So I'm was trying to find a file and I cam across this letter that I was going to give to this girl back when I was a MAJOR AFC. Never ended up giving it to her thank god. Just reading it makes me cringe... have fun.
I look at that and relize how much for the better I have changed for my self the past 2 years. The new out look on life that I have now, from then. I still slip up and have my AFC moments, but it's only a moment now... not my life style anymore.Oneitius Girl,
Before I met you I thought I had my life under control. I thought if I was cold and dead to the world, I could prevent life and people from hurting me like in the past. It worked; I was in control, I let no one in and I let no feelings out. I just did my job, living life one day to the next. Never paying attention to the world or people around me, never really listening to what any one has to say (It’s like when I’m working the front door)
I know I’m not the most normal guy in the world but if you knew my past I’d think you would understand why I have been hardened to the way I am now.
When I first met you
Another problem with guys is that when a woman gives us any sign of attraction we immediately interpret it as a sign of “Total Interest”
One of the problems that got me so stressed out about you is the fact that I never knew how you felt about me. Did you consider me you’re friend, or just some guy that comes in and nourishes your Cinderella complex (correct me if I’m wrong).
I’m a guy, and guys don’t pick up on subtle hint’s, heck guys don’t even pick up on major hint’s. Guys act first and think later… if we ever get around to thinking later.
The past week I have been a real jerk to you and have blamed it on every thing from quitting smoking to unrelated stress. I’m sorry. When the truth is that I’m scared. Scared that you’ll disappear and I’ll be left alone again with no direction, just a scared little boy. Scared that when you disappear that my life will turn in to what it was before… an empty life. Maybe I need to see a shrink.
I never felt like you trusted me. Maybe it’s because I never seemed trust worthy
If you read all this you probably realized that I don’t have my life all together, it’s in a state of constant flux and it’s driving me nuts