I’m not nice enough

[sazc]

Holy sh1t

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Side note, you are definitely out of your league in terms of your current age group. You should be aiming for college-aged girls, and you will definitely have a good time in college as long as you can deal with the superficiality of the women. Perhaps in college you should aim for older women?

College is overrated where I’m at. High school was better tbh.

 

[sazc]

College is overrated where I’m at. High school was better tbh.

Bummer

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There are women who ARE in the hottest tier and yet are still women with a sweet disposition and have the other characteristics that are desirable in a life mate. They get wifed up fast because the combination is rare. But it certainly exists. There are any number of men here who have found such a woman, including a couple of the moderators.

I just disagree. Which moderators have found someone actually hot in the normal sense and sweet? It doesn’t exist. That’s akin to saying there are still hot virgins left lmao

If you don't believe me then you've never seen such a woman, which may mean you aren't on their radar screen and/or you don't move in the social circles where these women are. You yourself have asked me where to find such women in the past and I have given you suggestions. You then disclosed how you didn't feel comfortable in those environments. That's about YOU, not about the environment. If you don't think you belong for some reason that is an issue intrinsic to you.

I’ve found 6 women in my life who were like that. By now, they’ve all been corrupted. And while I did ask WHERE to meet those women, it wasn’t that I “didn’t feel comfortable”, it’s that I’ve gone to said places before and thought them to be very haughty and fake. Your definition of a good woman is very different from mine. I think this is where the disconnect between us occurs. I refuse to believe that I am being too unrealistic for someone like this to EXIST lol. But this is a different topic. All I’m saying is that I actually DO deserve better. There is no women who is my feminine equivalent who would think I am in their league. This is a problem. Not with me, but with society.

Not too long ago you made a comment in a thread about how you are now in a more affluent area and you are seeing fit pretty women and their clean cut spouses and you were talking about how you didn't get any sort of sexual vibe from these couples. That's neither here nor there (some people are extremely private about their private lives and not every good looking person gives off a sexual vibe to everyone else...a good quality...) At least you are starting to see for yourself that segment of society.

No that’s not what I meant from that post. What I meant by it is that to them, sex is only vanilla; missionary, 1 round, and lasts for 20 minutes max, and only happens to have kids, otherwise it’s just a birthday present. THAT is the vibe I get. These guys hung themselves by their balls, and their women while ‘pretty’ are not ‘sexy’ at all. Talk about a handjob or ******* and your wife will be thoroughly disgusted with you for a week. THAT is the vibe I get. In the same way that you can flirt with your partner, is the same way that these couples do not. It irks me because humans are not asexual creatures. These women aren’t stunners, they just do their hair and makeup and put on decent clothes. There’s no playful attitude, no lustful look in their eyes when they look at each other, nothing meaningful. Just that white picket-fence “oh yeah we are ‘happy’”. Like that one couple from American Beauty. Except even capitalized more so on the platonic part. That’s how it is in this area. Having a girlfriend means holding hands and getting a kiss on the cheek. She might as well be your sister. It’s so lame, and not something I liked at all.

Look I get that you find me arrogant and egotistical. No worries. I also get that you want to hurl little insults at me and so forth about who I am dating a la:

Just like the girl, you took it the wrong way. I say stuff more matter of fact instead of contempt/annoyance. I’m not as emotionally charged as I was when I was 17.

I find this comment silly. It actually took very little time, less than a year to run into someone really cool and that was while making almost no effort on my part. We dated for 18 months. Six months after that I met the current boyfriend. He's younger than me by a couple years. Many high value men asked me out in between those two and I went on as many dates as I felt were worth making time for. I am selective and have high standards. I've never suffered from lack of real options and solid choices.

You aren’t getting what I was saying, but you kinda made my point talking about having high standards despite having options. I too would much rather by myself than with some cvnt. But the disparity is real though. Perhaps it really is just my location. Or perhaps because I’ve moved too much at the wrong times. It’s whatever. I don’t want to think about Hess things anymore though, I’ve already dealt with them and bringing them back out is just opening up a can of worms for no reason.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It was just one set. The analysis is a bit much.

