How to make a girl who doesn't like bjs blow me

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,558
Reaction score
5,083
Location
Bridgeport, CT
Mine doesn't do either but she likes her a[ss] getting eaten. Won't let me put a finger in there. Weird girl.

I don't even like oral that much but I want to work her to a point where she does it once in a while. Thus I am here asking for tips
Not sure about the ass eating. Not very sanitary; nor is anal. I guess it's a power thing in my head. She bled last time we tried it, and it was with half a bottle of lube. Hard for me to press when that's the situation...
 

DontThinkTwice

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
27
Reaction score
28
If this is important to you, you need to bring it up directly and say what you want. A man should be comfortable with expressing his needs and wants. It’s actually very nice-guy ish to be indirect and passive like you’re suggesting.
Robbydog and @Konada are right. Avoiding the subject is the beta move. You are not setting boundaries and prioritizing your needs. I understand not being too overt and obvious, but at this point, you've set a precedent over the last year that it's not required.

Men try to find a way to "trick" her into doing it because they are afraid of confrontation and losing the relationship (she has the power). "Maybe if I rub her shoulders, she'll have sex with me tonight." "If I go down on her, maybe she will go down on me." "If I sprinkle rose pedals on the bed, I might get lucky tonight!" Transactional sex.

I would have a direct talk and say: "I know early on, you said you aren't into this, and I didn't want to pressure you. But this is something that is important to me."

See her response: If she says well sorry bud no can do. The posters here that said she's not that into you are correct. If she starts doing it or at least offers some kind of compromise ("Okay let me think on it"), then she respects you and is into you.

You also should not say "I can live without it" to yourself. I mean of course you can. That's not the point. The point is having a scarcity mindset vs an abundance mindset.

You won't give BJ's? Okay, I can find a girl that will.
You won't cook for me? Okay I can find a girl that will.
You won't have sex when I want to? Okay I can find a girl that will.
You won't clean the house for me? Okay I can find a girl that will.

Your wants and needs are important. Say it louder so the back of the room can hear. YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS ARE IMPORTANT. Can there be some MINOR compromise in certain areas - Yes - But not on something that every other girl does and every man demands of their girl.
 

tkazansky

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 3, 2022
Messages
19
Reaction score
41
Age
45
You tell her that Oral Sex is a must have for you and be prepared to drop her the minute she refuses. She set a line in the sand and either accept it or don't. Sounds like you are going to resent it so save yourself the effort. Bail now or abandon your standard...
I am with 2Rocky here. All the ways my situation is and got f-ed up are for another post, but I am unhappily married to a woman that is less than enthusiastic with bjs...although she does give them. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have done exactly what 2Rocky suggests.

Another guy on here suggested that certain girls are just not into it no matter who the guy is. I tend to agree with this. However, even if it is not a sign of low interest on her part, but just something she is against for whatever crazy reason, why would you want to be with a girl that won't do a bj?

Her reason for not making you happy is not important IMHO. The fact is, she refuses to. You don't need that. Find a woman that makes you happy before you get too many entanglements with a woman that doesn't make you happy.

T
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,518
Reaction score
2,810
Age
50
I am with 2Rocky here. All the ways my situation is and got f-ed up are for another post, but I am unhappily married to a woman that is less than enthusiastic with bjs...although she does give them. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have done exactly what 2Rocky suggests.

Another guy on here suggested that certain girls are just not into it no matter who the guy is. I tend to agree with this. However, even if it is not a sign of low interest on her part, but just something she is against for whatever crazy reason, why would you want to be with a girl that won't do a bj?

Her reason for not making you happy is not important IMHO. The fact is, she refuses to. You don't need that. Find a woman that makes you happy before you get too many entanglements with a woman that doesn't make you happy.

T
This guy gets my point. Regardless if it is oral, or but$ex, or eating Fish on Friday...If there is something that you hold dear and she doesn't, either tell her early on and be true to yourself.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,749
Reaction score
3,198
Location
California
Luckey for me I’m not really into BJs. I’m ok with her doing a 5 min foreplay, but I don’t want it to take time from the Real Deal. I love PIV! I have never met a girl who didn’t love PIV as well.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,518
Reaction score
2,810
Age
50
Just reading the title tells me you care more about the BJ than the Girl.

how to MAKE a girl who DOESN'T LIKE bj's blow me

From the get go it is about forcing her to do something against her will....

