I AM SO PATHETIC! Please help me.

[ZeQ]

Hey guys, I am so frustrated right now. I have been so focus on my studies for the past few years, that I completely neglicted girls. The outcome? I get into cycles of crushes, depression, and desperation. Of course, no matter how much you would like to focus on other things in life, girls come to haunt you with problems. It's pittiful.

Right now, I just wanted to get back in the swing of things ... the aftermath? I got one number from a girl with a boyfriend, and another one is not even giving me the time of day. Now? I have no prospects. How can I next a girl if I have nothing to next too???

I'm sick of readings the bible and all those articles. I have read them so much that I can tell the next word to each of the ones I'm reading.

Guys, I don't know what to do. I am in no mental state to do cold pick ups. I have slumped so low that I am not only desperate, I am overly needy. I think even my friends are getting repulsed by how much I need social attention.

What the FUKK do I DO???

I can't read the fukkin bible, it can't help me anymore.

I have been here for how long??? And I am such a fukking AFC. I'm sick and tired of depression, I'm sick and tired of desperation. Most of the other areas of my life are fine, but these pu$$y problems are getting to me. They are starting to own me. It's pathetic. It's so bad that it is starting to affect other areas of my life. I can't focus on any hobbies because I don't have any motivation, no inspiration, no nothing. I can't sleep at night!

 

[DJ Hawtness]

I'll be honest, when I first read this entire post, I laughed like crazy.

You seriously ARE pathetic. It's been stated a dozen times that you need to do the cold approaches in order to become a DJ, etc.

You won't go anywhere in life if all you do is read these articles, etc.

Reading them is not enough, PERIOD. =\

These are hints, suggestions, and advice on how to do macking.

You CAN CHANGE. You need to build what is called confidence. Stop being afraid, and if you have to get horny before you talk to a girl.

Anything, is better than fear, and being in a sexual state is MUCH better than "hitting the steering wheel."

Your life is going downhill because you're such a wimp that you won't even talk to a freaking girl.

You are A GUY, don't be afraid to express what you want.

Your life will continue to get worse if you don't take advantage of what is in front of you. Surround yourself with friends that ARE MEN, and that want girls (not "nice guys" and "jerks").

You my friend, are not even in the "nice guy" category, but it's ok.

Start building confidence by:

1.) Getting a good night's rest
2.) Stretch in the morning (breathing techniques, yoga, etc.)
3.) Look at yourself in the mirror and know that you're sexy. You don't have to say it because it's quite obvious that you are.
4.) Fix your appearance up (i.e. if you have glasses, get contacts, get better shoes, dress shirts, better pants that's NOT tight, take 2 showers everyday)
5.) Simply smile at everyone you see (show ALL YOUR TEETH, and make it count, don't give a fake smile, even other guys can see through this)
6.) Hug your parents in the morning, and let them know that you love them (I know this is corny, but this helps you so much more especially since girls like men that respect their mothers)
7.) Learn to be sociable
8.) Review all the important articles on this site (it's quite obvious you didn't get the CLEAR message that each offers to broaden our days)
9.) Here comes the hard part: Hold your balls, take a deep breath, and talk to that hawt chick that you've wanted so badly
10.) Don't be angry, depressed, etc., if you get rejected, I'm pretty sure every guy has. =/

 

[Maybnoob]

