I give up. And it's not because I can't play the game.

[CaptainJ]

Well it's time you focus on getting muscular and looking like a man, for this is one of the core factors in approaching a woman. Check out stronglifts.com - the sosuave.com of weightlifting - and look at the routine. You must take up weightlifting, find a gym with a power cage. Weightlifting turns an average joe into a hot stud, and you definetly get more IOIs. Hell even if your game is sh1t, girls are willing to give you a 2nd chance just because you look manly.

Also you need to dress properly too, so check out www.kinowear.com - the sosuave.com of fashion.

Maybe you need to do bootcamp as well, because you may not actually be as good at the game as you think you are. It sounds like you have low self esteem and determination, which means you need to work on building confidence when it comes to girls.

BUT YOU MUST START WEIGHTLIFTING.

 

[EFFORT]

That's why I'm so frustrated... it's like I conquered other aspects of my life but this is so hard for me to get. While less established guys get attention and women. I dunno... I need some sleep.

check your pms

 

[Snow Plowman]

How can you give up when you haven't even started...

You sound like 80% of the community who never actually did anything, except play with a few techniques. An I say this because you lack massive experience. This has nothing to do with IOIs...

What are your standards?
What are your boundaries?
How do you want your lifestyle to be?
How do women fit into your lifestyle?

The real question is, ARE YOU ACTUALLY DEVELOPING YOURSELF...

Are You Even A Social Person?
From the sound of your post it doesn't seem like your anywhere near being a guy who is CREATING EXPERIENCES. When you show up all hell breaks loose as your the one meeting and socializing with everyone.

Are You Even Living!?!?
Most people get into this stuff an treat it like this big tough thing. When really it's very small in the big scheme of things. Majority of people cut other things out of there life to add this area into there life. When truly meeting women is about bringing her into your reality and overall lifestyle. But how can you even do this if your not even living.

Again your just sounding like all the other people who never actually attempted this...How many women have you approached up to this point?

The proof is in the pudding, just because you intellectually know push/pull, kino, etc doesn't mean you actually understood how it possibly fits into "Who You Are". Your development will clearly show in the feedback that you get from women because when you get those CLICKS, you see constant consistency.

Chicks coming up to you, demanding the want to have sex, trying to hookup with you, etc has NOTHING to do with looks. It is the depth of the man there looking at. The point I'm at now is a person who knows himself so clearly that for me to talk to a woman...

Is like kicking open the door of the office meeting, slamming my briefcase on the desk and showing everyone the requirements of what it will take to come along with me.

RAW, UNCUT, and BLUNT MASCULINE ENERGY...

When I hear people talking about quitting or focusing on very small things I tend to not want to post because they just don't get it, they haven't really even begun to follow there journey.

P.S...Last year I thought I had reached my peak. I was SO WRONG as I spent a whole year looking at myself deeply which caused a massive shift in how I go about living. It's a neverending, constant growth, and one of the byproducts is women want you.

 

[Demystify]

A guy like me who isn't ugly but also not hot get nothing.

I definitely agree with this. It seems like average looking guys DEFINITELY have it the worst. I'm an average looking guy and I've had so much trouble regardless of what I do with my style/appearance. If a girl can get an average looking guy than she's going to know that she can get a guy who is better than average looking, and thus go for that guy instead of you.

From what I've observed:
Average looking girls like HOT guys
Hot girls like HOT guys
Ugly girls like UGLY or HOT guys
I've actually even seen a few hot girls with ugly guys surprisingly. But the most consistent one is definitely average looking girls with hot guys, though. They definitely need that hot guy to bring them back up and make them feel like their hot instead of average.

So no one likes average looking guys. And believe me I've tried the whole peacocking stand out appearance thing. It does not work.

Edit: As an average looking guy I'm close to giving up too. I'm going to become a full-time goth soon and see if I can manage to pickup goth girls. Wish me luck.

 

[flint]

Okay first off there's a few things in here that have been said that I think are literally ridiculous. You guys claiming that you have it the worst if you're "Average looking" are full of it, I gaurentee you there's guys on this forum who are ugly and wish they were just average.

Secondly, to the OP, you're lying to yourself and everyone here when you say you're going to give up on women. Anyone who EVER says that on these forums really mean "Okay I need a pep talk someone motivate me" because as a man, there is no way you'll ever give this up. It's not in your nature to give up on this.

Thirdly I'd suggest two things. For starters I'd double check that you really know what you're looking for first off. In other words, if you haven't really mastered figuring out IOI's yet, for all you know there could have been chicks at the place you went to that WERE giving you IOI's, but you don't know the material yet to realize that they were.

