I can't stand this not being able to get a girl thing

[DonJuan11]

I do make a move, I do escalate, but haven't found a woman that doesn't turn me down at that point or before.

That's akin to saying "I do work 18 hours a day, but I'm not rich." It's not about how hard you work, it's about how smart you work.

It's not simply about making a move, it's about how you make the move. Have to give us specific examples.

 

[Scion]

That's akin to saying "I do work 18 hours a day, but I'm not rich." It's not about how hard you work, it's about how smart you work.

It's not simply about making a move, it's about how you make the move. Have to give us specific examples.

Unfortunately I can't give you examples with any details because I haven't approached a new girl in weeks since I've been feeling like ****.

Most of my approaches good like this though: I approach girl, use situation specific opener (most of the time I get shut down here), we talk for a bit, I say I gotta run but I'd like to continue talking to her so she should give me her number (I usually get the number if it goes this far).

Then I'll call her a day or 2 later and try to set up a meet up. But most of the time they aren't interested in meeting up. And so far I've only been able to get a girl to meet up once, then they go cold and unresponsive.

I know it's not specific but like I said I haven't made any cold approaches in weeks.

 

[DonJuan11]

Most of my approaches good like this though: I approach girl, use situation specific opener (most of the time I get shut down here),

What is a specific opener? It sounds like you are feeding them a line because you can't act naturally. You should be able to talk (about anything) normally and have something in common with her other than you want to have sex with her.

we talk for a bit, I say I gotta run but I'd like to continue talking to her so she should give me her number (I usually get the number if it goes this far).

Way too vague. You'd like to continue talking to her? About what? Your pet hamster? Your video game score? Rather than that how about "I'm teaching salsa at a club on Friday, I would love for you to come, perhaps I could get your number?" You have to have a REASON to call them. They have to have a REASON to hang with you. So many guys get confused about this, they think the girl should hang out with them just because he likes her and is desperate.

Then I'll call her a day or 2 later and try to set up a meet up. But most of the time they aren't interested in meeting up. And so far I've only been able to get a girl to meet up once, then they go cold and unresponsive.

Of course they are not interested. They don't want to be bored. They want to be entertained, excited, have fun. You have to ADD to their life. If they want to talk for 2 hours and be bored, they would rather do that with their brother, not you.

A) Scion: "Hey Cindy, it's me Scion. I met you two days when i was in line and you were the cashier. We talked about the bread I was buying. Remember me? Good. Well tomorrow I don't have much to do and I was wondering if you would like to get together and talk for a few hours? I think I really like you and would like to get to know you better."

B) Scion: "Hi Cindy, it was a pleasure meeting you the other day. I am teaching salsa tomorrow evening and would love for you to come. Perhaps after we could go for a quick bite, I know this great Italian restaurant where the chef is my best friend."

Which one do you think she would she say "yes" to?


I know it's not specific but like I said I haven't made any cold approaches in weeks.

Everything you do in life should be done as if you had a girlfriend. If you stay home on Friday night and play video games, then you meet a wonderful girl to go out with a few days a week, what are going to do on Friday night with her? Don't think you'll get into the hottest clubs and best restaurants just because you have a girlfriend. You have to do that BEFORE the fact, not after. Educate yourself, know people, meet people, make connections, take some courses, read some books, TEACH HER something, EXCITE HER about something.

Most guys think as soon as they get a girlfriend they will magically be the P.Diddy of the town. It doesn't work that way.

 

[Scion]

Everything you do in life should be done as if you had a girlfriend. If you stay home on Friday night and play video games, then you meet a wonderful girl to go out with a few days a week, what are going to do on Friday night with her? Don't think you'll get into the hottest clubs and best restaurants just because you have a girlfriend. You have to do that BEFORE the fact, not after. Educate yourself, know people, meet people, make connections, take some courses, read some books, TEACH HER something, EXCITE HER about something.

Most guys think as soon as they get a girlfriend they will magically be the P.Diddy of the town. It doesn't work that way.

Who says I care to be the P.Diddy of the town? I know what I said was very general but I don't remember any specific approach because it's been weeks since I've done a cold approach. In the last little bit I've only talked to women I've met through my work or social circle. I also don't buy ppl's belief that you have to be this crazy connected guy that can bring her the finest things in life in order from women to be interested in you. What happened to just going out to play pool and having fun getting to know one another. Maybe I'm just naive.

 

[DonJuan11]

I also don't buy ppl's belief that you have to be this crazy connected guy that can bring her the finest things in life in order from women to be interested in you. What happened to just going out to play pool and having fun getting to know one another. Maybe I'm just naive.

You are naive. It's also very easy to see even by the tone of your responses you are very standoffish and cold.

 

[Scion]

You are naive. It's also very easy to see even by the tone of your responses you are very standoffish and cold.

yeah your probably right about me being standoffish and cold. But what do you expect when I've had nothing but bad experiences with women.

