HUGE case of flirting with guy right in front of me

[slaog]

Damn. It's one thing to realize that we all will be attracted to other people and even be a little flirtatious at times, but to do it right in front of your face? I think it says a lot more about you than it does her, as in she didn't even hesitate because she figures you're wrapped around her little pinky.

I agree. If she was overly flirting with the guy then it seems you were of little concern to her. Ask yourself why that is. You then made things worse by sulking about it. It's likely she knew why you were sulking but still didn't care enough to say anything.


It all says to her that shes the prize and you're afraid of losing her. So afraid you'd rather sulk then say anything.

 

[slickaz]

dude, heres a plan for you.
Pull her aside tell her WTF is going on with her flirting infront of you.

Call her out on that BS so she'll know you're not some whimp that see's it and just shuts up. You're not Ned Flanders, step up and call her out, and hear her explanation. Be confident.
IF she wavers and tries to turn it on you, tell her that if you came across as flirtatious with another woman, would she be happy?
If she does it again, dump her.

I think you have to bring your concern to her attention. So the next time she'll think twice before doing something. And if she does it again, then she best know you'll drop her like a bad habit.

 

[Nutz]

"Any suggestions or recommendations on how to handle now or in the future appreciated."

Sure.

Enjoy her while at the same time looking for a new girl on the side to replace her with.

Once you deem the new branch to be secure and better than the old discard your current girl for the new and better.

Situations of massive disrespect that provoke enough suspicion that brings a man to a forum like this posting for advice on what to do are situations in which the relationship is becoming a sinking ship.

Any sane person on a sinking ship then begins looking for a life raft because staying with the ship means certain death.

So go find a life raft.

Broken relationships cannot be fixed.

You can't counsel someone back into desiring their partner.

And your girl clearly desires this yoga buddy of her's and wants his c0ck on her tonsils and in truth its probably already been there, you of course just don't know about it, thats their little secret tee hee.

So yeah go get you something on the side and once you decide its better and stable swing to that other branch.

As for what you do to hopefully prevent this sh!t in the future?

Its all about frame control my man.

In the very beginning of the relationship you and the girl need to go over your do's and don'ts in the relationship.

What is disrespectful behavior and what isn't etc.

That way little episodes of your girl being all over some guy's jock in public while you seeth with rage inside do not happen and if they do you go pay for your groceries or whatever the fvck and walk right out of that g0ddamned store alone.

She can find her own ride home and probably will right on that other guy's c0ck but its nothing for you to be concerned about any longer as when a chick begins massive outright disrespect like this the riding another guy's c0ck has already been going on for quite some time so never feel bad about walking away when you sense massive disrespect as massive disrespect almost always comes with massive horrible behavior that you haven't seen.

P.S: Keep on listening to Doc Love and also check out some of Anti Dump's Machine in the DJ Bible.

Someone must have cloned my brain, put into another body, and that other person posts as KontrollerX. The only thing I'd quibble over is that the OP really needs to have a sit-down conversation with the gf and explain the do's and don'ts if they haven't already, and then judge her reaction to the conversation. Also might be time to start going to yoga classes with her to monitor body language and how they interact.

I'm with Kontroller though that this one is pretty much done, it's just time to judge how long he should linger before trading her in for a new model. If she's just flirting and generally disrespecting him by flirting with the other guy and other mundane inappropriate behavior then he can take longer replacing her. If he digs deeper and finds she's already messing around then he'd have to kick her to the curb immediately. Really it's just a matter of severity. I guess that's my point to all of this.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

There is a fine line between the being the calm, confident guy who does not come across as needy or jealous and being the guy that is a doormat.

She is obviously attracted to this guy. You noticed that. That is not something unacceptable and women are going to be attracted to men other then the ones they are dating/married to. Even with her being friendly and showing signs of interest in front of you, you need to sometimes take these things with a pinch of salt. If you are both attractive, its something you both learn to deal with. There is a difference between being a little too friendly and disrespecting you to the point where she made you feel uncomfortable though.

The minute it has made you feel really uncomfortable you have a serious problem. The minute it has you doubting her and your trust wanes you have a serious problem. The problem here was that she did nothing to protect your opinion of her. She did not even care what you thought of her at that moment. At that moment, when she ran into this guy, you did not even exist. His opinion of her was more important then your opinion of her. Which means she sees him as higher value. This is at least from what I can gather from your post.

