I finally went out with her...

[.illadelph]

I'd like to let u all know how it went...please take the time to read and give me insight on my situation...

I finally went out with the girl that I met through a girl that i work with.

on wednesday, i told her that we should do something friday...

so friday comes along and i finally decided to call her up around 6:00 pm....she lives about 15-20 minutes from me, so i tell her that i'll pick her up and we'l go bowling...

she told her parents that i was one of her girl friends, so that she could go out...so i waited outside in the car for her to come...idiot me makes the first mistake of the night, by not getting out of the car to greet her..give her a hug...ect...so she gets in the car...idiot me took a long time to get the door unlocked...lol..she laughed and called me retarded..(something she said all night..in a playful way)..anyway, we get to the bowling alley, and find out that the lanes are all full and we'd have to wait an hour...we didn't have the time, so we end up playing laser tag..i paid for her...but she payed for arcades..so we broke even...

we had a good time....so after that we went to starbucks for some frapps...we bought seperately...i didn't consider this a date so i decided not to pay for her drink...*i'm an idiot for not opening doors for her though...i kept forgetting, and when i tried getting in front of her to do it, finlaly..it felt akward..* anyway, we had a good chat for almost an hour..just talking about our current situations in our lives..got to know her a little better...after that, around 11:00, i took her home.

once i reached her house, i wanted to make a move, but i was so shy at that point, i didn't even give her a hug...man was that stupid...anyway, she says"i had a lot of fun"...and then she left...

when i got home, i instant messaged her...let me post some ofthe convo...

[11:57] me: lauren is so borin'...can't even score in a kiddie basketball net...she's askin' for sex, but doesn't have to yet...in the back of the vette, she's sportin' a vest..with a chill arm around her supporting the rest...
[11:57] me: wow that was gay..
[11:57] her: HAHAHA
[11:57] me: i felt like rhyming
[11:57] her: biotch i'll own you
[11:57] me: you'll pwn me in what way?
[11:58] her: this kid named khoi thinks he's got some game. but he's just a boy, boys are all the same. he lies too much & tells me he lost his keys but all he really wants to do is use the bathroom-ie.
[11:59] me: ohhhh snapp..that was good
[11:59] me: , but i'll merk you
[11:59] her: haha go ahead
[12:02] me: this 'lil girl laur thinks she's so hard, gangster?? what, u can run in new york? i'll screw your kiddie rhymes up, little dime, what? you got nothing, giddie up..ya times up...
[12:02] her: so you think ur all cool, go back to school FOOL. your rhme game is wack, and you're gay cuz you're a mack. pimpin' all these girls, i dont know if u got room for me in yo world. but WAIT - maybe you can't handle me, i know i'm your asian girl fantasy.
[12:03] her: hahahaha
[12:03] her: ur good
[12:04] me: maybe, but hate me or love me...i'm still one above ya, i'll hug ya and say, that was just play....we should get together somewhere and take it to second base....lololol
[12:04] her: oh boy. oh khoi. you're kinda sick wit it. but when push comes to shove, are you willing to get wit it. by "it" i mean me, do you like what you see? cuz if that's the case, then start pressin the pedal on yo pace.
[12:06] me: i see...i'm a slow starter, but once i set the pace, you'll be on the tracks beggin' me to slow it down, but hey...if u want it u can have it, open invitation...i''m makin' this clear...if u want it then take it....
[12:06] her: hahahaha
[12:06] me: haha
[12:06] me: niiiiice
[12:06] me: you're pretty sick with it
[12:07] her: i've never been the girl who initiates. i've never asked a guy out on a date. but then again, i never hesitate...if the guy is the one to the first move make.
[12:07] her: ur sicker wit it :]
[12:07] her: i rearranged the last line wrong
[12:08] her: so it would rhyme haha
[12:08] me: lol
[12:08] me: what can i say? i'm gifted
[12:08] me: flow forever
[12:08] her: HAHAHAHA
[12:09] her: im pretty gifted for an asian girl too
[12:09] her: most asian girls dont rap
[12:09] her: HAHAHAHA
[12:09] me: i didn't know u could throw those together in such a short time tho
[12:09] her: hahaha
[12:09] me: i'm diggin' it
[12:10] her: :] thaaaaanks
[12:10] me: in you ropinion...do i come off as shy
[12:10] her: uhmmm
[12:10] her: kinda
[12:12] her: its cute :]
[12:12] her: at least ur not obnoxious like me
[12:12] me: that's b/c i am kinda..but i'm trying to break out of it
[12:12] me: lol, cute huh
[12:12] me: you're not obnoxious
[12:12] her: yepp
[12:13] her: haha oh
[12:13] her: i am
[12:13] her: i laugh too much
[12:13] her: haha
[12:13] me: okay, then yea
[12:13] her: ahaha thanks
[12:16] her: so what was ur first impression of me
[12:17] me: a chill, nice, refreshing girl
[12:17] me: knows how to dress, and look pretty
[12:17] her: hahahaha
[12:17] me: how 'bout me?
[12:18] her: A HOT HOLLISTER ASIAN
[12:18] her: hahaha
[12:18] her: and u seem really nice
[12:18] her: like, NOT a ****
[12:18] her:]
[12:18] me: that's goood
[12:18] her: yeahh i knooow