 

[Kupid Diggs]

Scion I feel where your coming from. I'm kind of in the same position.

First of all I agree with you, you don't have to be the "P Diddy" of the town to get women. You don't have to be able to bench press 300lb. It's all about what you say and how you make these ladies feel. It sounds like the problem is your conversation skills. Am I correct?

 

[Scion]

Scion I feel where your coming from. I'm kind of in the same position.

First of all I agree with you, you don't have to be the "P Diddy" of the town to get women. You don't have to be able to bench press 300lb. It's all about what you say and how you make these ladies feel. It sounds like the problem is your conversation skills. Am I correct?

no, I don't really think it's my conversation skills since I'm to hold a converstion fine (I could be wrong though). I don't know what exactly it is, some girls run away when they notice I may be interested in them and some blow me off for other guys. All in all women just aren't interested in me, and I've been burned by them way too many times now.

 

[Warrior74]

LOL. I thought you were leaving.

Dude, you need to relax. You have an answer for everything but you don't have the answer. Why do you think that is?

No one can do this thinking for you. You have to figure it out for yourself. At the very least you might want to ask those close to you, who you really trust what is going wrong with you. But the more you dwell on it, the weirder you will get.

My advice...shake it all off. Forget about girls for a while. Forget about your quest for the answer to "what is wrong with me" for a while.

It could be a million reasons and circumstances that lead to a bad run. Consider it just that, a bad run of luck for a while. Keep pushing forward in the other areas of your life, stop all the naval gazing via sosuave, go have some genuine fun. Then if you see a woman out and about that you like, give it a go. Don't even think about it. Overthinking women is the surest way not to have any. That's why you have guys here for years and years with no results. They have a million theories and threads bouncing around in their heads.

If you can't pinpoint the weakness in your game, and we can't then take a break, try something different, go somewhere new, do something fun and then come back to it.

Just make a mental pact with yourself, "I'm not going to worry about it for a week". Just live your life for a week and leave this site and don't worry about girls. Focus on your other goals. Be social everywhere you go. Talk to everyone, male and female. Enjoy life! Then after break approach the first attractive girl you see.

Personally, I just don't have time for women right now, I have more important things to worry about. BUT, I wouldn't mind one, it would be nice but it's not necessary. I will still live, work, and strive for my goals with or without a woman in my life. She only enhances my life, she doesn't make it complete.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Scion, obviously something is going wrong. Either you're not being completely candid with the people on this board or you're not being completely candid with yourself -- or both.

I'm not exactly the world's most socially able person, but I've stilled bedded several chicks from the age of 18...

Maybe the 'openers' you're using don't suit you're personality. In other words, perhaps you're trying to be a suave, elegant ***** maestro with the ladies but what you're dishing out conflicts with your image (for example, imagine Bill Gates at a club trying to come off as 'hip & happening'...), something to think about.

 

[corrector]

When people run out of answers for advice then it usually boils down to two solutions: 1) Next the girl, or 2) Take a break and come back to this later.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167503&page=3

In this case, I think women just pick up on Scion's reality of how he's being treated by women and just take their turns reinforcing this reality.

 

[Scion]

The best and most real advice so far to this gentleman:

Dude,
I don't mean to burst your bubble but some people are hopeless. I don't
know if you are or not but my suggestion to you is to keep trying
to see if you ever become successful.

Think about it, if every man was an alpha male then where would
all the beta males be. What would make one alpha in that scenario?
Everyone would just be an alpha male in this fantasy world?

There are winners and there are losers. Sometimes you just have to accept your place in life.

If you do discover that you are a loser beta male learn to embrace this fact and be happy with yourself. So what if no one likes you, its not a big deal. Be happy being alone with yourself for the rest of your life.

I can see your post getting flamed every soon. The funny thing is that I'm not a loser in life, just with women. And some of the guys I know who are great with women really have no future ahead of them (unless you count snowboarding, playing video games, and smoking weed to be a future). Whatever, I'm not gonna say I'm a loser because I'm not. But I do agree with you that not every guy can be good with women, there will always be guys that aren't.

 

[nilescrane]

To the OP and others who think like him, why do you even want women anyway? I mean, yes they look good, but what other reason? Do you even know?

I sounded just like the OP a few years ago, and after getting the experience I always thought I desperately wanted, I realized that I needed to get a life and that women weren't that important.

Whoever said this was right...the right woman for YOU will not care if you have crazy connections or if you're rich. You'll be her celebrity, as long as you have a life that isn't just getting drunk, playing video games, and watching college football.

I think 90 percent of the problem of the men on this site is that they are trying to turn hoes into housewives, or going for women that they would not work well with anyway.

I'm in no way saying go for ugly girls, but don't ignore that girl at the coffee shop just because she isn't a playboy blonde.

