How to get rid of an AMOG?

[mikeraw]

Last nite I was having a few beers with a female friend of mine at a bar right after the Cowboys game. We were just sitting there and it was getting pretty late and when I looked away this guy just walked up to her and started talking to her and ignoring me.

I have absolutely 0% interest in this chick, but just the fact that some dude just walked up to her not knowing for sure if I was her BF pissed me off. I have to give it to him... he walked in when I had just finished yawning and I was sorta looking away during a moment of silence... I've done this myself a million times, but farken A, I drew a complete blank on how to get rid of this guy or at least engage him in conversation so that I wasn't left so excluded.

Dude just walked up to her, body facing her, not looking at me, then pulled the old "your boyfriend looks upset" thing (at least I didn't react to that), then a friend of his came over, talked to my friend, then 2nd dude left, 1st dude got her number, and that's it.

Man, I was just pizzed off so much that I just sat there like an idiot. A 3rd party would've pitied me... hahaha Any ideas or quick one-liners on how to engage or blow out of the water?

It was late, I wasn't feeling 100%, and those dudes were a little drunk, so I just couldn't jump in with false, try-hard enthusiasm.

Mike

 

[speed dawg]

Interesting predicament. But, if you didn't care, why DID you care? Because he supposedly disrespected you? I can understand that, but some folks are just pricks, nothing you can do to change that fact.

But it is nice to know that guys respect you enough to not act like that. He obviously thought you were her boyfriend and thought it funny to try her anyway. So is your real question how to make people respect you?

I don't know the answer to that, unless it's in the way you carried yourself.

I definitely know what it feels like not to have that enthusiasm. I usually get out of public places when that happens.

 

[mikeraw]

It's not that I cared... it's just the PRINCIPLE of it... Like that Seinfeld episode where that dude hits on Elaine in front of Jerry... Anyways... in this particular case, I didn't care, but if it ever happens to me in front a of a chick that I DO care about, then fark, how do I deal with the situation?

This guy totally shot himself in the foot later on, though... This morning when my friend and I woke up, she told me that he texted her like 3 times like a total loser throughout the night... heheheheh

And yes, it was partly my fault... I wasn't feeling the mood anymore, just had had dinner at a relative's house so I was full... I showed up at the end of a Cowboys game and I wasn't into it as much as everyone else that had been into the whole game, etc... I walked into a testosterone-charged and alcohol-fueled atmosphere when I wasn't in the correct state of mind... I've realized a guy's mere presence isn't enough to deter approaches from certain people...


PS... BTW, we live in Houston and the power is off in much of the city... This chick and I are staying in a friend's house because he has electricity, that's why we slept in the same place. Again, 0% interest in her. She's a 4/10.

 

[KontrollerX]

Well you can't beat yourself up over this.

You came up blank.

It happens.

In anycase the other option if you are drawing a blank for something clever to say to shut the AMOG down would of course be to fight the guy but of course that is a lose lose as even if you win you probably go to jail and if you lose you end up with a broken jaw and cracked ribs possibly if not just having your pride hurt.

And plus who wants to get in a fight over a chick anyway?

Your health is more important.

I mean sure in a way the guy challenged you with this but it wasn't a totally direct challenge like him getting in your face saying he was going to make you his b!tch so in my mind what he did didn't warrant a violent response on your part.

It just warranted what you originally planned ie a clever AMOG destroying response but you blanked out and again that happens so you'll just have to forgive yourself for that and be prepared for a possible next time with something good to say prepared in advance.

Anyway if this situation does happen again and with a girl you actually like this time doing what backbreaker does is probably the preferred method and that would be just be on top of your game make sure the girl is really into you and then when and if another guy hits on your girl you can be thinking inside your head how cute that is and how flattering that he finds your choice in women so good.

This kind of inner game confidence comes from BB knowing that a chick he is with or hitting on we'll probably never choose another guy over him because he is so fun and even if she does fvck her there are more fish in the sea as the way overused phrase goes.

