I don't really get any kind of a thrill from having sex with different women

[bigdave17]

let me ask you something.

suppose you met a woman that met all your criteria for commitment BUT she would begrudgingly only have sex with you once in a blue moon and only missionary style, would you stay in that relationship?

that would basically mean she is not attracted to me so I wouldn't stay with her

I need to be with someone who is as crazy about me as I am crazy about her

 

[Dash Riprock]

Not that I am any kind of player but I've slept with maybe 6 or 7 women last 3 years (I know that's nothing compared to you guys) and it did nothing for me. I would much much rather be in a relationship but the problem is none of the women have been anywhere near my league (I'm a good looking, fit, stylish, extraordinarily successful 28 y/old with no kids. I want a woman somewhat close to that)


Does that make me strange? I have very high testosterone. I can have sex 4 times a day but I would much rather do that with the same person. Is is that unusual for a 28 year old guy to only want to be in a monogamous relationship? What's so terrible is I can't even seem to get that with anybody decent

Why don't you try a professional matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch or similar. They vet and screen all men and women and 99% of the people get into it to find a lasting relationship, LTR, or marriage, not some stupid ONS or short term orbiting crap. They also don't take just "anyone" into the program. They do a good job of setting you up with women per your criteria. Will work better for you if you're in major metro area. It will cost mid four figures to play but the women they set you up with are of MUCH higher quality than the ones you meet online and even organically. Most are hot too, so I've found.

I know because I've done it.

 

[bigdave17]

pretty neat the way cognitive dissonance works.

but anyway, this brings me to my point. what you are seeking is not to be "monogamous" (its women who are the inherent monogamy seekers)

what youre seeking is to possess a womans sexuality and desire for you.

every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.

so no, you are not strange. youre pretty average actually. most AFCs are seeking monogamy to lock down a womans sexuality for himself.

the problem here is you are approaching this from the rules were you conditioned to follow
become a "good catch" > get relationship > sex this is the complete opposite of what is preached here.

I don't really know what you're talking about here man. I am looking to be 100% monogamous and loyal to 1 awesome woman. I will be extremely loyal because that's how I was raised

A married couple can and should still have plenty of super hot passionate sex. This has nothing to do with how I was conditioned - a lot of men I know want to **** around. I don't get any pleasure or joy from having sex with multiple women. I would be happy to get married tomorrow if I knew she was perfect for me

like i told you before, this isnt how to trigger genuine desire for you from a woman. its a negotiation. and negotiating desire never ends well (unless youre just paying a hooker of course)

I am never going to be boring
I am never going to allow myself to be a pushover
I am never going to allow myself to be weak/clingy/needy
I am never going to stop being jacked and looking great

one more question. lets say your ideal girl gives you great sex and she meets all your other criteria, but she had other men in her sexual past who are "not in your league" in terms of financial success or whatever you use to gauge "success". would it bother you? if they were random guys who had no money, no direction or what you would consider to be losers, would that be an issue for you knowing they had already ran through and moved on this ideal dream girl of yours?

why would I give a f*ck who she was with in the past unless he was like an axe murderer or something?

Answer is no

 

[bigdave17]

Why don't you try a professional matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch or similar. They vet and screen all men and women and 99% of the people get into it to find a lasting relationship, LTR, or marriage, not some stupid ONS or short term orbiting crap. They also don't take just "anyone" into the program. They do a good job of setting you up with women per your criteria. Will work better for you if you're in major metro area. It will cost mid four figures to play but the women they set you up with are of MUCH higher quality than the ones you meet online and even organically. Most are hot too, so I've found.

I know because I've done it.

what are the odds of finding 22-28 year old women with that service?

I would hate to spend 3-5,000 myself on something like that and i make 160K. The average 25 year old girl makes 40K a year. 3-5K for her is a fortune

 

[bigdave17]

1. but you do WANT and NEED sex? which is my case in point. you wouldnt accept a relationship or marriage with your dream girl if she felt sex was immoral and didnt want to be thought of as a slut?

