How to be a Challenge Without Driving Women Away?

[Kotaix]

Lol oh? Teasing a girl is being a feminist now? That’s a new one

Do you take everything literally?

You saying "I'm not your dog" doesn't sound like teasing. At all. It just sounds like you getting butthurt over what she said. I wouldn't engage with you after that if I were her either.

Literally barking would have been a better response than the one you gave. At least it would have been moderately funny.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Do you take everything literally?

You saying "I'm not your dog" doesn't sound like teasing. At all. It just sounds like you getting butthurt over what she said. I wouldn't engage with you after that if I were her either.

Literally barking would have been a better response than the one you gave. At least it would have been moderately funny.

Well then feel free to cease “engaging” with me. I was obviously talking about the first teasing rebuttal I did and she responded in a way that showed she didn’t realize I was teasing her. At that point I had to put my foot down. At least I’m not a simp

 

[Velasco]

I was obviously talking about the first teasing rebuttal I did and she responded in a way that showed she didn’t realize I was teasing her

Even if you included an emoji at the end it's not even funny. And sounds like an incomplete sentence.

Damn girl we haven't even gone out yet and your already calling me sweetheart? Shiiiit, I knew I was charming but not that charming *smirking emoji*

 

[DonJuanjr]

Damn girl we haven't even gone out yet and your already calling me sweetheart? Shiiiit, I knew I was charming but not that charming *smirking emoji*

While this would have been even better than my suggestion of just an emoji, he isn't going to speak in a way that is not congruent with how he thinks. The simple emoji at the end could have prevented the outcome regardless of humor factor. Being playful doesn't mean he has to be funny

 

[Kotaix]

Well then feel free to cease “engaging” with me. I was obviously talking about the first teasing rebuttal I did and she responded in a way that showed she didn’t realize I was teasing her. At that point I had to put my foot down. At least I’m not a simp

That's a fair point, I was focusing on the wrong bit of the interaction.

I can def agree that her response was crap and condescending and I would have probably stopped talking to her at that point too... but you do need to remember that straight "text game" has no context whatsoever other than words. The risk of misunderstanding is very high when just words are involved. If you had added a winky emoticon or something to let her know you're joking she might have got it.

You can't be a challenge to women if you're striking them all out before they can even get to first base. Challenge only works once a woman gets to know you to at least some degree.

 

[Velasco]

I can def agree that her response was crap and condescending and I would have probably stopped talking to her at that point too..

If I'd gotten her second response, I'd tease her about not understanding sarcasm like:

Note to self: Melissa doesn't speak sarcasm....

I have a friend who whenever a girl takes his texts too literally will be like, "note to self: maria doesn't know how to flirt..."

 

[SargeMaximus]

That's a fair point, I was focusing on the wrong bit of the interaction.

I can def agree that her response was crap and condescending and I would have probably stopped talking to her at that point too... but you do need to remember that straight "text game" has no context whatsoever other than words. The risk of misunderstanding is very high when just words are involved. If you had added a winky emoticon or something to let her know you're joking she might have got it.

You can't be a challenge to women if you're striking them all out before they can even get to first base. Challenge only works once a woman gets to know you to at least some degree.

I understand, thanks for clarifying. I guess I was eager to implement it but she did provide me with good ammo. And yeah I guess I’ll stick with emoticons to make my meanings clear but I’ve also heard that too many of those can come off as beta too

 

[2Rocky]

quit taking yourself so serious. Add some self deprecation to your skillset.

Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User’s Guide to Humor at Work

Humor is widely considered essential in personal relationships, but in leaders, it’s seen as an ancillary behavior. Though some leaders use humor instinctively, many more could wield it purposefully. Humor helps build interpersonal trust and high-quality work relationships and influences...

hbr.org

 

[SargeMaximus]

quit taking yourself so serious. Add some self deprecation to your skillset.

Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User’s Guide to Humor at Work

Humor is widely considered essential in personal relationships, but in leaders, it’s seen as an ancillary behavior. Though some leaders use humor instinctively, many more could wield it purposefully. Humor helps build interpersonal trust and high-quality work relationships and influences...

hbr.org

Self deprecation is beta according to the pua stuff I read

 

[Striker_93]

Since nobody else is saying it, let me be the first to tell you what your problem is, it's the same problem 97% guys on this forum have.

Your to busy trying to be "Alpha" or "hard to get"
"Not look like a simp"

That's your problem, your not being natural, your so busy worrying about not looking like a simp that your looking even worse......

The red pill and pick up in general is more bad than good for most men because they start trying 2 hard and mentally masturbating to the point that it's damn near impossible to come off attractive to women.

Your trying to put out this false persona(and it's definitely false because your here asking for advice on what your doing) your being something your not, don't worry about being a challenge, you guys make this more complicated than it needs to be, just engage with women bruh.