it was fun...she wants me to just go for it...and i need to do it...

i need the confidence to stop worrying about it being my first time, but actually doing it...hooking up isn't that hard, is it?

the next time we hang out...she's gonna wannna be more sexual with me....

i mean, i barely kino'ed her tonight....but that has to change soon...she wants me and i want her....i guess it's time to make it happpen...

she called me after that chat. and we talked for an hour or so....i guess she's really starting to feel me on a deeper level...

***thing is...she told me her last boyfriend was sort of a prude..and she didn't want to be the first to be with him....well i'm prude and i didn't have th eguts to tell her that...i felt really bad...man this is tougher than i thought***

please give your insight on my position....thanks for taking the time to read..

 

[21Romeo11B]

Hey man there's a few things i've noticed about you. One you down yourself all the time. "i didn't open the door for her." GOSH I"M SUCH AN IDIOT. -napolean. Seriously bro no big deal if you didn't open a few doors for her. So you didn't make a move when you dropped her off. So what dude. The sun will come out the next day. SECOND what is it with going on a date, then IMing each other, then talking on the phone for an hour. Bro, that's a long time to be one on one with anybody. And it takes away some of the fun in dating. Think of how much you talked about on the phone when you could have been face to face with her. THIRD you have to gain a little control of your thoughts. If you keep thinking about the BIG KISS it'll feel so huge an event that you will be too nervous. And you make look like such a dork all night worrying about kissing her that she'll be totally turned off.

Bottom line you didn't do anything bad on your date. Of course there are some things you can improve on but everyone has things to improve on. Advice on the kiss: lean up to her and give her a small lip kiss. Nothing but a three second kiss. Go for more after that or just call it good from there. That way it's not a huge sweep her off her feet kiss but it's not a grandma kiss.

You're doing great, just think of all the guys that are single because they are to scared to ask a girl out.

 

[Disconnect]

Please take the following points as constructive criticism:

so i tell her that i'll pick her up and we'l go bowling...

1) I never tried bowling with only one other person, so I don't know whether it's fun, but you should have reserved an alley over phone in advance. That is one of those things that shows a bit of 'sophistication' that a number of guys your age don't have. She'd see that you took on the responsibility of planning ahead.

2) Now, who the hell gets out of a car to greet a girl. Is she the Queen of England? And you're not a bellboy to jump around her. Let her in, close the door, and off you go. Less chat more splat.

3) Same for opening doors. I do it every second time. I mean it's courtesy, but not a necessity (unless you've got a stiff upper lip and an affinity for Bordeaux).

4) It (the date) was too long. Pick an activity, followed by some coffee, then DONE. No post-date chatting, and certainly no sms. Besides, that convo was pretty clumsy (too many 'uhh, cool's should have tipped you off).

we had a good chat for almost an hour..just talking about our current situations in our lives..

5) There goes the mystery of the 'perfect stranger'. Since you met her through a girl at work, I'd expect her to know practically nothing about you. That is an advantage. But now it's gone. Hope you understand why.

