i hate cheating GF

[Fenderules]

9 months in she pulls a bunch of crap on me and tells me she cheated.

Then shes telling me i need to "grow up" and deal with it and have an open relationship because im imature

I bought her tickets to a show and here she ****s one of the band members while i am upstairs looking for her while the show is going on. Then i go warm up the car and she goes for seconds while im waiting 20 minutes for her


****ing ***** man i fell like crap. First it was great and she tells me she loves me and then all this bull**** happens,

this is my first serious relationship and I have learned a lot from it. I am not going to be as trusting again, the next women will have to earn it rather then take it for granted.

 

[Fenderules]

on the other hand i sure learned how the supposed word "love" can hurt, and it hurts like hell, more then really anything i'v encourntered but its a learning process

 

[KontrollerX]

My condolences bro.

We've all been through this nasty horrible sh!t and somehow made it through and you will as well so long as you are completely done with this cvnt and take care not to fall for any possible emotional manipulation attempts to draw you back into her web of deceit only to betray you and dump you again for good measure incase she feels she hasn't done enough harm to you and hasn't gotten her full ego boost from being a scumbag of a human joke.

Any crocodile tears from her or pleas for forgiveness and reconciliation must be met by you with a stone cold heart.

The b!tch made her choice and gets no second chances.

You won't be second best for her sloppy seconds.

 

[Vendetta081789]

My condolences bro.

We've all been through this nasty horrible sh!t and somehow made it through and you will as well so long as you are completely done with this cvnt and take care not to fall for any possible emotional manipulation attempts to draw you back into her web of deceit only to betray you and dump you again for good measure incase she feels she hasn't done enough harm to you and hasn't gotten her full ego boost from being a scumbag of a human joke.

Any crocodile tears from her or pleas for forgiveness and reconciliation must be met by you with a stone cold heart.

The b!tch made her choice and gets no second chances.

You won't be second best for her sloppy seconds.

Well put as always.

There's no room in our lives for cheaters. It hurts yes. I feel for you. My girl just left me for another woman. Believe me, I felt the burn. But we must remain strong and fight the war of love. Good luck out there mate.

 

[TheVirtualMind]

My girl just left me for another woman.

Now that is really going below the belt...Sorry to hear about that man.

I know how you feel Fender. It's hard to stay positive, but man, when you can look back and think "what the hell was I so hyped up about HER for?" it's a great feeling.

 

[DJVladdy]

What's up guys. I'm not gonna judge you or your gf, you are a man you'll handle the situation im sure.

BUT I have a question about something I've recently noticed (alot):

In the real world, just like in this thread I see boys, guys, men... hurt, regret, feel, love, being romantic, emotional TOUCHY-FEELY...... even the alpha males, so-called.

Even here, in this thread I see many words "condolences", "tears", "love", "burn"......

My question is THIS:

Since we have been taught by society to view women as fragile, emotional, and vulnerable, why do I think that women are NOT touch-feely, like men are? Am I wrong? It seems to me that WOMEN are the "animals" ones who think with their pvssies.

Things like love, and caring, and nurture (when talking about WOMEN)... why does it seem to me, that these concepts have flown out of the wondow??
OR... were they never here in the first place, and females were always this..... *cough* "pragmatic".

P.S. and this is coming from someone that others would point fingers and say: thats a bad-boy! But even me - man, this makes my stomach turn.


I'll say more if you guys respond. Thanks.

 

[Kris Hansen]

DJVladdy:
I'm going to suggest that the reason you believe men and women feel things differently is that they do feel things differently. I'm not going to justify your broad (and sexist) generalizations about which feelings with a response, but I will say that our emotional reactions to specific situations are always different. It isn't just along the male/female gender line, either; every single human being alive reacts to stimulus in different ways. Understanding that no single person will feel the exact same way about the exact same event will take you one step closer to full adaptability. You'll begin to expect the unexpected, because _all_ emotional responses are unexpected.

Fenderules:
I'm going through something similar with my ex-girlfriend of a year and a half. We actually did have an open relationship, but it seems that the "growing up" thing is fairly universal. I honestly think it's a cop-out for the real reason. She's just not that into you anymore. And that's perfectly OK. I honestly wish more people would just tell me that, instead of drag things out for a while before coming up with a lame excuse.

HB: Hey Kris...
Kris: Yeah?
HB: I'm really not all that into you.
Kris: Ok. *looks around the bar* Next!

It's harder with the excuses, I think, because you start to second-guess yourself. You wonder what it is that you've done wrong. The thing is, you haven't really done anything wrong. The two of you were incompatible, and you parted ways. Painful, but that's just the way it works.