The fact that she responded the way she did when you left the store tells you she KNOWS she was out of line. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She does not care either because she thinks that you are a safe bet and you are going no where (doormat) OR her interest level is currently no where and she does not care if things **** out. So as it stands, you are either a doormat or she is looking around.

You should have called her on her **** there and then. If she became combative/shameful you should have walked away at that minute. Its too late to act on it now though because it means she really got to you if you bring it up. Which means you only devalue yourself. Dont over analyze everything, but the next time she does something you find disrespectful (I can assure you, you wont have to wait long) call her on her ****. If she becomes argumentative because of it, walk away. If she does not come back with a decent apology and an improved attitude then its time to start looking around.

 

[sodbuster]

If I ever think i need to fire someone at work, I need to DO it now. When you finally do, you wonder"why didn't I do it earlier" It is work to replace them-interviews and all, but in a couple months, you are happier. Something tells me you should do the same.

 

[Truebrit]

There is a fine line between the being the calm, confident guy who does not come across as needy or jealous and being the guy that is a doormat.

She is obviously attracted to this guy. You noticed that. That is not something unacceptable and women are going to be attracted to men other then the ones they are dating/married to. Even with her being friendly and showing signs of interest in front of you, you need to sometimes take these things with a pinch of salt. If you are both attractive, its something you both learn to deal with. There is a difference between being a little too friendly and disrespecting you to the point where she made you feel uncomfortable though.

The minute it has made you feel really uncomfortable you have a serious problem. The minute it has you doubting her and your trust wanes you have a serious problem. The problem here was that she did nothing to protect your opinion of her. She did not even care what you thought of her at that moment. At that moment, when she ran into this guy, you did not even exist. His opinion of her was more important then your opinion of her. Which means she sees him as higher value. This is at least from what I can gather from your post.

The fact that she responded the way she did when you left the store tells you she KNOWS she was out of line. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She does not care either because she thinks that you are a safe bet and you are going no where (doormat) OR her interest level is currently no where and she does not care if things **** out. So as it stands, you are either a doormat or she is looking around.

You should have called her on her **** there and then. If she became combative/shameful you should have walked away at that minute. Its too late to act on it now though because it means she really got to you if you bring it up. Which means you only devalue yourself. Dont over analyze everything, but the next time she does something you find disrespectful (I can assure you, you wont have to wait long) call her on her ****. If she becomes argumentative because of it, walk away. If she does not come back with a decent apology and an improved attitude then its time to start looking around.

Agreed- best advice with this one.

 

[jonwon]

1. Why wait for a next time - its clear what this girl is about, what you waiting for? More proof? When someone breaks into your house, steals your shi*, - do you wait to call the cops to see if he does it again? If a dog comes in off the street and takes a massive steaming shi* on your carpet do you leave your door open to catch the dog again just to make sure that the pile of cra* you just suffered with was not a product of your delusional mind?

2. What does this girl offer you, apart from making you uncomfortable, destroying your self-esteem and flirting around hot guys whilst in your presence?

3. Why do you need to continue dating her? At what point in that interaction has she proved herself to be a good GF and a partner who supports you and is proud to have you on her arm?

4. If it is not the gym yoga guy, then who is it - how many steaming tur*s can your carpet take before its so used up, worn out and stinking to high heven you are forced to replace it -

Know this:

Whilst you keep this girl on - whilst you watch her flirting with every guy who she finds desirable - every-time you ignore this - each and every moment is; another moment where your own self-confidence and self-esteem and your own self-respect goes a little further down the cra*per.

Is she worth it?


Is Doc-Love correct?

Should you ignore your GF openly flirting in your face - I doubt for one second Doc-Love would advice you to ignore it in-case you piss-her-off and risk loosing her -

What a backwards concept - ignore it?

Would you ignore it if she was bouncing on mister Yoga-mans rock hard Coc8, working in sweat induced frenzy to get his steaming hot load filling up her love tunnel?

No?

Then why ignore the fact she is practically running to the guy with her panties down her ankles.

Wise up dude.

Ditch the *****.

Look at it this way:

No more feelings of being disrespected, no more having to witness you GF flirt around every guy with a pulse and a decent pay-check, no more posting about this chick on an online forum - no more wasted energy thinking if this cun* is riding some other mans ****.

