How to respond to a flake?

[T|CK]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

 

[T|CK]

duplicate

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'm with Macallik. Keep in mind that you are essentially a stranger to this girl--being mysterious can only hurt you at this stage in the game because you haven't gotten her to invest anything in you.

"Walking away" is perfectly acceptable and even recommended in this circumstance, but the point of walking away is NOT to get her to come back. It's a NEXT.

To prevent and deal with flaking, you have to give a girl a MOTIVATION not to flake. Believing that you don't care alone is NOT a motivation. However, if you demonstrate that these little things don't bother you and continue to come off as a genuinely fun, cool guy--THAT's a motivator.

Also, the more non-approval-seeking contact you have with a girl beforehand, the more invested she will become and the less likely she is to flake. Text messages are GREAT for this. I will often text a girl later in the same night that I meet her--just something ****y/funny that doesn't require her to write anything back (and if she DOES write back anyway, you know she has some initial interest). The point is to give her enough to get her to think about you, even though she doesn't really know you. Waiting a week or more to call is NOT good, because that gives her time to FORGET you and become invested in someone else that DID step up.

 

[macallik]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

Saying you are the catch and doing actions that show you are the catch are two different things. If you KNEW you were the catch, then you would see this chick as defective or a female with poor judgment of character. In the hardcore approach I've read, you would see her as someone who turned down a million dollars. You wouldn't CARE if she thinks you are mad or irritated because she has proven herself unworthy of any attention.

To paraphrase MrSex4uNYC:

if I'm dating 4 chicks that I really liked and the first one gave me ANY hassles I would move on to the next one and so on and so on until I either found one that meshed with me naturally OR I would assess which one had the LEAST negatives and the MOST positives about her and go for her then work my way back UP the line. when a guy is focused on a chick so much that he is willing to give her emotional satisfaction of someone WANTING to take her out and spend time with her, if she isn’t reciprocating he is making a statement to her. “I CAN NOT GET WHAT I WANT FROM ANY OTHER CHICK ANYWHERE SO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU TO HOPEFULLY COME AROUND AND SEE I'M A COOL GUY”

 

[Love]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

macallick has it. If you were a catch you wouldnt be so worked up about this 1 girl that you cared enough to post here about her. We're trying to help you and you're arguing with us, thats not how **** works bro.

So if you believe that load of crap that no woman is worth persuing because your golden pedastal is too high up for them to reach, drop it and go find the next woman you'll feign interest in to boost your ego. Otherwise, realize that you have a chance to get laid by following the advice you asked for and gof or it you egomaniacle wussy.

Boy never did I think someone could be both those things.. Anyway get angry if thats your reaction but you should have learned something. I hope your next post is a bit more intelligent and a little less in denial.

 

[saturos]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

Oh internet, you make me smile. I'm sure you're the biggest P-I-M-P around, thats why your sh*tting youself about this one girl who blew you off.

Oh, wait a second...
So you're telling us that you are so awesome that a girl blew you off. Am io right, or am i right?

 

[T|CK]

Oh internet, you make me smile. I'm sure you're the biggest P-I-M-P around, thats why your sh*tting youself about this one girl who blew you off.

Oh, wait a second...
So you're telling us that you are so awesome that a girl blew you off. Am io right, or am i right?

Just wait and see.

I don't have to prove myself to her or you. Women love guys that don't care as much as them.

I will let you know what happens.

 

[Love]

I hope your next post is a bit more intelligent and a little less in denial.

Just wait and see.

I don't have to prove myself to her or you. Women love guys that don't care as much as them.

I will let you know what happens.

Sadly not.

 

[kingman]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

I am totally agreeing with TICK on this one.

 

[Mr. Me]

Acting like that really doesn't show that it's really their loss.

Right!

Then they say to themselves, "WOW! What an angry a$$hole THAT dude is! Boy, am I so glad that I cancelled the date with that LOSER!" and then she goes off and tells her girlfriends all about the upset psycho-boy and they all giggle.

