I built it, they didn't come

[redskinsfan92]

I have (mentioned about it in this thread too). The big question is, should I completely give up trying to date women and make escorts a permanent habit.

Like I've said many times in this thread, I'm not looking for companionship or love. Sex is the main goal for me, at least for now, and I see no problem with escorts. However, there is one important thing that an escort cannot offer: genuine submission based on desire.

I keep referring to the one LTR I had in my 20s, because it really was a very good relationship. She was very submissive to me in every way, and that's what I miss the most. I can never experience that with escorts.

Ok, so I'm correct on the geniune desire from her. Yeah, I understand that.

 

[redskinsfan92]

What I read here is that "sex is the main goal for me...."

I didn't read " 'genuine submissive sex based on true desire' is the main goal for me"
You only stated that type of sex is important. You didn't state it is the main goal.

A little bit negative in your reasoning you could never experience that importance with escorts.
Why not? Anything may happen, anything is possible.

Stick to your main goal and maybe try sharing all these thoughts in this thread with one of the escorts you're hardest for and that you seem to keep hiring over and over.
Enough time spent together and two people may very well start genuinely desiring each other. Its my impression escorts don't work as escorts their whole lives anyways.

Look after your needs and goals first.

There are two types of sexual intercourse. Genuine desire and transactional. Men want the geniune desire. They settle for transactional, but seek genuine desire. It is in our firmware.

 

[bat soup]

The problem is that women are not going to take the initiative and expecting them to do so dooms you to failure. It is very rare that women approach men. If a woman likes you she'll maybe drop hints and hang around you waiting for you to make a move but if you don't notice she'll quickly move on.

Just being attractive is not enough for a man. You also have to be confident and approach women.

 

[Medina]

Your thread (and others like it) are the reason I ditched the redpill and instead took the black

Hair transplant, beard game, low fat percentage, height lifts, new clothes... the results were night and day

People now approach you. Not just women. But everyone. Everyone wants to be your friend now

And as you climb the social ladder, the indifferent redpill stuff becomes 2nd nature anyway. Because you actually have real options

Guys like Mickey Rourke and Donald Trump went too far. But guys like Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell have kept looksmaxing tight. They look great for 50

Are those guys pussies? Hell no. They are savages, born leaders etc. They understand, if you don't maintain the looks, it's over

 

[bat soup]

Your main issue is that you're not approaching women in real life. If you are really as attractive as you say you are, then a high percentage of the women that you approach would be interested. But it's unrealistic to expect attractive women to approach you (at least, not 99% of the time) because women are passive by nature, so you need to learn how to overcome your anxieties and approach women.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Your thread (and others like it) are the reason I ditched the redpill and instead took the black

Hair transplant, beard game, low fat percentage, height lifts, new clothes... the results were night and day

People now approach you. Not just women. But everyone. Everyone wants to be your friend now

And as you climb the social ladder, the indifferent redpill stuff becomes 2nd nature anyway. Because you actually have real options

Guys like Mickey Rourke and Donald Trump went too far. But guys like Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell have kept looksmaxing tight. They look great for 50

Are those guys pussies? Hell no. They are savages, born leaders etc. They understand, if you don't maintain the looks, it's over

I'm always shocked when I see Mickey Rourke in videos or pictures. How the f*ck do you go so far man?!

 

[Suave88]

Hi guys,

I've just recently discovered this site, but many of the concepts have been familiar to me for years, decades even. I'm not really about learning game, but I read the "book of Pook", and many of the concepts in that series of posts have been second nature to me for my whole life.

I thought I'd collect my thoughts and write about my situation to clear my mind a bit. Any comments are of course welcome.

