Vice
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Messages
- 2,006
- Reaction score
- 186
I've been reviewing David DeAngelo's Advanced Series program again, and he mentioned how to deal with flakes. I've noticed that many users on this forum are butthurt when a girl flakes, and I see stuff like "Don't reward flaky behavior with another offer" all the time. It's counterproductive.
When you're dealing with random people, you're dealing with random life situations. That means that some of these flakes may be legitimate. And having ANY kind of negative reaction is just WEIRD. Imagine you met a cool dude you want to hang out with, and he flaked on the last minute when you two were supposed to hang out to talk about business and stuff. Would you text him something like "I don't tolerate flaky behavior. It's unacceptable."?
NOPE. Because that's WEIRD.
So how do you avoid flaking? Besides the obvious concept of offering more value and making her invest more time into you, the answer is simple: don't make plans too far in advance. And when you do, make them tentative. That way, you have an opportunity to flake on HER if you get a better social opportunity.
In this manner, you're also playing the game the same way women do. Have you ever seen women try to plan something? It's a trainwreck. Do NOT hold them to the same standards you would men.
So, make tentative plans, and that way there's less social pressure and more spontaneity. And obviously we all know better than taking girls out to dinner and or movies.
Finally, if you want to hang out with a woman, call her up and have her come out to meet you when YOU have free time THAT DAY. Call her up and go do some errands together. I invited a girl to a coffee shop to hang out with me while I paid my bills. It doesn't have to be anything "spectacular". It's very low pressure, and you can EASILY bounce to another venue if you can tell the girl is into you. Bounce to an art gallery, weird clothing store, ANYTHING mildly interesting (and free).
When you're dealing with random people, you're dealing with random life situations. That means that some of these flakes may be legitimate. And having ANY kind of negative reaction is just WEIRD. Imagine you met a cool dude you want to hang out with, and he flaked on the last minute when you two were supposed to hang out to talk about business and stuff. Would you text him something like "I don't tolerate flaky behavior. It's unacceptable."?
NOPE. Because that's WEIRD.
So how do you avoid flaking? Besides the obvious concept of offering more value and making her invest more time into you, the answer is simple: don't make plans too far in advance. And when you do, make them tentative. That way, you have an opportunity to flake on HER if you get a better social opportunity.
In this manner, you're also playing the game the same way women do. Have you ever seen women try to plan something? It's a trainwreck. Do NOT hold them to the same standards you would men.
So, make tentative plans, and that way there's less social pressure and more spontaneity. And obviously we all know better than taking girls out to dinner and or movies.
Finally, if you want to hang out with a woman, call her up and have her come out to meet you when YOU have free time THAT DAY. Call her up and go do some errands together. I invited a girl to a coffee shop to hang out with me while I paid my bills. It doesn't have to be anything "spectacular". It's very low pressure, and you can EASILY bounce to another venue if you can tell the girl is into you. Bounce to an art gallery, weird clothing store, ANYTHING mildly interesting (and free).