 

[1337]

I actually went into some spirituality. The Power of Now by eckhart tolle. Its like RSD blueprint but 100x more deep. I highly suggest you read/hear this.

Its about separating your mind and you. You are not your mind. Your mind is the inner chatterbox. When you approach a woman someone says no NO NO noo. who is that? Is that you? no it is not, its ur mind thinking about all these scenarios in your mind. The book teaches you to CONTROL your mind. You won't have that inner chatterbox anymore. Tell me, how often during the day do you see youself talking to yourself(and most of it being negative thoughts like you are not good enough or you simply can't do it)

You will control your life and not let any resistance from your mind block you. Spirituality also gives you inner peace and a whole feeling. You won't feel you are missing something. PM me if you want to know more about it. This is basic Buddhism/Taoism stuff and has been used for centuries.

The point of this post is that, this book can teach you to use your mind as a tool and thus have that positive outlook in life, and be genuinely happy with yourself. Use it only when you need it. I am not promising you the magic pill. But I mean if you can control that inner chatter, have a positive outlook in life, and be genuinely happy with yourself, isn't it natural that you WILL reach any goal you want.

Plus this isn't like religion, this is something you can use the scientific method and PROVE to ourself within a couple of minutes. Trust me, I am an atheist. I am super liberal and can't stand any talk of "god." Spirituality has nothing to do with it.

If you can change all of this and attain your goals, the girls will be lining up for you.

couldn't have said it better myself SSJhalo this post is the jackpot here. I looked into RSD Blue print and read stuff on the ego and mind holding you back and their all consistent with your post. I have power of now just havent read it yet. BTW was it an Epiphany for you SSJhalo after going throw this stuff? cause i had some powerful dreams relating to it afterwards .

 

[women haze]

To the OP and others who think like him, why do you even want women anyway? I mean, yes they look good, but what other reason? Do you even know?

I sounded just like the OP a few years ago, and after getting the experience I always thought I desperately wanted, I realized that I needed to get a life and that women weren't that important.

Whoever said this was right...the right woman for YOU will not care if you have crazy connections or if you're rich. You'll be her celebrity, as long as you have a life that isn't just getting drunk, playing video games, and watching college football.

I think 90 percent of the problem of the men on this site is that they are trying to turn hoes into housewives, or going for women that they would not work well with anyway.

I'm in no way saying go for ugly girls, but don't ignore that girl at the coffee shop just because she isn't a playboy blonde.

This right here is real...... I agree 100%

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Whether you think you can or cannot is irrelevant, for either way, YOU'RE RIGHT.

 

[Scion]

to all those ppl that are trying to convince me that I'm a loser, well all I can say to you is it's not gonna work. But way to go and try and get your kicks (and boost your own ego) by kicking a guy when he's down. I could care less what you guys think. Now to all those ppl that were actually positive, at least thanks for trying.

 

[Kupid Diggs]

Scion = El Stud?

Scion where do you go to college? You a brotha?


Confidence is key bruh. You should go up to these girls with a highly self assured, egotistically indifferent attitude. This is what you should be thinking. "If a b i t c h doesn't want to f u c k me she must not like men."


You gotta sweet talk these women, but show that your not going to put up with their shi (don't be a pushover and agree with everything she says). So if she says something stupid call her out on it... Make'em laugh and let it be known that you're attracted to them. Lastly, don't think, f u c k that canned lines BS, thats for nerds.


Another key thing, touching. A lot of geeks call it kino, I keep it simple, touching. Read the kino guide in the bible, or just improvise. Be sexual too. Now don't go overboard and grab some t!t!es.

There's plenty of women to go around, so if you get rejected by a few, keep trying. You shouldn't give up until you've been rejected by every woman on this planet. And that's mathematically impossible.

That's all I got for you, take it or leave it.

 

[Drewskie]

to all those ppl that are trying to convince me that I'm a loser, well all I can say to you is it's not gonna work. But way to go and try and get your kicks (and boost your own ego) by kicking a guy when he's down. I could care less what you guys think. Now to all those ppl that were actually positive, at least thanks for trying.

What does "At least thanks for trying" mean anyway man? Can you, do you, really expect one or any of us here to somehow write something that is going to magically transform you into a pimp? there's a reason people say there's no magic pill, the same reason this site exists. You have to figure out and do it for yourself, I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but even if someone here wated to, they couldn't do it for you.Take heed of Warrior74's post, he's helping you out.

 

[moneyisking]

I felt sympathy at first, but now this thread became real stupid show. If you spent time and energy on talking to a girl or developing yourself, you would be much better than now, posting and whining. Plus you look down on working out. One of best advices (as in non-vague) is to tell you get your azz up and go to gym. If you don't even want to do anything but whine on internet, then I will not expect any improvement from you.