Here's a short version of the long story that follows:
- 36 years old, life in good order
- Physically fit, at peak fitness
- High status profession, financially well of
- Extreme lifestyle, very much a lone wolf type of guy
- Always been red-pilled, never put any woman on a pedestal
- Girls actually chased me in my early 20s, I was too busy chasing my own dreams
- Now, over a decade later - achieved most of my goals, but no sex life, zero women in social circle
- Have stopped trying to date women, puzzled by today's dating scene - looking for solutions



Long story (I'll break this up into smaller parts):


Let me start with the good things

My life is, in many ways, better than what I had expected it could be when growing up. I come from a lower middle class family from a poor country in Europe. At 36, I'm healthy, in the best shape of my life. I go to gym 4-5x a week and have the same, if not better, physique that I had in my early 20s (I have more muscle mass now than back then, body fat is consistently 10-15%).

I've climbed the corporate ladder to reach a comfortable position with a lot of freedom and great coworkers. It's a high status profession and the pay is very good, too. The only thing I don't like about it is commuting, but what can you do.

On top of my day job, a couple of years ago I started a side business. It has recently started paying quite well, and with three sources of income (career job, side business, and investments), I'm doing quite well financially.

I've achieved many of the things I've set as goals. I played competitive sports when I was younger. I traveled the world in my early 20s. I got the "dream career" in the corporate world. I don't have many items on my checklist anymore. These days, I'm mainly interested in health, and growing my side business and seeing if it can really take off in the coming years.

I'm single, and have been for years. Never married, only had one long-term relationship in my life. I've always been the type of guy who did his own thing, did not follow others' advice. And I really mean that. I have had to fight against the herd quite a few times regarding life choices. I have had to leave behind old friends several times in life and find new ones who are more like-minded.



Lifestyle, personality, and problems

My lifestyle has always been quite extreme. I rarely stop to "have fun" in the sense that most people talk about having fun. I don't party, I don't drink, I don't relax the same way that most people do. This is VERY important, something that cannot be changed: To me, having fun is progressing, competing and challenging oneself. Yes, I did go to parties and had the typical college experience when I was young, but I never liked it much, I just wanted to experience it to understand what it's all about.

The same goes with relationships. I really, really dislike hanging out in a pointless way. I just cannot do it - there has to be a purpose, such as playing a sport, having a meaningful conversation, or learning something new. But any type of "hey you wanna come over, have a few beers and watch the game" I've almost always responded with "no thanks". I cannot change this part in myself, I have tried hard when I was younger.

My days are mainly comprised of these activities:
- Workdays at the office (about 9 hours including commuting)
- Workouts and recovering (0-2 hours per day)
- Developing/running side business (0-4 hours per day)
- Other sports (golf, skiing, tennis, etc.) (mainly on weekends/vacations)
- Reading/learning new things (2-4 hours per day)
- Sleeping (8 hours per day)

I like all this about my life. I have plenty of stuff to do. I'm never bored. I've never really been bored.

But here's what I'm missing big time: sex, intimacy, even a relationship. No, I'm not looking for love or companionship (I don't mind those things, but I'm not actively seeking them), but a regular sex life.

My personality seems to require a traditional type of woman - one who is after a guy like myself. I have experienced it once, in my early 20s. I met a girl who was very feminine. She admired my dedication and just wanted to be in my boat. I was the captain, she was the passenger. She did not require any "entertainment" like going out or spending time doing pointless stuff. I just ****ed her silly, and the rest of the time I carried on with my own stuff. We had the funny conversations and stuff that couples do, even traveled together, but it was all on my terms. Maybe she secretly wanted something more, but she seemed very content with what she got. Eventually after a few years, I got too focused on my own things and broke up with her.

I need a relationship to be of the type where she is very feminine and submissive. I simply would not enter any other type of relationship. Sometimes I wonder if the ideal "relationship" for me would be with a hooker or an escort, since I'm mainly after sex. But I am interested in some kind of stability, so I want to be exclusive with just one person. I just need to be the dominant person in the relationship.

I'm quite rebellious by nature, and have a hard time playing a certain role or doing favors for other people. I'm very straightforward with everything and don't really care about other people's feelings. Basically, I'm the guy in the room who calls bull**** first. As for dating, I'm not able to jump through hoops to date a woman. I absolutely hate trying to impress other people, including women, because that puts you in an inferior position, like you need to prove something. In my view, she either likes you the way you are, and if not, it's her loss (blunt, I know).

