How To Deal With Silent Treatment From Gf

[wifehunter]

Isn't this what no contact is?

There a difference between ignoring and walking away. Though, psycholgically, they look the same. One can be used to attempt to devalue a person, the latter is protecting yourself from those who would devalue you.

 

[BraddH]

There a difference between ignoring and walking away. Though, psycholgically, they look the same. One can be used to attempt to devalue a person, the latter is protecting yourself from those who would devalue you.

HMM? And how are you so sure the woman isn't doing the latter?

 

[devilkingx2]

Isn't this what no contact is?

yes but generally no contact is used to get away from a girl rather than to manipulate her psychologically.

the silent treatment would be if you ignored a girl until she begged you to talk to her and/or cried just to get your way over something petty

 

[devilkingx2]

Is there a cold war video game? Hmm, sounds interesting!

i'm positive there are many

 

[devilkingx2]

My two cents is that this is the most useful approach in order to gauge the situation. But you must be prepared to postpone moving in together in my opinion and watch how she behaves.

Do not move her in at this time. If you live in the US you are creating a situation where you CANNOT just order her out. She will establish residency at your place (irregardless of whether or not she is on your lease) and you will not be able to require her to move.

Think long and hard about that. Perhaps a recent experience I have had (as a landlord) may help you see my point: Last summer I had a renter with two children, a divorced man. In a fit of compassion he allowed his crazy ex-wife to move into the house he rents from me. Never put her on the lease etc. Things go sour between my renter and his ex (surprise). Cops are getting called, he wants her OUT of his residence etc. He calls me about it. I call the police about it. Police explain to me that because my renter moved this woman into the house, she now has legal rights as a resident. My renter cannot evict her nor compel her to move; I cannot evict just her, I have to evict ALL residents and the cops are basically playing attorney, judge and jury (which I explained to them and which they did not seem to appreciate my mentioning).

So I called back my renter and explained that the only recourse I had as the landlord in the matter (SINCE THE POLICE HAD TAKEN THE WOMAN'S SIDE WITHOUT ANY DUE PROCESS WHATSOEVER) was to file for eviction of the whole household for lease violation (moving someone in without owner's written authorization) and then I could rent my renter (a 6 year renter who always pays in full on time and has been a great renter other than this little episode) another house across town which was open.

The house in question is a great house right across from the high school where the renter's sons attend. He did not want to have to move. So he worked with his ex-in laws (her parents), his kids (her children) to convince her to move or otherwise her children were going to be displaced from their home of 6 years. She finally relented and agreed to move out and in with her parents (who didn't want her either but also didn't want to see their grandchildren uprooted over something dumb.)

So in the end the crisis was averted after MUCH consternation. My renter has gone back to being a great low profile renter who pays on time and he seems to have learned not to do THAT again.

My point is, don't end up in the position that my renter put himself into. This is a woman who is already trying to control you through these tactics. It WILL get worse, and it might be very difficult to remove her from your abode once you move her in.

Use @Reykhel advice to further evaluate her if you see fit, but put off the cohabitation. I see WAY too many risks to you under the circumstances. If she gives you an ultimatum as a result of you putting off moving her in, that is a huge power play you need to see in advance, and in my opinion worth dumping over.

Do not be blinded by whatever sexual enticements she dangles before you. This is exactly how you end up a beaten down man. Do not become that guy. Good luck with it.

wow holy crap living with a woman seems like a frightening nightmare

 

[mrgoodstuff]

wow holy crap living with a woman seems like a frightening nightmare

Not ALL women. But the "hot women" are not usually "nice"... They like to get all the attention, they like to WIN even if they are wrong. And the love FREEBIES.

I love how our guy was talking about sexual "enticements", well knowing that as soon as she is able to establish residency and have room and board covered that she can take sex off the menu. They do it all the time and screw outside paramours who wouldn't spend a dime on them.

 

[Fireballs]

Don't let her move in lol

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Why are you arguing with a woman? No, why are you arguing with anyone...?

You can stand up for yourself and respect your own point of view without resorting to arguments. She's going to have her little tizzy fit one way or another anyway, so why get yourself riled about it?

Regards the silent treatment, they'll usually get over it if you leave them alone. If they don't, well, like has been said, they've got deeper issues going on that you don't wanna get yourself involved with.

When people get p!ssy with me, I treat them like a toddler having a tantrum; ignore them until they calm down and back down.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Is there a cold war video game? Hmm, sounds interesting!

Mathematics OP is dealing with Hard to Explain Haha. I posted in the tips forum about this called Penny Stocks but using Mafia 3 on a different platform however you can use PS4 to make Forum Lurkers come out. In the pictures below we have one of our very own forum lurkers and became something on Reditt which all DJ's knows not to be on LMFAO

 

[BraddH]

yes but generally no contact is used to get away from a girl rather than to manipulate her psychologically.

the silent treatment would be if you ignored a girl until she begged you to talk to her and/or cried just to get your way over something petty

Man what the fvck. You can't deny that that is what is preached here all over the damn forum?!?!

