you will drop out, and you will find yourself near the top, sometimes even teaching the class. That's what happened to me. Over the years, I saw a steady stream of new guys show up for their first night and inevitably get humbled by real fighters. At least 90% of those guys, we never saw again. Their ego couldn't take it. Humility is a difficult lesson for most men.

He comes off as pretentious... 3 girls is enough to make him bounce off? it's like he expect things to be perfect FOR HIM. I hope he doesnt approach in this manner: Hey girl, I am the best car salesman in the State... I made 120 000$ just this year with my Honda Accord techniques.... 1) Car salesman have bad reputation, which include lying 2) She doesnt care you in sales 3) salesman are at the lowest spectrum of society, heck sales in general is at the bottom 4) People in Sales even if they have ''no status'' they have the most income earning potential... and yes we are professionnals (between sales people especially).... so you can't approach and say you in Sales, you have to be funny and professionnal about it

Btw... people who does ''market trend analysis''.... you can't really to any make studies unless you have a strong analysis based on a representative sample, with low margin of errors (under 1.5%).

Let's say you need 10% of the population to have a good sample.

So you live in a suburban area of 100 000 people. 52% should be female = 52 000 female, 48 000 male

Credible survey analysis look at 10% sample to give market analysis or trends.

You sample 10% of the females = 5 200 females.

In short, before OP can say anything about the market... he needs to approach 5 200 females.

Nobody likes arrogant or pretentious

 

[RichardTheFrog]

He comes off as pretentious... 3 girls is enough to make him bounce off? it's like he expect things to be perfect FOR HIM. I hope he doesnt approach in this manner: Hey girl, I am the best car salesman in the State... I made 120 000$ just this year with my Honda Accord techniques.... 1) Car salesman have bad reputation, which include lying 2) She doesnt care you in sales 3) salesman are at the lowest spectrum of society, heck sales in general is at the bottom 4) People in Sales even if they have ''no status'' they have the most income earning potential... and yes we are professionnals (between sales people especially).... so you can't approach and say you in Sales, you have to be funny and professionnal about it

Btw... people who does ''market trend analysis''.... you can't really to any make studies unless you have a strong analysis based on a representative sample, with low margin of errors (under 1.5%).

Let's say you need 10% of the population to have a good sample.

So you live in a suburban area of 100 000 people. 52% should be female = 52 000 female, 48 000 male

Credible survey analysis look at 10% sample to give market analysis or trends.

You sample 10% of the females = 5 200 females.

In short, before OP can say anything about the market... he needs to approach 5 200 females.

Nobody likes arrogant or pretentious

When did you elect yourself as such a wise man?

What have YOU ever done?