My social circle consists of only men, most of whom have a somewhat similar personality to mine. Almost all of them are married with kids though, so I'm an odd person in that sense. I have zero female friends and acquaintances outside work. I've never had any female friends, in fact, no woman has ever wanted to be my friend and vice versa (I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing).

So as you can understand from the above, my situation is probably not very typical. I realize I'm a pretty extreme person, and I've tried changing and playing along when I was younger, but by this age, my personality is very much what it is.

Here is a guy who claims to have money, good job, and be physically appealing. Why doesnt he have any puss? Take a note of it, there are members in here who claim social status is a magnet for chicks. He is a high value, why is he single? No low or high value chick chasing Mr.OP.

 

[bat soup]

Here is a guy who claims to have money, good job, and be physically appealing. Why doesnt he have any puss? Take a note of it, there are members in here who claim social status is a magnet for chicks. He is a high value, why is he single? No low or high value chick chasing Mr.OP.

Because he is as passive as a doorknob.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Here is a guy who claims to have money, good job, and be physically appealing. Why doesnt he have any puss? Take a note of it, there are members in here who claim social status is a magnet for chicks. He is a high value, why is he single? No low or high value chick chasing Mr.OP.

I have heard that you must have 2 of 3 things.
Those 3 things are
Looks
Status
Game
He only has status.

 

[allergictobs]

A little bit negative in your reasoning you could never experience that importance with escorts.
Why not? Anything may happen, anything is possible.

Stick to your main goal and maybe try sharing all these thoughts in this thread with one of the escorts you're hardest for and that you seem to keep hiring over and over.
Enough time spent together and two people may very well start genuinely desiring each other. Its my impression escorts don't work as escorts their whole lives anyways.

Interesting thought. I guess this could happen, and if it did, it would probably be a very satisfying experience.

In general, regarding escorts vs. dating women, I view it like this (oversimplified):
genuine desire from attractive (top 20%) women > escorts > genuine desire from 80% of women

 

[allergictobs]

There is no risk. I used to be a lowly ranked person in the corporate world sleeping with highly ranked females. In your heart of hearts you know sexual tension is swimming all over the place.

Women are not some asexual robots we have to seduce lmao.

By the way most of you talk, it seems like no one is having casual sex.

But in the real world everyone is having casual sex.

I'm sure it works that way, when those women have the upper hand in the corporate world. But now flip it so that you're the high ranked male sleeping with low ranked females. One of them gets pissed at some point, your career is toast (they will accuse you of "abusing your power"). Granted, it's rare, but it does happen.

Anyways, I believe you are right about casual sex in general.

 

[allergictobs]

Here is a guy who claims to have money, good job, and be physically appealing. Why doesnt he have any puss? Take a note of it, there are members in here who claim social status is a magnet for chicks. He is a high value, why is he single? No low or high value chick chasing Mr.OP.

Maybe because I have barely met any new women in the past 5 years?

For the Nth time, it's a personality/lifestyle and social circle issue. The whole discussion in this thread is supposed to center around if I should and how I should modify my lifestyle to come in contact with more women (and there have already been many great posts by several users, which I'm thankful for).

Some guys insist on making it a looks issue or a game issue - it's neither, it's simply a question of not being in contact with women enough.

 

[Suave88]

Maybe because I have barely met any new women in the past 5 years?

For the Nth time, it's a personality/lifestyle and social circle issue. The whole discussion in this thread is supposed to center around if I should and how I should modify my lifestyle to come in contact with more women (and there have already been many great posts by several users, which I'm thankful for).

Some guys insist on making it a looks issue or a game issue - it's neither, it's simply a question of not being in contact with women enough.

Tell me your year of birth.

 

[bat soup]

If you don't approach women they won't approach you. Women are passive and if you're just as passive as they are, nothing much will ever happen for you.

 

[Suave88]

If you don't approach women they won't approach you. Women are passive and if you're just as passive as they are, nothing much will ever happen for you.

