I became more mature but also more boring

[nelysses]

Normally I was like a kid who was always laughing and having fun. There were also a lot of girly things like gossiping.

It changed over time, I became more mature. But besides that I feel more boring now. I started to approach everything seriously. I started to be proud of nothing before...
As a result of this I saw that a girl I liked liked a post on Instagram that said "I like tall and funny guys".

I had sent a message to this girl. She replied but I didn't write anymore because I felt the coldness (She replied but didn't ask me anything).
Now I don't even go and say bon appetit when I see her eating because she wasn't interested and frankly I don't want to follow her around like a tail when she's not interested.

I know it's ridiculous to change for a girl but do you think I should change again in general? My friends around me also say that they miss the old me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I know it's ridiculous to change for a girl but do you think I should change again in general?

Yeah, just do it for your own well-being first and foremost, not to please anyone else. Women included

 

[Barrister]

You shouldn’t change just to pick up women. You should change if it means improving yourself for YOU.

You sound like you aren’t happy with your current outlook on life. Change that. No need to be “boring” or “serious.” You can save that for work but be the fun loving, carefree person you used to be at other times. It’s all a mindset.

Also, stop obsessing over women’s social media. Very rarely does anything happen other than giving the woman free validation. That’s what you did here. Put your focus elsewhere (and that also may help with the overall issue too).

 

[Solomon]

Boring is stable, Boring is logicial, Boring is drama-free

In my youth I always wanted to be where the action was, the hottest parties, hottest girls so forth. Since Covid I have slowed down and embraced a life of mostly solitude. Does this mean I don't go on dates or deal with women? NO I do however I value my energy and time and rather be alone than with a combative woman or uncouth chick in hopes of some box

Once you elevate your standards and yourself you start to realize a lot of people aren't worth the time to be around, women included

 

[Travel memoir21]

It's not about being interesting just as much as being Interested and listening to that other person's story and perspective. People want to be understood and listened to, just ask open ended questions, then paraphrase that with a little bit of your opinion and crack a few jokes once in a while tailored to your personality then you've got something going. But the most important part is building rapport and making that person feel like he or she is being heard and understood.

 

[BPH]

@nelysses I think you would benefit most strongly from getting off this forum and social media for a few months and just focusing on the gym.

Get strong, get healthy, and have something to focus on other than women and their DMs. You'll likely end up more attractive, more confident, and won't feel you have to make all these changes or commit to nofap and meditation or whatever to be able to talk to and seduce women.

Shift your focus to something productive for a while without dependence on the outcome. You have the same problems you came to this forum about and every so often you post asking the same questions while reminding us that nothing has changed.

So go do something different that you don't want to do rather than fishing for the answers you want.

 

[New_Journey]

Once you elevate your standards and yourself you start to realize a lot of people aren't worth the time to be around, women included

This is crazy. I used to go out a lot, have fun and have a lot of friends. Since I started this path I became a cynic, I see masks people wear, I don't gain anything by being around other people other than enjoy for some time, I honestly dislike people around me, I have to pretend I like them, I was not like that. Nobody tells you the path to enlightenment had this side effect. Its like my inner child have grown and it became a sociopath.