How to answer if a girl ask "Are you interested in me?"

[DonJuan11]

I am still learning so please go easy on me.

A girl whom I have been going out with wanted to talk to me via IM today. She said she had something serious to tell me. After some greetings she asked me straight up if I am interested in her. I just told her 'I just wanna know you better but respect her for being so direct so yes' and promptly got the LJBF line.

From my interactions with her before this conversation online, I already knew she had plummeting interest so this LJBF line was inevitable. In fact I was expecting it.

Is there any way to salvage the situation during the IM conversation or is it inevitable in view of the plummeting interest?

Thanks

Screw her. She asked you a serious question and you gave the best answer possible. If she LJBF's after that, the quality girl you are dealing with is very low.

I know its hard, but I wouldn't respond. Her answer is so ridiculous it pisses me off.

 

[horaholic]

It wouldnt have mattered how you answered. There are THREE reasons a girl would ask that.

1. They are interested in you, and want you to make a move.
2. They arent interested in you, but want your attention.
3. They know you're interested, but aren't interested back, so they make you bring up the subject so they have an ljbf excuse.

The general rule of thumb, is to keep her guessing a little bit, about everything. The first or second time they ask, c+f , but if they ask a third time, its time to be serious. Thats what some here say.

 

[Asteconn]

Reply with a question:

"Why are you asking?"

"Are you interested in me?"

"Is today Wednesday?"

 

[tucking fypo]

Girl: are you intersted in me?
You: I don't know do you like anal
Girl: WTF ewwww no
You: well in that case, peace!

 

[daygameguy]

Girl: are you intersted in me?
You: I don't know do you like anal
Girl: WTF ewwww no
You: well in that case, peace!

Well your c&f advice is ok, but doesn't fit the situation.

I think you were LJBFed first, and then got invited for that IM chat. You should have sensed something when she said "I have something serious to tell you".

By the way, you were too respectful and nice. Whenever you sense that you CAN be LJBFed, you BREAK RAPPORT and PUT HER IN THE LJBF frame. Tell her you cannot handle more than 2-3 open relationships at a time, so she should remain as friends untill something develops naturally.

YOU create the LJBF zone for HER. That way you are always in a win-win situation.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

Her: "Are you interested in me?"
You: "Well that all depends on whether your getting a boob job or not"

guaranteed to offend her, but she already offended you with such a question setting up a LJBF like that. F*ck her... move on to the next.

 

[MisterMcGee]

I jokingly called a not-fat girl fat today, indirectly of course (her shirt ripped, i said it's cause of the extra pounds (which she told me she wants to lose earlier in the day)).

Moral of the story: funny **** is funny

 

[yeah!]

Once again, thanks.

Well your c&f advice is ok, but doesn't fit the situation.

I think you were LJBFed first, and then got invited for that IM chat. You should have sensed something when she said "I have something serious to tell you".

I concur. Like I said, I was expecting it already.

By the way, you were too respectful and nice. Whenever you sense that you CAN be LJBFed, you BREAK RAPPORT and PUT HER IN THE LJBF frame. Tell her you cannot handle more than 2-3 open relationships at a time, so she should remain as friends untill something develops naturally.

YOU create the LJBF zone for HER. That way you are always in a win-win situation.

Actually, when a gal LJBF someone, more often than not there isn't any way to salvage the situation right?. Reversing it on her for a win-win situation like what you said is merely an ego trip for the guy isn't it?

 

[Igetit!]

Actually, when a gal LJBF someone, more often than not there isn't any way to salvage the situation right?. Reversing it on her for a win-win situation like what you said is merely an ego trip for the guy isn't it?

You can't reverse a LJBF situation from a girl. More than likely,whenever a girl pulls the LJBF card,it's because she knows you or think she knows you,and the YOU she think she knows,she's not attracted to. You can't reverse it,especially if you've known her for a long period of time.

In order to reverse it,you'd have to somehow change your behavior,but if you do this,you'll come off as being incongruent. Not to mention she'll think the new behavior is you being fake.

 

[daygameguy]

Once again, thanks.