It is not "how to make a woman like and want to give oral sex."

OP if you do succeed in your quest she will resent it and that will be the end of your relationship....
 

DontThinkTwice

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
27
Reaction score
28
Just reading the title tells me you care more about the BJ than the Girl.

how to MAKE a girl who DOESN'T LIKE bj's blow me

From the get go it is about forcing her to do something against her will....

It is not "how to make a woman like and want to give oral sex."

OP if you do succeed in your quest she will resent it and that will be the end of your relationship....
Why are you guilting him for wanting the BJ or possibly ending the relationship over this? He should care more about his girl respecting him and wanting to please him. In return, he supports her, would physically defend her, and share his lifestyle with her. I would never stay in an LTR with a girl who refuses to give BJ's.

The only problem is the OP is trying to get her to give BJ's without confronting the issue with the girl directly. He needs to set boundaries that a oral sex is necessary in a relationship for him.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,518
Reaction score
2,810
Age
50
Why are you guilting him for wanting the BJ or possibly ending the relationship over this? He should care more about his girl respecting him and wanting to please him. In return, he supports her, would physically defend her, and share his lifestyle with her. I would never stay in an LTR with a girl who refuses to give BJ's.

The only problem is the OP is trying to get her to give BJ's without confronting the issue with the girl directly. He needs to set boundaries that a oral sex is necessary in a relationship for him.
So if he said "how do I make my best male friend have anal sex with me?" would you say his best friend doesn't respect him enough to do something he dislikes?
 

TheCharmingGuy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2020
Messages
328
Reaction score
273
Age
27
Location
North Carolina, US
Don’t go down on her unless she will go down on you. If she’s not into you going down on her (although all women are) you can swap it for something else she enjoys more.

You could also arrange a threesome. Seeing the other woman sucking your c0ck will encourage her to meet that standard.
 

DontThinkTwice

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
27
Reaction score
28
So if he said "how do I make my best male friend have anal sex with me?" would you say his best friend doesn't respect him enough to do something he dislikes?
I get what you're saying, but I don't think that's a fair comparison. Let's say his girlfriend didn't have sex with him at all. Wouldn't you say it's probably because she doesn't respect him as an alpha or valuable man?

Women will do more sexual things with an alpha that turns her on and will make a beta husband beg for scraps.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,711
Reaction score
7,757
Location
USA, Louisiana
Can't force a woman to do something she doesn't want to do. She will pick up on any attempts at manipulation and consider it weak.

If it's that important to you, then your only option is to dump her. If she means more to you than BJs, then forget about oral sex.
 

peeps

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
38
Reaction score
14
Can't force a woman to do something she doesn't want to do. She will pick up on any attempts at manipulation and consider it weak.

If it's that important to you, then your only option is to dump her. If she means more to you than BJs, then forget about oral sex.
Fair play
 

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
1,009
Reaction score
203
Location
UK
there must be ways of escalating it without being direct and just asking. I feel thats more beta than anything else
No, direct is NOT beta or needy. Beating round the bush and trying to sneak in the back door, manipulate or indirectly ask for or get someone to do something is beta. Alphas use direct communication, end of. You are over-complicating it - there's no magic pill or secret set of words or techniques to 'make her give you a bj'. Just good old honest, direct communication.

You're also not listening to what the other posters here are telling you, to give you a wake up call and kick in the ass.

So just f*cking man up and ask her directly, and if you can't live with a girl won't go down on you then be prepared to walk away. Anything else is weak, beta behaviour on your part.
 

jamesfromhouston

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
336
Reaction score
336
Location
Houston
Actually I've been following this thread over the past weeks. I had a similar situation, there has been this girl that I've been f'cking. So far we have f'cked probably about 4 times. She's 18 and for some reason, from the very first time, she never gave me a BJ. I would eat her out (something I enjoy doing) but she would never return the favor. A few times, I would push her head down as we were making out but she would not do it.

BUT MOST RECENTLY, SHE FINALLY DID IT! And it was a hilarious surprise.

We recently hooked up and things go wild really quickly; I went down on her and made her *** then we f'cked and this time in the heat of the moment, I told her I want her to put it in her mouth. Which surprisingly she finally did. But here's the surprise, it was probably the worst BJ I ever had. Maybe because of her inexperience and the fact she does not do it or like doing it, it just wasn't that good.

