I can't stand this not being able to get a girl thing

[Scion]

Oh man, I'm frustrated. This is retarded. I seriously feel like a social reject because I can't get a girl interested in me. I don't know where to go to meet these women or how I'm supposed to get them interested in me. All I know is what doesn't work. Clubs don't work, work doesn't work, school doesn't work, social circles don't work. I see all these other guys with girls and yet I can't get one, no matter how low I lower my standards (and don't think I haven't lowered them a lot). I'm obviously desperate, and apparently people notice that I go after lots of girls (one guy I know asked me if I was trying to date every girl we know). I don't know what to do anymore. I pretend that it doesn't bother me but it actually does. I should be happy with my life but this is starting to drag me down.

Now that that's over with, sorry for my little rant, I needed to get it off my chest. There's nothing anyone here can help me with, because nothing I've read here thus far has worked. I am thinking about stopping to pursue women, at least to get rid of people's impression that I try and date every girl (which I do, I try and play the numbers game, hasn't worked thus far). I'll probably start pulling back from social gatherings for a bit, got a lot on my plate right now and I'm not happy.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Clubs don't work, work doesn't work, school doesn't work, social circles don't work.

These four things you mentioned are the primo ways people network. I was initially inclined to think that you might be lacking social skills. However, I then realised you wrote that "social circles don't work", so you do have a social circle, and to have that requires social skills.

Perhaps you're coming on too strong, and your all-round socially inept with girls. For example, perhaps you're coming on too strong, you're too needy, you're too desperate, you're trying too hard, and so forth. Perhaps the girls can sense this and they run a mile. School is an AWESOME way to meet others, both guys and girls. So for you to say that you haven't met chicks through it seems fvcked up.

I've always noticed that even if a guy is just somewhat attractive, yet has a personality, is social, has a good friends and and has a FUN life, girls BECOME attracted. Are you lacking any of these?

 

[Scion]

I've always noticed that even if a guy is just somewhat attractive, yet has a personality, is social, has a good friends and and has a FUN life, girls BECOME attracted. Are you lacking any of these?

No, I'm not lacking in any of those. I am a little shy but not enough where it would turn off all girls. This is what is fvcked up, I should be able to get girls interested. Even one of my friends doesn't understand it and he has no problem getting girls.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

You lowered your standards?
That tells me right off the bat that your inner-wuss is taking you over.

In order to be attractive, you must be selfish. I know, it's a paradox, but it's what works. You need to raise your self-esteem and learn to love yourself for who you are before real confidence shows it's face.

Also, you MUST ask. If you don't ask a girl out because you think she's not interested you are doing both yourself and her a disservice.
It takes balls; you must grow a pair and use them daily until they're fully-grown and confidence is natural for you.

 

[Scion]

You lowered your standards?
That tells me right off the bat that your inner-wuss is taking you over.

In order to be attractive, you must be selfish. I know, it's a paradox, but it's what works. You need to raise your self-esteem and learn to love yourself for who you are before real confidence shows it's face.

Also, you MUST ask. If you don't ask a girl out because you think she's not interested you are doing both yourself and her a disservice.
It takes balls; you must grow a pair and use them daily until they're fully-grown and confidence is natural for you.

what I meant by lowering my standards is including girls I wouldn't have asked out before because I didn't think they were good enough. I still ask out the type of girls I would before. And I really don't care if my "inner-wuss" is taking over, it's not like I did any better when he wasn't in charge. What's gonna happen, I'll get less sex? I'm a virgin so not like that could happen.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Scion, you say you're not lacking in any of the foregoing. However, do you think that perhaps your self-view is distorted? I mean, you say you have a good personality and are fun; but what is your definition of a "good personality" and "fun"? I just ask because there are guys I know that believe themselves to be fun, jovial guys. However, their interpretation of "fun" involves conducting science experiments on weekends...

Also, what sort of feedback have you gotten from chicks? Not just chicks you were trying to fvck, but other chicks.

 

[Scion]

Scion, you say you're not lacking in any of the foregoing. However, do you think that perhaps your self-view is distorted? I mean, you say you have a good personality and are fun; but what is your definition of a "good personality" and "fun"? I just ask because there are guys I know that believe themselves to be fun, jovial guys. However, their interpretation of "fun" involves conducting science experiments on weekends...

Also, what sort of feedback have you gotten from chicks? Not just chicks you were trying to fvck, but other chicks.

