How to act with female friends?

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,663
Reaction score
15,817
If they do these things to you. They are not friends.
Exactly. They are hoping he gets the hint they don't want to be around him but he doesn't seem to.

I mean how do you tell someone "I don't want to be around you, stop bothering me!"?

Most women aren't going to do that, they will treat you like crap and hope you have some self respect for yourself and get the hint
 

LTG71

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2022
Messages
546
Reaction score
739
Exactly. They are hoping he gets the hint they don't want to be around him but he doesn't seem to.

I mean how do you tell someone "I don't want to be around you, stop bothering me!"?

Most women aren't going to do that, they will treat you like crap and hope you have some self respect for yourself and get the hint
Women surely use this tactic if they are not interested and expect you to take the hint.

If it‘s a long time acquaintance, then you’re not high on their priority list or they don’t need anything at the moment.

I think the only ones I would consider “friends“ are reciprocal. There is some gave and take and not all take. Most women keep men around as service providers.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,831
Reaction score
4,524
Lately, I've had the opportunity to make some female friends. And I mean friend-only because I think that having female friends could be good for my SMV, and also facilitate the process of meeting plates.

But I noticed that you can't really be friends with women because when I act the same as I do with my male friends, they start to treat me like ****. They're gonna start doing **** like:
  1. Take forever to reply to messages.
  2. Only contact me when they need something.
  3. Ghost me.
  4. **** test me.
  5. Disrespect me in public.
I thought that if I'm not ****ing them, I might as well let loose and open up more. For example, I tend to share stuff about myself quite a bit and also ask them a lot of questions to learn about them. Basically, I'm applying "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

But I'm thinking that I should be treating them the same as women I'm ****ing. Basically, treat them like ****, leave their messages on "seen", and don't share anything about myself. But then, I won't be having any female friends but instead, they'd just be classified as "women I'm not ****ing".

To me, it looks like if you let your guard down around women, their nature is to **** you up.

Can you guys share how you handle female friendships?
Women have three types of male "friends":

1. Guys they secretly have a crush on. This is the only kind of male friend that a woman would genuinely be "nice" to.
2. Orbiters (a.k.a. unpaid servants). A woman would only keep an orbiter around if she could extract some form of value from him.
3. Gay friends (a.k.a. free entertainment). Modern women find homosexuals amusing and entertaining. In the old days, kings and nobles surrounded themselves with jesters, midgets and other entertainers. Homosexuals fill that role in contemporary society.

It sounds like you fall in category #2. They are ghosting you because you're not doing anything for them.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
You act like you want to fvck them and don't apologize for it.
Good answer, provided that is what you really want.

Also, true friends are rare. True female friends are even rarer.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
2,464
Reaction score
2,098
This cannot be stressed enough. Do not treat them like your male friends. They expect attention and other stupid stuff like a female friend. You are not that. You are a man who does his own things and is too busy for small children stuff that women tend to do. You don't watch Netflix every night cause you are building a business or lifting at the gym. You don't care who Usher is ****ing cause you're ****ing someone already. And again, have better things to do. This mindset must remain valiant to keep you straight.

Even I have to keep myself in line when dealing with female acquaintances. Sometimes, that honor comes up to try to make me care for them more but then I remember that they are only seeking attention you are not giving them.
 

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
692
Reaction score
529
Age
38
Location
Rio Grande Valley, Texas
How to act with female friends?

Be the same dorky, awkward, Afc and funny dude you are without any expectations....and you got yourself a friend. lol
 

kenpiffyjr

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
267
Reaction score
146
I have a few female friends - and it’s really just an undertone of they both would sleep with me but I’m taken situation.

My BM is pretty much my bottom chick and they know her and been around her. They come to my son’s bday parties, etc. They fling under the veil of “sisters” but their “babying” of me I would say would reveal to a professional what the real deal is. I just play the aloof and stoic role to my bm when she actually knows their agenda and it’s never an issue.

I don’t believe this “no female friend” rule or box. There is absolutely a frame of confidence and abundance that you can have in experiencing friendships with women…YOU can have, but likely if you are [as a cool heterosexual man I might add], they’d smash you if they got the opportunity so there is some fine text with it I do agree.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Vanderdonck

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2024
Messages
322
Reaction score
253
Age
48
Like all females, flirt, tease, neg. A good number of my female friends have made a move on me.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,663
Reaction score
15,817
Your strategy is wrong and they treat you like this because they know that you actually want to fvck them but don't have the balls to tell them or make a move so you are seen as weak by them.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,091
Reaction score
831
Age
50
I work in healthcare with a bunch of women. One of my good friends is a woman who is a former stripper.

