I became more mature but also more boring

[nelysses]

Normally I was like a kid who was always laughing and having fun. There were also a lot of girly things like gossiping.

It changed over time, I became more mature. But besides that I feel more boring now. I started to approach everything seriously. I started to be proud of nothing before...
As a result of this I saw that a girl I liked liked a post on Instagram that said "I like tall and funny guys".

I had sent a message to this girl. She replied but I didn't write anymore because I felt the coldness (She replied but didn't ask me anything).
Now I don't even go and say bon appetit when I see her eating because she wasn't interested and frankly I don't want to follow her around like a tail when she's not interested.

I know it's ridiculous to change for a girl but do you think I should change again in general? My friends around me also say that they miss the old me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I know it's ridiculous to change for a girl but do you think I should change again in general?

Yeah, just do it for your own well-being first and foremost, not to please anyone else. Women included

 

[Barrister]

You shouldn’t change just to pick up women. You should change if it means improving yourself for YOU.

You sound like you aren’t happy with your current outlook on life. Change that. No need to be “boring” or “serious.” You can save that for work but be the fun loving, carefree person you used to be at other times. It’s all a mindset.

Also, stop obsessing over women’s social media. Very rarely does anything happen other than giving the woman free validation. That’s what you did here. Put your focus elsewhere (and that also may help with the overall issue too).

 

[Solomon]

Boring is stable, Boring is logicial, Boring is drama-free

In my youth I always wanted to be where the action was, the hottest parties, hottest girls so forth. Since Covid I have slowed down and embraced a life of mostly solitude. Does this mean I don't go on dates or deal with women? NO I do however I value my energy and time and rather be alone than with a combative woman or uncouth chick in hopes of some box

Once you elevate your standards and yourself you start to realize a lot of people aren't worth the time to be around, women included

 

[Travel memoir21]

It's not about being interesting just as much as being Interested and listening to that other person's story and perspective. People want to be understood and listened to, just ask open ended questions, then paraphrase that with a little bit of your opinion and crack a few jokes once in a while tailored to your personality then you've got something going. But the most important part is building rapport and making that person feel like he or she is being heard and understood.

 

[BPH]

@nelysses I think you would benefit most strongly from getting off this forum and social media for a few months and just focusing on the gym.

Get strong, get healthy, and have something to focus on other than women and their DMs. You'll likely end up more attractive, more confident, and won't feel you have to make all these changes or commit to nofap and meditation or whatever to be able to talk to and seduce women.

Shift your focus to something productive for a while without dependence on the outcome. You have the same problems you came to this forum about and every so often you post asking the same questions while reminding us that nothing has changed.

So go do something different that you don't want to do rather than fishing for the answers you want.

 

[New_Journey]

Once you elevate your standards and yourself you start to realize a lot of people aren't worth the time to be around, women included

This is crazy. I used to go out a lot, have fun and have a lot of friends. Since I started this path I became a cynic, I see masks people wear, I don't gain anything by being around other people other than enjoy for some time, I honestly dislike people around me, I have to pretend I like them, I was not like that. Nobody tells you the path to enlightenment had this side effect. Its like my inner child have grown and it became a sociopath.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

One key I’ve found to avoid being boring as you age, is truly not giving a shvt about what other people think.
You can get away with almost anything.
It’s fun & exhilarating to break rules.

It really helps if you look good & dress well.
People do judge by the cover.

Being a raging narcissist helps. As one of my ex-s told me; ‘Most people are just extra’s in your movie.’
And one of my friends told me: ‘You have the strangest life.’

 

[Solomon]

This is crazy. I used to go out a lot, have fun and have a lot of friends. Since I started this path I became a cynic, I see masks people wear, I don't gain anything by being around other people other than enjoy for some time, I honestly dislike people around me, I have to pretend I like them, I was not like that. Nobody tells you the path to enlightenment had this side effect. Its like my inner child have grown and it became a sociopath.

German Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer talked a lot about this back when he was alive in the 19th century. It's not that you're becoming a sociopath, it's that you understand how a lot of stuff you used to enjoy is just a "performance," a "play" so to speak, with people who have ulterior motives of self-interest and vanity. This is why you can see the "masks" people wear. Doesn't mean everyone is out to get you but you realize a lot of your friendships aren't really friendships per se rooted in virtues like mutual respect and sincerity. Most friendships are based on "What can you do for me?" and "What can I get out of New Journey"

A dose of cynicism is good but don't let it consume you start to view the world in black and white sort of like these Blackpillers

 

[New_Journey]

German Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer

I've been listening to this guy a lot, I like how he talks about women, her true nature, its fvcking fascinating how nature deceives us in love.

 

[Solomon]

I've been listening to this guy a lot, I like how he talks about women, her true nature, its fvcking fascinating how nature deceives us in love.

Yeah Schopenhauer was very redpilled, especially when it came to women and understanding female Nature (he was Rollo before Rollo) at times he was a bit to cynical but it makes sense. One thing I've learned about smart and intelligent people is they hate socializing cause to them it feels fake. I totally understand it now working from home and having my own business etc. You realize most people talk about dumb ****

For example, I use to love watching Football on Sundays, I use to do fantasy league in college etc. Now I can't tell you who the top 10 draft pics in the NFL draft are. I use to know stuff like this now I just don't give a shyt. I have a current plate who is super gung-ho about football and basketball it's cute, but for me I enjoy deeper discussions whether it's about women, life, AI, the future of the world etc. These are not conversations I have with women because most women don't think beyond watching "Love is Blind" ha ha

 

[New_Journey]

for me I enjoy deeper discussions whether it's about women, life, AI, the future of the world etc.

Nice man, we are very similar. We should talk some time about quantum theory, its the future

 

[Manure Spherian]

I've been listening to this guy a lot, I like how he talks about women, her true nature, its fvcking fascinating how nature deceives us in love.

Did you read his essay “On Women”?

If you like that essay, you might like the book Sexual Utopia in Power by Roger Devlin.

 

[Mike32ct]

Maybe it’s due to medical school? You are obviously under a lot of pressure now.

You might have to focus on becoming the cool doctor rather than the life of the party.