I Can't Get ANY Girl

[Leopold]

You mean Dr. Plump from Manhood Academy? I used to visit their site but dropped their forums. I agree mostly with their philosophies but never grasped their delivery.

Its kind of like shark said... I only have ONE friend and no social circle at all. I'm very damaged socially and I need to fix it. Its just not easy getting into a social circle like that out of the sudden.

I i do have a life and hobbies...
I'm an artist so that's my passion (I'm planning to go back to school), I'm extremely active, work out on my body and eat healthy; I'm outgoing and I'm confident and not afraid to dance (like most guys), or go out and have fun take risks and be myself; I like helping my friend work on his racing car and go cruising; I speak and write fluently on two languages so I can interact with twice as many people than others, I'm not afraid to make a speech to a whole group of strangers; I like taking the lead and bear with its responsibilities, etc etc. So, please don't assume I got nothing going on in my life and have nothing to offer to a girl, because that's not true. I truly believe I have a LOT of value and I learned to respect it and value it myself since I discovered this site.

If any of you really want to help me out I would gladly be willing to chat more on detail in person.

Yes, I'm really tired of getting contradicting advises (ex: you need to smile more, if you smile too much you look gay, if you smirk you look like a creeper, fix it. Don't wear black clothes cause it makes you look like a a killer, wear black tight clothes to reveal more or your fit body, if you show your muscles you look too intimidating and girls will think you will strangle them, etc etc).

I HIGHLY appreciate all the time you all spend onto helping my persona and I WILL follow your examples into helping future generations of ssuavers as I gather my own personal experiences.

Like i said before. You really want to help my cause? Talk to me, that's what I really need. Maybe you notice a few things I could improve or correct on my body language or just maybe you change your mind about me. I'm WILLING of taking risk in exposing myself to strangers over the net in a chance of improving myself and be successful not just with girls but as a better MAN.

The huge tower confidence I built over the past year is slowly crumbling down little by little (not because of what others think of me) as I see no results for my hard work. That's why I'm in need to attend to a therapist who I already have a meeting scheduled with. I REFUSE to live in the darkness I used to be before. I feel defeated now but I'll strive to keep fighting for improvement.

If you feel like it pm me and I'll send you my skype info and we can meet and chat. Who knows, maybe I'll return the favor one day in some way.

P.S. About the whole the whole model thing... I don't need an Adonis' face to be one. When you think about body builders, warriors, heroes, fitness models or just "manly' figures do you think they all have prince charming like faces? Just watch me... I'm going to be more than a model, I'm going to be a ROLE MODEL. This is a goal!

P.S.S. I cant change the face I was born with; 5.8 inches is not small, it's AVERAGE (not my fault people are giants). If a broad is too narrow to let these things get into her head she can go fvck herself.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You mean Dr. Plump from Manhood Academy? I used to visit their site but dropped their forums. I agree mostly with their philosophies but never grasped their delivery.

Yes, Professor Plum.

I once mentioned here on SS that I challenged this ranting little dweeb and had a good time mopping the floor with him in a chat room, and you challenged and insulted me on that.

That revealed a lot about you and of course I didn't respond to your post.

What are the "results from your hard work" that you're expecting to see? What are your expectations?

A lot of men around here are shooting for the imaginary "holy grail" of universal attraction, which is almost never possible. We must be content to attract a certain type or subset of women.

 

[GotED?]

I quite agree wholeheartedly with those who posted that when they were younger in the years, they did not realize how 'good looking' they were. I recommend those younger folks here (well, I'm 40 so I am beyond the hill) take a good look at your upbringing and your inherent qualities that are conditioned by your genetics, family, childhood, etc.

I was raised by a mother who was very masculine, unaffectionate at best, and never took time to look out for my self-esteem. My mother was extremely emotional, drama queen, highly conflict driven; all of this drove my self-esteem down into the drain because I fought hard to please my own mother. I had a sister who never truly complimented me on anything but I always sensed there was some jealousy from the attention I get from my parents because I was the younger one. My father was pretty much not there when it comes to parenting and showing me how to become a man. He did not really know how to be a father because his father never was there either.