Time spent that could be used in finding a girl who doesn't treat you like walking doormat -

How many girls have you passed by whilst dating this one - how many opportunities have you missed or passed up or did not even notice due to the head-**** this girl puts you under on a constant bases~?!


You confront her: Your a jealous controlling prick - and your inner AFC will put you on the defensive and try to play down her impression of you -

You 'don’t' confront her: she carries on!

Take your pick - solution: confront her or don’t confront her.

You should never demand or ask your GF to respect you, ever!

 

[mothballs]

anybody else notice that guys who post threads like this NEVER listen to the advice given to them?

they never choose to avoid making a mistake by listening to advice that is 100% pure fact, and instead they do what they already know they shouldn't do, but still do it because the AFC inside them simply will not let them make the right decision.

In the end, they all choose to learn their lessons the hard way.

That makes me wonder why we give advice to these chumps in the first place, if it is a 100% gaurantee that they will not listen to it, and continue to do the wrong thing, which in the end leads them to a painful lesson

Haha I actually completely agree with you about this... I hate it when people ask advice and they have no plans to actually follow it.


To the OP: If you wanted to diffuse the situation, you should have taken charge of it and chatted the guy up yourself... instead as someone else pointed out, you just sat and fumed off to the side.

 

[slaog]

1. Why wait for a next time - its clear what this girl is about, what you waiting for? More proof? When someone breaks into your house, steals your shi*, - do you wait to call the cops to see if he does it again? If a dog comes in off the street and takes a massive steaming shi* on your carpet do you leave your door open to catch the dog again just to make sure that the pile of cra* you just suffered with was not a product of your delusional mind?

2. What does this girl offer you, apart from making you uncomfortable, destroying your self-esteem and flirting around hot guys whilst in your presence?

3. Why do you need to continue dating her? At what point in that interaction has she proved herself to be a good GF and a partner who supports you and is proud to have you on her arm?

4. If it is not the gym yoga guy, then who is it - how many steaming tur*s can your carpet take before its so used up, worn out and stinking to high heven you are forced to replace it -

Know this:

Whilst you keep this girl on - whilst you watch her flirting with every guy who she finds desirable - every-time you ignore this - each and every moment is; another moment where your own self-confidence and self-esteem and your own self-respect goes a little further down the cra*per.

Is she worth it?


Is Doc-Love correct?

Should you ignore your GF openly flirting in your face - I doubt for one second Doc-Love would advice you to ignore it in-case you piss-her-off and risk loosing her -

What a backwards concept - ignore it?

Would you ignore it if she was bouncing on mister Yoga-mans rock hard Coc8, working in sweat induced frenzy to get his steaming hot load filling up her love tunnel?

No?

Then why ignore the fact she is practically running to the guy with her panties down her ankles.

Wise up dude.

Ditch the *****.

Look at it this way:

No more feelings of being disrespected, no more having to witness you GF flirt around every guy with a pulse and a decent pay-check, no more posting about this chick on an online forum - no more wasted energy thinking if this cun* is riding some other mans ****.

Time spent that could be used in finding a girl who doesn't treat you like walking doormat -

How many girls have you passed by whilst dating this one - how many opportunities have you missed or passed up or did not even notice due to the head-**** this girl puts you under on a constant bases~?!


You confront her: Your a jealous controlling prick - and your inner AFC will put you on the defensive and try to play down her impression of you -

You 'don’t' confront her: she carries on!

Take your pick - solution: confront her or don’t confront her.

You should never demand or ask your GF to respect you, ever!

Nice post Jonwon


It's true that as soon as you have to start correcting your GF's behaviour its a bad sign. Thats why it's important to make rules early in relationships. If doesn't have to be written down it's just having an understanding of whats expected by you. That way theres no confusion and if she steps out of line you can easily remind her.

 

[Nutz]

Looking back I think he should have gotten involved and possibly AMOG'd him. I love this little gambit, although it's made for night-game. You'll have to modify it to fit during the day:

"Hey man, where's your girlfriend tonight?"
Or
"Hey man, I bet your girlfriend is a total hottie, right?"