:trouble: Well your at that stage in life when one starts to evaluate themselves and look for gaps. You have spent most of your life concentrating on education and getting a good (although theres nothing worng with that, your parents must be proud).:cheer: But you have neglected the truly important things in life and that is fun, experimentation (not drugs but certain pleasures in life) and certain parts of society. You my friend is educated in books, but you are a child in life.
But before i go i need tell you that you are looking for something and i want you to remember that women arent all to life thers are other things, mayb consider religion (Im a christian myself).
What is worng with you is that your a social noob. You have read the articles but you dont really understand them. How can you read and understand a article on women if you dont know the basics of women. You need to get back on that playground and start form the beginning cos you seem lost I suggest you get some good manly friends and watch and understand them, and increase your contact with women even it is your sister or a cousin, you need to see women performing(not in a sexual way thats just nasty).
After that come back and read the dj book again and trust me you will understand it better as you will be able to identify with the situations it trys to combat. Then understand the articles and guess what Put it into practice. Thers no point just reading it if you arent going to use it.
I also recommend you remember what it was like to be seven. I bet you if you remember that feeling of freedom and carelessness, that will cure your depression. Think like a child and you will realise that you have been so stupid, and that you have not enjoyed life. Imagine a conversation with your young self, would he not be disappointed in the way you are acting.
Do all those things and then you will truly begin to learn.


Oh yeah i recommend reading pooks 15 lessons and his other posts, they will help you.
PEACE and god bless

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by ZeQ
I have been here for how long??? And I am such a fukking AFC. I'm sick and tired of depression, I'm sick and tired of desperation. Most of the other areas of my life are fine, but these pu$$y problems are getting to me. They are starting to own me. It's pathetic. It's so bad that it is starting to affect other areas of my life. I can't focus on any hobbies because I don't have any motivation, no inspiration, no nothing. I can't sleep at night!

What is it that you want from girls? Is it attention? Sex? Affection? Cause the answer has to be something really profound and important in order for you to be so depressed over it even though other areas of your life are fine. Also, a different answer will have a different solution. However, with most personal issues, it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to face your demons, look them in the eyes and make friends with them.

 

[xiola]

some people are just destinied to be alone

 

[Robbie]

ZeQ, welcome to the club.

There are a lot of guys here in a slump so to speak and no magic bullet solution.

here's a great article by David DeAngelo that I just finished reading:

http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/art61.htm

I'm not an over the top fan of his, but every once in a while he writes something and it's dead - on.

No article or bible or players guide or pickup guide or basic home study course is going to be the solution to your problem. You have to first identify exactly what are holding you back from reaching your goal (presumably that's dating women or being able to approach women and in some capacity close).

If you're getting depressed, then clean diet and exercise will help you a thousand times more than anything else. Put away the refined and processed foods, eat your veggies, and down some fishoil. Bust your ass at the gym and your depression will diminish.

If you have a lack of motivation or anxiety or just a lack of skill, the solution is probably going to be more proactive than a lot of "read the bible" advocates appreciate. The more social you are in general, the more accessible you will be to women. Lets say one out of fifty women would jump you if they locked the two of you in a room together. You're not going to meet her if you're just saying hi to three or fewer women a day. You have some heavy time constraints, but when you get a chance, go out! Just remember that part of this, at least part of this, is a numbers game.

Good luck. No magic advice. Keep working on it from a variety of angles. Just whatever you do, get out there and force yourself out of the comfort zone.

 

[Delta Male]

I would agree with most of the guys in the thread, who are basically telling you that you have to take more action to improve your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and go out and do it.

One thing which really helped me improve my skills with women was meeting up with guys in my area who had some serious game. I met these guys through the Boston Lair, a group of guys who go out and do cold approaches regularly. If you'd like more info on meeting guys in the community in Lairs and such, PM me.

-Dan

 

[Jin]

i think i'm the only one here giving the simple advice...

it comes down to this... the harder you try... they faster they run...

STOP CHASING GIRLS!!! you don't need them in your life...

I'm going to give you simple and easy to follow advice that will let you take a nice deep breath of relief...

do something you love.... thats it... its that simple...

whatever it is... ride your bike everyday... go rock climbing... build a tree house.... read a book...

whatever you do... do it for YOU, because thats what YOU like to do and it makes you happy...


and thats half the battle... chicks want to be around a guy who is happy doing his own thing...

so forget about chicks and do your own thing... and you know what...?

the chicks will actually start coming to you!

Best,

Jin

 

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Jin
i think i'm the only one here giving the simple advice...

it comes down to this... the harder you try... they faster they run...

