If this is important to you, you need to bring it up directly and say what you want. A man should be comfortable with expressing his needs and wants. It’s actually very nice-guy ish to be indirect and passive like you’re suggesting.
Robbydog and
@Konada are right. Avoiding the subject is the beta move. You are not setting boundaries and prioritizing your needs. I understand not being too overt and obvious, but at this point, you've set a precedent over the last year that it's not required.
Men try to find a way to "trick" her into doing it because they are afraid of confrontation and losing the relationship (she has the power). "Maybe if I rub her shoulders, she'll have sex with me tonight." "If I go down on her, maybe she will go down on me." "If I sprinkle rose pedals on the bed, I might get lucky tonight!" Transactional sex.
I would have a direct talk and say: "I know early on, you said you aren't into this, and I didn't want to pressure you. But
this is something that is important to me."
See her response: If she says well sorry bud no can do. The posters here that said she's not that into you are correct. If she starts doing it or at least offers some kind of compromise ("Okay let me think on it"), then she respects you and is into you.
You also should not say "I can live without it" to yourself. I mean of course you can. That's not the point.
The point is having a scarcity mindset vs an abundance mindset.
You won't give BJ's? Okay, I can find a girl that will.
You won't cook for me? Okay I can find a girl that will.
You won't have sex when I want to? Okay I can find a girl that will.
You won't clean the house for me? Okay I can find a girl that will.
Your wants and needs are important.
Say it louder so the back of the room can hear. YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS ARE IMPORTANT. Can there be some
MINOR compromise in certain areas - Yes - But not on something that every other girl does and every man demands of their girl.