 

[Vulpine]

People come up to a table with me and a girl, and the first thing I do is hand them an empty bottle or glass and say: "Hey, sure, I'll have another. She'll have an XYZ. Thanks."

Then shut up and watch the fun.

In my world, bussers and waitstaff come up to my table, and they will be treated as such. Start handing people garbage when they come up to your table.

This is equally as fun to do to "suck for a buck" girls and the promotion people, too.

By the way, it works in reverse.

Try going up to a table and asking "How are you guys doin'? Can I get you another drink?" while grabbing their empties. Then, come back with drinks and announce the total. Of course, when they tip lousy, you can proceed to bust their chops. Then, let them off the hook by admitting you aren't actually a waiter.

 

[Warrior74]

.....gonna refrain from commenting.

 

[Vulpine]

Dude, you'd better be one big, strong, intimidating guy with a really sleazy-talented defense lawyer on speed dial, if you expect to pull that stunt successfully.

Confrontation is NOT the way to go in any AMOG situation.

ReeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeaaally?

I agree, you shouldn't TRY to be confrontational about AMOG anything... especially drunk AMOGs.

I suppose, if you went about it like a jerk to TRY to irritate someone, or do something like stare them down with a menacing look... sure, you'd get a :box:

I'm pretty far from intimidating, and, it's been pretty funny when I've done it. You just quickly and matter-of-factually hand them some garbage as if they were part of the wait staff.

Of course, you laugh, and say "Ooops! HaHahah! I thought you were..." to diffuse the situation before it has a chance to escalate. I guess that part is pretty crucial. Maybe the double-take and the look of surprise is crucial, too?

As I've mentioned before, there are several "reflex" or "trained" behaviors that people just automatically do. You point, people look. You hand someone something, they take it. You stop, they stop. You yawn, someone else yawns. You point to the corner of your mouth, the other person tries to brush off whatever might be there. This is exactly like that "reflex" action. Someone comes to your table, you hand them empty bottles and ask for another round.

Do you get in a fight with waiters when they come to your table? Why should you, right? So, why would you get in a fight with a waiter coming to your table? Ooooh, oops, there're not a waiter, hahah!

Well, I don't know how else to explain it if you aren't already understanding how and why it does and has worked. Shame on me for assuming people have some shred of social grace. It's like the whole damn world is a boxing ring.

 

[Sinistar]

It bothered you enough to post AND your girl+friend entertained them long enough to give out digits. Cutting straight to it - she treated you exactly as she would have treated any of her other girlfriends. My guess is that's what's really bothering you - am I right?

Maybe you should have done what typical girlfriends would have done, c0ck blocked the guy part way into his game by covertly invoking her ASD (you know, some vibe like "how can you give out your number to some random drunk guy in a bar").

Kidding aside. I think your best bet (and the one that keeps you moving forward) would have been to simply disregard the AMOG and your friend (temporarily) and get up to go get drinks and then mingle and strike up a convo with one or two women perceived (by your girl+friend) to be a lot hotter than her or the AMOG think's he could approach. Within 10 minutes of working on a HB8 I think all of your concerns would have been behind you. Your girl+friend would have been quite distracted by your behavior (this is good and healthy for her). The AMOG's game would be shutdown due to her indifference. And most important of all - you would have been approaching new women (ie non girl+friends).

Therefore, after he approached, you should have smiled at him (as if you know his agenda), being sure to hold eye contact for just a few seconds; then, if the girl is facing him and is inviting him in the conversation, you should have said to the girl, "I'm going to leave you two alone," and went off to meet other women.

...maybe I read that wrong but it sounds a little bit like going off to pout. Plus you are literally handing him the frame (well, actually he owned it the instant he was confident enough to make the initial approach).

The key to solving the AMOG dilema (and pretty much all dilema's) is remembering the frame - YOU OWN THE FRAME - ALWAYS!!! And nothing works better than humor (by you and at the AMOG's expense demonstrated in front of your girl+friend). I like Vulpine's advice.