And finally I can't agree with Snow Plowman more. At least give this a legitimate try man. One of the most basic fundamental things you learn on this forum is that YOU NEED TO TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS. When you're going around in public places waiting for a girl to make something happen, realize that's what girls do/are supposed to do, not men. Men make it happen. Girls walk around all day and if they see a cute guy they simply hope he "conveniantly bumps into her". Men are supposed to say "Alright, I want that, let's go".

Honestly I'd like to see you start an approach journal/do a bootcamp man. That's the best way to get good at this cause you'll get direct feedback from the professionals here about what you're doing wrong.

Lastly I'm going to say that I don't mean to sound "holier than thou" because I'm not a DJ myself yet. It's hard and frusterating at times, and I know exactly where you are right now my man. But you've got to plow through it. I think one thing you could do to get better at this quicker is maybe find a wingman on this forum whose around the same level as you and just try and get better. That way you can both support each other, and plus it's always better to have someone along for the ride.

 

[zekko]

it's like I conquered other aspects of my life but this is so hard for me to get. QUOTE]
This is the key point I think. You've established yourself and have the rest of your life pretty well sorted out. This is the one aspect of your life left that you have to conquer. Now that you've got the other stuff out of the way you can focus on this.

There's a lot of material on this site to help you on your way (the DJ Bible and such). Study it, and other seduction material if you like. You are the perfect candidate for this to help you because it sounds like the one thing you are lacking is game. If you learn to improve your attitude and your social skills there will be no stopping you. Seriously, study the stuff on here about how to attract, you're just the kind of guy who can benefit from this stuff.

By the way, I consider myself an average looking guy. In fact, it's been said around here that something like 90% of guys are average looking guys (I might have that number a little off). Anyway, here's the point. Sometimes I'll go out and get lots of IOIs. Then another day I'll go out and I'll get nothing. What's the difference? Darned if I know. It's just that some days you'll get IOIs and sometimes you don't. If you have an off day you can't let that get you down.

 

[PlaysToWin]

It was amusing reading this because I feel like I am in the exact same situation. I almost had to double check I hadn't created a duplicate account and posted my feelings in my sleep.

I've read through plenty of these gurus and they say things like 'look out for a girl to flash you a smile or a glance or other IOI and when you get it, go over and say hello.' And it feels like bullsh!t because I never get any of that. So are these gurus full of sh!t or does their advice only apply to the top 10% looking guys or am I so unattractive that I don't qualify. These are the kinds of thoughts that go through my head.

I've kept a private journal of self-improvement and pickup since the start of the year. And I've tried going out approaching but it's so bloody hard. Cold approaches are much scarier than when a girl flashes you a smile and also it's hard to convince yourself that a girl is going to warm to you when she doesn't even acknowledge your existance when you walk right by her. It feels like guys get flashed IOIs all the time and that we aren't because we're just not good looking enough. And that because they won't give any IOIs, even if we do approach them they'll just think we're creepy and intrusive and it will be a waste of time. It's soooooo frustrating. So yeah I totally empathize with the OP.

I don't know... if a friend came to me with this problem, I know what advice I would give him:

1. Look harder, you may be getting IOIs and not noticing.
2. Dress nicer, look after yourself more, do something with your hair, etc. Everyone can work on their appearance and get those extra few points.
3. Improve your body language. Walk into a room like you own the place. Walk through the street as if knowing every girl has her eye on you. Ooze confidence. Also smile more.
4. Workout to improve your physicality.
5. Peacock a little. People are zombies and walk around without noticing 90% of the people they walk past. Give the girls something sparkly or unusual to get their attention and at least give them a chance to check you out.
6. Cold approach anyway. Because cold approaches work. If you you charm or seduce or amuse them with your personality and you are just an average looking guy, they will find something about you to be attracted to.

It's just so much easier giving advice than following it.

 

[r0cky]

How long have been actually sarging? most people quit after 3 months. Funny enough, real results begin after 3 or 4 months of pu practice.
"Success is always one step after failure". -Napolen Hill

 

[thedude4242]

woman tell me I am cute all the time and I have that bad boy look but it doesnt get me what people think it does. everyone thinks I got all kind of girls, both male and female. I am funny and great with people and socialize very well.

 

[Iceberg]

If a girl can get an average looking guy than she's going to know that she can get a guy who is better than average looking, and thus go for that guy instead of you.

Thanks to things I learned at this site, I haven't posted in a good 5, 6, 7 years...at least I think not. But reading this thread brought me out of retirement...