My view isn't distorted. My idea of fun is hanging out with my friends at a pub, playing pool and watching the game (either football or hockey). That's actually what I do on the weekends after work. I'm not so crazy about clubs, though I usually go out to them at least once a month. Most girls just ignore me, that's pretty much the feedback I get. For an example, last wknd I was hanging out with some people from my work at a local pub. I go over to talk to this girl I know, we chat for a couple secs then some guy comes up behind her, says hi and she proceeds to ignore me and have a convo with him. That's the kind of **** I have to deal with. All this guy did was say hi, that's all and she's gone.

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Not to sound like an a**hole, Scion, but how are you in the looks department?

Also, how do they "just ignore [you]"? In my experience, if you start talking to a chick at a bar on a social level (without coming on too strong) they will, mostly, reciprocate. Of course, there's always the prude b**ch out there, but they're in the minority.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

I agree with BigWillyStyle. Are you sure your self-view is accurate?

The first thing I would do is really do some deep self-reflection. Maybe you think fun and other people think annoying. Or maybe you think confident and other people think d*ck.

The second think I'd reflect about is are you coming on too strong? People who come on too strong never have success and rarely realise they are coming on too strong.


Third, I'd give up trying to get girls. Replace all the energy you spend on getting girls and use it to hit the gym and hit the books (like maybe become fluent in philosophy or psychology or something.) Just stop all efforts to get a girl. Keep socializing but lose all intent. Be aware of opportunities that pop up and feel free to take advantage of them but don't put anything more than minimal effort into them.

 

[moneyisking]

Where is FUN? Fun is everything in game bro. No fun means no comfort in your own skin, that leads to nervousness, which makes her nervous too, and leads to getting tied up in the head, that leads to not being able to say anything except hello and bye, that leads to you feeling angry and sad. FUN is the start of game. No fun no game.

 

[King_Supreme]

this is easier said than done but yeah, stop focusing on getting chicks and just focus on turning yourself into the ideal man that u want to be. there is always room for improvement. your putting way to much effort into this. when i first got on this site i devoted all my effort into getting chicks and i would try to force or create opportunities.

now i just go about my day focusing on business and the opportunites to meet chicks naturally arises. i know u wanna get rid of that virgin label bad and thats probably causing u too come on extremely strong. take a serious evaluation of your looks also. u care too much about this and it shows.

 

[JDA70]

Im no expert so take what I say with a grain of salt or how ever that saying goes. Listen, if you keep doing what you've been doing you'll keep getting
what you been getting. You reek of desperation, needyness and frustration.

You want a girl so bad to like you.
You are now an approvel seeking toad.

Girls are picking up on your vibe.

Stop that. Your a man start acking like one.
Stop putting ***** on a pedistal. Stop chasing after *****.
Stop worring about getting *****.


Look man go here and start the bootcamp
And go here and listen to these pod casts.
http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/index.php?post_category=podcasts
http://confidencekicker.com/training/

Im not trying to be a dik. Im trying to motivate you.

 

[Scion]

Stop that. Your a man start acking like one.
Stop putting ***** on a pedistal. Stop chasing after *****.
Stop worring about getting *****.

I don't put girls on a pedestal, I don't do **** just so they will like me. I know that's counter productive, I've done it in the past and learned from it. The only reason I pursue girls is because if I don't I doubt they will pursue me. And yes, I do worry about getting ***** since I've never had it and would like to one of these days (seems like I'm the only person not having sex at my age).

 

[flint]

Your mindset is everything dude. You sound like you're absolutely tired and fed up with your situation right now. Have you reached the brink? Are you finally willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES?

Use this anger to motivate you. If you're that angry about this, if I told you to start working out, improving yourself overall to create a better finished product, would you do it?

You're only a "reject" right now because you, like everyone else who ever came here was trained by the people around you to feel as such. Start improving yourself for yourself not for girls. Start growing a pair like that other guy said. Overstep your boundaries. Don't give up and be determined, you will get there.

 

[Scion]

Your mindset is everything dude. You sound like you're absolutely tired and fed up with your situation right now. Have you reached the brink? Are you finally willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES?

Use this anger to motivate you. If you're that angry about this, if I told you to start working out, improving yourself overall to create a better finished product, would you do it?

You're only a "reject" right now because you, like everyone else who ever came here was trained by the people around you to feel as such. Start improving yourself for yourself not for girls. Start growing a pair like that other guy said. Overstep your boundaries. Don't give up and be determined, you will get there.

Why does everyone tell ppl to start working out on this site? I do work out, I go to the gym 4 days a week. I used to work out at least an hour everyday. I don't need to "start" working out. Right now the way I'm "improving" myself in by finishing school and getting a high paying job, that's what I want to concentrate on. And like I said I don't know what to do. "Growing a pair" will do **** when I keep doing the wrong things with girls. If someone on this site could tell me what I should be doing then I probably would (as long as it's not ridiculous).