But yeah, you have to get the gist that she's attracted (which you did), then relax and let her invest for more of a connection.

And you say "she needs to know her place". That's awful energy to be putting about, and women pick up on that. Teases should come from a sense of having fun - like the cheeky chappy you were back on the school playground. That's more the sort of boyish charm that women enjoy. You can get away with a lot, or very little depending on the energy.

I have called dates/plates/girlfriends b1tches "you're such a b1tch, i fvcking hate you" and they laugh, but the energy was the latter - not the former.

Less what you say, more the attitude.

I understand what you are saying, but it wasn’t my attitude that was the problem really. Firstly, I said women in general need to know their place, it wasn’t aimed at this girl in particular. Secondly, I’ve done the same thing to this very girl. I called her ab!tch straight to her face (albeit in a different way than may seem here) and she giggled about it. The only thing that’s annoying is that I’m gonna be forced to see her again anyways so I don’t want things to be awkward between us or anyone. I’m not, but I know for a fact that she is the type of girl who will make it so. I’ll just flip the tables on her.

 

[BeExcellent]

I just disagree.

That's OK. We agree to disagree.

Which moderators have found someone actually hot in the normal sense and sweet?

Colossus and Atom Smasher. Colossus married a beautiful virgin with a sweet disposition and Atom is very pleased to have found a beautiful, loving, incredible woman. She had been widowed and hadn't dated in something like 8 years before they started going out.

I’m not as emotionally charged as I was when I was 17.

True. You are smart, curious, straightforward and self aware. And that is only going to continue to benefit you as you move along in life.

Your definition of a good woman is very different from mine. I think this is where the disconnect between us occurs

Honestly I don't get the impression our definitions are that far off. I think the best women are pretty, sexy, sweet, intelligent, nurturing, loyal and ride or die for life. They have the character to be good life partners and mothers, and yet remain lovers with their husbands. They defer to their man and allow him to lead but know their opinion is valued at the same time. They place the marriage relationship ahead of the motherhood relationship. These are the principles I am striving to raise into both my daughters, and those are the principals I was raised with (yes I know I'm divorced etc.,) but nevertheless these are the things I focus on with my girls as they grow up.

I do think we have different reference points as far as background goes perhaps but I don't get the impression your definition is all that different from what I'm describing above.

There’s no playful attitude, no lustful look in their eyes when they look at each other,

You want a girl with spunk, with some sass. Not disrespectful but a chick who can take a little and dish a little. I get it. Not everyone is wired up the same way. Not everyone's sexuality is on display at all times. You can't assume these couples are all boring vanilla couples who have sex only at 9pm on Wednesdays after the kids are in bed. You really don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

I tend to have an allure and sex appeal and that playfulness thing going on. In fact there are times it would be better to switch it off but I can't entirely...which is why I need a more overtly sexual type guy who can handle me and the sexual energy I exude in spite of myself. Otherwise I'm mismatched. So I understand what you are talking about. But I've also seen some of these so-called plain vanilla couples who are deeply loving toward one another but not in an overtly sexualized way because their sexual life is extremely private...but also sacred. And certainly some couples are so straight-laced that you or I either one would find them boring or bland...but if they are happy, then that is all that matters...and naturally not all couples are happy, but that is true of passionate ones as well as plain ones.

And you say "she needs to know her place". That's awful energy to be putting about, and women pick up on that. Teases should come from a sense of having fun - like the cheeky chappy you were back on the school playground. That's more the sort of boyish charm that women enjoy. You can get away with a lot, or very little depending on the energy.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Attitude/energy is everything. Calibration. Become that playfulness that you are looking for...you'll figure it out.

 

[Murk]

This was a big issue with me and my ex, I was too cruel she would say, but she was actually a mess of a human being who would cry at the drop of a hat.

Fvck that oversensitive sh1t it’s just not worth your time with these feeble snowflake women.