I had met her husband while she was married and I never really was attracted to her. In particular her nasally voice is a turnoff.

She is a fun friend to go out with but predictably makes terrible choices in men and likes men that barely need to shave their face. If she was a teacher she'd probably be one of those that makes the news haha.

Sometimes its just toxic and tiring to be her friend, other times its amusing. I doubt she is a great wing girl because people assume we are a couple but if you want to have a few drinks and eat she is fun.
 

Chow Mein

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
269
Reaction score
182
A lot to unpack here, so I’ll just hit a few points.

Female friends have nothing to do with your SMV. You should not care if she’s attracted to you or not. Or if your friendship with her attracts other chicks. That’s not the point of friendship.

You can’t treat them exactly the same as guy friends. Their interests are often not the same, and you can’t joke quite as crudely as you do with guys (most of the time lol).

Lastly, you don’t need to “game” them in any way. Things like push/pull or being a jerk sometimes are not applicable here.

Mostly, for friends, they just want a guy who is chill, understanding, and can listen. This is not the same as being a simp. You aren’t doing that to get in her pants or to get her to date you later on. You’re just socializing.

Overall, having female friends can be fun if you have the right ones. Once they are comfortable with you, you’d be shocked at some of the shyte they tell you, and that can give a deeper insight into how women think and operate.
Mikey! You keep getting in great situations, but you too AFC and let the moment slip!

Please post your experiences in the thread “Obvious come ons that were missed”. I learned so much from that HOF thread….
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,715
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Mikey! You keep getting in great situations, but you too AFC and let the moment slip!

Please post your experiences in the thread “Obvious come ons that were missed”. I learned so much from that HOF thread….
Haha. Yeah I had some funny ones I posted in the past. I shared them because it was stuff I learned the hard way.

I haven’t gotten any IOIs in quite a long time to miss or report.
 
Last edited:

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Chow Mein

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
269
Reaction score
182
Haha. Yeah I had some funny ones I posted in the past. I shared them because it was stuff I learned the hard way.

I haven’t gotten any IOIs in quite a long time to miss or report.
Really appreciate it! Not gonna lie, I was like Shia LeBouf in a couple of them lol

Hope life is good for yoy, brotha.
 

VirtuousD

Don Juan
Joined
May 28, 2022
Messages
91
Reaction score
40
Age
31
It's really rare to make genuine female friends, interests are just too dissimilar.
If you're part of a wider social circle where you know many of the same people i'd say it isn't too rare but on a 1-2-1 basis hanging out regularly yes very rare
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,799
Reaction score
2,135
There is no such thing as "female friends" for a man. For a woman "male friends" exist, because a woman uses a man as a utility tool. But men don't need women they same way, they just need them for sex and babies.

Men just stay "friends" with women because they want to f their brains out when they get a chance.

Don't kid yourselves.
 

Hal9000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
762
Reaction score
1,130
I've had female coworkers and acquaintances but I've never had one, as an adult, I'd put in the friend category. I mean I've hung out with women who were friends of friends on occasion but that's about it. Not sure trying to have some is worth the torment you appear to be putting yourself through, especially if you're just doing so they can ultimately help get you laid. Friends are supposed to be people you enjoy hanging out with and who you'd hope would have your back if the need ever arose. That's about it. When you try to turn friendship into a "what can they do for me" relationship you're heading down the wrong path on multiple levels.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,756
Reaction score
3,172
Location
US
Invest the time to improve yourself, so you become even less dependent in women giving you social proof.
Improving yourself is a meme, especially when it's done with the ulterior motive to increase your attraction to the opposite sex. Leveraging female friends as social proof is the most powerful method of improving attraction and any man who doesn't take advantage of it is making a mistake.

Plus, if you friendzone a woman off the bat you will demonstrate lack of thirst and it can lead to easy "incidental" lays.

The only problem is that many women will get offended at the mere suggestion of being friends, so if you're going to do it you best do it before you go on a single date and certainly not after having sex.
 
Last edited:
Top