I am absolutely fed up with sh!t tests

johnnyrem

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Guys, for years I dated women that my friends would give me a hard time about, most especially my women friends. They'd say, "You're a good looking guy-why are your girlfriends so plain looking?" I've got the "f**k me eyes" from women before, plenty of times. Some I followed up on, some I didn't. Sorta confirmation that my lady friends weren't just saying something to pump up my ego.

Trouble is, with the better looking chicks, the disrespect and sh!t tests start very, very early. In fact, that's all I've been getting since I started going after women that were truly attractive to me. Case in point:

Most recent one was an attractive Ph.d student I took out a few times. Early on, she let it be known that she always wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift vehicle. (The truck I took her out on a date with was a stick). I took that as a request, and gave her a lesson, accompanied by much giggling on her part as she continually messed up. She was clearly having fun. After that she seemed pretty enthusiastic. The next date I offered her the key, suggesting she might give it a try. "Later on tonight" was her reply.

Near the end of the date, I pulled into an empty lot and said, "Wanna give it a go?" Her response was, "Gawd! How many times are you gonna ask me? You're like drive my truck now or something!" This was said in a really pissy tone.

What could I say? I was only responding to her earlier request. That pretty much killed the tone for the rest of the evening. Needless to say, that ruined it. I could go on with similar experiences with other women.

When confronted with this sort of behavior, the only thing I can see to do is not ask for another date. She would not cut me any slack if I behaved in such a manner; why should I give her any slack because she is a woman? I'm not a believer in bad behavior in the first few dates-I would think you ought to be on your best behavior in that situation.

Unfortunately, I get this all the time with the good looking chicks. There's not much you can do to salvage the situation when she feels free to be a ***** for no good reason. Major disrespect.

I associate this *****y behavior with low IL, and it is discouraging how often it happens, even with attractive girls (7's-8's) that really aren't out of my league.

I've read the Bible, but the only defense seem to be to walk away. Which I'm doing, but the better looking the chick, the more likely it is she'll behave this way. 8-9's show it sooner than 7's, but they all must think so much of themselves that they figure it's necessary to be a *****y, pissy pain in the ass within the first two or three dates.

Could use some tips for hooking up with girls I'm truly attracted to, I guess. How do you guys get past the sh!t and b*tch wall? Or do you bother?I'm fed up with the disrespect. I'm sliding back to the notion of asking the plain girls out for dates again, since at least they try to act civil. Which isn't really very satisfying either, because I try to force attraction for them that isn't there.

Perhaps I can only get them when I finally find a chick that doesn't do the sh!t test with me at all. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long search.
 

snintel

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As far as stick shift girl.. I would say you messed up by latching on to one successful thing you shared and constantly trying to recycle it. You guys had fun doing it earlier, don't try and milk it again later. It gets boring, you have to be unpredictable and spontaneous.
 

HuuBinh

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-johnnyrem-

In order to dramatically REDUCE sh!t tests by any woman, you have to create the FRAME early in the interaction. You want to have the frame , "I have chosen you and I will not tolerate any disrespect from you or else I will walk away."

When a woman tries to test you, she is essentially having DOUBTS about how much of man you really are. Therefore, you have to set that frame early on so that there will not be any uncertainty because she can feel your alphaness from the interaction, body language etc...Your inner frame will influence your outer game.

Women will follow the frame you set for them. If you set the frame that you are the prize, you've chosen her, and will not take disrespect, she will behave.
 

joekerr31

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haha.

so basically what you're asking for is a super hot chic who probably gets hit on all the time and has since she was a teenager and whose ego is probably just short of tom cruise arrogance levels.... and you want her to act rationally and maturely?

give me a call, i've got some land i want to sell you.

in my opinion these chics are pulling a hissy fit to test you. they want to see if they can bust your balls and youll kiss their ass like most men.

a lot of super hot chics are nasty inside. they have next to no empathy towards other people and like to be mean when they can just because it makes them feel good. the only way they know how to interact with me is to pull drama queen bull****. i've been there, done that, not for me anymore.

as per your incident with the chic in the truck. you should have said 'i've got a surprise for you because you are so beautiful. you're going ot love it."

when she gets curious, ask her to step out of the truck and ask her to cover her eyes. then say 'one sec, its in the glove compartment'

then get back in the truck and take off.
=)

she'll think twice about pulling that kind of attitude with some guy in the future.

J
 

johnnyrem

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Yeah, could be I recycled it too much. Maybe my problem is trying to redo things that she enjoyed, but hey, sue me. It's tough to find things chicks like, and my time with the good looking ones hasn't been that frequent. I'll know better next time.

It is a lot to ask for a chick to behave normally, or at least somewhat civilly. I can be civil, but I suppose it is too much to ask for them to do so if they're used to having their butt kissed so much.

Trouble is, I don't want their behavior to make me chase less attractive chicks-I want someone attractive to me as well.