STOP CHASING GIRLS!!! you don't need them in your life...

I'm going to give you simple and easy to follow advice that will let you take a nice deep breath of relief...

do something you love.... thats it... its that simple...

whatever it is... ride your bike everyday... go rock climbing... build a tree house.... read a book...

whatever you do... do it for YOU, because thats what YOU like to do and it makes you happy...


and thats half the battle... chicks want to be around a guy who is happy doing his own thing...

so forget about chicks and do your own thing... and you know what...?

the chicks will actually start coming to you!

Best,

Jin

That's B.S.

I've done my own thing for quite some time now, but women never come to me.

And ZeQ, the minute you realize that in the grand scheme of things, you don't need a woman, things will seem better.

You aren't less of a man when you don't have a woman.

Also, is there any real point in making women such a high priority? Look at the big picture: You don't need a woman.

I'd probably forget about women if I were you. I've forgotten about them, and my life seems a lot easier.

Ben

 

[backbreaker]

actually, you are lying.


You said, you were concentrating on your studies so you didn't worry about women.

Then you said " I get into cycles of crushes, depression, and desperation. Of course, no matter how much you would like to focus on other things in life, girls come to haunt you with problems. It's pittiful."

So which is it... If you want my honest opinion, the school work was an excuse for you not to get off of your ass and change, and some girl, that you really, really wanted just forced you to come to this board.

Nothing to be ashamed of at all, to be honest, a girl brought me to this board (who, because of the knowlege I got here, woudn't date her if she were the last women on earth.....okay not that far out, but you get my point).

I think you need to be honest with yourself before you can expect to change.

 

[Mr.Style]

Originally posted by ZeQ

I'm sick of readings the bible and all those articles. I have read them so much that I can tell the next word to each of the ones I'm reading.

Guys, I don't know what to do. I am in no mental state to do cold pick ups. I have slumped so low that I am not only desperate, I am overly needy. I think even my friends are getting repulsed by how much I need social attention.

What the FUKK do I DO???

I can't read the fukkin bible, it can't help me anymore.

I have been here for how long??? And I am such a fukking AFC. I'm sick and tired of depression, I'm sick and tired of desperation. Most of the other areas of my life are fine, but these pu$$y problems are getting to me. They are starting to own me. It's pathetic. It's so bad that it is starting to affect other areas of my life. I can't focus on any hobbies because I don't have any motivation, no inspiration, no nothing. I can't sleep at night!

OK, lots of guys on this thread have been pretty harsh. I can actually relate to what you're saying though. The fact is, while there is plenty of insightful stuff on this site that is quite inspirational, many people find when push comes to shove, they retreat back into themselves. I believe that confidence comes from strength of character and from a complete and absolute belief in yourself. ZeQ, if you are sick and depressed at your life then you need to take the steps necessary to get yourself out of your rut. Forget about girls liking you if you don't even like yourself.

I know you have seen the 'Discomfort Zone' journal that I have been applying for myself. Perhaps it would help if you tried one too? All you have to do is figure out what your comfort zone is and seek to get out of it by taking away the things that give you comfort. If you're sitting at home watching TV all day, deprive yourself of TV and read more. If you're not socialising with people, try striking up a conversation with a stranger whether it's at a bus stop or in a shop while your buying something, whatever.
Practice things that you find uncomfortable and over time you'll find within yourself a resolve and a strength of character. Then confidence will naturally follow as you'll feel respect and appreciation for who you are as a person.

If you are not mentally strong to do pick-ups, then make yourself mentally strong. Best of luck.

 

[thebsharp]

I have been in the exact situation are you are dude so i can definally understand. Let me tell you the truth, 90% of what in the DJbible are useless. Tricks, gimicks and phrase "think and you shall become" is a bunch of balony. Confidence isn't something you can just switch on and off, you can read all the ariticle to boost you're confince all you want but what happen when you look in the mirror? everything just come crashing down!

