how to make normal men approach me ?

[Atom Smasher]

I note that "ive" has been carefully avoiding two very penitent questions that were posed to her by PlayHerMan and Atom Smasher: 1) Why do you have mostly male friends?; and 2) Why aren't you dating one of them? The OP is clearly not giving us the full story. Notice how she only mentions her positive qualities...I am friendly, I dress nice, I am of "normal weight" (whatever that means...) etc. I'm sure she is one of the 3.5 billion women on this planet who have no negative traits

I was just going to call her out on that fact and you did my work for me.

OP, how about it? Do you really want to get to the bottom of this or are you just seeking attention?

 

[origin138]

I NEVER get approached by men in my daily life.

So, go talk to some men. What's the problem here?

I do live in a male environment and have mostly male friends

Most thinking men on this forum would look at this as a major red flag.

Sounds like you've got a stable of "male friends" waiting for their chance with you that you quietly use to your advantage, albeit unknowingly. How many of these "friends" have expressed interest in you, or do you suspect are interested in you? How many of these "friends" do you secretly want to be with, but for whatever reason it's not happening?

Sounds like your standards are VERY high, perhaps unrealistic. It's not uncommon today to find women of below average to average appearance with crappy attitudes thinking they're some prize package. Are you one of them?

I cannot go out with them to meet guys, I need to go out alone, but am nervous about going to a bar alone.

Where are your female friends?

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated !

You'd be hard pressed to find much sympathy here with regard to your dating struggles, but luckily for you the formula is simple:

1. Be thin/have good hygeine
2. Be flexible/have a good attitude/be approachable
3. Be honest with yourself about what you bring to the table, and adjust your standards accordingly. Don't expect a prize if you're not a prize. No, a vagina does not make you the prize.

If you can meet the above standards and still find yourself single, you're probably over-estimating what you bring to the table or your standards are out of whack.

Best of luck.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi there guys.

After reading a bit in this forum i do have more appreciation and sympathy for everything guys have to go through in life. However am even more puzzled about my situation. I have not had a boyfriend in a long time and really really need to start dating again, however i NEVER get approached by men in my daily life.

so question1. why dont i date my friends?
because i dont like my male friends as men. there arent any sparks between us, if there was a spark between us we would not end up as friends.i was in a relationship until months a go and during that time hung out mostly with my boyfriend's friends, and occasionally saw my friends.

And so the troll gets caught up in her (his?) own lies. Case closed.

 

[origin138]

We've been successfully trolled.

 

[backbreaker]

well the thread has served its purpose as far as im concerned

with the risk of being banned 10 posts per day is just not feasible for me .

so question1. why dont i date my friends?
because i dont like my male friends as men. there arent any sparks between us, if there was a spark between us we would not end up as friends.
i was in a relationship until months a go and during that time hung out mostly with my boyfriend's friends, and occasionally saw my friends.

question2. why are my friends mostly male.
i have no clear answer to that. men are friendly and cool, i feel comfortable with them.
where do your friends come from - they come from university or from work or from childhood, from hobbies and interests that you have. while i was at university i did have very close female friendships my best 3 friends are 2 females and 1 male, non of them are where i live. did have also alot of female acquaintances. since i have relocated and started working my colleagues and friends are mostly male, although i do travel to see my female friends.
alot of my male friends are not single, they are married, and i see them only with their wives and am friends with their wives and with the single ones. we rarely hang out one on one, but do things together, events, to which also occasionally other females get invited (interests of my friends etc).
add: i also have two female acquaintances with whom i go shopping for ex, but they dont like going out.

i was in a group of people about a month ago outside an AA meeting after the group just shooting the **** and the HB9.5 girl i was talking about, her "best friend" the girl she has known like her entire life or just about, who got busted with her when they got arrested, apparently the friend is pissy beucase she's getting all the attention so she goes out and waits until she isn't here and starts telling everyone how she used (the hb 9.5) used to have sex for drugs and how she was so nasty and how she did X and X and how she was so ****ed up.