 

[BraddH]

You're not too intelligent are you

XD

"Go no contact so she will miss you"

"Go no contact to punish her"

"Men want sex, women want attention/love, so go no contact to punish her"

You are doing the same manipulative tricks that you dont want women to use. Wait what?

 

[Poon King]

Isn't this what no contact is?

On contact as a "game" is for queers.

If I go "no contact" with a woman its because I want nothing to do with her. Its not because I'm trying to raise her interest level of manipulate her in some way.

If you need use games like "no contact" in your relationship with someone.. then that relationship is garbage and you are only staying in it because you are desperate and thirsty with no other options.

 

[wifehunter]

HMM? And how are you so sure the woman isn't doing the latter?

Sitational Context, nonverbal indicators, etc.

 

[wifehunter]

XD

"Go no contact so she will miss you"

"Go no contact to punish her"

"Men want sex, women want attention/love, so go no contact to punish her"

You are doing the same manipulative tricks that you dont want women to use. Wait what?

There's another

no contact : reframe/recenter, getting my sh!t together. Because, when your frame has turned to pudding, it's embarassing.

Also:

no contact : need privacy, and thinking space.

The silence of no contact is very conducive to being productive.

Welcome to the bat cave!

 

[MrWiggles]

is this the same 45 year old you were crying about a few months ago?

 

[BraddH]

Sitational Context, nonverbal indicators, etc.

There's another

no contact : reframe/recenter, getting my sh!t together. Because, when your frame has turned to pudding, it's embarassing.

Also:

no contact : need privacy, and thinking space.

The silence of no contact is very conducive to being productive.

Welcome to the bat cave!

The gf of OP's isn't going no contact for the same reasons?

 

[Reykhel]

@BraddH

Silent treatment.......You're usually in some form of relationship with the person (could be a relative, could be a lover)

No contact.............The relationship is over...........You have nothing left with that person

Motives: The silent treatment is used to punish and control (the perpetrator wants to create a really bad atmosphere......this could be someone who is living in your house)

Motives: The no contact rule is used FOR YOU TO RECOVER FROM A BREAKUP IN A HEALTHY MANNER........

In the case of the op......HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND SHE IS PERFORMING THE SILENT TREATMENT IN HIS HOUSE.....

Surely you can see the difference

 

[resilient]

There's another

no contact : reframe/recenter, getting my sh!t together. Because, when your frame has turned to pudding, it's embarassing.

Also:

no contact : need privacy, and thinking space.

The silence of no contact is very conducive to being productive.

Welcome to the bat cave!

Even better if the DJ is too busy spinning plates to even entertain a thought about an old plate. I do agree that NC can be productive when all thoughts are shut out and the DJ focus on inner game, goals, business prospects, plates, hobbies, reading, etc.

 

[devilkingx2]

Not ALL women. But the "hot women" are not usually "nice"... They like to get all the attention, they like to WIN even if they are wrong. And the love FREEBIES.

I love how our guy was talking about sexual "enticements", well knowing that as soon as she is able to establish residency and have room and board covered that she can take sex off the menu. They do it all the time and screw outside paramours who wouldn't spend a dime on them.

this is why i'd tell any man to be wary of a girl who doesn't love sex all on her own.

better to be with a girl who's too easy than one who's only ****ing you for personal gain.

Man what the fvck. You can't deny that that is what is preached here all over the damn forum?!?!

on the forum usually people say to go NC when you're never supposed to speak to the girl again.

going ghost is different, going ghost means don't talk to her until she hits you up all on her own

neither is the silent treatment, NC is done with the intent of being done with them forever, going ghost is being done with the intent to wait for them to choose to come back to you(usually as proof of interest), the silent treatment is done to punish and manipulate

XD

"Go no contact so she will miss you"

"Go no contact to punish her"

"Men want sex, women want attention/love, so go no contact to punish her"

You are doing the same manipulative tricks that you dont want women to use. Wait what?

most people don't say those things. most people say that NC is only for when you're never talking to her again.

The gf of OP's isn't going no contact for the same reasons?

probably not unless she reads the manosphere and thinks herself a DJ

 

[guru1000]

You lose most of your power in cohabitation simply by virtue of your inability to walk away.

Bad attitude. Deal with it.
Disrespect. Deal with it.
Girl nights out every night. Deal with it.
Gargling on some guy's ... Deal with it.

Absolutely no purpose in cohabitation outside of child rearing.

Is this the 40+ yo? Maybe this is best as the end of this relation was long overdue. The countdown begins. Keep us posted ... and start looking for another place.