This is what happen to me, when i first started reading the DJbible, i had so much motivation and *false confidence* that i can go out and pick up girls but after awhile the bible can't help me anymore because the "newness" of the bible is gone and now am back to where I started.

What am I doing to fix this problem? easy... if you want hot girls, you have to make you're self hot and if you are hot, girls will be easier to attract then comes the confidence. Rightnow am on the Anthony Ellis, am hoping to gain a good 30 pound of lbm, am also letting my hair grow out so I can style it up. Hittting the gym is the best you can do for you're self, not just getting the girls but you're whole life.

 

[ZeQ]

Originally posted by backbreaker
actually, you are lying.


You said, you were concentrating on your studies so you didn't worry about women.

Then you said " I get into cycles of crushes, depression, and desperation. Of course, no matter how much you would like to focus on other things in life, girls come to haunt you with problems. It's pittiful."

So which is it... If you want my honest opinion, the school work was an excuse for you not to get off of your ass and change, and some girl, that you really, really wanted just forced you to come to this board.

Nothing to be ashamed of at all, to be honest, a girl brought me to this board (who, because of the knowlege I got here, woudn't date her if she were the last women on earth.....okay not that far out, but you get my point).

I think you need to be honest with yourself before you can expect to change.

Buddy, if you don't know somebody, refrain from pointing fingers at others. I am not lying. I went through cycle of depression and crushes BECAUSE I spent more time in my studies. Thus, I didn't have time to deal with multiple girls, ask alot of numbers, go on a lot of dates, hence repeatitive oneitis. I have had like one to two oneitis a year now for the past 3 years. That's what I'm sick of...

Originally posted by JonJack
What is it that you want from girls? Is it attention? Sex? Affection? Cause the answer has to be something really profound and important in order for you to be so depressed over it even though other areas of your life are fine. Also, a different answer will have a different solution. However, with most personal issues, it's just a matter of whether or not you're willing to face your demons, look them in the eyes and make friends with them.

I want all of that, my hormones are screaming sex all over the place, but I think solely having sex wouldn't be enough for me. I would need the attention too. Affection is probably the lesser of the three.

Originally posted by Abbott
That's B.S.

I've done my own thing for quite some time now, but women never come to me.

And ZeQ, the minute you realize that in the grand scheme of things, you don't need a woman, things will seem better.

You aren't less of a man when you don't have a woman.

Also, is there any real point in making women such a high priority? Look at the big picture: You don't need a woman.

I'd probably forget about women if I were you. I've forgotten about them, and my life seems a lot easier.

Ben

Exactly, I HAVE been focusing in my studies and other areas in my life as of late (ie: work), women are like anything else in life. You have to work on it too.

Look guys, I know all that crap about how women should only be the icing on the cake, but let's be honest. I'm 21, I have hormones infecting my body, I have had like less than 5 dates in 3 years, and I haven't had sex in over 2 years.

I can't forget about them. I have tried that, eventually, I have needs, I need sex, I need attention, etc. That's why I eventually always seem to fall into depression and desperation because of oneitis.

I just don't think I'm strong enough right now to be doing cold pick ups. What's the point of CPU if you can't even say something after you say Hi and asked for her name? Really, what's the point??? If it happens once or twice and the next time it gets better, sure. But I'm just so desperate and pathetic, EVERY SINGLE TIME IS A SHOT DOWN. I can only take so much, I am already depressed. Getting shot down constantly is the last thing I need. I have a certain treshold for rejection, and when you have low self-confidence, it is not by getting shot down even more that you improve it.

I'm just so sick of this stuff

 

[ZeQ]

Robbie, Mr Style, bsharp and Hawtness, thanks. You are the ones that has been the most helpful.

I think some of you don't understand. Like I mentionned before, I am not doing so bad in all the other areas of my life. For instance, I currently have a 4.0 GPA in my 2nd year of university, I have a pretty good circle of friends. I am actually more or less content with my social life. It is just that right now, these girls BS are getting to me, they are starting to own me, and it is STARTING to affect other areas of my life. My friends seem to be distancing from me, I am just starting to see a patern.