What does that have to do with what we're talking about?? You're not making any sense here

Wanting to be monogamous/loyal to someone doesn't mean that you hate sex. I am just looking to have a good relationship with a healthy and normal sex life. Most normal women aren't gonna be okay with a BF who just wants sex once a month either.

3.because its not a problem until its a problem. most afcs are just happy to find a girl that will **** him that he wont care how many shes been with. he cant even believe his luck to begin with. but once things start getting serious he will sing a different tune because he knows her desire for him is compromised. he wants the best from this girl sexually and emotionally and hes had to work for it. meanwhile shes done some nasty shlt with another dude/s because she actually wanted to do it.

you're wrong. I don't give a damn who she was with in the past unless she's been a gigantic ***** and slept with 200 guys or was with an axe murderer or something.

I am concerned with the quality of the relationship - if she is a great person, if she is crazy about me, if she is considerate, caring, affectionate, loyal, unselfish, etc... stuff like that. If I don't think she is a great person, I'm not going to date her

I think the problem is you have me mistaken for any average chump who is willing to take anything he gets. That is not me - I'm not going to date garbage and I'm not going to allow anybody to mistreat me.

 

[user43770]

Why are there hot chicks at your gym, but not your grocery store? Switch grocery stores. Or maybe talk to one of those chicks with headphones in.

Nobody likes a whiner. If the sh1t you're doing isn't working, try something else.

 

[bigdave17]

Why are there hot chicks at your gym, but not your grocery store? Switch grocery stores. Or maybe talk to one of those chicks with headphones in.

Nobody likes a whiner. If the sh1t you're doing isn't working, try something else.

I live in the suburbs. I only really see people my age at 3 places - gym, mall and bars/clubs

Older people everywhere else

and yes talking to those hot chicks at the gym, with or without headphones is insanely difficult

 

[bigdave17]

you mistook my responses to your thread as an attack. i was trying to help you

you have a long way to go. reality is going to hit you like a ton of bricks. if you stick around long enough and absorb as much as you can it will eventually click. it will be very uncomfrtable at first but it will be worth it.

but currently i dont think you are worth helping. at least not for my time.

I think you're just misdiagnosing my problems

the 2 comments you made there (about me caring about the sexual past of a woman and then about me not being okay with a woman who hates sex) just didn't make any sense

 

[BeExcellent]

what are the odds of finding 22-28 year old women with that service?

I would hate to spend 3-5,000 myself on something like that and i make 160K. The average 25 year old girl makes 40K a year. 3-5K for her is a fortune

The odds are quite good, actually or they wouldn't have a thriving business given what they charge (the fees keep the tire kickers and trash out. Only people serious about meeting someone serious make the investment.)

My best girlfriend met her husband of approaching 20 years through Its Just Lunch. She's a gorgeous redhead whose father paid for the service. She has an MBA and is successful in her own right but her dad wanted to be sure she found a quality guy without having to frequent bars or rely on random selection. She was 27 or 28 when they met.

You can easily afford the 3-5K. That's actually a very good suggestion and it's not even 2 weeks' pay.

Both my girlfriend and her husband rave about the experience. They have a wonderful, very strong marriage.

If you won't do that look at runner's groups, cycling groups, coed softball, soccer or volleyball leagues, or take up racquet sports or take classes at your gym. You are more likely to meet young fit women doing socially athletic things.

 

[user43770]

and yes talking to those hot chicks at the gym, with or without headphones is insanely difficult

I know it is.

You have to understand that everybody wants to fvck attractive young females. You have a lot of competition. Step your game up and put yourself out there.

 

[bigdave17]

The odds are quite good, actually or they wouldn't have a thriving business given what they charge (the fees keep the tire kickers and trash out. Only people serious about meeting someone serious make the investment.)

My best girlfriend met her husband of approaching 20 years through Its Just Lunch. She's a gorgeous redhead whose father paid for the service. She has an MBA and is successful in her own right but her dad wanted to be sure she found a quality guy without having to frequent bars or rely on random selection. She was 27 or 28 when they met.

