I didn't think women could hurt me anymore

[BaronOfHair]

I don't agree I think emotions come first and we try to rationalize them with thoughts because our ego wants to think it's in control. If you think otherwise....

It's not me, but the evidence https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ings-first-or-second-the-pursuit-of-happiness you should believe

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's not me, but the evidence https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ings-first-or-second-the-pursuit-of-happiness you should believe

psychology today is a joke and modern psychology is gynocentric/feminist horseshvt in general. i'll stick with Hume and Kierkegaard

on your point though. thoughts can of course influence emotions. the Greek and Roman Stoics used this to their advantage

 

[BaronOfHair]

psychology today is a joke and modern psychology is gynocentric/feminist horseshvt in general

The headine of that article is "Western culture puts feelings first", and the author clearly disapproves. Hardly "gynocentric", whatever the hell THAT vacant fuzzword means anymore. With great respect, Flex, asserting that emotions just happen to you, and denying that your own cognitions aren't at least 50% responsible for their creation, is extremely feminine

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The headine of that article is "Western culture puts feelings first", and the author clearly disapproves. Hardly "gynocentric", whatever the hell THAT vacant fuzzword means anymore. With great respect, Flex, asserting that emotions just happen to you, and denying that your own cognitions aren't at least 50% responsible for their creation, is extremely feminine

i didn't say thoughts don't effect emotions. im well versed in Stoicism and this is a huge part of what they preach. my point is we don't ultimately decide our emotions. but its getting late and i would be better off responding to this tomorrow plus its getting way off topic. make a new topic if you want to discuss this more

 

[Chow Mein]

Yup, you have some work to do in controlling your ego.

 

[pipeman84]

She absolutely is crazy. She's on 3 medications and she told me her habit of picking at her scalp and fingers to the point of getting scabs. Again, between that and her body count (that I estimate to be anywhere from 50-100, possibly more based on the things she would say),

She is a hoe (she told me all sorts of stories that indicate it), and I literally nutted inside her for our first date.

You're having unprotected sex with a crazy hoe? So you ended up ghosted. Count yourself lucky, you could've gotten stabbed, killed, accused of rape and all sorts of other bad things.

I could have real, raw, deep conversations with her, and we had a surprising number of things in common with, and not trivial things either but things I actually care about.

The reason I am upset is the fact we had a lot of things in common (which is quite rare for me, and probably for her - for instance she said she hasn't met many men who don't want kids, and most women I meet who share this sentiment express how rare it is, too), and we genuinely connected on a deep level, only for her to ghost me out of the blue for no reason.

What's this, stand-up comedy? You're getting all close, vulnerable and talking about kids with an obvious hoe? With this type of woman you shouldn't trust asking what time it is or what's the weather outside like.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yup, you have some work to do in controlling your ego.

What does that mean, in your own words?

You're having unprotected sex with a crazy hoe? So you ended up ghosted. Count yourself lucky, you could've gotten stabbed, killed, accused of rape and all sorts of other bad things.

In the last 2.5 years I've had sex with about a 15 women and almost all of them were unprotected. I've never had experiences like you described, though maybe i'm lucky. I always bounce once the true crazy shows up. Everything about her "craziness" is based on what she told me herself, not how she acted, so it could very well have been made up, considering how much women love to be victims nowadays.

What's this, stand-up comedy? You're getting all close, vulnerable and talking about kids with an obvious hoe? With this type of woman you shouldn't trust asking what time it is or what's the weather outside like.

We weren't talking about it in the context of ourselves, but just rambingly/tangential discussions about lifestyles. It just came up. Idk why talking about lifestyle preferences is off limits with a hoe.

I know you can't trust crazy hoes but I'm not seeing the issue in sharing some things about yourself like your preference to live alone or your mutual desire to not want kids. It's not like I'm sharing intimate details about my past. I literally told her nothing about my past.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I've said this before but "commitment" isn't just about "not cheating" but how woman present themselves to the world and whether she respects your boundaries.

I think most people misunderstand the word commitment with regards to a relationship.

If you are committed to your health you'll do what it takes to stay healthy.

If you are committed to your career you'll do what it takes to build and maintain a robust career.

If you are committed to learning a new language you'll do what it takes to become fluent.

But being committed in a relationship means, at least to a lot of ladies, you can do whatever you want, short of outright cheating, and the other person has to accept it.

Many modern ladies want guys to be committed to them without the ladies being committed, in the real sense of the word, in return.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I thought I was immune to this sort of stuff but apparently not.

Here's my opinion about what happened.

You met her, you liked her, you started to develop a slight tinge of one-itis for her, (imagining her differently than she really was) and you started to expect certain things.

