How To Avoid Flakes

[Vice]

I've been reviewing David DeAngelo's Advanced Series program again, and he mentioned how to deal with flakes. I've noticed that many users on this forum are butthurt when a girl flakes, and I see stuff like "Don't reward flaky behavior with another offer" all the time. It's counterproductive.

When you're dealing with random people, you're dealing with random life situations. That means that some of these flakes may be legitimate. And having ANY kind of negative reaction is just WEIRD. Imagine you met a cool dude you want to hang out with, and he flaked on the last minute when you two were supposed to hang out to talk about business and stuff. Would you text him something like "I don't tolerate flaky behavior. It's unacceptable."?

NOPE. Because that's WEIRD.

So how do you avoid flaking? Besides the obvious concept of offering more value and making her invest more time into you, the answer is simple: don't make plans too far in advance. And when you do, make them tentative. That way, you have an opportunity to flake on HER if you get a better social opportunity.

In this manner, you're also playing the game the same way women do. Have you ever seen women try to plan something? It's a trainwreck. Do NOT hold them to the same standards you would men.

So, make tentative plans, and that way there's less social pressure and more spontaneity. And obviously we all know better than taking girls out to dinner and or movies.

Finally, if you want to hang out with a woman, call her up and have her come out to meet you when YOU have free time THAT DAY. Call her up and go do some errands together. I invited a girl to a coffee shop to hang out with me while I paid my bills. It doesn't have to be anything "spectacular". It's very low pressure, and you can EASILY bounce to another venue if you can tell the girl is into you. Bounce to an art gallery, weird clothing store, ANYTHING mildly interesting (and free).

 

[sylvester the cat]

I have flaked on women in order to see how high their interest was.

 

[DragonBlood]

I have flaked on women in order to see how high their interest was.

Not sure that works as flaking on a women with low interest almost always spikes interest. For a while.

But with women who are already high interest they would actually take that more personally. Kind of like we do when we are flaked and go nc.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Not sure that works as flaking on a women with low interest almost always spikes interest. For a while.

But with women who are already high interest they would actually take that more personally. Kind of like we do when we are flaked and go nc.

If flaking creates high interest in a woman with low interest then all the better, yes?

If flaking creates low interest in a woman with high interest then she couldn't have been all that interested, no?

 

[PlayHer Man]

If flaking creates high interest in a woman with low interest then all the better, yes?

If flaking creates low interest in a woman with high interest then she couldn't have been all that interested, no?

CORRECT.

If a woman's interest level goes from sky high to dirt low based on you flaking.. then her interest level was never high. What is more likely is she saw you as an ego-boosting, validation-giving, pandering beta she could control and exploit. Flaking shows her you are anything but that.

Douche bag behavior and flaking will never lower a woman's interest level unless she is looking for a beta faggot who will worship the ground she walks on. These are the women who are "done with bad boys" (aka the c0ck carousel) and seeking a passive beta faggot who will do everything on HER terms. F*ck that noise.

One of the biggest challenges of becoming a good DJ is learning the different between "losing a woman" and saving yourself from a c*nt.

 

[skinnyguy]

It's just so hard to find women who have high interest when you barely know them. The only way this would happen is if u were a celebrity or something. Women have so many options that they don't have high interest for random dudes when they can get whatever they want.

 

[:-)]

It's just so hard to find women who have high interest when you barely know them. The only way this would happen is if u were a celebrity or something. Women have so many options that they don't have high interest for random dudes when they can get whatever they want.

My interest is usually highest when I don't know the woman. When she is a 'mystery' to me. The more I get to know her, the more my interest dwindles.

 

[Hexagram]

CORRECT.
One of the biggest challenges of becoming a good DJ is learning the different between "losing a woman" and saving yourself from a c*nt.

Amen

 

[PlayHer Man]

It's just so hard to find women who have high interest when you barely know them. The only way this would happen is if u were a celebrity or something. Women have so many options that they don't have high interest for random dudes when they can get whatever they want.

Speak for yourself.

 

[Tictac]

Never been an issue for me.

I wish I knew why.

I could make a bundle.

 

[Iceberg]

I have flaked on women in order to see how high their interest was.