 

[DonJuan11]

My view isn't distorted. My idea of fun is hanging out with my friends at a pub, playing pool and watching the game (either football or hockey). That's actually what I do on the weekends after work. I'm not so crazy about clubs, though I usually go out to them at least once a month. Most girls just ignore me, that's pretty much the feedback I get. For an example, last wknd I was hanging out with some people from my work at a local pub. I go over to talk to this girl I know, we chat for a couple secs then some guy comes up behind her, says hi and she proceeds to ignore me and have a convo with him.

How did you talk her? What were you talking about? The guy behind her probably was going to take her to Salsa class and then to Las Vegas to give her the time of her life. I would ignore you too if Option B was the bigger better deal.

You can't expect the girl to be interested in you just because you are talking to her. What's in it for her to talk to you? Do you have something interesting to say? Are you going to teach her something? To improve her life? Her self worth? Or are you going to talk about the same drab boring things you always talk about?


That's the kind of **** I have to deal with. All this guy did was say hi, that's all and she's gone.

Again you seem very into yourself when you say "that's the **** I have to put with". What? Just because you are talking to her she has to give you sex? Come on dude, step it up, get some game. Attract her, intrigue her, buy her a drink, be funny, be smart, tell her about your trip to Europe, give her something to get EXCITED about. Don't hate the other guy because he has better game than you.

 

[flint]

You're absolutely wrong about what I said about growing a pair. I would argue that most people on this site wouldn't even need advice if they simple went for it all of the time. If you constantly push your boundaries you'll see for yourself what works and what doesn't work all of the time.

What you want is for someone to come on right now and be like "Say this, then do this". It doesn't work that way. It's more about your attitude and mindset when you're around people in general, not what specifically you're saying.

And don't hate on me dude I'm just trying to help you out, if you don't like my advice then just listen to someone else no biggy.

 

[Scion]

Again you seem very into yourself when you say "that's the **** I have to put with". What? Just because you are talking to her she has to give you sex? Come on dude, step it up, get some game. Attract her, intrigue her, buy her a drink, be funny, be smart, tell her about your trip to Europe, give her something to get EXCITED about. Don't hate the other guy because he has better game than you.

except he didn't do anything, all he said was "hi" to her and she decided to blow me off and start a conversation with him. It kind of caught me by surprise and I found it really rude. I'm not hating the guy, since she left with someone else. I'm more pissed at her for being rude.

 

[Scion]

You're absolutely wrong about what I said about growing a pair. I would argue that most people on this site wouldn't even need advice if they simple went for it all of the time. If you constantly push your boundaries you'll see for yourself what works and what doesn't work all of the time.

What you want is for someone to come on right now and be like "Say this, then do this". It doesn't work that way. It's more about your attitude and mindset when you're around people in general, not what specifically you're saying.

And don't hate on me dude I'm just trying to help you out, if you don't like my advice then just listen to someone else no biggy.

I'm not hating on you. Just find it surprising you automatically assume I'm some out of shape slob (well, not just you, I've noticed that assumption from a lot of people on this site when there's a thread about someone bad with women). I can guarantee that if you saw me you wouldn't think I would have a problem with women (no one knows I'm a virgin, and I don't want to tell anyone). But if it is about my attitude then how do I fix that? The only reason I'm asking is because you think that might be the problem so maybe you have a solution. Not hating, but more specific info would be more useful than a broad statement like "grow a pair".

 

[Poonani Maker]

Why does everyone tell ppl to start working out on this site? I do work out, I go to the gym 4 days a week. I used to work out at least an hour everyday. I don't need to "start" working out. Right now the way I'm "improving" myself in by finishing school and getting a high paying job, that's what I want to concentrate on. And like I said I don't know what to do. "Growing a pair" will do **** when I keep doing the wrong things with girls. If someone on this site could tell me what I should be doing then I probably would (as long as it's not ridiculous).

I know EXACTLY what your problem is, Scion. YOU jack off. And I mean A LOT. I see mustard and ketchup and pickles. I see someone who eats a lot of fast food and jacks off, and goes to school so that he can "get a high-paying job" (in a sh!t economy no less). Dude, you need to get out, go rock climbing, go mountain biking, go race some cars, the idea, here, is to take some RISKS, toughen up (not just lift weights - I NEVER lift weights, but I RUN, and I work my ass off). If you have direction, you have life. YOU have NO direction, or Sense of direction. Buy a compass, dude. Go out into the wilderness and attempttttt to survive. Until you develop a manly attitude, no club woman is ever gonna want you.