Then she ghosted you and it hurt.

It will always hurt when someone you care about and expect things from decides to ghost you, whether those expectations are realistic based on experience or unrealistic based on assumptions is irrelevant.

Unavoidable.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They can't unless you allow them to which means you have some things you still need to work on because they shouldn't be able to. Especially not within that short a time period.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Here's my opinion about what happened.

You met her, you liked her, you started to develop a slight tinge of one-itis for her, (imagining her differently than she really was) and you started to expect certain things.

Then she ghosted you and it hurt.

It will always hurt when someone you care about and expect things from decides to ghost you, whether those expectations are realistic based on experience or unrealistic based on assumptions is irrelevant.

Unavoidable.

100%. Though I should clarify I didn't "build her up" in the sense of idealizing/pedastalizing her (I know better), but I did get attached too easily which is different. Reason being, we did genuinely have great, deep conversation and she was very kind, frequently asking how well I slept, how I'm doing, checking in, doing favors for me. That means a lot to me, hoe or not.

They can't unless you allow them to which means you have some things you still need to work on because they shouldn't be able to. Especially not within that short a time period.

Yes I definitely do still need to work on myself. Honestly, it could be unresolved baggage from all the women I dated/banged in the past 2.5 years which was with about 15 different women, of which I seriously dated 5 for various periods from 2-10 months... but on another note I've built increasingly strong relationships with my family, friends, and I've been generally more social, even taking on a sales job, so it's not like I'm socially isolated and trying to make up for it with romantic relationships, either.

However it's also possible something is off hormonally, which is why I had such a strong emotional response here. As you may recall, I have been on high dose TRT since April (basically a prolonged cycle at this point) and have not taken any estrogen blockers - only T and HCG. I was too cheap to buy tests; though in the past even when my total T was very high (1100 ng/DL) from supplement/diet/exercise/lifestyle optimization, none of my E levels were high, and currently I don't have any obvious symptoms of high E like puffy nips, increased fat, sadness, etc. I'll be taking a comprehensive blood panel with Marek Health soon. Idk why this thread won't die so I probably shouldn't discuss that in here but I'll make a topic with the test I plan to take if you want to give it a look I'd appreciate any input.

 

[The Duke]

Guys- Flex isn't upset about losing this girl. Its the fact that this came out of nowhere and was totally unexpected. He was caught off guard and totally didn't expect her to ghost. IF he would have got a "hey, I am seeing someone else" or whatever he would have been fine. But she handled this very poorly. She showed she has very poor relationship skills, low self esteem, and selfish. Healthy people don't treat others this way.

A similar deal happened to me. I was dancing with a girl on a 2nd date at a large country bar. She went to the restroom and never came back. I tried calling/texting and she ignored me. It was the fact of how this girl handled the situation. I was totally cool if she didn't want to be with me, it was how she handled the situation that pissed me off.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way that has been courteous and respectful to the other person. Flex had every right to be pissed and so did I.

If you think having expectations for how someone should behave is too much, then you probably shouldn't be a part of society. We all have to abide by social expectations for peace and order. Just like on this forum, we have expectations of how one should behave.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Guys- Flex isn't upset about losing this girl. Its the fact that this came out of nowhere and was totally unexpected. He was caught off guard and totally didn't expect her to ghost. IF he would have got a "hey, I am seeing someone else" or whatever he would have been fine. But she handled this very poorly. She showed she has very poor relationship skills, low self esteem, and selfish. Healthy people don't treat others this way.

A similar deal happened to me. I was dancing with a girl on a 2nd date at a large country bar. She went to the restroom and never came back. I tried calling/texting and she ignored me. It was the fact of how this girl handled the situation. I was totally cool if she didn't want to be with me, it was how she handled the situation that pissed me off.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way that has been courteous and respectful to the other person. Flex had every right to be pissed and so did I.

If you think having expectations for how someone should behave is too much, then you probably shouldn't be a part of society. We all have to abide by social expectations for peace and order. Just like on this forum, we have expectations of how one should behave.

OP being mildly annoyed/disappointed would be understandable. But he's DEVASTATED by some chick he boffed a couple of times vanishing though, and seems to be convinced that there's was a romance for the ages, when he barely knew her. Nothing about this is especially "normal", loaded as that word is

 

[The Duke]

OP being mildly annoyed/disappointed would be understandable. But he's DEVASTATED by some chick he boffed a couple of times vanishing though, and seems to be convinced that there's was a romance for the ages, when he barely knew her. Nothing about this is especially "normal", loaded as that word is

He doesn't see it as something emotionally/romantically deep.

 

[BaronOfHair]

He doesn't see it as something emotionally/romantically deep.

I hope he doesn't