He has two choices:

A) He's a loser and doesn't have one
B) He says he's got a gf

If A... To your girl, "Oh, oh! We should set him up with one of your friends!" To the guy, "Here, give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. We can double date! ... Cool. It was nice meeting you." (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

If B... "Ha! Check this guy out. He's a pimp. He's got his gf at home while he's out here spitting game. Play on playa!" (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

Both methods give value, so IMO it's not really an AMOG tactic. Regardless, it does serve the purpose of completely shutting him down.

 

[Colossus]

DASH-

I'm assuming this is the same girl you post about every 5 or 6 months. The problem here isnt HER, it's YOU. I would implore you not to listen to this rubbish advice about dropping her because she is making your life miserable.
YOU are making your life miserable by hyper-analyzing interactions such as the one you described and your ego is clearly invested deeply in this relationship.

This type of thing should not p!ss you off. Why? Because by letting her realtively mundane actions dictate your emotions you are inadvertently giving her power that you should have mastery of YOURSELF. This is dangerous territory, my friend. Like JeffSt said, your girl is ALWAYS going to find other men attractive, just as you will other women.

Let me ask you this: If you saw a really cute girl from your gym at the grocery store, one you have a bit of rapport with, would you NOT talk to her because your gf was there? Would you not maybe be a wee bit flirtacious with an HB 9 who was into you? It's a rhetorical question, because we all know what the answer is. Talking with her or even mildly flirting with her doesnt mean you love your gf any less or are going to go and bang gym girl that night.

Now, if your girl is repeatedly displaying this behavior, that is another story. Also, you didnt really describe the magnitude of her alleged flirting. That information could change the whole direction of this thread.
However, I highly doubt you will break it off with her over some flirting, so what I suggest you do is check yourself immediately and pull your ego out of this relationship. It sounds like you and your gf live together, which is a big mistake, but that's another topic for another day.

 

[PokerStar]

pull your ego out of this relationship.

hey colossus.

1. How does one pull their ego out of a relationship?

2. How does one know if their ego is invested in the relationship?

3. How can we stop from investing ones ego into a relationship?

 

[Colossus]

hey colossus.

1. How does one pull their ego out of a relationship?

2. How does one know if their ego is invested in the relationship?

3. How can we stop from investing ones ego into a relationship?

1) I'll give you an analogy. It's like being cold and getting warm outside in the winter. It's much easier to STAY warm than it is to GET warm. Similarly, it is much easier to enter in to a relationship with a strong sense of self-respect and identity that is NOT dependent on outside validation than to acquire this within the confines of a relationship started as an ego-investment. Your identity is (or should be) something you understand in your core from experiences, reflection, and continual personal challenges. I know that sounds all Tony Robbins, but the process by which you understand yourself is through testing and refinement. Too many guys get into relationships--even with great girls--only to place their value as a man on the outcome or status of the relationship. NO WOMAN can validate you as a man, or bestow your masculine identity upon you. You acquire this through the guidance of other more mature men (i.e. your father or mentor) and by going your own way.

2) You know your ego is invested if HER actions have too much influence on your emotions and self-worth. Now understand that in any LTR your ego is going to be invested to some degree; but it becomes unhealthy when your validation as a man comes from her, or when her behavior (such as flirting) turns your inner world upside down. At that point your world clearly revolves around her, rather than voluntarily accepts her as an asset or positive addition.

3) You can avert this common pitfall by becoming self-sufficient and self-actualized WITHOUT a girlfriend. In other words, a girlfriend may be something you want, but it should never be something you need. If the latter is true then there is something amiss with your life or emotions---you are seeking to fill a void. As a practical example, a confident guy who has dated lots of women, reflected on his experiences, has fulfilling friendships, takes care of himself physically, and actively pursues hobbies and ambitions will not find himself in need of a girlfriend. Further, once you get IN to a relationship you must not deviate from the life you have developed as a single guy---she just becomes part of it. NEVER the center. This takes vigilance.

 

[PokerStar]

thanks colossus.

growing up I didnt have much of a male role model, so I looked towards my friends as my role models. After discovering sosuave, I feel that I am becoming the man I was ever so destined to be.

I hope you realize that your (and other Mature posters) words have helped guide me to who I am today and I thank you for that.

Sosuave has made a great impact on my life and the way I view women. I have much repect for you guys and I pray that one day, my advice would have the same impact on someone else's life.

Cheers to you SOSUAVE!!!