That's why I want to deal with this. All these girls BS is starting to own me, that's what's pathetic. Especially since it is starting to tear down other areas of my life. It's not easy to study on a friday night thinking about a damn oneitis, or coming to class on monday thinking about how your whole weekend has been sexless or dateless, and the weekend before that was the same, and before that too, and for the past 47 weeks as well.

Eventually, I think anyways, since I can't get girls, I'm starting to cling on my friends more, always wanna do stuff with them, always wanna chill, etc. So that drives them away and stuff.

You guys know what I mean?

 

[Jin]

arrggh....


you guys aren't gettng my point...

stop chasing chicks and doing your own thing DOESN'T mean that you start concentrating on WORK and other crap that makes you DEPRESSED...

do something that you LOVE... not WORK.... you have to find something that makes you happy that doesn't invlove chicks OR going to work OR your studies... because its obvious none of these things make you happy....

so its simple... find something that you enjoy doing... and do it..

Best,

Kaz

 

[penguin]

Originally posted by Jin
arrggh....


you guys aren't gettng my point...

stop chasing chicks and doing your own thing DOESN'T mean that you start concentrating on WORK and other crap that makes you DEPRESSED...

do something that you LOVE... not WORK.... you have to find something that makes you happy that doesn't invlove chicks OR going to work OR your studies... because its obvious none of these things make you happy....

so its simple... find something that you enjoy doing... and do it..

Best,

Kaz

I agree with this. I know all about it because i'm on the opposite side of what he's encouraging.

Be happy. Do things that make you happy. Do something to relax you. Just something positive that will brighten you up. Don't be like me, so sick of constantly studying and crap. It's a friday night here (well, no, it's 1am saturday now).... know what I did ALL night? Worked on an assignment. Which is what I will be doing all day saturday and sunday. And I will repeat the process next week. And the next week. And so on.

You know the saying "All work and no play makes jack a dull boy" (or something like that), it's true. I've lost all enthusiasm for life and i'm only 18. I do nothing that i truley enjoy, nothing that makes me happy. The last time I had a night out and had fun was probably half way through 2004. To me, life is just about getting through each day and creeping closer and closer to the end. Whoopdie-do.

Now I say all this because it may assist you in identifying any red flags. If you can identify with this kind of mentality, then take the above advice and do something that makes you happy. Don't go down this other path.

I now realise I have kind of strayed from the point here and rambled on. The point is: do things that you enjoy, and it will brighten you up. It will not only take the focus/seriousness of your women troubles, but it will show through to others and make you more attractive for it.

That was longer than I anticipated, but my $0.02. No I will not be refunding you the time it took to read all that, my apologies

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Whats up man.

Listen, I had been having the same inner issues that you are having. I was feeling like I was hopeless, that my life would never change, and that I probably would die without getting some good quality *****. But........if you want to hear the truth...read on...

IT IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!!!

It looks like you are an AFC, but you are not.
It looks like you dont have women that are attracted to you, but that is not true.
It looks like the future of your personal love life is hopeless, but that is not true.

But the truth is, is that you have other IMPORTANT things going on in your life. You are trying to build your future.

Trust me, if you have read the DJ Bible, and you know all the techiques and WHAT IT REALLY MEANS to be a Don Juan, then you are in good shape.

Relax, you are fine. You are NOT an AFC. An AFC, is a man who DOES NOT know the Don Juan Bible. You know it, right now, you just got other important things going on. Trust me, you are a don juan. Now when you go out today, relax, sit back. And if you see a girl you like, approach her and have a good time.

We dont run out of women, but WE DO, run out of life.