Not to sound harsh, because I'm trying to encourage you here, but that is complete and utter bulls***. Women don't operate like that. If you're average, and your girl is hot, she will justify your average appearance by the way you make her feel. Because you make her laugh, because you care, you're smart, adventurous, etc. They don't just walk around malls looking for hotter guys than you...at least not the ones you'd want to date.

From what I've observed:
Average looking girls like HOT guys
Hot girls like HOT guys
Ugly girls like UGLY or HOT guys

So no one likes average looking guys. And believe me I've tried the whole peacocking stand out appearance thing. It does not work.

That's 100% a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're telling yourself this to avoid the rejection that comes with asking women out. You tell yourself that they are out of your league so that way you're not feeling the pain that would come with trying to kick game to them.

Whether you're going for average or hot girls, for every 10 girls you try to mack, you might get 3 good responses. If you're walking around town projecting the message of "Hot girls don't like me", of course they're not gonna like you.

The reason I've been gone from this site so long is because once I began improving myself, and buying into the idea that I have value, and these girls would be LUCKY to date me, I stopped thinking about this stuff.

Once you've become the man you want to be, getting women becomes second nature because you're focus becomes "Am I the man I want to be?" Not, "Does she like me." I was just like you self-doubting guys in here...and once I became who I wanted to become, I naturally began assuming that ALL women liked me. I don't go around looking for "IOI"...I don't even know what that means...I don't need to see a woman flicking her hair, or trying to estimate her eye-contact levels...I just walk around under the assumption that women like me. And if I want her to like me, then she'll like me for sure.

So in summary, stop telling yourself that there are these invisible barriers that keep you from getting women. All you're doing is letting them dictate how your dating life plays out. In reality, you should be in charge of that. Not these imaginary hot women who don't like you in your hypothetical scenarios. Work out, learn a musical instrument, travel...become a man that you think will be irresistible to women, and they'll come. The most important thing is your own confidence.

 

[Special T]

In the downtown district of my city, you often see hot women walking the streets going to different bars and restaurants. The common factor betweeb all of them is that the dudes who they're with are like 6'1 or more. I work at night so this is something I see all the time. I'm taller than most females but I feel like I'm not tall enough to get a hit girl's attention.

 

[Special T]

I also have a major confidence issue about a female's sexual past. Since I had sex so many few times and an average chick that's been in a few LTRs done it hundreds or thousands of times... I feel inadequate. Like if I understood the game when I was a teenager and had a couple LTRs, I wouldn't care so much about it. A girl that has had sex so many times, what's so special about me? I won't be doing or showing her anything new. I think when I get better at this and have a relationship that lasts longer than a couple months, this won't bother me as much. But right now, just thinking about a girl doing it so many times really affects my confidence because I don't share the same experiences as her.

Does this make sense?

 

[Poonani Maker]

And I don't want to get women if/when I become a financial success. I want women because they find me attractive physically and mentally. Not because I'm driving a Maserati and live in a 5 bedroom house.

Sometimes I feel like I should've been born back in the 30's and grew up in the 40's.

I have this very same sentiment. Now that I AM a success, and COULD buy a better than average nice house, I'm having second thoughts because, Do I really want a woman to want me because of the house that I could GIVE them, the car that I could Give them, the Clothes/shoes that I could Give them. Why not ME that I could give them? Why can't they just RESPECT me as the MAN I am? THIS is why women should not be allowed in the military. They have no concept of RESPECT. No submission anymore, like in the 30s and 40s as you say.

They flaunt their childish ways, and abject disrespect daily, and step all over us, whether it's canceling a date you had planned at the last minute, wasting your time, and on and on and on.

Now that I'm successful, and women (who find out) Know about it, they Warm to me, they open up to me like NEVER before. Before, I had the same looks, the same ME, but now the proof is in the pudding - They KNOW FOR SURE that you've got $$, then they start "standing in your space" giving you the IOIs like gangbusters, and dropping convo with some other dude/woman and throwing her attention at YOU when you walk in the room. Joking with you. Putting on her "best face" because you're there.

It pisses me off!!!! I fvcking can't stand the SOCIALNESS of women, the "oh I can have him because my friends will think 'Wow she just hooked up with this doctor, lawyer, sheeeeees SET, I'm jealous' thinking pattern." THIS IS WHY I ATTEND CHURCH and am looking for a girl/woman who will Possibly NOT be this, the way a worldly instinctual woman might think. EVEN in church, the majority of women/college girls, wouldn't show interest in me, until word got around that "He's a ------ ------" (translated -- he could raise a family, no problem)."

