I broke it off

ARguy

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I broke up with my girlfriend and I insanely miss her but I think I made the right move... Of course I'll never know for sure.

Background: she had strong feelings for her Ex. She claimed to be over him. So we got together only months after they broke up which was probably a mistake.

Our relationship was great and we had fun and a lot of communication, more in the form of texts and phone conversations because even though it's not that far, we lived around 30 miles away from each other.

Like I said we talked a lot and then suddenly, she cut off all communication as in no text talk anything for two straight days with me. She was going through a lot of things with family so I wanted to give her time. But in reality she would continue to go on facebook and change profile pics, etc. but not talk to me.

Then out of the blue she texted me. I called her explained everything and she told me I'll tell you the truth. I still love my ex, but I don't want to(it wasn't a healthy relationship for them). However, later she begins to tell me(same day) that she doesn't love him not like that, but she also tells me that those 2 days were she wasn't talking to me she was talking to the ex. Telling me she is confused, when there shouldn't be a reason for that unless, as I personally feel is because she still has feelings for him.

So I told her what I felt. That is that I felt she didn't have enough time to recover from the ex and that our relationship was probably doomed from the start. We broke up.

It's so hard though because I really liked her and I miss her greatly. I want to. Believe her when she says that as far as the ex there's nothing there but she contradicts herself and the facts show otherwise.

I cant get over the feeling of never really knowing the truth and it hurts and I want it to go away.
 

PokerStar

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hey bro,

you made the right move. you should be feeling proud of yourself. you recognized the signs, didnt waste anytime, and got out with your skin and sanity intact.

For sure you will miss her. its like a huge empty void in your life. but time will heal wounds and even though you dont want to hear this but you will meet more beautiful women with great personalities to match.

You now have time to work and improve yourself for the next stage or chapter in your life.

So hold your head high, never look back, and be positive. its 2012 time to grab your balls and be a man!!!
 

EFFORT

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ARguy said:
But in reality she would continue to go on facebook and change profile pics, etc. but not talk to me.
Hey ARguy, welcome to the forums.

Delete your facebook. I see a lot of guys getting there feelings hurt spying around on facebook. Get out of that world, its not helping you. The last thing you need to do now post break up is stalk her page.

In terms of the truth. You got into a relationship with a woman who wasn't over an ex. She had fun with you and cares for you on some level, but she isn't over her ex.

I can empathize with your pain, its something we've all felt. It'll take time to get yourself back to normal again. Convert the hurt you feel into will power and use it on the these points.

- Go no contact with the ex. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056&highlight=contact

- this book here along with NC will help a lot http://howtohealabrokenheartin30days.com/

- Set some goals. Where do you want to be in the next year? 3 years? 10years? 25 years? Plan out your career. Explore what town/city/country would be a good fit for you. Take some trips to different places. Imagine your funeral. Who would be there? What do you want people to say? What was your contribution to the world?

- Join/go to the gym , start a training regimen and develop a healthy diet

- Train in some martial art

- attend yoga classes, Pilates classes

- Rearrange your room, become neat, don't tolerate any clutter

- Join Toastmasters

- Spend a lot of times with your friends and meet new ones

- Strengthen the relationships with your family

- Volunteer

- Take Salsa classes

- Look into some self development programs. David D's Advanced series is a good starting point.

- Approach 1 new woman everyday

- Play pick up sports

- Spend sometime in nature, walks, hiking, camping

- Watch inspiring movies

- Learn to play a musical instrument


The pain will slowly go away. It'll fluctuate. Some days will be worse than others. You'll wake up and feel cured one day and the next day feel like you just broke up. Just keep pushing forward and eventually you'll wake up feeling cured everyday :rockon:
 

J Roc

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Congratulations! You are now free to get a better woman! Let the celebration begin!!!
 

5string

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It was the right thing to do. You don't really want her back after her ex has been fvcking her again do you?

Classic example of a female following her emotions and being ruled by them.

This was your gain and her loss.

Get rid of, and delete everything associated with her like the other posters suggested.
 

ARguy

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Thanks guys. Made me feel better about my decision. It's hard not knowing for sure what her feelings are but everything points to what I told you guys and told her but I always want to defend her and trust her, but my gut says don't.
 

sinnerman

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you did the right thing. whenever you've an ex lurking in the background its a BIG red flag. Go No Contact & maintain it no matter what. If you initiate contact you lose. Stay strong. All the best
 

window

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yes you did the right thing, no contact with ex's period. Some guys will tolerate this bs. I read one post where the ex was still her best friend and was going to be a big part of her life forever lol and if the guy didnt like it then it was off ! meh
 

ARguy

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Thank you guys. I know I just need the time. Oddly enough she texted me about an hour ago asking if I wanted to go bowling with her friends. Am I making the right move by not replying. That's weird to me. I want to be friends with here but I think this is too Soon. Like what is the motive.
 

window

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yeah no contact...do you want to be friends with her or do you want a romantic relationship...

text her..."when your ex is gone for good..."

then go no contact.
 

Masculinity

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window said:
yeah no contact...do you want to be friends with her or do you want a romantic relationship...

text her..."when your ex is gone for good..."

then go no contact.
Don't text her back. If she really wants you she will come back crawling to you. Don't initiate contact with her. Read the No Contact Challenge and follow it every step. It it a lot of grief. From the sound of it, you dodged an AK47 bullet, so keep your chin up & walk straight, bro.
 
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