I believe your song. Some women approach me. Some even hover around me.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Interesting thought. I guess this could happen, and if it did, it would probably be a very satisfying experience.

In general, regarding escorts vs. dating women, I view it like this (oversimplified):
genuine desire from attractive (top 20%) women > escorts > genuine desire from 80% of women

so take the middle ground(according to this order of 'greater than' s) and be content/satisfied/satiated until I don't know when....

 

[allergictobs]

His post is similar to that guy sanghelios, they have this internal value system that predominates their thinking that mostly has to do with just working and making money but is terribly boring to women

You are partly right, but it's not just making money and working. It's about being constantly occupied by things I care deeply about. I'm almost tormented by these things. In other words, I'm never "free". To an outsider, it probably looks very boring.

For example, I'm often home in the evenings, sitting quietly just reading a book, doing some programming on a computer, or trying to understand some stuff about work or life in general. An outsider (a woman, perhaps), would look at this in action and think "What a boring guy, he just stays in his home quietly at night. He must have such a boring life". In reality, my mind is racing as fast as it can. I'm often incredibly excited to go home from work and get to tackle things that have been on my mind. It's a strong drive to be a better version of myself tomorrow than I am today. It also applies to workouts and keeping physically fit.

Here's another way to look at it:
Imagine you forcefully take me to a party of some sort. I don't know anyone there. You say "go mingle with these people". I say "but I don't have anything in common with them". You say "just go, it'll be fun". I say "Look, I have at least three things in my mind that are bugging me and I want to work on them. On top of that, you made me miss a workout because of this. Unless you can point to me exactly how I can get something good out of this, I'm wasting my time."

I hope this helps to understand my situation a bit better.

 

[nicksaiz65]

OP, I admire your attitude. You're true to yourself, something I always preach around here but that's not always easy in practice. It sounds like your mindset is strong.

I'm going to echo what others have said here, which is that in order to meet women you'll have to put yourself in environments where they hang out. It doesn't have to be a bar, although even if it is you can still go and drink a Coke.

Since you have such a structured lifestyle, I think the best way for you to approach this is simply as another project, like your side business or your workouts. You can devote between zero and X amount of hours on cultivating your social circle to include more women. Adjust your schedule and just add it to your "to do" list. That way it won't seem like a pointless activity but something you're actively working on.

The good news is that with your mindset, if you simply place yourself in settings with more females, you'll probably do very well. Most women will be intrigued not only by your success but by your personal code and that you're not eager to bend your rules just for pu$$y. There will be no need for you to "try to impress" her because she'll be impressed just getting to know you. And as long as you're upfront about your desires (without being blunt or making her feel slvtty) you won't have to commit to anything long term.

I always liked the analogy of treating improving with women like going to the gym. You have to do the "workouts" (approach and talk to women) even if you don't always feel like it, or you won't get any results. Logging the amount of hours, or approaches or whatever that you do lets you treat it logically, track your progress like you would a good workout routine, and therefore get the results you want.

 

[aleste82]

OP has no game
OP doesn't want to learn game
OP thinks is successful, is not
OP don't get it
OP wont reproduce
OP gene disappear. Next.

 

[pipeman84]

With age, I've become increasingly straightforward with women. I call their bs all the time at workplace. I've now reached a point where if I were to go out with a nice girl, I might just say "Look, I'm not going to go through the traditional dating ritual. I like you and want to take you to my place and ****. Just say no if you don't want to do that, and we save a lot of time." Yeah...that's not going to go well, and since that's about the most effort I'm able to put into dating games at this age, I've figured I should just give up?

That's the crux of the problem. It's your vibe, not your looks (bald...ridiculous suggestion, you go tell Jason Statham that baldness is a hindrance to getting women) or height (5ft9). Your current vibe is only suited, as you yourself suspected, for escorts. Trying to go to pubs, cafes or some other places you don't go just to meet women won't work...beside your current vibe that already repels them, you'll have the extra 'WTF am I doing here, wish I was somewhere else' subtle look on you.