that's why females don't have female friends. I don't **** on any woman w ho doesn't have femal friends. females are ****ing cutthroat.

and the kicker is this broad is married lol. though the boyfriend is a BETA male, she STILl doesnt' want the girl to hog the attention from her.

to steal a line from rollo, hpyergamy doesn't give a **** about your friendship (between females). if a girl thinks she can get one up on another friend by throwing her to the curve **** her lol. the right man > female friends to 99.9. 2 of my wife's best friends when i met her she won't talk to today beucase she believes one of them was tryign to break me up wtih her so she picked me over the friend. guys, usually don't do that.

 

[zekko]

Probably the easiest and most obvious one is, "impressed". If you say "I'm impressed" with an air of seriousness as she's telling you something about herself, her emotional alarm bells will go off (in a good sense) and she will actually look for reasons to be impressed with you. Of course that's a very simplistic example and a man can learn to paint an entire world of rainbows and unicorns if he pays attention to this concept and uses it to his advantage.

Another example might be casually mentioning you spoke to your mom on her birthday, and listened to her reminisce for a while, or you took your sister out for her birthday. This is not using words, but rather painting a concept. A woman's heart melts big-time when you come off as caring for your mom or your sisters. It scores huge, huge points.

I thought you were a proponent of the "girls love @ssholes" theory, but you seem to be painting quite a different picture here. As was bradd80 when he said this:

It's the kind of man who stands tall, is confident, genuine, sincere, masculine, charming, strong, and totally focused on you: he doesn’t take crap from anyone and is totally focused on you and your concerns when you talk to him.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I thought you were a proponent of the "girls love @ssholes" theory, but you seem to be painting quite a different picture here

They do, but they always get burned by it.

@ssholes have confidence, along with major and toxic flaws, but most women are unable to evaluate this dichotomy rationally and therefore have a physiological response to the @sshole.

Perceived self-confidence is one component of otherwise toxic @*******ry, and women crave a man who projects self-confidence because they are completely lacking in it.

It's similar to this hypothetical: A person loves Rocky Road Ice Cream with a passion. He has a craving for it. One day he sees a scoop of it lying in a pile of horse manure. He looks around to see if anyone is looking, and he knows he is doing something sick, but he goes ahead and partakes of the ice cream. He can't help himself... The craving for the ice cream clouds his judgment and he rationalizes the manure away.

You seem to be so target-fixated on the @sshole phenomenon (you mention it so much) that it's a filter that you run everything through. Maybe my ice cream allegory will clear up my own perception of the subject.

 

[Atom Smasher]

well the thread has served its purpose as far as im concerned

with the risk of being banned 10 posts per day is just not feasible for me .

so question1. why dont i date my friends?
because i dont like my male friends as men. there arent any sparks between us, if there was a spark between us we would not end up as friends.
i was in a relationship until months a go and during that time hung out mostly with my boyfriend's friends, and occasionally saw my friends.

question2. why are my friends mostly male.
i have no clear answer to that. men are friendly and cool, i feel comfortable with them.
where do your friends come from - they come from university or from work or from childhood, from hobbies and interests that you have. while i was at university i did have very close female friendships my best 3 friends are 2 females and 1 male, non of them are where i live. did have also alot of female acquaintances. since i have relocated and started working my colleagues and friends are mostly male, although i do travel to see my female friends.
alot of my male friends are not single, they are married, and i see them only with their wives and am friends with their wives and with the single ones. we rarely hang out one on one, but do things together, events, to which also occasionally other females get invited (interests of my friends etc).
add: i also have two female acquaintances with whom i go shopping for ex, but they dont like going out.

Woah Woah Woah.... Wait a minute here. OP, you don't create a second user account to skirt around the forum rules.

You see, gentlemen, this is a perfect illustration of the entitled princess who feels the rules don't apply to her. Instead of obeying the rules like you all do as men (even those of you who don't like the rule), she decides that the rule does not apply to her so she'll just make a new user account.... "There... all better".