I think I would have made fun out of it and disarmed things right away since in the end this whole thing seems more about ego, pride and respect. Something like "Dude that was one pathetic approach. Here, let me buy you a beer we've got work to do " For all you know, this guy might have a HB9 sister you end up meeting the next time out at the bar.

 

[Mr. Me]

There's always been those guys in bars, whether they be AMOGs or just big, lumbering dinosaurs with pea sized brains incognizant of their surroundings, especially given some alcohol, that plant themselves between you and whomever. Talk to your date in front of you, or take the chair you're leaning on, or whatever invasion of private space they do.

Confrontational isn't the answer 'cuz you don't want to take a chance of losing any teeth or getting a crooked nose. No point in making yourself less attractive.

Besides, I don't think it's the guy's task to do anything when another guy approaches your gal. It's her job. If she entertains the dude, she's the wrong gal for me. If she says no thanks and ignores him, so much the better. Me, I stay there with a "yeah, so what?" look on my face. It may bother me on the inside, but I won't show it on the outside. But if she's uncomfortable, we just move over to another spot.

Had a die hard moron keep interjecting himself a few months ago at a bar. Since he wouldn't give up, I just pulled her away.

Another guy I know says what he does is start talking to the guy bombarding him with stuff like, "Hey, that's a nice watch you got! What do you do for a living?" and being pesty like Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon 2.

Though I think Vulpine's wait staff routine is hysterical.

 

[betterthandead]

it's not worth it, it's kinda what you expect at places like that especially one with alcohol, loud music, dark environments. Sleazy one hit wonders will try to weasel their way to a girl.

Personally the bar scene as well as the online dating scene is beneficial to only aggressive jerks/disparate losers and women in general. It's not that I'm a wussy when it comes to dealing with ****heads, it's just that I am in an alien turf, not one where I have control over.

 

[Vulpine]

...

 

[#41]

Always directly engage the AMOG in a friendly way. Shake hands, introduce yourself, and get him talking about himself.

He then has two options -- blow you off in front of the girl and make himself look like a d-bag or engage you in conversation and allow himself to be distracted from his true prize.

The key is to be friendly, funny, and keep yourself as part of the conversation with small talk and questions. Eventually, most annoying AMOGs will move on to other targets that don't have someone else there to take the attention off them.

 

[STR8UP]

I go out with a female friend all the time, and she flirts with other guys in front of me, asking them for a cig and starting a convo, etc.

WTF do I care? I could take her home and fukk her if I wanted to. She mentions it every time we are together. I have no interest in a relationship with her, so what do I care if some dude is hitting on her? My ego is not bruised that easily.

 

[Warrior74]

I go out with a female friend all the time, and she flirts with other guys in front of me, asking them for a cig and starting a convo, etc.

WTF do I care? I could take her home and fukk her if I wanted to. She mentions it every time we are together. I have no interest in a relationship with her, so what do I care if some dude is hitting on her? My ego is not bruised that easily.

EXACTLY. its not an AMOG if you don't care.. You care, just admit it. You got that "secret crush on my friend" thing going on. :crackup:

 

[speed dawg]

EXACTLY. its not an AMOG if you don't care.. You care, just admit it. You got that "secret crush on my friend" thing going on. :crackup:

I think the OP has already outlined that he's pissed because this guy openly challenged him, knowing that he MIGHT be hitting on another guy's girl, and was quite abrasive about it.

Nobody likes to be disrespected. But all you can really do is keep your cool and act like it doesn't bother you.

And there's REALLY nothing you can do if the girl accepts his advances. You'd actually look stupid to pull an AMOG technique on the guy if you didn't care about the girl. Not to mention it would probably piss off the girl.

 

[womann]

I have several ideas ~ the first is rewash the clothes. This seems to work for me most of the time

Other ideas: make a lint brush by wrapping the palm of your hand with sticky tape or duct tape, and using the tape to lift the lint. If neither of these ideas work, you can purchase a battery operated clothes shaver (usually less than $10) that will shave off the nubs and the lint.