Hey, if it works it works. But for me...the amount of energy spent playing mental games with these girls could be better invested in me finding new girls and/or doing other things. I'm not much of a believer in the whole "game-playing" thing. I'm not naive....there's always a bit of back-and-forth in male/female dynamics. But if I gotta use tricks like that to keep a girl, then it's doomed from the beginning.

It's just so hard to find women who have high interest when you barely know them. The only way this would happen is if u were a celebrity or something. Women have so many options that they don't have high interest for random dudes when they can get whatever they want.

You're overestimating a woman's day-to-day life.

Sure, a pretty girl can walk around town and 90% of the guys want to bang her. But the amount of guys that she is interested in is considerably lower.

A woman's option doesn't equate to "Guy who wants to bang me." It's "a guy who I want to bang." And when a girl encounters one of those guys, yes, her interest actually CAN be high.

You're assuming that your negative experiences with women are a reflection on ALL guys' experiences with women. Not the case.

 

[Vice]

There are different kinds of flakes.....


There are the kind who wait until the last minute. I never before called her out on it. But I never bothered to ask them out again. I just go back to normal game mode and tease them, until they ask me out. But, then I just brush it off until they keep at it and keep at it.

Then there are the flakes that don't respond at all until the next day. Those are immediate "nexts".

This is why you call them up when you're available and have them hang out the same day. That way you cut out the opportunity for them to flake last minute; because it IS the last minute!

 

[sylvester the cat]

Hey, if it works it works. But for me...the amount of energy spent playing mental games with these girls could be better invested in me finding new girls and/or doing other things. I'm not much of a believer in the whole "game-playing" thing. I'm not naive....there's always a bit of back-and-forth in male/female dynamics. But if I gotta use tricks like that to keep a girl, then it's doomed from the beginning.

You don't believe in 'game-playing'???? on a forum dedicated to 'game'?

it doesn't take a lot of energy to flake on a girl. it's not used to keep a girl. just to determine her initial interest.

 

[Iceberg]

You don't believe in 'game-playing'???? on a forum dedicated to 'game'?

it doesn't take a lot of energy to flake on a girl. it's not used to keep a girl. just to determine her initial interest.

Game = knowing how to socialize with women (and people in general), developing interesting hobbies/qualities about yourself, dressing well, and staying in shape.

Flaking on a girl to "test her interest" = game PLAYING.

I'm not gonna take time to schedule a date with a chick, THEN flake out on her just to see if she's interested, and THEN reschedule. I'd assume that there's interest when she agreed to go on the date in the first place. As far as HOW MUCH interest, I mean...I'm no genius...but I assume that's what the date is for. To establish/build interest.

Christ, man. I'm 30. Between work, and hobbies, and life, I don't have time to be scheduling dates that I intend on flaking just to test a girl's interest.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Game = knowing how to socialize with women (and people in general), developing interesting hobbies/qualities about yourself, dressing well, and staying in shape.

Flaking on a girl to "test her interest" = game PLAYING.
.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg-zT3DZN40

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC a flake is a flake and has no interest. Same with a blur (She stops answering your phone and texts even though she was initially interested.)

They get dropped immediately. We really need to enforce a ONE strike rule instead of TWO strikes. Cuts female game considerably.

 

[Vice]

Game = knowing how to socialize with women (and people in general), developing interesting hobbies/qualities about yourself, dressing well, and staying in shape.

Flaking on a girl to "test her interest" = game PLAYING.

I'm not gonna take time to schedule a date with a chick, THEN flake out on her just to see if she's interested, and THEN reschedule. I'd assume that there's interest when she agreed to go on the date in the first place. As far as HOW MUCH interest, I mean...I'm no genius...but I assume that's what the date is for. To establish/build interest.

Christ, man. I'm 30. Between work, and hobbies, and life, I don't have time to be scheduling dates that I intend on flaking just to test a girl's interest.

Exactly, Iceberg. There's a subtle difference between game and playing games.

My OP was about how to avoid flakes and some of you guys hijacked the thread and turned it into a bad advice column.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Exactly, Iceberg. There's a subtle difference between game and playing games.

My OP was about how to avoid flakes and some of you guys hijacked the thread and turned it into a bad advice column.

lol. hijacked. :crackup:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA1hyqA6UTY

ok OP. a fine line between game and playing games.. gotcha.