How To Deal With Silent Treatment From Gf

soulforge

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Another thing this is controlling.
I bet u already know she is controlling.

My ex played that a bit last year now that i remember she wanted me to sell my house and get one w her i said no move in here and 1 make sure we can live tog and 2 pay off ur debts as u dont have money for a home and she said no she didnt want to live in my house. When i ended things she complained i wouldnt let her move in. Wtf.
No she wasn't controlling, but she was sometimes quite direspectful, and non apologetic..

She had good qualities too, that is why this break up is hard for me.. if u communicated better, and thought about how she spoke to me sometimes, we would have fine.
 

exhausted

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No she wasn't controlling, but she was sometimes quite direspectful, and non apologetic..

She had good qualities too, that is why this break up is hard for me.. if u communicated better, and thought about how she spoke to me sometimes, we would have fine.
Well do what most of us dont do and sit her down and communicate. Have a good attitude and explain the positives and negatives of both places. If she is ****ty u know where she stands
 
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soulforge

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The last I heard from her, was on day of the split..

Got these test messages..

01. How are you feeling?

02. ??

03. Why aren't you answering, why be childish


I have continued to ignore her, but don't want to come across as bieng butt hurt??

But also feel the need for strict no contact.. do i continue no contact???

I need a couple of weeks for my emtions to reside, so i have a clearer picture of the relationship..

I have been thinking about the things i did wrong, i can get quite angry when she really disrespected me, or pushed my buttons too much.

I need to learn how to communicate with anger.. but i also see how rude she was to me, and showed me disrespect on several occasions.
 

El Payaso

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The last I heard from her, was on day of the split..

Got these test messages..

01. How are you feeling?

02. ??

03. Why aren't you answering, why be childish


I have continued to ignore her, but don't want to come across as bieng butt hurt??

But also feel the need for strict no contact.. do i continue no contact???

I need a couple of weeks for my emtions to reside, so i have a clearer picture of the relationship..

I have been thinking about the things i did wrong, i can get quite angry when she really disrespected me, or pushed my buttons too much.

I need to learn how to communicate with anger.. but i also see how rude she was to me, and showed me disrespect on several occasions.
Block her and move on already. Jeez.
 

dude99

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The last I heard from her, was on day of the split..

Got these test messages..

01. How are you feeling?

02. ??

03. Why aren't you answering, why be childish


I have continued to ignore her, but don't want to come across as bieng butt hurt??

But also feel the need for strict no contact.. do i continue no contact???

I need a couple of weeks for my emtions to reside, so i have a clearer picture of the relationship..

I have been thinking about the things i did wrong, i can get quite angry when she really disrespected me, or pushed my buttons too much.

I need to learn how to communicate with anger.. but i also see how rude she was to me, and showed me disrespect on several occasions.
Continue no contact. All she is trying to do is sucker you back in. She knows all she has to do is pretend to be nice for brief stint then you will let your guard down

Again ask yourself, has anything positive ever come out of dealing with this girl.? No.

Respect = relationship. Without respect you have nothing but an emotional and mental bully. She has never respected you. Meaning you mean nothing to her. Do you trash people you respect and or love? No. You treat them how you want to be treated. Do you want to continue being disrespected mocked and hated by someone who is supposed to do the opposition?

No contact. Ignore. Move on.
 

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Von

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Just flat out tell her: ''I have moved on, wish you the best''

than NC

PS: She might blow your phone for 1 day than you'll never hear from her
 

Julian

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shes 48? send that hoe to the retirement home..dud eyour barely our of your 30s...should still be banging 30 year olds..tf? u got mom issues or som?
 

ubercat

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To be honest mate I think you've got bigger issues than the woman. Putting up with disrespect from a 48 year old woman is a very weak frame. And the key sentence to me was where you said it's hard to be on your own.

No it's really not. You are in your forties now. You have to start learning how to be comfortable in your own skin. All the basics of the DJ lifestyle are easy now. Modern tech makes it so.

I suspect when you're alone the problem is that you r alone with all your thoughts. In other words your discursive mind is going wild. You've got an inner life problem not a woman problem.

Do you feel unsettled and anxious when you spend time by yourself?
 

soulforge

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To be honest mate I think you've got bigger issues than the woman. Putting up with disrespect from a 48 year old woman is a very weak frame. And the key sentence to me was where you said it's hard to be on your own.

No it's really not. You are in your forties now. You have to start learning how to be comfortable in your own skin. All the basics of the DJ lifestyle are easy now. Modern tech makes it so.

I suspect when you're alone the problem is that you r alone with all your thoughts. In other words your discursive mind is going wild. You've got an inner life problem not a woman problem.

Do you feel unsettled and anxious when you spend time by yourself?

Its true brah.. i hate being on my own, and i do think alot..

I suppose i end up taking chit, because i fear breaking up and being alone again..

I must not let fear take control of my life... this is why I have to walk away from this woman. Going back will only bring more disrespect and drama in my life.

I
 

ubercat

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Good news is that s a common problem in the modern world. What it actually means is u have a quick brain like a high performance car engine which is over revving. Two suggestions for what u should do straight away.