FVCK THESE WH0RES!!!!! I HATE EM! and FVCK SEX! it's not that important. I've only have a Total connection conversationally and mind-to-mind with ONE woman in my life, my oneitis, and THAT was before I was successful. That's why I still love her. She helped me grow as a man. Our relationship was like brother and sister, but Deeper, more like Best fvckin Friends, you know, like when you were young, spent the night with, and played rolling around in the dirt with, and built stuff together.

 

[Special T]

If I am going to be a success with a woman, I have to accept how they are...but I hate how they are. Something's gotta change about my mindset.

 

[PlaysToWin]

I get the impression you have a rather pessimistic depressed outlook on life in general and not just with women. If this is true then you need to sort that out well before you start worrying about women.

 

[Special T]

No I'm optimistic about my career and focused on getting the body I want (basically getting a little bigger (20 more lbs).

You have to understand, ALL MY LIFE, I thought females become interested in guys because of the GUY...not because what the guy does or how much he makes. When I discovered this website, I started to understand women are VERY picky and selective and there's nothing a man can do but just accept it. Females have the upper hand because they're in demand. Just like how rich guys have the upper hand (even if they're snobs, abusers... he has that paper).

I will never understand how a woman can put up with a terrible guy just because he drives a lamborghini, rather than a guy that has a good job and treats her well (but still staying a true DJ).

 

[Jules Verne]

Women are meant to be loved, not understood.

This keeps men sane.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Dude, why are you waiting for a woman to be attracted to you before you go talk to her?

Nailed it. My first thoughts upon reading the title of this thread before I even opened it were, "You're doing it wrong."

The purpose of this community is to build attraction, not wait for it to develop before talking to somebody.

You have to understand, ALL MY LIFE, I thought females become interested in guys because of the GUY...not because what the guy does or how much he makes.

That IS why females become interested.

Personality will make up for a myriad of shortcomings. Especially if you're funny. If you can make women laugh on a regular basis, you can have three heads, and they'll still be into you.

Charisma is the most powerful tool you can have. Forget money and cars and just work on being interesting.

 

[Snow Plowman]

You have to understand, ALL MY LIFE, I thought females become interested in guys because of the GUY...not because what the guy does or how much he makes. When I discovered this website, I started to understand women are VERY picky and selective and there's nothing a man can do but just accept it. Females have the upper hand because they're in demand. Just like how rich guys have the upper hand (even if they're snobs, abusers... he has that paper).

How'd you come to this conclusion? Through personal experience? Because I can't comeprehend.

I have certain standards and there is a boundary in my mind that "I will not compromise my standards, just to say I got laid." So when I roll up on these chicks they have to show me instantly that they make the cut. This is so deep within me that approaching...

IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR HER TO MEET ME

Who I am is FASCINATING so her just being in my presence is such an amazing thing for her. I've given her an opportunity and now she's trying to win me over because she wants to meet my standards.

This thing is so deep that I can't even explain. I'm being blunt because your reality is just shot. You have the ability to meet a woman ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. You think a chick could nonchalantly approach 10 different guys without some CHODE trying to label her as a slut. That in itself gives you the option to CHOOSE.

A woman can only choose the men that approached her or she's selectively approached. A man can meet women ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. Your not in my shoes but I can't express how far I've come, women are fuking waiting for me to come up to them. There hoping and dying for me to give them that chance...

An at times some are disappointed that I never even got a chance to talk to them. I don't say sh!t to BRAG because that stupid and pointless, I say things to snap people out of there chode beliefs. In the end all I'll say is the last time I went out...

This black chick walked by while I was dancing ALONE so I just brought her in to give her the OPPORTUNITY to meet me. This chick paraded me for a bit an took me to smoking area where we spoke about her fake breast as I test them. During that time 2 black guys came into conversation since they seen what I did, at the sametime 3 german chicks walk by who I chat too (I love eastern euro women so germans are closeby haha)

What ends up happening because the chick doesn't want to LOSE HER OPPORTUNITY she says "O that's my song lets go" and grabs me from the german chick and all I hear is "Wow someone is jealous" as the german chick realizes she as been cblocked.

Who's in demand? The 1%er of males...

What you need is field experience and real shifts in your reality. Reading PU, hearing PU instructors and nonchalantly dabbling with this will not produce any significant results.

 

[corrector]

A woman can only choose the men that approached her or she's selectively approached. A man can meet women ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. Your not in my shoes but I can't express how far I've come, women are fuking waiting for me to come up to them. There hoping and dying for me to give them that chance...

Okay -- so you are getting passive IOI's then? That is exaclty what the OP is complaining about that he is not getting.