Take some time to look at your history on how you become WHO YOU ARE NOW. Seriously - why are you shy? Why are you insecure? Why are you afraid? Why do you feel ugly or unhappy looking at the mirror?

I had all these symptoms for 30+ years, until after being involved with a BPD that almost tored up my dreams in life that I seriously reflected back on how I was raised, conditioned, and tormented by the after effects of earlier years.

When I REALIZED and BELIEVED that I was getting women's attentions more and more, my self-talk became more positive - and I attracted more and more women. It came to a point where I now KNOW I am quite an attractive guy that can bring in most women I want to bring in of higher quality. But it took me almost half a life time to realize that I am a 8 or 9 instead of a 3 or 4.

Someone mentioned 'Self Fulfilling Prophecy' - what you think is what you create in life. This is absolutely true - how you feel about yourself is going to come out in people's perception of you which is their reality no matter how you want to fake it. When you feel sexy, attractive, desirable - half the battle is won over - the rest is left to fate/chance.

Do yourself a favor, look inward (and outward of course, and I truly believe in getting seriously fit wardrobe and good hair cut!) deeply and fix what is there before you attempt to game women, because if you are not ready on the inside, you will just keep defeating yourself (along with women kicking your arse to help you) and it is a neverending downward spiral.

Good luck.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Poonani Maker]

As for HOW to get there, I don't know.

You get there by becoming valuable, realistically, and in your own mind, you Know you've been places, done things, in harsh conditions, that not many other people have gone and done, just extreme like "why am I hear?" things, "I could be killed or kill someone else here; there's no margin for error" yet you complete your mission day in and day out. If you do something where 70% or more who attempt doing it gets washed out, then you should have no problem being bothered by what ANY b!tches says or thinks (and they HATE it, cause they wanta see you crack, but it's not happenin, I've had women Managers fired for going to such extreme looney measures to "crack" me, just cause I's refuses to give them attention, they can't stop themselves from traveling into extremely unstable territory, and thus, their own demise. They can beat on my chest all they want, but I won't crack).

You'll have no much problem dealing with what any Man, for that matter, tries in order to crack you, but some men are way more experienced than you even, and you may start to feel uncomfortable around a Real confident dude. I have, because, I know this dude Must have done some serious killing in war or something, ok, you've got me beat, I yield to you, a real fighter, in Real serious horrific environments. It's an emotional sculpturing of character. You gotta take risk (beyond approaching women) in real life and death life scenarios to be able to shunt what anyone says or does toward you. Take up racing, skiing, cliff-diving, shooting, camping in the woods on your own, or something.

 

[Leopold]

Yes, Professor Plum.

I once mentioned here on SS that I challenged this ranting little dweeb and had a good time mopping the floor with him in a chat room, and you challenged and insulted me on that.

That revealed a lot about you and of course I didn't respond to your post.

What are the "results from your hard work" that you're expecting to see? What are your expectations?

A lot of men around here are shooting for the imaginary "holy grail" of universal attraction, which is almost never possible. We must be content to attract a certain type or subset of women.

Sorry I dont recall that, I tried searching through my posts but cant find anything.

It doesn't sound like something I would have done to tell you the truth. I usually have respect for your posts, and insulting you? As far as I can remember I only meant to insult someone online who was a gay sticking up for feminism. Maybe you are confusing me? (I could be wrong and if I am then I apologize).

As my expectations goes... First, I just want to kill this ghost and finally get laid with a decent looking girl I feel genuine attracted to (which shouldn't be as hard as it is).

Later after that, I just want to meet more women and expand my social circle to have plenty of options. I also want to experiment with elder women.

I don't think those expectations are unrealistic.

 

[Leopold]

Learn to be congruent. I apparently give off the strong silent type vibe, which suits my appearance a lot more. I actually used to be quite loud. Calming down, not talking so much and just taking a role of playful indifference has helped my game tremendously.
.

I think this is where my issue is. You see, I'm pretty sure I'm perceived at the workplace like a player. Funny thing this is exactly how I act there because I want to be on my top behavior.