Google seven eleven breathing. Do that when u feel anxious. That s a quick fix. 2 minutes will help a lot

And join a traditional yoga or martial art style which has a meditation component. So your working on your health and easing into mindfulness which is what u need. And be patient. A couple of months of regular practice and u will notice improvement.
 
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soulforge

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Guys need your support.. most of our fighting started since we moved in together..

Would it be such a bad idea for me to contact her, and suggest to her that we go back to dating long distance again???

The long term prospects with her seem slim, but maybe i am looking for some sliver of hope in all this
 

TheCuckSlayer

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Dude. You JUST moved in together, against the pleading and begging will of everyone here, and you're ALREADY saying:

The long term prospects with her seem slim
Things will NEVER improve after moving in together, they will only get worse. I'd recommend undoing your living arrangement ASAP - it will only get harder from here on out. In fact, it will already be pretty hard to do, and you need to be committed and ready to go full-*******.

She's a 48 year old grown-azz woman, she can take care of herself.
 

ubercat

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You re makung irrational decisions. This relationship is obviously toxic. Get out and start working on yourself a mediately. No pussie is worth your mental health.
 

dude99

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Guys need your support.. most of our fighting started since we moved in together..

Would it be such a bad idea for me to contact her, and suggest to her that we go back to dating long distance again???

The long term prospects with her seem slim, but maybe i am looking for some sliver of hope in all this

Ask yourself a couole of questions.

What positive results have ever come from dating this woman?

If another woman entered your life. One who respected you. One who considered your feelings. One who would actually apologize if need be. One who actually showed you that you mattered, would you still give the ex a second thought?

Dude don't let fear of loneliness trump rational thought. You know your ex will just drag you down again.

Go meet new women
 

soulforge

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Ask yourself a couole of questions.

What positive results have ever come from dating this woman?

If another woman entered your life. One who respected you. One who considered your feelings. One who would actually apologize if need be. One who actually showed you that you mattered, would you still give the ex a second thought?

Dude don't let fear of loneliness trump rational thought. You know your ex will just drag you down again.

Go meet new women

I hear what you are saying.. so she has moved out, and problem is solved..

We got on better when we saw each other long distance.. she is about 50min drive away..

Is trying to revert back to that a bad move?

Here is some of the problems i can see in taking this route..
01. Living together again in the future would be out of the question, as she could drop everything and move back to her house whenever it suited her..

02. Moving to her town is just risky for me, too much to lose, and no chance could i live in her house..

03. If she disrespected me again, and i got angry with her, or called her out.. she could once again accuse me of being agressive, like she has done this time..

04. How long could i carry on seeing her long distance for.. again long distance comes with its own problems too..

I do love her.. enjoy company, the sex is good, i find her attractive..

But the long term prospects with her now, seem not good at all... this woman could drop me at anytime, or vice versa if her behaviour got worse..

Seems like i would be better off with another woman.. who can give me a real future, without all these uncertainties and all this risks ahead of me

As for me.. I have my own problems too.. i,m a pretty patient guy, and don't often loose my cool.. but if someone really pushes me and upsets me.. disrespects me, i find it extremely difficult to let it go.

I really feel the need to say something.. but if the other person is not apologetic and says things to anger or upset me more, then i can get somewhat angry.

I need to chill, and not let people push my buttons..
 
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soulforge

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In this situation would going back to long distance be worth it? Or am i kidding myself.

Does stepping back, taking some time out of the relationship, then trying again really help?
 

bigneil

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This guy wants to move in with a woman just in time for menopause?

And seriously, why do people take selfies with the phone blocking themselves? A girl I know does that and I called her a female douche bag.
 

dude99

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In this situation would going back to long distance be worth it? Or am i kidding myself.

Does stepping back, taking some time out of the relationship, then trying again really help?
I think you are kidding yourself. Meet new women
 

Alpheta

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I hear what you are saying.. so she has moved out, and problem is solved..

We got on better when we saw each other long distance.. she is about 50min drive away..

Is trying to revert back to that a bad move?

Here is some of the problems i can see in taking this route..
01. Living together again in the future would be out of the question, as she could drop everything and move back to her house whenever it suited her..

02. Moving to her town is just risky for me, too much to lose, and no chance could i live in her house..

03. If she disrespected me again, and i got angry with her, or called her out.. she could once again accuse me of being agressive, like she has done this time..

04. How long could i carry on seeing her long distance for.. again long distance comes with its own problems too..

I do love her.. enjoy company, the sex is good, i find her attractive..

But the long term prospects with her now, seem not good at all... this woman could drop me at anytime, or vice versa if her behaviour got worse..

Seems like i would be better off with another woman.. who can give me a real future, without all these uncertainties and all this risks ahead of me

As for me.. I have my own problems too.. i,m a pretty patient guy, and don't often loose my cool.. but if someone really pushes me and upsets me.. disrespects me, i find it extremely difficult to let it go.

I really feel the need to say something.. but if the other person is not apologetic and says things to anger or upset me more, then i can get somewhat angry.

I need to chill, and not let people push my buttons..
You will NEVER find the right girl.

YOU are the problem Every woman will get sick of you.

Fix yourself man, its pathetic.
 
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