I attended a speed dating event today

[GoodMan32]

I know I've long said my self-consciousness about my ASD is why I have a crippling phobia of rejection.

I've come to realize there's a deeper explanation. Even if we disregard my ASD, here's the core problem (to explain why I have my crippling phobia of rejection): I have extremely low self-esteem when it comes to my worthiness as a romantic/sex partner.

My self-esteem is about as low as New Orleans's elevation. Even one more rejection could be enough to do a Hurricane Katrina on my self-esteem.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I know I've long said my self-consciousness about my ASD is why I have a crippling phobia of rejection.

I've come to realize there's a deeper explanation. Even if we disregard my ASD, here's the core problem (to explain why I have my crippling phobia of rejection): I have extremely low self-esteem when it comes to my worthiness as a romantic/sex partner.

My self-esteem is about as low as New Orleans's elevation. Even one more rejection could be enough to do a Hurricane Katrina on my self-esteem.

Have you tried to specifically target cougars and not just older women in general?

 

[Solomon]

Another reason not to go, singles running events is where it's been at post-pandemic

 

[GoodMan32]

Have you tried to specifically target cougars and not just older women in general?

Back when I was in college (and Craigslist still had the casual encounters section), I posted some ads specifically seeking out cougars. I bagged some cougars using that method.

As for the last woman I had free sex with, she's a cougar too (13 years my senior). I found out she finds me attractive through a guy we both know. I then started flirting with her.

If there are other ways to specifically target cougars, I'm all ears.

 

[GoodMan32]

On the thread about speed dating that was started a while back (the one @SW15 linked), one of the men (I forget who) said a lot of broads at the speed dating events he's attended worked in accounting.

After thinking on the professions the broads at my event this past weekend mentioned, HR was probably the most common profession.

Explains a lot. The type of broad who's attracted to HR work typically has qualities that repel most men (HR broads tend to be massive feminists and massive misandrists). No wonder they have to resort to speed dating to find a man.

 

[SW15]

The type of broad who's attracted to HR work typically has qualities that repel most men (HR broads tend to be massive feminists and massive misandrists). No wonder they have to resort to speed dating to find a man.

Holy smokes. I can't imagine an extended romantic relationship with a woman who works HR. Massive feminist + misandrist is a bad combination.

a lot of broads at the speed dating events he's attended worked in accounting.

Many of the women who work in accounting have dull personalities.

 

[The Duke]

So I came out of my shell and went to a speed dating event. I just got home.

The event went well...until it didn't.

The good: The event was set up so that the broads had to give all of us a 5 minute mini date. As a result, I got to speak to more broads than I would have if I attempted to pick up broads in a non-structured environment.

Then here's when it started to go poorly: In the final 10 minutes, the event switched to an open floor environment (where anyone could mingle with anyone of their choosing).

At the very beginning of the open floor environment, I managed to catch a broad I thought it went well with...yet the broad declined on exchanging contact information.

The only other broad who was available to talk to at that point was the obese chick I had my first mini date with. I went over to her, asked if she liked the event, etc (but never asked for her digits). I wasn't super into the obese chick (so it's not like I was dying to get her digits...and I wasn't going to ask). But I thought she might offer on her own. No such luck.

There were a few other broads I probably could have gotten digits from...but they were already being swarmed by other men.

Am I glad I went? Yeah. But at the same time, the ending of the event reminded me of why I don't even really try.

Facing the unfortunate truth that I was the low man on the food chain once again, I left before the final 10 minutes were up. I exited onto the patio (slamming the door on my way out). I then slammed the patio gate when I left the patio.

You need to control your emotions better. Slamming doors/gates because you talked to two girls and didnt get what you wanted is childish. You gotta have thicker skin. No woman is attracted to men who act like that.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Back when I was in college (and Craigslist still had the casual encounters section), I posted some ads specifically seeking out cougars. I bagged some cougars using that method.

As for the last woman I had free sex with, she's a cougar too (13 years my senior). I found out she finds me attractive through a guy we both know. I then started flirting with her.

