How to answer if a girl ask "Are you interested in me?"

[Young Juan]

I agree with SuavePlayer. I'm not saying I think everyone is a KBJ here, not at all, but lots of people's advice seems very text book and almost seems like the person giving advice has never been in a situation remotely similar.

I mean OK, reframing it is all well and good, but she requested to talk to him and then landed a serious question on him. Just answer the question, you don't always have to be playing games. I mean,

Her: are you interested in me
You: hmm I don't know, I like interesting people, are u interesting?

I mean come on...what the fook. You've already landed her to some extent, wishy washy "being mysterious" lines are BS in this situation.

If she's asking this question, IMO, answering the question is probably the best way to go, since it's largely too late for turning things round.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying once you land the girl you should completely 180? Wouldn't that be a bit inconsistent and dare I say confusing?

I mean, if one's swagger and what she perceived one's personality to be pulled her, then why should one change to keep her?

"Her: are you interested in me
You: hmm I don't know, I like interesting people, are u interesting?"

Let's try this again.

Her: Are you interested in me?
Me: I haven't decided yet, why should I be?

She puts you on the spot expecting you to squirm as 9/10 guys will. I simply refuse to answer such questions directly and segue into another topic. Believe me, I learned from experience answering that question in the same manner that dude did and wondering why I was getting the same results. In my humble opinion, it's simply a matter of keeping cool and controlling the conversation.

I responded (past tense) verbatim:

Her: I didn't think you'd hit me up
Me: Why's that?
Her: Cuz I wasn't sure if you were interested in me...
Me: I'm interested in interesting people. I barely know anything about you but I'm curious. You goin to any holiday parties?

And that was the extent of discussion on that topic.

Another example of a serious question and how I answer them?

(after asking her for pics of her in lingerie w/ matching pumps on)

Her: My pumps always match.....do u think ur deserving of those kind of pics?
Me: I don't see why I wouldn't be (vs. Yes, I deserve them because...)
Her: That is to be determined... (she's trying to take control/my frame here)
Me: Its already determined, you just don't know it yet... (chick please, I'm the man round here)
Her: Interesting.......so, answer me this....are u looking/wanting a friend with benefits...or more? (the most serious question)
Me: I'm not lookin for anything specific other than good times, no drama, and a friend that understands that the benefits benefit all parties involved. U? (as close as you're gonna get to a direct answer)
Her: Well, I'm not looking for specifics...

That was Sunday the 14th...this morning I get I get a text, "I think I kinda like you Young Juan..." except she used my full gov't name.

What more can I say?

 

[Alphamale1821]

sounds like a **** test to me but regardless i would say:

chick: r u interested in me?
Me: well if you have to ask...no lol(if it was in person i would say that a sly smile

 

[yeah!]

After a few days of reflection, I have come to a conclusion that I would like to share with you all.

These are the factors which I thought may have contributed to the outcome.

1) We didn't get to see each other often enough as it was an LDR (she was one hour away by flight). There was no foundation to start with as we just met. Although we had great connection at first, the distance simply does not allow us to meet as often as we wanted to.

2) I thought I was a pretty confident person. I can attract girls locally most of the time. Due to the nature of LDR, I didn't expect myself to overanalyse every little message she sent etc. I was seeking validation. I realised I am actually not as confident as I thought.

3) When we met, I was always asking questions to establish commonalities, and I probably come off as needy and unconfident as well.

4) I was putting her at a pedestal. Objectively speaking, she is the girl who satisfy the most criteria I set. And I let that go into my head. I ignored the red flags that was presented to me. She was getting more quiet towards the last few outings and was answering questions with a few words.

It was over before she asked that question and I doubt anything I answered would have made a big difference in the outcome. Maybe it would have prolonged it for a while but it would have failed anyway. I made the post to share my experience with everyone so that if you are in a similar situation maybe you can turn the tide(provided you are dealing with a local girl).

I have been rejected before, but this one somehow hurts more than the others. Perhaps it showed all my weaknesses which I thought I had eradicated long time ago. Perhaps this was a girl who had fit the most criteria that I had set(other than LDR) and I am afraid I can't find another better girl.

I hope you all can give me some constructive criticism which I need and hopefully I can snap out of this quickly.

Thanks a lot guys.

 

[AAAgent]

you, if its something serious don't let her tell u over the internet or phone. tell her u'll talk about it when u see her. then when it comes up read her eye/body language and take it from there. usually its not good to let the girl know she's got you until you've got her.