It sucks pursuing women that think they are God's gift, but what else am I gonna do? I gotta stake my claim sometime. It's just very, very disproportionately tough to get more attractive chicks, and this even applies to ones I think I should be getting more easily (no looks disparity).

Enough *****ing, I suppose. Time to get back out there and take some more lumps.

If only God made sheep better looking.
 
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From on Johnny to another, I don't know very much, but I _do_ know about this. It's pure Darwin, my friend. Beautiful women behave horribly because they can. They don't develop anything else besides their looks because they don't need to. Why would a fish grow wings? What use does a snake have for fins?

I'm with you 100%--I prefer plainer women who are sweeter. I don't want my relationships w/women to be a never-ending battle of wills. Don't let your female acquaintences influence you: THEY don't have to be happy w/your girlfriend, YOU do. I have dated extremely beautiful women (not often, but a few times) & never made it past date #2 without thinking to myself, "Johnny old boy, this $h1t has got to stop."
 

jprjrjr

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As the other posters have told you, don't take their shyt. It doesn't always work, but you'll have a lot better chance of keeping a nice looking chick if you put your foot down early.

They're not "testing your manhood" per se; but they've had their asses kissed by a lot of guys, and they ASSUME you'll do the same.

When you show them that you won't, it will either make them walk away(which is fine, you spared yourself from dating a selfish bytch) or they'll be very attracted to you because you're different.

Either way, it works out better for you.
 

Sloopy

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Hmmm..I guess the best advice I could give in this situation is that when the girls pull sh1t like that, you need to put them in their place. Not in a mean way, but in a firm way. These girls are used to being in control of the relationship. Since a lot of the guys they date, even the ones who are 10s, are still completely strung in by their feminine wiles. So don't let her do that stuff to you. Here's an example:

You: "Wanna give it a go?"
Her: "Gawd! How many times are you gonna ask me? You're like drive my truck now or something!"

Now, here you don't let her know that it's getting to you. You just look her right in eyes and give her a slight grin. Then say something like,

You: "Yeah...isn't that what you're paying me for?"

or with a more serious tonality, again right into her eyes -

You: "You're right. I am. <one second pause> So are you gonna give it a go or not?"

At the same time, you may just have to learn to take her signals and know when to back off. Sure, she wanted to learned stick and you taught her - It may not be a good idea to push the issue. You have to keep things light and fun and she may have just been in a bad mood at the time/just didn't feel like driving/was hoping for something else.

Sometimes girls are just b1tches. It's in their nature. The best thing you can do is not let it get to you and make sure she knows you're not gonna take her sh1t.

Any additions or critiques on what I've said?

~Sloopy
 

jmeredi

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I was dating a girl who admitted that the thing she liked about me was that I didn't kiss her a$$. She told me she will intentionally be mean and b!tichy just to see if a guy will fold. When I didn't guess what? Wet panties. It's amazing how pretty girls think we owe them everything just because they got lucky on the genetic side of things.
 

MidnightResistance

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I have walked away from every chick I thought was really attractive. They're fvcking *****es to guys and then they wonder why we walk away from them.
Craziness.

I usually go for chicks who are nice looking, but not 'great' looking. The great looking ones just tend to be really messed up.
 

Wyldfire

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In most cases, the more attractive a woman is, the more "high maintenance" she is. Every woman requires a different level of attention/affection from whoever she's dating. If you aren't fulfilling a woman's emotional needs it's the equivalent to her not fulfilling your sexual needs. It leads to dissatisfaction in the relationship. When a woman is dissatisfied in the relationship she will test, create conflict and bring a load of drama into the picture. I have a tip in the Tips section that explains how to avoid the tests, conflicts and drama in LTRs if you're talking about LTRs.
 

MidnightResistance

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I've been in an LTR for 2 years before she caused lots of conflict because I went out with my mates to the pub once a week opposed to spending EVERY night in with her.
I couldn't be doing with it.

STRs are what I need
 

Stag

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Well. You tried to do what she said she likes rather than what you like. And cummon, how ****ing exciting it is to drive manual gear truck...??? when you should have been with her in your bedroom. dont be a lamer.
And to pass tests all you need is self-respect. but u get too emotional about it, and she saw ur insecure.
 

brenbaus

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if she enjoys it once, you know something you can use later, but not on the next date, this would just ruin your time on the second date, wait a month or so before you bring it up again, until then, find something else that she enjoys!
 

johnnyrem

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I don't know that I was projecting insecurity, so I am not so sure that comment implies. Driving a stick shift is boring? Well, we had gone out dancing at a blues bar earlier, then went for a nice walk by the river and took in the sights, as well as a few other things. It was just capping off the evening, and by her actions she gave no indication of impatience with my behavior. Don't get too fixated on my "stick shift" example. I can recount other behaviors where they went pissy with little provocation. Which, in my more cynical moments, leads me to think that women ought to be damn thankful that they have ****s, because otherwise guys wouldn't put up with the sh!t test, or even give women the opportunity to spring it on them. In my defense, I can only stop contacting women after witnessing such behavior, and they must go through guys like a soap watching housewife goes through Kleenex.