However, outside when I want to approach.... I tend to be sometimes very aggressive, loud, I fake laugh too much and smile too much sometimes. I think I should be more calm.

Hard part is that I have to become aware of my actions and try to change and be more serious but yet friendly and approachable. I have no clue how I am going to eve begin.

 

[switch]

some people are becoming negative,misogynist ,homo-looking weirdos
i will ask ONE...just ONE question guys....WTF is happening to this forum?

 

[Bukkake]

some people are becoming negative,misogynist ,homo-looking weirdos
i will ask ONE...just ONE question guys....WTF is happening to this forum?

I completely agree. This place is bumming me out. Some of you need to seriously get your sh1t together.

Go outside, workout more, talk to women even if they are a little below average, whatever, just quit whining.

 

[Leopold]

I completely agree. This place is bumming me out. Some of you need to seriously get your sh1t together.

Go outside, workout more, talk to women even if they are a little below average, whatever, just quit whining.

No offense, but these kind of replies are the ones that pisses me off. You are that needs to "quit whining". Seriously, if you have nothing good to say or contribute then its better to ignore this thread and don't say nothing. After all, every time you post on it you are bumping up the thread instead of letting it die if that's the real intent you are claiming.

It makes me think that you are not able (or simply don't want to) to put yourself on my shoes and others with similar situation to mines and just bltch.

Go outise?
I just came from outside, nothing happened. Go where?!?! On a Thursday afternoon-night by myself? Don't tell me a bar!! Almost all of us here know that you need some sort of social proof. What does a person like me who drinks only socially going to do by myself on random bar I have no idea what is has to offer on a ladies free drinks night and getting **** blocked by her group? Yes, waste my time just sitting there alone on a stool all night wasting money because its not like I particular enjoy drinking. Same applies on clubs, coffee shops, libraries etc.

Workout more?
Bltch for god sake!! (not you, don't take it personally) That's exactly what I'm doing RIGHT NOW as I'm typing this. Do you even read my previous posts? Lifting is all I do nowadays like every god dam day of the week. I sleep, work, lift, hobbies, go to sleep (that's what my life is every day).

Talk to women even if they are a little below average?
THIS is what I DO every day because ITS MY JOB!! No I'm not socially awkward I can manage and lead conversations perfectly fine. Am I going to try to escalate with a client in risking my job or my reputation? DELUSIONAL!!

Lower my standards? HELL NOT!!! Because of this type of attitude on guys its why fat whales have so many options and I have none.

My problem is clearly that I have no friends. I only have one and he cant be part of everything I do. I'm all pretty much by myself! No family members or co workers don't count.

Heck!! this thread is turning counter productive already and its releasing all the negativity bottled up in me. I have to get away!!! :box:

 

[GotED?]

Dude - this is THE INTERNET

Everyone and anyone, including your fooken mother, father, grandma, and maybe even your 4 yr old cousin can be on here posting some fooked up message.

Because this is THE INTERNET, stop taking everything personally - as anyone and everyone has the right to post from something totally out of the depth of their heart and mind with good intentions to help another man out, or to put you int othe sh*ts because this is THE INTERNET.


Everyone is entitled to their opinions on THE INTERNET - whether you like it or not, it is not a place for the weak. As much as we dislike other people's opinions, it is a part of learning in life to be more tolerant and open minded; as well as a social skill to learn and have in the end.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Fly By Night]

I have a couple questions:

Do you think there is some formula out there to get women?

Why are you trying to use other people as a means to get women instead of actually enjoying their company?

What will you do if you got a social circle, but still can't get women? What variable will you add to your "formula"?

Why does it seem like the only reason why you dress up nice, work out, and have "hobbies" is to attract women?

Are you putting women on a pedestal?


I only go to the gym 3 times a week, still on the skinny side but I am sculpted. I refuse to wear tighter clothing because I feel uncomfortable in them (I used to wear extremely baggy clothing like a "gangsta", now I wear fitted clothes). I like to bum out and play video games. I dress up nice only because I like the way I look in the clothes, if not, I'm wearing sweatpants or plain tees. Am I getting attention from women left and right, no way, but I still find women who are interested in me. Who gives a f**k if a woman wants to laugh at me, it just means she's not worth my time.