You can easily afford the 3-5K. That's actually a very good suggestion and it's not even 2 weeks' pay.

Both my girlfriend and her husband rave about the experience. They have a wonderful, very strong marriage.

If you won't do that look at runner's groups, cycling groups, coed softball, soccer or volleyball leagues, or take up racquet sports or take classes at your gym. You are more likely to meet young fit women doing socially athletic things.

hhhhmmmmmm I would love to date a girl making great income

That's available in downtown Chicago but it's not going to be available around here (I'm 45 minutes from Chicago). Maybe I should try that

 

[bigdave17]

I know it is.

You have to understand that everybody wants to fvck attractive young females. You have a lot of competition. Step your game up and put yourself out there.

so how do you stay positive in the face of such nasty odds??

Just be okay knowing that your chance of rejection is 99%?

 

[QuadDeuces]

As a wise man once said,
Don’t bark against the bad but chant the beauty of the good.

If you only see the negative the universe will deliver you more scarcity, frustration and bad luck.

 

[exhausted]

Yes, it is basically too much to ask or else I wouldn't be here either, hah.

My advice is just to put yourself in good social circles with women that value what you bring to the table.

The average white middle class girl will NOT value 40k a year with family values. You might have to look at other ethnic groups, or look at traditional religious groups.

Me as well.

There are many ****ty candidates and few worthy ones

 

[Thechamp]

Honestly I’m thinking I’m going to make lots of money and travel overseas to find a more traditions wife western society is not set up for marriage!!

 

[icantgetlaid]

Fearing rejection is timidity; which turns the high value type of woman you are seeking off. Approach the type of girls that you are attracted to and become outcome independent. Read the DJ Bible. You have a lot to learn.

 

[bigdave17]

it wasnt a diagnoses so much as presenting you a well known red pill theory.

they didnt make sense becaues i didnt go in depth. the gist of it was that all men want a girl to be a slut for him and only him.

you dont know enough or have enough experience to know whats out there and what actually is quality. you only have a pre-existing idea you made up. thats it. therefore my point was that you shouldnt even be worried about finding your dream girl just yet. even if you found her, you likely owuldnt even be able to hold onto her.

you should be learning how to really get girls to like you. money will attract women to you. it isnt a gaurantee that shes going to genuinely desire to be with you emotionally and sexually.

you really think the young hot girls who marry rich old dudes genuinely love them and are turned on by them?

but not I'm old though. I'm young, good looking and plenty exciting/fun/masculine in terms of my personality though

and I completely disagree with you about "not being to hold on to a girl if I meet one". I am very good on dates and people love how I carry myself and my lifestyle when they really get to know me. Like I said - I'm incredibly frustrated because I feel like I'm very talented but I just don't get the opportunity to showcase it. I've been out on dates with maybe 10-12 women and they were all crazy about me except maybe 2 or 3...I just didn't like any of them because none of them were anywhere near my league.

 

[bigdave17]

It's more like 40%/50% chance of good interaction (soft-rejections). And then you have to prioritize the positive experiences, not dwell on the negative.

Takes a lot of mental strength. And there are much easier ways to get a girlfriend tbh, which don't involve going through an ego-death.

40-50%?? Are you high?? 80-90% of hot young women are gonna be in serious relationships anyways. Maybe 10% are single and the odds of them liking you enough to want to go out with you from their 80,000,000 options are extremely slim. If you have 50% success rate, you must look like Brad Pitt in his prime and I commend you sir because that's f*cking incredible.

What's the much easier ways?? You commented about social circle, I make new friends and meet new people all the time everywhere I go - I never meet any women worth dating. I really am trying and trying - I want to meet new people all the time. Online dating is completely impossible unless you look like Channing Tatum. Even slightly above average girls there are looking for white 6'3 10/10 male models.

 

[bigdave17]

Honestly I’m thinking I’m going to make lots of money and travel overseas to find a more traditions wife western society is not set up for marriage!!

women overseas have plenty of problems too, don't get it twisted

 

[bigdave17]

apparently this guy knows everything and clearly doesnt need any help