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing except to note that if a girl is into you she'll cut you some slack.

Trouble is, I expect to do better with the attractive ones than I do. I would hope that, being their physical and intellectual equal, that they would not be pissy and testing right away, but the reality is that they do. I am not just another lump, looking for a one night stand, although that can be okay at times. I work out regularly and my physique looks way, way better than your average Joe. I've got a graduate degree myself and can hold a conversation.

If I attempted *****y type behavior on a date I'd get dumped faster than you can say AFC. When women act *****y it's a "test" and supposedly you've got to counter her behavior by showing her your d!ck is way bigger than hers. For me, though, that kills it, in that if she's doing it to me now, what's the LTR gonna be like?

Seems that these women have quite a sense of entitlement when they go out on a date. On the behalf of all guys everywhere, I wish we as males would refuse to put up with it, but there's alway's another guy willing to kiss her ass. Which continues the pattern of behavior.

Why do I think I don't have to put up with it? Because I dated women that didn't do it.

NEVER, EVER, EVER has considerate behavior and an attractive exterior ever been combined in one woman in my dating experience. With the lookers, it always seems like she's thinking, "Hmm. I wonder how much more of my sh!t this guy can take."

Which is why I'm still single, I guess. I would just like to establish a history of success with women I'm really attracted to, but I am beginning to appreciate that this is almost too much to ask for, and my failure rate is daunting. Every time, by the second or third date, the sh!t test starts flying, and I think, "Why does she have to act like such a b!tch already?"

I'm not a god of snappy comebacks, but I am pretty fair with an indifferent shrug after witnessing this behavior. A black mark does get chalked up in my mind, though. Again, though, this isn't just the 9's doing this, but the 7's and 8's too. What happened to having a good time rather than digging up drama at the slightest excuse?

I'm going to keep trying to get the attractive and intelligent ones because I think I deserve to, but I am starting to think that attractive, intelligent AND decent cannot be found in one person.

As always, any further advice is appreciated.

Like MidnightResistance, I've had to walk away from every chick I've found attractive, and I wish I didn't have to do that. Occasional success would be nice.
 

joekerr31

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what happened to good times?

i think its called mtv.

every hot looking chic out there thinks shes madonna.

J
 

BlackJackal

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Hell the way I see it, if you dont want to put up with their sh!t, the just dont. I've met girls like that, and cant stand them. I dont care how fine they are, I tell them like I tell everybody else," You get what you give when it comes to me. Dont like it, then step the fvck off.":D
 

upcomingDJ

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here's an advice: do the same sh*t to them..., then they'll stop f**kin with you... of course this is only after you built some rapport and gotten to know them...

show 'em who's boss if she b**ches again...
 

MidnightResistance

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every hot looking chic out there thinks shes madonna.
I hope not! Her arms are bigger than mine! :eek:


The last really hot chick I got the number of kept being unpleasant, and I had to constantly neg-hit her every 5 minutes. I was just constantly ripping the sh1t out of her for like...2 hours. This seemed to be her 'acceptable' level of conversation.
On the next date I didn't bother. I mean, can you be arsed to take the piss out of someone you want to screw for a total of 4 hours? She lost interest at this point. I was glad because constantly cussing each other is no basis for a date.
 

libre

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Hello Johnnyrem

I hear your complaint. I guess that you ran into too many princess' out there.

The current generation of beautifull girls have been quite pampered by their parents and society. Beneath a tin veneer of skin some of them are revealing Mr Hide personalities. Some of them are narcissistic egocentric creatures to be frequented at your peril. I know, I have been terribly wronged by one (..!).

Though the common advice given on this site to circumvent hissy behavior from these princess's is to be hard and to lay down the law to them. Myself I just cannot bear to tolerate these kind of creatures in my relationships.

I would not want a relationship to be a constant struggle to get and keep the upper hand. I would not want to continually play power games to assure myself of having a decent relationship with any woman. Do you yourself want and can bear with this kind of aggravation?

As Scott Speck wrote "Life is hard." in "A road less travelled". Adding to the tribulations of work, health issues and the rest, who also wants to bear with the aggravation of having to heard an egocentric histrionic Catwoman?

My advice, just stay clear of these Princess' when you meet them may they be Angelina Jolie or whoever.

The stick shift experience with the PHD that you met is a good example. If a girl goes hissy or whatever for nothing like what you experienced, would you want to continue to frequent her? I would not.

Good life to you sir.

Libre.

(Help me, I am not sure of the proper method of putting princess in plural. Is "princess' " the proper method?)
 
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