6) No move. Actually, this is a smart thing, considering points 1-5 - chances are it wouldn't have succeeded anyways, and that would just add to the rejection.

What to do:

Ditch her for a week or 2. Don't see her, don't call her, and don't message her. Conversely, don't reply to her calls or messages, if there are any. You need to fix the image of yourself you projected onto her. Make her believe you don't need her. She will wonder where you went since you were all over her on that date.

Then call. Once. If she picks up, she'll ask where you were. Brush it off lightly. That should regain some of the status and maleness you lost.

If she doesn't pick up, wait 4 days, and try again (in this day and age, most girls have caller ID).

Hope this helped.

Oh, and don't be so nervous about being 'perfect'. She's target practice, no more.

 

[.illadelph]

thank you guys a lot....great advice.

i dunno if i can wait 2 weeks though. but yeah, i will give it some time...i'm afraid she'll lose interest if i don't respond after so long.

and thinking back, i had so many chances to kino her, b/c we were walking outside in the cold...she even mentioned that she was cold a couple times...obviously a callling card for me to hold her.

i will take some time away like you said, i just don't know if i can last 2 weeks, personallly. but when next time comes around, i can't be hesitant to make a move..it must happen b/c we've both already expressed interest in making it go down. it's all a matter of me throwing away my thoughts of embarrasment, and pulling through.

thanks again, this was my first night out w/ a girl and it went pretty well, she seemed to have fun, the only thing she's probably disappointed in, is that i didn't make a move. next time i will..thiers no holding back.

her: "oh boy. oh khoi. you're kinda sick wit it. but when push comes to shove, are you willing to get wit it. by "it" i mean me, do you like what you see? cuz if that's the case, then start pressin the pedal on yo pace."

she wants me to put the petal to the metal..

 

[Bible_Belt]

That wasn't bad for a first date. You received some good advice here. (be mysterious, send a mixed message, plan ahead, give the gift of missing you) If everyone knew these things at 18, men would get laid so much that the planet would quickly become overpopulated.

 

[Disconnect]

i'm afraid she'll lose interest if i don't respond after so long.

That could be the case. But give it at least a week. The rest is trying to make all advances seem natural. Nervousness is associated with doing something wrong, and anything can give you away - body language, tone of voice, so on. If you control that, she will perceive that you know that what you're doing is good and natural, and will go with it.

Do you know anything about her previous relationship (sex) life? Now that I think about it, the amount of guys she's been with before and how serious she got with them may affect alot of factors. If she doesn't have much experience, or is not used to getting alot of attention from guys, she may actually have dug it that you stayed with her for so long on that day, or that you didn't make a move, or that you messaged her when you got home. Inexperienced chicks are naive. They are the kind who also respond well to 'i love you' if you wanna bed them .

 

[MightyMate]

Its normal You dont pay for girl. Its normal You dont kiss girl on 1st date or hug. Trust me.

 

[.illadelph]

thanks for the support guys...

she has mentioned previous relationships...several of them. she's only 16 years old, i'm 18. a couple of days ago, she broke up with her boyfriend b/c he lived in another state..so it did not work out. i dunno...i implied that she's an experienced girl, but she said...not really. although i know for a fact that she did hook up with someone i know..he told me, but said he shouldn't be telling me this...

[12:02] her: so you think ur all cool, go back to school FOOL. your rhme game is wack, and you're gay cuz you're a mack. pimpin' all these girls, i dont know if u got room for me in yo world. but WAIT - maybe you can't handle me, i know i'm your asian girl fantasy.

she thinks i'm a mack, and thinks my world revolves around girls, when it's completely opposite. isn't that crazy? i didn't want to tell her that i've never hooked up with a girl and that i'm not experienced..i think that would be a mistake to say that.

but i will wait it out for...i'll try one whole week, but i'll probably give in after 4 days or so...

 

[.illadelph]

i've gone 2 days..it's tough...