I don't think you should hold back on your trust, though. Especially not in a long-term relationship. I think mutual trust, respect and compromise are what create meaningful long-term relationships, and you can't hold back on the trust because you're jaded. You have to risk being hurt if you want to get the most out of your next long-term experience with a woman.

What I would suggest instead is getting tough to the breakup. Have a couple of shorter relationships (a lot shorter) and break up with them. You'll find the pain gets a little less each time. And when it does come time to do the breakup, I'd suggest "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that into you," as the only viable excuse.

 

[zinc64]

9 months in she pulls a bunch of crap on me and tells me she cheated.

Then shes telling me i need to "grow up" and deal with it and have an open relationship because im imature

I bought her tickets to a show and here she ****s one of the band members while i am upstairs looking for her while the show is going on. Then i go warm up the car and she goes for seconds while im waiting 20 minutes for her


****ing ***** man i fell like crap. First it was great and she tells me she loves me and then all this bull**** happens,

this is my first serious relationship and I have learned a lot from it. I am not going to be as trusting again, the next women will have to earn it rather then take it for granted.

Damn,hat a rotten *****. You should told her that she's a filthy ***** because that's what she is.

 

[Technical1]

DJVladdy:
I'm going to suggest that the reason you believe men and women feel things differently is that they do feel things differently. I'm not going to justify your broad (and sexist) generalizations about which feelings with a response, but I will say that our emotional reactions to specific situations are always different. It isn't just along the male/female gender line, either; every single human being alive reacts to stimulus in different ways. Understanding that no single person will feel the exact same way about the exact same event will take you one step closer to full adaptability. You'll begin to expect the unexpected, because _all_ emotional responses are unexpected.

Well, that paragraph sure said a whole lot of nothing!

DJVladdy's point is also something I've noticed. I understand it like this, getting back to evolution:

For a man to spread his genes, and have genetic success, he just needs a womb and a mother for his kids. Women fulfill the same role for us, regardless of who the woman is. Therefore we get complacent and lovey-dovey over a woman that really hasnt done much for us.

Because the woman depends on the man for security, she is evolutionarily programmed to keep scanning the horizon for a better mate, like computer dorks reading about the latest computer to come out. Her security and her food supply depended upon her man, during our evolution. So she is playing the mating game in a much more cutthroat way because, it is ultimately much more important to her. Her whole security and livelihood is based on her man, (in our evolutionary history), whereas we just needed a womb and after that a mother.

So they are more cutthroat in exploring their options and they do things like branch-swinging. They have evolved so that their entire existence revolves around competition on the sexual market-place. This is obvious when I look at my sister, how much her life has always depended on her social role and her "mating trajectory" so to speak, whatever that implied at each given time in her life, it was ALWAYS more meaningful to her than it was for me, for example.

You guys know the part of us men that takes part in competitions and wants to be tough, get in fights, kick a55, show people whose boss, win at games and climb the corporate ladder? That part of woman's personality is missing... instead, they have a cutthroat instinctual programming to GET THE KIND OF GUY who wins contests and is tough and powerful. We build it, they chase it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I bought her tickets to a show and here she ****s one of the band members while i am upstairs looking for her while the show is going on. Then i go warm up the car and she goes for seconds while im waiting 20 minutes for her


That is quite the lady you have there!

She's obviously a ho, but it is your fault for loving a ho. Like the song says, 'You gotta let a ho be a ho.' This is no woman to love.

But fwiw, I like hos. They can be fun. Whatever it is that you have not done in bed, this girl would probably do it. Surely if she is fvcking band guys at a concert, then she must at least have a bi side, right? Tell her she owes you a couple 3soms as penance for her infidelity. Another good idea would be to tie her up and beat her while you call her a dirty slvt, filthy wh0re, etc. She'll love it, and might actually respect you afterward. Then use her like the ho she is; just don't get attached. She is, after all, just a ho.

 

[Vendetta081789]

Now that is really going below the belt...Sorry to hear about that man.

Thanks for the sympathy. Knowing that I really got torched and I wasn't just being an overly sensitive child, is somewhat reassuring.

It is a good feeling when you are finally over someone. The downside is, it isn't always over so shortly.

I've noticed to types of Males on these forums.

-Males who think women are for sex, and treat them as such
-Males who want women as companions, and view them as such

I'm not saying either one is right or wrong, or taking either sides. I personally have done both. I have fvcked a woman, and left her the next day. I have loved a woman, and felt her crushing blows to my heart. It's sometimes hard to tell what the woman is really after. In the end, you just have to move on man...