If there are other ways to specifically target cougars, I'm all ears.

Match.com has a good selection of milfs, especially here in Phx/Scottsdale. Look for the ones with a sexy vibe and showing off their boobs/showing hard nips

You might want to go get an escort to blow off some steam if you're slamming doors at venues.

 

[GoodMan32]

Holy smokes. I can't imagine an extended romantic relationship with a woman who works HR. Massive feminist + misandrist is a bad combination.



Many of the women who work in accounting have dull personalities.

Yeah. Not saying 100% of broads in HR are toxic. But more likely than not, she's toxic.

After all, HR broads are largely the reason even the mildest flirting in the workplace can destroy a man's career.

That being said, there was one HR broad at the speed dating event who appeared to be a good fit for me. What a shame a lion had already pounced on her before I had a chance to in the open floor phase.

 

[SW15]

That being said, there was one HR broad at the speed dating event who appeared to be a good fit for me. What a shame a lion had already pounced on her before I had a chance to in the open floor phase.

Did you ever fill out a virtual card online after the event or hand in a paper card at the end of the event? All the speed dating events I went to in the past didn't involve exchanging contact info in an open floor phase. You got your matches and contact info 24-48 hours after the events.

 

[GoodMan32]

Did you ever fill out a virtual card online after the event or hand in a paper card at the end of the event? All the speed dating events I went to in the past didn't involve exchanging contact info in an open floor phase. You got your matches and contact info 24-48 hours after the events.

Other than having to register my name, email, and number while signing up for the app (the app for the company that hosted the event), there wasn't any sort of card I filled out (either online or in person) like you're describing.

Once the open floor session started, the host said "You can exchange contact information. But you can also say no."

Come to think of it, I like what you're describing better. That way you don't run into the problem of "What if a broad I might have had a chance with was already getting chatted up by another guy in the open floor phase"

 

[SW15]

Other than having to register my name, email, and number while signing up for the app (the app for the company that hosted the event), there wasn't any sort of card I filled out (either online or in person) like you're describing.

Once the open floor session started, the host said "You can exchange contact information. But you can also say no."

Come to think of it, I like what you're describing better. That way you don't run into the problem of "What if a broad I might have had a chance with was already getting chatted up by another guy in the open floor phase"

I have never heard of a speed dating event with the format you describe. Every speed dating event that I went to had some sort of virtual or paper card. It has also been many years since I attended a speed dating event.

Never again. They are complete crap. The single women I want to interact with aren't going to go to speed dating events. They are not going to go to structured singles events either.

 

[GoodMan32]

I have never heard of a speed dating event with the format you describe. Every speed dating event that I went to had some sort of virtual or paper card. It has also been many years since I attended a speed dating event.

Never again. They are complete crap. The single women I want to interact with aren't going to go to speed dating events. They are not going to go to structured singles events either.

Since I've only had free sex once in the past 9 years, I'm willing to set the bar pretty low. That's why I gave the speed dating event a try. I'd be down to attend another one.

A singles mixer, I'd be more reluctant to attend. One benefit of a speed dating event for a guy like me: The fact a woman who otherwise might blow me off on an initial approach is forced to do a speed date with me (and there's always the chance she'll take a liking to me after our 5 minute speed date)

 

[SW15]

The fact a woman who otherwise might blow me off on an initial approach is forced to do a speed date with me (and there's always the chance she'll take a liking to me after our 5 minute speed date)

Many men think that forced interaction will help them but it usually doesn't. It just annoys the women that they have to interact with someone they wouldn't freely choose to interact with at a regular bar or in a daygame type setting.

 

[corrector]

Many men think that forced interaction will help them but it usually doesn't. It just annoys the women that they have to interact with someone they wouldn't freely choose to interact with at a regular bar or in a daygame type setting.

That is very negative. Now if you have to worry about annoying a woman in an event she signed up for as well, then it sounds that its better to do nothing.