Let me tell ya, in life, you're gonna get bullsh1tted many, many times by girls AND guys in ALL different areas of life and you're gonna learn how to smell it when it happens. Then you can say to yourself, "Aha, self! I know what they're doing. Okay..." and it's COOL, because when you know what game they're playing on you, you can just play act along - and quickly get OUT.

But you can't let it bother you because then your life is gonna be filled with lots of bother until the day you die. So it's best to learn how to let it go fast.

So, yeah, "okay" as a response implies agreeability so it's not a great response. But she left a message that doesn't really warrant a reply anyway.

So I wouldn't call her back. What for? So she can get the sense that she's your only option? That you're hanging on to this and still trying for a date with her? Make her even less respectful of you by showing her that you'll accept being flaked on?

I would think that saying "ok" would possibly cause her ego to get the best of her. If she has any interest at all, she will wonder why I really didn't show that I cared too much,

Women are intuitive. You call back - and she'll know intuitively that you care somewhat or you wouldn't have called back at all, even if all you say is "OK".

So to really get to her, IF you're gonna get to her, you wouldn't call back at all.

But "if she had any interest at all", or sufficient interest, she wouldn't be flaking on you in the first place. Her womanly interest in you would be leaving her no option but to meet you.

 

[T|CK]

Sadly not.

Sorry, dude. I just don't believe in using tactics to get a girl to like me. I really just want to come off as needless as possible. In fact, that's the person I won't to become. So many guys are so unhappy because they need a woman. It's my intent to change that aspect of my life. I want to be ok with being alone.

I know I came here asking for advice, and that's needy enough in itself. I know I came off as needy, but that's the thing I should be steering away from, and I come here and get answers on how to manipulate a woman.

I firmly believe it isn't what you say, but the undertones in what you are saying. I know married men that don't try at all and women throw themselves at them. Why? Because they don't need these women and aren't desperate.

What needs to be taught to guys looking for answers is that you can't get women without already having a mindset that says you have plenty of women. You can't get a decent woman by being nice to her.

I don't believe in rewarding people for bad. If a woman says she can't go out without offering some type of counter, then saying "ok" is probably too much to say, but what can I say? I'm just nice enough to respond.

I just can't accept advice from someone named Love. It's a little freaky.

 

[verysuave]

OMG! The people on this site are so desperate. I'm already a catch. That's the thing! I don't have to do anything to get a woman to realize that. They either do or they don't, and if they don't then WHY MUST I TRY?

If I go around trying to make girls that don't like me, like me, then for fvck sakes I'm the most desperate guy you've ever met.

If this sh!t ain't happening naturally, then why am I going to waste my time forcing it. I shouldn't have to, and I damn well ain't going to teach anyone else around here to be that way.

I am with you on this. Why do we need to PROVE to women anything. cuz we DONT NEED TO. In the real world, only men who don't need to prove anything are MORE successful to women. Thats mostly true. . Bro, you hit the bulls eye dead center. You are probably more right than some of these guys on the board. With 23 posts, it seems like you are one of those guys who are from the "REAL WORLD". I am sure you are on this board just to fine tune couple nuts and bolts in your game unlike some people here who have to tune their entire infastructure.

And to let you know that, Yeah, there are guys out in the real world who are AFC guys who had to prove themselves to get with women but, those relationships don't last that long and they end up getting dumped once their women see a REAL MAN such as yourself who don't have to prove shiet. I think those AFC guys WHO DO get ass in the real world (who have to prove themselves) are just being used a "temporary" back up.. and not all AFC guys get laid.. there are some who get lucky but not ALOT..


Men such as yourself who don't need to prove anything to women will always GET MORE ass in the end

 

[Love]

Alright T|CK, hopefully you'll get past the fact that my name means all thats good in the world, as I've gotten past the fact that you name means blood sucking leech who only lives to cause harm and hurt to the world, besides being food for animals with brains.

No one said that having the belief you have lots of women in your life was wrong, but it is not congruent with the belief that You don't have to expend any effort to get the women you want, and those you want aren't worth persuing.

Those are 2 very different beliefs, and yet you have somehow morphed them into one damaging one. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody.