OP, I'm bringing you up for banning and will delete all further posts by you until a decision is made.

Guys, this dimwit PMd me yesterday with a veiled (covert) allusion to the 10 post limit. I told her to just wait till tomorrow and she can post all she wants.

So how do we handle this? Do we call a woman out for breaking the rules, or do we give her special treatment just because she's a woman? On my watch, we take care of business and practice what we preach.

Such is the audacity of the modern woman:

"with the risk of being banned 10 posts per day is just not feasible for me ."

 

[zekko]

You seem to be so target-fixated on the @sshole phenomenon (you mention it so much) that it's a filter that you run everything through. Maybe my ice cream allegory will clear up my own perception of the subject.

I'm fixated on it because everyone here almost to a man says it, but I don't believe it, nor do I find it to be true, nor do I observe it my everyday life. Unless the girl is complete gutter trash. Maybe all you guys live in terrible places surrounded by horrible, horrible people, I don't know. Even you here, are not saying that women are attracted to @ssholery, you're saying that they are attracted to confidence. Which is a completely different thing.

It's true that an @sshole may be confident. Or he may not be. He may be good looking or not. A girl may be attracted to a guy's looks, or his confidence, but I don't see his being an @sshole as a selling point. He may possess some attraction factors, but I don't think an "@sshole" has cornered the market on confidence, in fact he's just as likely to be masking insecurity as having real confidence.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Zek-man, (just understand that I am not fighting and hold you in the highest regard, as you know from our many personal correspondences), tell, me, what precisley am I saying with my ice cream/manure illustration? What do you see as the point I'm trying to make?

 

[backbreaker]

got to side with team zekko on this debate. girls love guys in spite of them being *******s, not because they are *******s. i don't know a girl that truely enjoys being treated like **** and degraded. they put up with it beucase of the other traits that the guy has

**** this is all in the DJ bible this isn't anything new. you want to be the good guy. the respectfulness of the AFC but the not taking any **** from anyone attitude of the jerk to combine to be a DJ. that is what a DJ is.

there are some girls who for instance look at me and see i dress up and don't have tats and **** and think i'm a pushover, or assume that i'm whatever, than you know what that's on them and those aren't women i would be gaming anyway beucase i don't game idiots.

 

[zekko]

tell, me, what precisley am I saying with my ice cream/manure illustration? What do you see as the point I'm trying to make?

I think you're saying that women are not attracted to *******s.

girls love guys in spite of them being *******s, not because they are *******s

Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think you guys are entirely missing my point.

Girls are attracted to perceived self confidence.

@ssholes project extreme self-confidence along with massively toxic behavior.

Therefore self-confidence is one component of the @sshole. Since women are so attracted to this one component that all @ssholes possess, they cannot help but be attracted.

I am saying precisely what Backbreaker is saying... They are attracted to the @sshole (the ice cream) in spite of the fact that the ice cream is sitting in a pile of manure.

They would rather feel masculine energy and put up with the attendant abuse than to be with a man who doesn't ignite their feminine cravings (the nice guy).

It's love/hate, excitement/resentment. They know the @sshole is completely toxic to them but they can't resist him all the same because he makes them FEEL.

It's like a drug. You know it's disintegrating you but you just can't resist the craving for what it does to you short-term. The addict feels the need take the short-term fix (emotional relief) and can't see himself taking the hard road to freedom (something BB has done and is to be congratulated for).

The @sshole has the drug, the emotional fix, and he also has lots of emotional destruction. She knows he's destroying her but she just wants to feel, so she rationalizes sticking with him.

 

[Bible_Belt]

We've been successfully trolled.

The OP is at least apparently not guy:

http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php
Female Score: 544
Male Score: 362
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Maybe she meant 'guy I was having sex with' when she said "boyfriend."

 

[ive]

wow some very weird responses...im getting kind of tired of explaining myself.