 

[.illadelph]

oh yeah...i didn't get all excessive with compliments either...like that one creepy ass dude from that one girls journal on the main page....

i gave her a sincere smile, and compliment on her earings, which i thought were really stylish. i reached out, and held them...the color matched her shirt, and i mentioned that too. she smiled back, and i could tell she liked it.

before we went out, she kept telling me how her hair was messed up, b/c her straightener broke...and when i see her, her hair is perfectly straight...i liked her hair, but she kept saying how bad her hair was...i guess girls do that..

i did not compliment anything physical...just clothing and such. i'm pretty sure, she knows how ifeel about her looks.

 

[WhitePimp]

I would actually gauge the girl for interest level before waiting a week to contact her. It's good not to be TOO interested but some girls simply think you're not interested after that long and move on. Yeah in a perfect world you could go a month without contact and she'd want you more each passing day, but due to some recent experiences where I almost lost a girl I really liked by being too aloof and unavailable, I started to realize that there's a select few who actually don't like to bull**** with games like this and find an aloof guy a turn off. I've found a good middle ground now that seems to work the best. I still get my own time to do whatever, and we reconnect every few days. But since you came on so strong in the beginning, pulling away that strongly will probably **** with the girl's head, and God knows this world needs no more ****ed up chicks.

 

[DarkLight]

Sounds like alls good man.

Just keep enjoying whats goin down. Don't get caught up in the technicalities of the game, to the point that its making you nervous, and premeditated.

Have fun with this chick. Laugh, enjoy her, tease her... bottom line, your with this chick to have fun, and enjoy (on all levels). So do that.

Got some good advice, as far as the restraint thing goes. You don't want to shoot your load in the first moment meeting her. Laugh, go out, etc., but then create the distance, the inaccescability to allow her imagination and mind to start marinating on you, and wandering about you. Allow the time for that mystery to develop. On top of that, it will show that your not all about it, thus you'll still have some upper hand, and that your life is probably a happenin place, and thats why you didn't get back to her, instantly.

Other than that... seems cool enough. As far as hooking up with her, and you being inexperienced. No worries. You'll clearly reckognize the moment(s) to make a move, when they arise. It will be emotionally intense, etc. but dig all that. Enjoy it. And the whole inexperienced issue, is no issue at all. Connecting on a physical level is like a forgotten language. As soon as you go for what you feel, you'll know exactly how to be with her. Bottom line... sh!t is pleasurable... so its a pleasurable experience. So drop all your worries, and just be excited to enjoy that pleasure when the moment arrives.

Keep it Suave, and Enjoy'

-DarkLight-

 

[Tazman]

***thing is...she told me her last boyfriend was sort of a prude..and she didn't want to be the first to be with him....well i'm prude and i didn't have th eguts to tell her that...i felt really bad...man this is tougher than i thought***

When I was 16 my first girlfriend (if I can even call her that) was also 16 and experienced (I'm still a virgin as I've never penetrated a girl). She told me about a guy that she was with who never had sex before her, and that after they did, he became more romantic. It put her off and she dumped the poor guy (I didn't last long with her either as she was the one who initiated kissing, etc). Girls like this want assertive guys (actually most women do) and will be turned off if you don't make some moves. The "shyness" won't be cute after a while, it will be your downfall.

She doesn't have to know you're inexperienced, just make moves on her when you feel it's right and let things flow naturally. I assume you know how to have sex, atleast the basics, so just do what you think feels good and before you know it the experience you gain will make all this MUCH easier to do.

 

[.illadelph]

thank you guys for understanding my situation...and for the ongoing support..it's helping a lot...

i have no intentions for sex....just hooking up...

i think i know what u mean now...that when the time comes...i'l know what to do..just savor the moment and have fun.

 

[DarkLight]

Exactly...

Sh!t ain't science... its pleasure. Your body will tell you what to do, and listening to her body will tell what she likes. Boom Simple.

Now... above and beyond that.........

THERE IS A WORLD OF TECHNIQUE, and MORE SH!T!

But don't sweat that... it will unfold from just naturally enjoyin the feelin'

You got the right idea. Just enjoy the moment, and have fun.

And don't worry about being a lil mischevious in your fun, chix love a lil devil in their God ; )

They'll let you swoop your cape over them, and sink your fangs into their fragrant smooth lil necks, as long as your beaming them heart while they're stroking your c0ck

lmao... Alls good!

SuaveOn'
-DarkLight-