Do you understand NOW?

No one even said you have to use techniques or whatever to get girls, that was, again, something you made up that is damaging.

Of course by no one I mean I didn't, can't speak for the advice of others because frankly I can't remember what's not useful - and yes I know to save your ego I made a big opening here for you to say "LOL LOVE UR ADVICE NOT USEFUL I R WILL NOT BE R REMEMBORZ IT OK"

But you will have to persue women to get them. Maybe some a little, maybe some a lot. It depends on how much you want them, but first of all, as even YOu say, you must be comfortable with being alone, which means comfortable with being yourself. And part of this is giving up the huge ****ing inflamed ego you have that says to you "I can't even tap some keys on my phone to triple my chances of getting laid from this women"

You know what, why do I even try? You've proved yourself ignorant enough, you're just gonna find some point to disagree on, or some place i've left myself open for you to make a quick quip out of or whatever just so you don't have to take anyone's advice to heart. So fine, live your life without learning unless the guy's got a website and a $500 product you can buy. Whatever, I'm done. **** ignorance.

 

[macallik]

Sorry, dude. I just don't believe in using tactics to get a girl to like me. I really just want to come off as needless as possible. In fact, that's the person I won't to become.

I think that you are smarter then some posters give you credit for. However, I think with your mindset, you will swing the pendlum too far in one direction and ended up on the side you are trying to stay away from. You are so concerned with appearing unneedy that you seek to prove your lack of need to others. In Eastern philosophy, a lack of want is seen as a sign of spiritual enlightenment, but from a societal standpoint lack of want is seen as a sign of depression. Just think about that for a minute

So many guys are so unhappy because they need a woman. It's my intent to change that aspect of my life. I want to be ok with being alone.

Why don't you get good at talking to women instead? That way you don't have to get used to being a cat lady. You are essentially throwing in the towel before you get in the ring. Are you so sure you will fail at women that you have already decided to live life without them? Or (and I think this hits it on the nail) you think by needing women less, they will want to be with you even more?

What I would suggest is that you learn the tactics first THEN decide whether you want to use them or not. And by tactics, I do not mean routines or one liners, but the reasoning behind the routines and one liners: why certain approaches work, different ways to approach situations, building attraction, understanding rapport, etc. Basically most of the information in the archive section coupled with oodles of field work.

I know I came here asking for advice, and that's needy enough in itself. I know I came off as needy, but that's the thing I should be steering away from, and I come here and get answers on how to manipulate a woman.

First off, asking a question when you are seeking information to better your life is not needy. Second, manipulation is a harsh word, or rather a word with rather harsh connotations. The fact is, in order to get what you want, you have to give others what they want. If I want a new computer, and you have a new computer and I hear through word of mouth that you are behind on your rent and need $1000... If I offer that money to you, for your computer, is that manuipulation? That is essentially the mission statement of SS. This site is about understanding what women want and how to give it to them in order to get what we want. Capitalism at its finest.

I firmly believe it isn't what you say, but the undertones in what you are saying. I know married men that don't try at all and women throw themselves at them. Why? Because they don't need these women and aren't desperate.

The point me and many other posters are trying to make is that this is only part of the equation. It is not simply because these men don't need women that they are successful though it is a contributing factor in this instance. However, I know single men who act like they don't need women and as a result they DON'T have any at their disposal (which is where you stand right now)

Acting aloof and like you don't need the person might work for a while on an insecure chick or a chick in the beginning stages of the relationship, but it is a also a surefire way to get cheated on or broken up with for a regular/smart woman.

Trust me when I tell you this, I have tried to act aloof and nonchalant and this is the one area where you cannot fake it until you make it in my opinion. There is more to seduction then acting uninterested...

What needs to be taught to guys looking for answers is that you can't get women without already having a mindset that says you have plenty of women. You can't get a decent woman by being nice to her.

On the contrary, you can ONLY get a decent woman by being nice to her. It is the not-so-decent women, the ones that are sought after, throwing numbers away right after she gets them kind of girl that most men are interested in.