 

[Last Man Standing]

****ing ***** man i fell like crap. First it was great and she tells me she loves me and then all this bull**** happens,

Hors love every-body and no one at the same time!!!!

Say "No" to hos!!!


.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah thanks for the support, I havent been on hear in a while but I appreciate your responses.

I tried being **** friends with her until i fidn something better but she still tries and plays games so im pretty much going to cut contract as much as possible, even though I am going to run into her a lot since her friends are my friends.

But yeah she can go **** some other poor sap from now on, and he can dela with her bull

 

[ezily]

Wow Fenderules your gf was a massive wh0re. I hope you left immediately after she told you what she did and after giving her some strong words. I understand why you're upset but look on the bright side. You were dating a huge ho and living a lie. It's not worth it and you should be happy you found out the truth.

 

[DonGorgon]

There are many hos in good girl's clothing around and you need to be able to sniff them out...

A wise man said many times - "Don't treat a ho like a house wife, It only makes her angry."

 

[tick37]

This song is for you. Listen and read. You'll feel better because you're going to rise above this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyUmZnzdsoI

 

[Fuglydude]

Man that's harsh...but like these guys are saying it can only get better from here.

I think the biggest issue here is you put up with too much sh*t...

THe less crap you put up with, the better you'll be with chics. As I say, I'm not an a-hole...I just have a very low bullsh*t threshold.

I'm from Alberta too and we got no shortage of hot women here. You're young, summers' around the corner, and there's lotsa hotties around, so be happy and enjoy life.

 

[tick37]

I hope she's a cheating ex-girlfriend now.

 

[Dante1a]

I just returned from two years work on myself (learning to attract and succeed with women) and also learning how to be a man. There has been a major shift since then and I plan to post on this board about my experiences soon.

I came back to this board after and long absense. Fenderules, your post was the first I have come to.

Two things (offered with respect and hope you'll consider them) -

I'm not sorry for you.

An Italian proverb reads "The promises of a beautiful woman are written in the sand." - In other words, never COUNT on a woman.

Don't get me wrong, I love women. They are a pleasure. But, just like a musical instrument, you have to play them. (And I don't mean cheat or abuse them in anyway.)

This girl simply ceased to be attracted to you.

If she f***ked a band member at a show, it's because he attracted her through social proof and the EXCITING aspect of being with him. - Causing her to act against logic and acceptable behavior. (A woman is hard wired to be attracted to certain things.)

She did what she is programmed to do. She went for the ALPHA. (- I know this is hard to read)

Let's look at the breakdown of the musician/groupie dynamic.

Traveling Musician: Is the center of attention.. Is considered "cool"..Will be gone tomorrow..Is confident..

Groupie(or any female fan with realized sexual interest): Craves being the center of attention..Craves being "cool"..(this next could differ)Either wants to female social proof of being "mated" to the musician (thus serial groupies) or that one in particular (wanting to mate with the ALPHA of her group.)

So while this guy was being cheered and applauded on stage, being inundated with fans, making money, and f***king your gf, you were looking for her..and then warming up the car?

The ALPHA gets the girl, the praise, and the money while the BETA is servant.

Now, as harsh as that last section sounds, what can you do about it now?

The ALPHA makes decisions when everyone else is just following along.

If you haven't yet, get your stuff from her place (or hers out of yours)..DO THIS NOW!

2nd..Cut her out of your life..RIGHT NOW! (Tell her that she is no longer in your life.. Tell her that you will not listen to or not read any messages from her from here on out..and DON'T). Don't call her..don't accept calls from her or her friends..AT ALL! - Talk about changing the dynamic!!

3rd..Realize that you are worthy of other women's attention. Not only women, but hot women. Women who won't do this to you.. because, do you honestly want a girl who isn't excited by you, anyway? I wouldn't even waste the time.

4th..Enjoy yourself..this girl gave you a couple of gifts. You learning from this experience (and using it for good) is a gift. Also, you know what not to do.

Women are FANTASTIC. Have fun finding the one you want..all the others can go on thier way..

Go for quality women. Make them prove it..just like you have to prove it to them.

At the end of all the "That sucks, man" and advice replies (like this one), the only worthwhile question will be "What next?" Why not ask it, answer it and begin NOW?

Best of luck mate.

 

[traffic]

Then shes telling me i need to "grow up" and deal with it and have an open relationship because im imature

I would have thrown her ass out the door before she got the words "grow up" out of her mouth.

Then I'd kick the entire bands ass.