 

[STR8UP]

Nobody likes to be disrespected. But all you can really do is keep your cool and act like it doesn't bother you.

If you are out with a woman you "have no interest in" how are you disrespected?

If you had a "claim" on her it would be different. What do you care? What if you were out with a male friend and some chick came up and started talking to your buddy? Would you feel "disrespected"? What difference does it make that she's female if you have no interest?

Neither a chick nor some meathead has that much power over me.

 

[mikeraw]

Again, it's the whole principle of some dude invading my space, my conversation, having had ignored me, people seeing that (especially hotter chicks) and therefore I lose "preselection" or whatever the gurus call it...

I thought of peppering the guy with questions about himself, Mr. Me, but I think that there's a small window of opportunity for that and I missed it because the dude caught me off guard. Again, you're not actually looking out for someone to come talk to a 4/10 and I didn't care about her, so I wasn't looking around for potential competition.

Mr. Me, another thing about the Joe Pesci in LW2 questions is that this can raise his ego, I think, no? It can also make you lose value in front of the chick you're with if you seem too interested, almost subservient, in the guy... But I think that if you make the questions ridiculous enough, this will work. I will definitely have this approach in mind.

Vulpine's solution also sounds great, again, it all depends on the timing, especially if you have an empty bottle in your hand, but I can also see myself exageratingly reaching back to get my half-empty glass and puling this off... I'm a pretty friendly person and everyone likes me at first, so I don't think his first reaction would be to be violent.

Warrior74... I hope you're not serious about me withholding info like like that on this faceless forum. This was my Newton's Apple and I decided to bring this up here for future reference since I have time on my hands right now. And given the whole "When Harry Met Sally Speech", of course I'd like to fark this girl, but truth is that she's physically nothing to write home about.

#41 and Espi... you both have points... I would've engaged this dudee in conversation, but the fact that he approached in such a thoughtless manner left that option off the table. I think next time I'm in a situation like this and I didn't react correctly, I'll just eject myself from the picture. I forgot to mention that this guy was a scavenger, he hit on every girl along the bar that night and mine was the last one he hadnt hit on and then he left... So I could've easily talked to one of the others and even pointed at him while asking them to laugh...

Dang! So many great and sorta obvious replies and I can't believe I drew a total blank... I didn't think of womann's tactic, though. I haven't smoked the good stuff in years, but I'll give that a try next time.

 

[wjh]

I can deal with regular AMOGs, but a challenge I have had is dealing with NPD AMOGs.

 

[DJDamage]

Any ideas or quick one-liners on how to engage or blow out of the water?

First of all, if we have a situation where a man is with his g/f and a guy approaches her and ignores you then lets look at the situation as a whole:

1) The AMOG has enough balls to approach not just a woman but a woman who apprently has a boyfriend with her. This means that he is either drunk or confident enough that he could pick her up in front of her boyfriend. It also means that he thinks he is superior then you in some ways that he is confident enough to pull this. Usually if the chicks b/f looks geeky or he seems alot weaker then the AMOG there is no fear of reprisal.

2) Secondly as soon as the AMOG approaches your girl, two things should immediatly be clear. How tight is your game really? If you have a tight game and your girl is crazy about you, she isn't likely to pay attention to anything this AMOG is telling her (for fear of losing you). Secondly if she appears receptive to his advances then you know that she didn't have high interest in you to begin with and that she is disrespecting you. Remember guys are like sharks, leave the shark alone, its the bait (the girl) that will be the deciding factor in all of this.

3) Thirdly you might be in a situation where a chick might be warming up to you but still not sure about you so if you can shake this AMOG away from her you might score some points. The best way to get rid of an AMOG is to fvck up his game by c0ckblocking his attempt. As soon as he gets her number he wants to get the fvck away from there but don't let him. Shake his hand and say to him so your girl can hear :

"congradulation on getting her number, you must be one heck of a player"

"Do you think she is hot"?

"What makes you different then any other guy she has ever dated"?

"If you are a gentelman at least get the lady a drink before you leave ok buddy?"