 

[GoodMan32]

That is very negative. Now if you have to worry about annoying a woman in an event she signed up for as well, then it sounds that its better to do nothing.

Nah, she signed up for the event. If she doesn't like talking to me, she shouldn't have volunteered to attend.

 

[GoodMan32]

I made a psychological breakthrough this morning. Pretty sure I solved the question of "If everyone at the speed dating event appeared to be too young (in the sense that I'd likely chicken out if offered sex, for fertility reasons), why did I want numbers from various broads at the event?"

Here's what I suspect the answer is. Deep down, I'm hoping the following scenario happens with a fertile-age broad: I get an actual date, we go home together, we end up naked in bed (the woman begging me for sex), and I turn down the sex.

Why would I subconsciously want that scenario to happen? Power. After all these years of young broads treating me poorly/ignoring me, I'd like to finally get the upper hand (in the sense that I'd be the one denying her sex)

 

[GoodMan32]

So my dating/hookup business cards arrived today.

Long story short, I'm going to need to redo the cards (They printed out way too big. I wanted business card size. My fault for not paying more attention to the dimensions when placing the order)

Here's where the story gets juicy: It just so happens I ran into my next door neighbor when picking up my cards. I asked for her honest opinion (and assured her I can handle the truth)

Here's what she recommended:

• Use a different picture. She said (verbatim) "Your picture looks like a mugshot. Not inviting at all. You look better in person."
• She also recommended I remove my year of birth entirely.

Her logic for removing the birth year:

1. When it comes to assessing interest in a man at first glance, his looks matter more than his age.

2. She went on to say something along the lines of "For you especially, being into older women, having your birth year on the card could hold you back. An older woman might immediately write you off as too young if she sees your birth year right off the bat. On the other hand, if an older woman takes a liking to your looks and inner qualities, and then finds out your age, she'd be more willing to give you a chance than if she knew right away you're a 90s baby"

 

[BaronOfHair]

So my dating/hookup business cards arrived today.

Long story short, I'm going to need to redo the cards (They printed out way too big. I wanted business card size. My fault for not paying more attention to the dimensions when placing the order)

Here's where the story gets juicy: It just so happens I ran into my next door neighbor when picking up my cards. I asked for her honest opinion (and assured her I can handle the truth)

Here's what she recommended:

• Use a different picture. She said (verbatim) "Your picture looks like a mugshot. Not inviting at all. You look better in person."
• She also recommended I remove my year of birth entirely.

Her logic for removing the birth year:

1. When it comes to assessing interest in a man at first glance, his looks matter more than his age.

2. She went on to say something along the lines of "For you especially, being into older women, having your birth year on the card could hold you back. An older woman might immediately write you off as too young if she sees your birth year right off the bat. On the other hand, if an older woman takes a liking to your looks and inner qualities, and then finds out your age, she'd be more willing to give you a chance than if she knew right away you're a 90s baby"

For your sake, I pray that you're more receptive to her counsel than you have been to ours, GM

 

[Clockwerk50]

So my dating/hookup business cards arrived today.

Long story short, I'm going to need to redo the cards (They printed out way too big. I wanted business card size. My fault for not paying more attention to the dimensions when placing the order)

Here's where the story gets juicy: It just so happens I ran into my next door neighbor when picking up my cards. I asked for her honest opinion (and assured her I can handle the truth)

Here's what she recommended:

• Use a different picture. She said (verbatim) "Your picture looks like a mugshot. Not inviting at all. You look better in person."
• She also recommended I remove my year of birth entirely.

Her logic for removing the birth year:

1. When it comes to assessing interest in a man at first glance, his looks matter more than his age.

2. She went on to say something along the lines of "For you especially, being into older women, having your birth year on the card could hold you back. An older woman might immediately write you off as too young if she sees your birth year right off the bat. On the other hand, if an older woman takes a liking to your looks and inner qualities, and then finds out your age, she'd be more willing to give you a chance than if she knew right away you're a 90s baby"

Ok.