 

[DJDamage]

It's funny how women never really turn it off, eh?

Exectly, and that's where the double standard's of what is acceptable for a woman's behaviour vs a man's behaviour is all twisted.

It is the passive-aggressive nature of a woman when it comes to this kind of sh1t that I myself have experienced before. If a woman is in a relationship with a man and another man interests her, all she has to do is throw some quiet subtle hints that she is interested in him and its mostly the other's guy's job to pick up on those signals and go for it. If the other guy doesn't go for it so no harm is done because she is still in a relationship with her current man until someone else's comes along.

A man can't get away with sh1t like that. If the situation was in reversed and it was the OP who left his g/f with the shopping cart while he went alone again to chat up his HB yoga classmate, then his g/f would have a fit 'cause she would probably know what's up.

Why is this situation occured in the first place? because the OP probably failed (you can correct me if I am wrong) to keep his g/f on her toes since day 1. What does that mean exectly? well all you got to look at how typical HB behave's nowday's to find your answer.

As a man you always got to ensure that your women supply doesn't run out even when you are in a relationship. That means you have to stay in good physical shape, it means you have to keep your sharp wit and still maintain the same kind of personality that will attract other women because your value in the eyes of your woman is always going to be judged by how other attractive women perceive you.

As well if you decide to enter LTR, you have to make sure your g/f realises that you were getting lots of pvssy before you entered into this relationship and have no problem to drop her with a snap of your fingers by jumping back to the bachelorhood and right back into getting pvssy left and right like you haven't missed a beat. The simple fear of you doing that should keep a woman in check and wanting to please you instead of irritating you.

A man in a relationship without an upper hand is not the man.

 

[mrRuckus]

I've seen you guys post many reasons why it's hard for men to walk away, despite being in horrendous situations, except one very important reason. One of THE most important reasons, in my humble opinion.

Bottom line - Most men don't want to endure the thought of another man invading his territory; another man laying his woman. It doesn't matter if a man's woman is the most evil creature on the planet, a man doesn't want to endure that thought. People (men and women) are territorial, and people find it difficult to walk away because of the aformentioned reason. Many of you may disagree, but really think about it for 11 seconds. Some people would STILL feel a twinge of jealously if they were to see an ex out with someone else years later, so you can imagine what that internal struggle must be like when the wound is still fresh. Fortunately, women endure the same internal battles/demons, so I say do the smart thing and gain the upperhand by leaving the relationship first. Wicked? Perhaps, but thems the breaks.

In my opinion, he who walks away first leaves with the relationship with the most power. And leaving with the most power and dignity is akin to winning the break-up war. But if you really want to get your hands dirty, engage in psychological warfare, and introduce the trifecta into the equation. Leave the relationship 1st, without closure (which is key), and without a trace. This gem of a maneauver is akin to dropping a nuclear or bilogical weapon in the break-up war, and it can take a person years to recover. It's but one in many steps of what I like to call The Anti Dr Phil's "Medeival Torture Methods" - aka extreme psychological warfare. Closure and forgiveness are NOT an option.

So with that being the ugly and smelly facts, I will behoove me to leave first, if I can help it. The person who chooses to ride it out is usually left with the most emotionally baggage/battle scars, and their self esteem takes an even greater hit. Not only will said individual be left with the unnerving feeling that they didn't have the strength to leave first, they are left toiling in emotional uncertainty wondering what you're doing, "who you're doing", and why you didn't attempt to work things out. Their self esteem takes a hit, and it leaves them with a feeling of lowered self worth. A feeling of "he loved me the least because he had the power to walk away first - without a trace". Nothing lowers a persons self esteem quicker than dealing with feelings of rejection. And there is no feeling of rejection worse than being jilted by a former lover. Knowing all of that, a person would be an absolute fool to not leave first.

Not only would I leave, I'd dissappear like Keyser Soza (Usual Suspects), never to be seen or heard from again. And if she did see you again months or years later??? Take that time in between to self improve to ridiculous lengths, which would drive the stake home even further. It's a subconcious way of saying, "not only did I not need you, I didn't respect you enough to say goodbye". And as a kick in the tail on the way out, "I got even better without you".

Is it an @sshole move? Yep. But no one ever said war and breakups weren't ugly.