1. not attracted to my friends
2. have had relationships in my life, nice ones, WITH GUYS I LIKE !
3. single for a long time - since june
4. want to start getting approached and be flirted with, propositioned by men, so that i have more options and choose.
this is the whole 4 pages in 3 points .
And your (useful) points:
1. Try to be as attractive/sexy/easy on the eye as possible. improve hair and dress style
2. try to expose yourself to maximum number of guys from the type you might like
3. improve social life
4. be proactive - smile , start conversations, be pleasant, flirt
5. act feminine
6. dont aim too high (this one i tend to disagree with, cannot feel passionate about a guy if do not consider him a person i can admire).

ATOM SMASHER dont call me dimwit, you dimwit
Ah yes and this is the last i will write until i go out at least several times and have further questions.

Bible belt- now thats very fascinating. im curious about the classifiers behind this - speech patterns determine gender...the paper says nothing about the cultural bias.

 

[ive]

It's love/hate, excitement/resentment. They know the @sshole is completely toxic to them but they can't resist him all the same because he makes them FEEL.

It's like a drug. You know it's disintegrating you but you just can't resist the craving for what it does to you short-term. The addict feels the need take the short-term fix (emotional relief) and can't see himself taking the hard road to freedom (something BB has done and is to be congratulated for).

and then the posts "omg break up with borderline. that ***** is crazy" will ensue. the genders have equally powerful ways to awaken craving in the opposite sex in unhealthy ways. play fair, dont abuse women.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

OP,

You sound like an rAFC to me, if you're waiting for HD's to approach you, it's not going to happen. Your typical HD6+ has options and female orbiters. Day game will help with your approach anxiety. You'll get rejected about 90% of the time, but it's much better than regret. You can try online dating to gain confidence, use Naughty Ninja's spamming technique.

Spin plates.

I’d say if O.P is mentally unstable, has one or more baby daddies, a minimum of three tattoos, financial issues, has been arrested, “hates” the bar scene, is “sick of teh players”, is tired of being “used and abused”, is bisexual, married, already has someone and is looking to “upgrade”, looking for “fun” combinations of some or all of the previous mentioned… Then by all means online dating is for the O.P. Simply post any type of profile fluff filler she feels like and three pictures. At least one in a bikini. O.P will be more than “approached”. More like perverts in all shapes and sizes tripping over themselves to dry hvmp her profile, spam or “sperm” her inbox and or bore her to tears with odes of everlasting love and devotion.

If none of the above. She shouldn’t bother. Online “dating” is the LAST place to be approached by “normal” dudes. Same with the chicks who reside on those sites.

 

[Down Low]

My money's on faggot troll. Too conveniently Rooshy-bait after the recent NN exposé.

We've been successfully trolled.

The OP is at least apparently not guy:

http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php
Female Score: 544
Male Score: 362
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Maybe she meant 'guy I was having sex with' when she said "boyfriend."

Let's see . . . 544/362 = 3/2 . . . so "she" is 60% a "sweet talker betty crocker" and 40% a "straight-talkin' gay-walkin'" type. Yeah. Right. A half-and-half. A "bisexual." A faggot.

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

[/APPLAUSE]

 

[backbreaker]

this thread is why i don't take 95% of the people on this forum very seriously

the OP is probably the most well adjusted female (outside of penkitten of course) i've ever seen on this forum.

you have guys who believe if a woman doesn't have 10 oribetrs than she is seriously either ugly or lying and that's bull****. women have dating problems just like men do. even cute ones.

most guys here have stopped trying to game women and just resent them now for "Having it easy" and when they don't "have it ewasy" they assume it's beucase they suck.

do your thang OP

 

[ive]

people, don't know what to tell you anymore. too much testosterone in this thread...

down low, have you checked the percentages of your posts? do you know how they extracted the features used in the classifier, what texts they used etc? do you know what is the sufficient ratio to claim with high probability that someone is female or male?
just saying...