 

[Double]

ok first off you are absolutely right about you needing some success with girls. DONT LISTEN TO THE ****ING YOU DONT NEED WOMEN BULL****!! the human body is designed to reproduce and will give you pain if you fight nature. yes, you do _not_ need the love&relationship thing.....but of course you have a very strong and unfulfilled desire if you're not getting any.


but to come to my advice......

that you havent answered the question if you have started working out tells me a lot about you. you arent stupid so do you wanna fool me?you know the dj bible word for word but STILL you havent applied ****!!what is your social circle like?? lotsa nerds that dont like you but have no other friends? COME ON AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HELP YOU. IT IS SURELY NOT EVERYTHING GOOD IN YOUR LIFE EXCEPT THE WOMEN SITUATION.

IF YOU ONLY KNOW THE THEORY BUT ARENT GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MASCULINE NATURE THROUGH EXERCIZING THEN YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING.

one more thing

i do know that it ain't possible to do big changes and at the same time have to learn A LOT and do a parttime job. so you have to decide what is more important for you, becomming a happy DJ or a rich AFC. you can't have everything in life so pick what is the most important for you.

 

[frivolousz21]

if you actually go out and do ur own thing you still wont get laid.

you wont get a women

you wont have them chasing after you

you wont get over ur fear of approaching them.

you should make a goal of bettering your game..if you dont start cold approaching, working out, posture, clothes, speech, work on it all. make it a goal for you to get better at talking to women..

dont go out and do whatever..do whatever and get the women.

 

[ZeQ]

Originally posted by Double
ok first off you are absolutely right about you needing some success with girls. DONT LISTEN TO THE ****ING YOU DONT NEED WOMEN BULL****!! the human body is designed to reproduce and will give you pain if you fight nature. yes, you do _not_ need the love&relationship thing.....but of course you have a very strong and unfulfilled desire if you're not getting any.


but to come to my advice......

that you havent answered the question if you have started working out tells me a lot about you. you arent stupid so do you wanna fool me?you know the dj bible word for word but STILL you havent applied ****!!what is your social circle like?? lotsa nerds that dont like you but have no other friends? COME ON AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HELP YOU. IT IS SURELY NOT EVERYTHING GOOD IN YOUR LIFE EXCEPT THE WOMEN SITUATION.

IF YOU ONLY KNOW THE THEORY BUT ARENT GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MASCULINE NATURE THROUGH EXERCIZING THEN YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING.

one more thing

i do know that it ain't possible to do big changes and at the same time have to learn A LOT and do a parttime job. so you have to decide what is more important for you, becomming a happy DJ or a rich AFC. you can't have everything in life so pick what is the most important for you.

I used to be a personal trainer actually, I have been working out for the past 4 years. Although I do admit I have been slacking off for the past year, especially because of school. This past year, I have been working out an avg of 2-3 weeks every 2 months Go figure, I have a little more time on my hands now - so I want to get serious about working out again.

My friends? I have all types of friends, I'd say my closest friends are half half. half of them are either getting dates left and right or they are getting laid every week with non-relationship girls, and the other half are virgins. I do spend more time with the first half because we go to the same school and all live closer to each other, but I'm closer with the other half.

I'm not lying to you, pretty much every other dimensions in my life, are either great, or I am content with it.


and about that being a rich AFC, buddy - real life isn't like that. You need to work to survive. I dont' live at my parents, so I got bills to pay. And without money, you can't do much with girls. Its possible, but just so much harder for no reason. Survival is much more important than pu$$y. I have to pay my own tuition, my books, my living expensive, my rent, etc.

Thanks guys, I def need to get more positive, doing what I love might help ... but its so hard. I am quite artistic, so drawing, painting is what I love, but I can't do any of that when I am depressed about girls because I have no motivation, I'm just not in the mood to be creative/artistic. Other things I like to do is skateboard, but it's been constantly raining these 2 weeks, we had like 3 days of sun - and trust me, I skated all day, but I can't skate in the rain and there aren't any skate parks in my city.



Thanks alot guys, its starting to cheer me up, but I only feel like I'm 1/5 way through. At least I don't feel as low, but I still need to maintain this AND get some got damn dates.