That said, if a person is married or has children, of course this would be a tad hard-core...but for general relationships??? I am unmerciful

Win the war!! No mercy!!

 

[Nutz]

As a man you always got to ensure that your women supply doesn't run out even when you are in a relationship. That means you have to stay in good physical shape, it means you have to keep your sharp wit and still maintain the same kind of personality that will attract other women because your value in the eyes of your woman is always going to be judged by how other attractive women perceive you.

As well if you decide to enter LTR, you have to make sure your g/f realises that you were getting lots of pvssy before you entered into this relationship and have no problem to drop her with a snap of your fingers by jumping back to the bachelorhood and right back into getting pvssy left and right like you haven't missed a beat. The simple fear of you doing that should keep a woman in check and wanting to please you instead of irritating you.

A man in a relationship without an upper hand is not the man.

Fully 100% agree. This is why getting married is so bad for men--they no longer have the upper hand or power to tell a woman to GTFO. Keeping the frame that you're desirable and can easily replace the woman at the drop of a hat does just like you said.

It keeps them on their toes so they don't misbehave
They fight to appease you so you don't trade them in for a better model

As soon as you get married you run the risk of them gaining 40lbs, cutting off sex, demanding kids/house/expensive goods, etc. They know they can get away with it because you no longer have a way to call them on it short of getting divorced. And that's such a quagmire they know that even if you do go that route there is a good chance they'll make you pay through the nose for it. The best recourse is to just not get married. At least not until the laws are changed.

 

[speed dawg]

Looking back I think he should have gotten involved and possibly AMOG'd him. I love this little gambit, although it's made for night-game. You'll have to modify it to fit during the day:

"Hey man, where's your girlfriend tonight?"
Or
"Hey man, I bet your girlfriend is a total hottie, right?"

He has two choices:

A) He's a loser and doesn't have one
B) He says he's got a gf

If A... To your girl, "Oh, oh! We should set him up with one of your friends!" To the guy, "Here, give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. We can double date! ... Cool. It was nice meeting you." (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

If B... "Ha! Check this guy out. He's a pimp. He's got his gf at home while he's out here spitting game. Play on playa!" (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

Both methods give value, so IMO it's not really an AMOG tactic. Regardless, it does serve the purpose of completely shutting him down.

I recognize AMOG'ing is a valuable technique, but to tell you the truth, if the girl is into the other guy, there's really no AMOG technique in the world that will help Dash. He was going to look like a fool if he intervened. This sort of thing is up to the girl to prevent the look of disrespect to her man. She didn't.

It's hard to judge this type of situation from a distance, but if she was being OVERLY flirty, then I wouldn't have messed around with trying the AMOG the guy. I mean, the girl is already flirting with him. The damage was done, because she was WILLING to flirt with him right then and there.

I think the only thing Dash could have done was walk away. Say, "I've got some shopping to do, see you later." Then you get a reaction. She probably would have come to him later saying "What's wrong?" all happy and sh1t like women do. Then you could call her out and go from there.

But like I said, the damage was done in the beginning.

 

[squirrels]

What can you do, really?

Bust her balls about it, really. That's all you can do. If you get angry, you're a possessive, insecure lunatic. If you don't respond, you're a p*ssy for backing down.

Ask her if this means you have permission to hit on girls in front of her, too. Ask jokingly if he has a girlfriend and suggest that you could "swap partners". If she goes into denial mode, then bust on her about breaking "the rules" of the relationship.

Not cuss her out or chastise her. BUST on her. It's a joke. The reason it's a joke is because the "relationship" is for HER benefit, not yours. The idea that you're trying to convey is that you could very easily be single and banging 100 other women, but you CHOOSE to be in a committed relationship with her, and that if she's not going to abide by "the rules", then all bets are off and you can go have sport if you so desire.

She's your girlfriend, not your wife, at this point. At her age, she's probably still shopping around. She's 32, the biological clock is ticking, and you still haven't popped the question. You think she's not keeping her options open??

And why aren't YOU keeping YOURS open?? Or don't you have any?

How long have you been dating her?

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Yo man make dis girl tongue yo a$$ then get rid of her, concentrate on your job and developing passions, and get it right next time.

I got rid of a disrespectful girl 2 months ago, it was really hard at first but the first thing I realized was how badly being in a relationship, especially a sh!tty one, stifles your personal growth.