Learn to have some charm to you and get rid of that fake wannabe alpha or whatever your tryna express to women,

Stop worrying about gaming women or acting a certain way to attract them and just engage with them, your suppose to be fun and exciting to be around, make them feel good, charm them......

Women don't fvck guys who act the way you do, they will just think your weird, meanwhile your sitting around thinking to yourself
"Yeah I showed her, I'm no simp" lol

Being a challenge is not something that needs to be taught or thought about lol it's natural.

Just focus on yourself first and your good.
I'm not going to give you tips because your just going to overthink it......

The girl I'm currently dating now thinks I'm a challenge because I dont text her back fast enough and often leave her hanging mid text conversation, but it's not some game I'm playing lol I just suck at texting and I'm busy doing other sh!t.

Sometimes I go weeks without fvcking her or hanging with her, why? Because I'm a introvert and don't always feel like other people's company, I turn down invitations to bang from her all the time simply because I just don't feel like being bothered at the time, I guess she takes it as a challenge, it's not something I consciously think about.

You need to chill brotha and just relax and act fvcking normal.

 

[Striker_93]

Self deprecation is beta according to the pua stuff I read

This is your exact problem lol
You take this pua sh!t way to seriously bruh

 

[SargeMaximus]

This is your exact problem lol
You take this pua sh!t way to seriously bruh

I disagree. One of the things that made me thing I would be so great at pua when I first started was that I am naturally like this. So I figured I’d be a natural. If you’re telling me I need to “loosen up” and “stop caring about alpha beta” you’re telling me to be something I’m not. I’m obsessed with the alpha beta dynamics because I can see them and use them in sales naturally. For some reason it doesn’t translate to pua but it’s not me forcing anything. I’m a natural at sales and always been super stoic.

As for texting, I naturally get back to people immediately who text me so now what? Act alpha and purposefully let them hang?

you guys are hilarious

 

[Striker_93]

I disagree. One of the things that made me thing I would be so great at pua when I first started was that I am naturally like this. So I figured I’d be a natural. If you’re telling me I need to “loosen up” and “stop caring about alpha beta” you’re telling me to be something I’m not. I’m obsessed with the alpha beta dynamics because I can see them and use them in sales naturally. For some reason it doesn’t translate to pua but it’s not me forcing anything. I’m a natural at sales and always been super stoic.

As for texting, I naturally get back to people immediately who text me so now what? Act alpha and purposefully let them hang?

you guys are hilarious

Ok big guy, you got it all figured out. Take care.

 

[SargeMaximus]

It amazes me how you guys criticize me for doing the same thing that doesn’t work and then suggest I do the same thing that I’ve proven for years doesn’t work. We need new content

 

[logicallefty]

Dude you’re not even reading what I say. I’m not a yes man in the slightest wtf.

“Not being a challenge” and “Being a yes man” are often one of the same. If they are not one in the same with you, then what makes you think you aren’t being enough of a challenge?

 

[SargeMaximus]

“Not being a challenge” and “Being a yes man” are often one of the same. If they are not one in the same with you, then what makes you think you aren’t being enough of a challenge?

Well I lm quite agreeable when things don’t matter to me. But I’m not a pushover when things do.

 

[user252009]

I looked. That's really bad.

You're not being challenging, you're actively looking to be offended and instigating conflict. You sound just like a feminist.

Agree. Serge, I’m a similar character, serious, but your baseline seems to more towards the “unfriendly” side rather the “neutral” one. If she wants to take the relationship further (by saying sweetheart etc), let her - she WANTS to be invested in you and have you around, but by replying stuff like you did, you are telling her the opposite.

 

[SexManiac]

Well I lm quite agreeable when things don’t matter to me. But I’m not a pushover when things do.

Technically you teased in the wrong context
Being a challenge requires the right moment and context to do it. It is not that you don't know how to be a challenge and the pua community is full of those contents but seriously lacks contents about "when" to be a challenge. Unfortunately you have to learn that by your own, in the field. Your tease was witty but contextually wrong. You didn't calibrate the girl because your move wasn't to throw a tease, instead Disqualification or other attraction tools would Have worked better

 

[SargeMaximus]

Agree. Serge, I’m a similar character, serious, but your baseline seems to more towards the “unfriendly” side rather the “neutral” one. If she wants to take the relationship further (by saying sweetheart etc), let her - she WANTS to be invested in you and have you around, but by replying stuff like you did, you are telling her the opposite.

That’s a good point. Guess I was too eager to do the “be a challenge” thing

 

[Dr.Suave]

I read on here recently that you gotta be a challenge to women. But that’s kind of been my thing since childhood to play devil’s advocate and always question people and such. But ime it just isolates you and makes people and women avoid you so obviously I’m doing it wrong. What’s the correct way?

Have abundance mindset and/or be outcome indifferent. You will start to give off a certain vibe to potential plates, they will perceive u as a challenge.