90% of the time (not exaggerating) when I find a woman who is interested in me, I am not even thinking about "how I should game her", I mostly just talk about sh!t I'm interested and joke around with her. This is really bad advice according to the usual way it is given, but you really have to just be yourself. If she likes you, it is a thousand times easier to get her. The ones who don't will weed themselves out.

But the one thing you can't do is to sell your soul to attract women. They can literally smell the fake off of you.

Lower my standards? HELL NOT!!! Because of this type of attitude on guys its why fat whales have so many options and I have none.

Technically you would have more options if you did LOL, but it's true. I don't know if you think you "deserve" a 10, but looking at your pics, you should be able to bag a 9, dude. The only problem that might be left is your inner game.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Time for a trip to China bro. You'll have trouble walking down the street and NOT getting hit on. North America is the problem, not you.

Hit the website DATE IN ASIA for an idea... I saw one of the guys surfing that site yesterday, he had 72 responses from girls as young as 18, he's 42.

 

[Asasione]

Have you ever checked this site:
http://www.theattractionforums.com/best-forum/133565-understanding-building-up-low-confidence.html
Great resources here, only place worth checking IMO:
http://www.theattractionforums.com/best-forum/

Whatever you've been doing hasn't worked so far so try something different, anything as long its not the same. Go some new places, talk to new guys, girls, people on the street, its not healthy fixating on women's hate of you whether its there or not, this is why a**holes do well, think of yourself and first and foremost come to understand what you have to offer and your qualities as a person and you will gain confidence based on that. Make sure you're always doing and finding things that make you happy and stop focusing on nonsense like women's laughter or lack of play, there's too much good stuff to be excited about for me to be worried what some people think of me, my social circle is small, I talk to few people on my cell regularly and I'm too lazy to text my GF (or anybody) I prefer calls, but guess what I make friends and talk to people as easy as breathing cause I've been doing it for years, I never worry about being lonely, or women even when I have none (its too easy to get one), worrying has never gotten me results only action and confidence in myself and my abilities. Hope you do well

 

[Slickster]

Schwank: If you really are getting those kinds of negative responses from women just passing by then something is seriously wrong with your look. Maybe post a pic and we can help you out. You say you are goofy looking well that CAN be fixed. You need to change how you look. You need to find a style that suits you.

The other big problem is your attitude. I know you are feeling negative right now but you have to realize just how much that negativity shows on the outside. It's going to be really tough for you to ever find a woman if you don't have any friends. Make that your focus first and change your look. You'll be surprised how much your outlook will change.

Leopold: You are a good looking guy but I really think you need a better hair style. I know that sounds picky but I just don't think the WW2 slick to the side look works for you. It makes you look creepy. I don't mean that as an insult at all. Just want to help. Whatever it is, it doesn't work.

Your pics portray a "flashy" dude but does that match your personality. Even if it does what kind of chick is a really flashy looking guy going to attract? Are those the type of women you are after? If so are your expectations of that type of woman realistic?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you might want to tone it down a little and try to come across as a little more genuine. Some guys try too hard to stand out or distinguish themselves as "above" the average guy but fail to realize that they almost alienate themselves by doing so. People can become uncomfortable around you if you look too "done up". This may be affecting your ability to find friends. Remember if you are a good looking guy with a great body you will look great wearing rags.



I think both of you have problems with your "look", and probably for very different reasons. Finding what works for you is an experiment but you have to be open to change and trying different things. If whatever you have going on isnt working its time for something else.

Too many times I see guys hell bent on a certain style just because they want to be different than the masses. They figure that some how this style defines them and makes them more attractive. What they fail to see is that their "style" is effectively eliminating a large percentage of the female population who just won't give them a second look because of it. It's great to try and be individual but if your goal is to attract women or even just make friends you are better off going for more of a classic look and expressing your individuality more subtly.