I concur. Like I said, I was expecting it already.



Actually, when a gal LJBF someone, more often than not there isn't any way to salvage the situation right?. Reversing it on her for a win-win situation like what you said is merely an ego trip for the guy isn't it?

I was talking about BEFORE getting LJBFed. Just as you start sensing her IL plummeting, you reverse roles and take the frame under your control, LJBF her, but be ****y about it, let her know about other girls taking up your time.

REMEMBER THIS:

ALMOST ALL PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN CAN BE SOLVED WITH AN ABUNDANCE MINDSET, AND ITS BEST AND MOST CONGRUENT TO ACTUALLY DEVELOP A LIFE WITH MANY GIRLS AROUND YOU, FEMALE FRIENDS OR INTIMATE GIRLFRIENDS, DOESN'T MATTER.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

How do you actually develop a mindset? Isn't that impossible and it can only happen naturally and not from reading crap online? Explain to me how I develop a mindset.

Taking advice on the mindset you need and then thinking/ pretending as if this were your mindset. Then go out in the real world and apply it. This can only happen through experience. Even though you may know the mindset you want, it will take years before it becomes a reality.

 

[Young Juan]

My standard lines = "I haven't decided yet" & "I'm interested in interesting people"

I used the latter on last Tuesday, boned last night. I was asked via text message by a girl I'd met Monday and never even went out with till Friday. Indirect, I as the decider/chooser, never answered any questions with a serious answer.

Basically, when I get these type of questions I think to myself: she don't really wanna know the answer to this question, so let me be sure to give her the most indirect, least serious answer possible.

 

[daygameguy]

Its best to change the frame.

Questions like these are meant to qualify you and your intentions.

Why don't you say - "Tell me 3 reasons why I should be interested in you"

Complete change of frame, she cannot LJBF you, she feels you must have higher value, you've fvcked with her natural thought process, and now she'll stick around.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

Its best to change the frame.

Questions like these are meant to qualify you and your intentions.

Why don't you say - "Tell me 3 reasons why I should be interested in you"

Complete change of frame, she cannot LJBF you, she feels you must have higher value, you've fvcked with her natural thought process, and now she'll stick around.

Oooh I like that.

 

[decadentdestruction]

Oooh I like that.

good one ...

 

[Mr Autobahn]

But I kind of respect her as she told me straight not to waste time and money flying in and out pursuing something which is unlikely to progress. I guess we all learn from this.[/quote

I'm glad to hear this from you. It shows maturity. And also, it seems you know what you were doing to cause her to LJBF you... Take that out and try again...

 

[nismo-4]

IMO, saying yes would've been the best answer.

TTTT, saying yes would instantly land your ass in the friendzone.

 

[SuavePlaya]

I do not see how C & F would work you already landed the girl. What are you trying to achieve by still acting C & F. It's like making a deal and after you have sealed the deal you are still trying to convince them why they should choose you. I agree when you guys are just hanging out and stuff be C & F crack jokes do whatever it is that you do. When a chick is telling you her emotions and that shes interested in you, she doesn't want to hear that C& F sh1t.

 

[HollowHorizon]

I.M's ?? AWSOME!! USe tons of smileys i mean alot !!!!!! USE LOTS OF LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL's !!! Appear to be Upbeat .. On I.m Joke around alot in approporitate ways... Make it so you have fun doing anything even a I.m Convo... KEep on her her feet.... GET EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[shaunuk]

I agree with SuavePlayer. I'm not saying I think everyone is a KBJ here, not at all, but lots of people's advice seems very text book and almost seems like the person giving advice has never been in a situation remotely similar.

I mean OK, reframing it is all well and good, but she requested to talk to him and then landed a serious question on him. Just answer the question, you don't always have to be playing games. I mean,

Her: are you interested in me
You: hmm I don't know, I like interesting people, are u interesting?

I mean come on...what the fook. You've already landed her to some extent, wishy washy "being mysterious" lines are BS in this situation.

If she's asking this question, IMO, answering the question is probably the best way to go, since it's largely too late for turning things round.