Also, if you don't need women, you don't need to convince yourself that you already have plenty

 

[zzeitgeist]

Tick, you sound like someone who has had trouble with women all their life (like many of us here) and started reading these forums/tips/articles and learned quickly that being attentive and needy is a no no... except you took it to far. You see... in order to get something you will need to put in effort...but with the attitude you have right now you will float through life missing hundreds and thousands of opportunities.

Think about it..

If you walk down the street and you see an attractive woman you need to approach and say hello, this is effort and its required to move forward in life... it is not needy, desperate, or AFC... the attitude your promoting would suggest you wouldn't approach any beautiful women, she must approach you, you wouldn't even look her in the eye because your the prize and your the man... your in control.. or are you?

 

[verysuave]

i think what this boils down to is,

Approaching who you are interested in is a step forward and a way to challenge yourself to see if you can have what you don't have but at the same time, you don't need to prove anything TO HER but prove TO YOURSELF that "YEAH, IM THE MAN, I STEPPED IT UP, I GOT GAME"

 

[T|CK]

I really DON'T know what I'm doing, but one thing I'm not going to do is kiss a woman's ass to get her to be with me.

I think as long as I'm not kissing her ass, then whatever I do should be ok.

Is that correct? I think it's on the right track anyway.

 

[AlexTheGreat]

What Love and Macallik and Jeffst1980 are saying here is that there are two ways to prove yourself. One is by actively doing it, and the other is to inherently doing it. I believe you're only seeing the active type.

Here's the difference between them:

ACTIVE: you try to impress them, to prove yourself to them, by showing off your stuff. You try to pick them up, and they can sense it. This indeed, as you've pointed out yourself, shouts desperation. This is the "fake-it-till-you-make-it" phase.

INHERENT: you don't care about the other people, you're there to have fun. By having fun and taking care of yourself, you show (through your actions) that you are of high value. ie: you have fun, you laugh, you approach people, you're not afraid to talk and touch others, you have eye contact. By showing (without trying) that you're a fun guy, you're PROVING to them your worth. But this way you're not desperate because you're not doing it for them: you're doing it because that's who you are.


This is what the other guys meant.


By learning to be comfortable alone, you learn to develop that inner game that makes you show your value inherently.

 

[T|CK]

Alright T|CK, hopefully you'll get past the fact that my name means all thats good in the world, as I've gotten past the fact that you name means blood sucking leech who only lives to cause harm and hurt to the world, besides being food for animals with brains.

No one said that having the belief you have lots of women in your life was wrong, but it is not congruent with the belief that You don't have to expend any effort to get the women you want, and those you want aren't worth persuing.

Those are 2 very different beliefs, and yet you have somehow morphed them into one damaging one. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody. You are not better than anybody. NO. You are not better than anybody.

Do you understand NOW?

No one even said you have to use techniques or whatever to get girls, that was, again, something you made up that is damaging.

Of course by no one I mean I didn't, can't speak for the advice of others because frankly I can't remember what's not useful - and yes I know to save your ego I made a big opening here for you to say "LOL LOVE UR ADVICE NOT USEFUL I R WILL NOT BE R REMEMBORZ IT OK"

But you will have to persue women to get them. Maybe some a little, maybe some a lot. It depends on how much you want them, but first of all, as even YOu say, you must be comfortable with being alone, which means comfortable with being yourself. And part of this is giving up the huge ****ing inflamed ego you have that says to you "I can't even tap some keys on my phone to triple my chances of getting laid from this women"

You know what, why do I even try? You've proved yourself ignorant enough, you're just gonna find some point to disagree on, or some place i've left myself open for you to make a quick quip out of or whatever just so you don't have to take anyone's advice to heart. So fine, live your life without learning unless the guy's got a website and a $500 product you can buy. Whatever, I'm done. **** ignorance.

There is so much love in this retort.

Try building people up instead of tearing them down. You are the one spewing ignorance. Kiss all the women's asses that you want. I matters to me not.

Good day to you.

 

[DJVladdy]

Love what the hell are you talking about? I did not understand any of what you wrote, or why..