So my case might not apply to everybody but sometimes you need to push for it and if there is resistance there's probably a reason. In my case, she is very young and she is inexperienced and it really wasn't enjoyable. Hopefully, she'll get better.
 

RobbyDog

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2021
Messages
196
Reaction score
249
Age
42
Actually I've been following this thread over the past weeks. I had a similar situation, there has been this girl that I've been f'cking. So far we have f'cked probably about 4 times. She's 18 and for some reason, from the very first time, she never gave me a BJ. I would eat her out (something I enjoy doing) but she would never return the favor. A few times, I would push her head down as we were making out but she would not do it.

BUT MOST RECENTLY, SHE FINALLY DID IT! And it was a hilarious surprise.

We recently hooked up and things go wild really quickly; I went down on her and made her *** then we f'cked and this time in the heat of the moment, I told her I want her to put it in her mouth. Which surprisingly she finally did. But here's the surprise, it was probably the worst BJ I ever had. Maybe because of her inexperience and the fact she does not do it or like doing it, it just wasn't that good.

So my case might not apply to everybody but sometimes you need to push for it and if there is resistance there's probably a reason. In my case, she is very young and she is inexperienced and it really wasn't enjoyable. Hopefully, she'll get better.
Actually I've been following this thread over the past weeks. I had a similar situation, there has been this girl that I've been f'cking. So far we have f'cked probably about 4 times. She's 18 and for some reason, from the very first time, she never gave me a BJ. I would eat her out (something I enjoy doing) but she would never return the favor. A few times, I would push her head down as we were making out but she would not do it.

BUT MOST RECENTLY, SHE FINALLY DID IT! And it was a hilarious surprise.

We recently hooked up and things go wild really quickly; I went down on her and made her *** then we f'cked and this time in the heat of the moment, I told her I want her to put it in her mouth. Which surprisingly she finally did. But here's the surprise, it was probably the worst BJ I ever had. Maybe because of her inexperience and the fact she does not do it or like doing it, it just wasn't that good.

So my case might not apply to everybody but sometimes you need to push for it and if there is resistance there's probably a reason. In my case, she is very young and she is inexperienced and it really wasn't enjoyable. Hopefully, she'll get better.
It’s your job to educate this young ‘un

 

Ladykiler

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2019
Messages
25
Reaction score
14
Age
32
Hello,

Been with my girl for around a year, but early in she said bj is just something she doesn't do. Possibly due to past trauma.

I told her that's fine and said she doesn't ever have to do something she doesn't want to avoid begging, or coming across as needy.

I obviously don't want to live a life without bjs, so do any Dons have advice for working her up? She's very receptive sexually to me and will do most things I ask. But I want to work her up slowly so it becomes her idea rather than mine.

Any advice? I have unlimited time and patience
she probably doesn’t like you

I personally couldn’t deal with a chick who doesn’t like giving bjs
 

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
135
Reaction score
74
If a women is comfortable with you and likes you she will do most things in bed, a blow job or oral sex is considered a standard foreplay activity, so the fact she is refusing is a red flag that her interest level isn't as high as it should be. Although she does do everything else you ask so this may balance things out to a degree.

The first suggestion is when you're in bed stop making an active attempt to put your penis inside her, finger her, play with her boobs, put your penis between her boobs etc. At some point she will have to take charge and either put your penis in her mouth (good) or in the vagina, either way its 50/50 which way it will go.

A second suggestion is during foreplay to simply put your erect penis near her mouth, with most women the national reaction is to suck it. If you're confident you can simply slowly shove it in her mouth and see her reaction.

Final suggestion is when you're making move, whisper that you want to ejaculate in her mouth, its not quite a blow job but it will get her use to having your penis inside her mouth.

Ultimately, you cannot force a women to give oral, you can only suggest it and encourage her, but its her decision. If you cannot convince her and you cannot compromise on this issue perhaps a women more attune with your sexual appetite is needed.

PS. Can the OP update us on what has happened since?


 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,685
Reaction score
15,850
The same way you get anyone to do anything in life when it's their own free will...

Figure out how to make her want to do that and get her to think it's her idea.
 

peeps

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
38
Reaction score
14
Boys she gave me a Bj. Thread over, thanks for all your contributions.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top