How to act towards a woman after sex?

[Jack Hensy]

I get a lot one night stands. The problem is -- I cant make it to the 2nd sex encounter before I get dumped. Its so easy to charm the pants off a woman and nail her the first night. But svck at relationships. I cannot remember the last time I had sex with the same girl twice. lol
I nail on first night...and then they compliment me the next day...say I was great in bed, nice body, handsome, etc. We text back and forth and plan on hooking up again---and then they flake out eventually.

How does one keep a girl interested sexually? Its so easy to have a night stand and then watch them disappear. Its been that way my whole life.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Just like men, women will return for GREAT sex!

 

[LiveYourDream]

We text back and forth and plan on hooking up again---and then they flake out eventually.

Repeated texting back and forth KILLS a woman's attraction. When she reaches out after sex, set up specific date/time/place for your next meet up. Let her know you had a great time, can't wait to see her again, but got to go because you are busy. You'll see her at date/time/place. End conversation!

Leave her alone, to let her enjoy and build up the anticipation of seeing you again.
When you do see her, she'll be ready!!!

 

[pierce_r]

I'm wondering why exactly you think this problem needs solving. I can't get rid of them fast enough. I'd trade you straight across.

Also, what LYD said above -- don't freaking text them back and forth.

When a woman texts me with "Wht ru up 2?" or whatever, I am ALWAYS up to something. Even if I'm not, I decide to do something and then text them back and invite them along. I got that text this morning, and just took a girl with me to a nursery and rockery to look at waterfall ideas for my garden. It wasn't a romantic date, no one got laid, but she asked what I was doing and that was what I was doing. I got back not ten minutes ago and after I knock out some work we're meeting for drinks.

On that, I told her where I'll be drinking and when. I will not text her to see if she's coming. I will not text her when I'm there. If she's not there I'll meet someone else when I'm there. And if she doesn't show and another woman texts me with "Wht ru up 2?" while I'm there, then hey, whatdya know, I'm hangin' out at a tequila bar. Come on out.

When I have texted a woman back and forth making a plan to hook up, it has never happened. She has flaked every time. When I have essentially said, "I am doing THIS. Come along," it works with any woman whom it's worth working on. She may not come along for that thing, but she will contact me again to see what I'm up to.

 

[Jack Hensy]

pierce_r what do you say to them when they they......."Wht ru up 2?"

 

[LiveYourDream]

I guess they lie to me then..lol...I get them to orgasm over and over. Most are super sweaty when I am done with them. I go down on them, use tons of foreplay, kissing, get them into 20 different positions and make them squirt a lot. Many are wiped out after sex.
So good sex----might be over rated. There is something else that I am doing wrong.
I have heard I have a bad attitude and I turn them off by my bad attitude. So maybe its my attitude?

People do not simply tell others they have a bad attitude. It is not a casual comment. It's one that comes after enough observation and experience. The observer is willing to take the risk of offending you, so YOU might consider your attitude and it's impact upon others and your own life. They take the risk for you. I would not take it lightly.

At the same time, we are not here to please all people, all the time. Be willing to be deeply honest with your own self reflection and even ask them to tell you more about how they perceive your attitude. Do NOT get defensive with what they might say. Their willingness to be honest with you in an uncomfortable conversation, for your benefit, is a sign of true caring.

I suspect that for every person that has told you, or hinted that you have a bad attitude, there are many more who thought it, but would never say it.

If indeed it's true, it may even come through in your texts, without you even realizing it.

For myself, I NEVER intentionally spend any time with someone with a bad attitude. Life has so many other great options to choose from, why would I?

Edit: The good news is...you can change your attitude! With awareness comes choice!

 

[Jack Hensy]

I told some chick that she looked rough when she came to meet for our 3rd date. I told her she looked like she was banging some other guy.
She got pissed and left.

 

[Floydispink01]

As soon as you finish the sex tell her to get you a glass of water/coffee while you lay in bed.

Finish the drink and tell her you gotta leave. Kiss and tell her that you had fun. Walk out the door.

Text or call her a few days later to set up another date - specify place and time. That simple.

If she flakes, find another.

 

[pierce_r]

pierce_r what do you say to them when they they......."Wht ru up 2?"

I tell them exactly what I'm doing. If I'm not doing anything (which is rare), I find something that's happening, and then tell them I'm doing it, or planning to, and invite them along, and then go do it. And if they don't show up, f*ck 'em; I'm out doing something and I might meet girls when I'm there. It's a win-win.

"Preparing dinner, funny you should ask. Be here at seven and bring a loaf of crusty bread."
"Heading out on a six-miler around the lake. You think you can keep up?"
"I'm working on my boat. Come hand me tools and I'll make steaks on the grill at sunset."
"Dinner with a client at 7. Meet me for drinks at (wherever) at 10."
"Seeing a buddy's band tonight. They play at 9. Be there at 8. Tell the guy at the door you're a friend of mine, you'll be on the list." (I'll then tell the doorman, and pay her cover in advance.)
"My buddy's kid has a football game tonight. You should come. I'll have cocoa and Fireball."
"Art gallery opening. Free wine and pseudo-intellectual bullsh*t galore. You should come."
"A buddy is doing a poetry slam. But I'm gonna get hammered at this tequila bar around the corner first. I can't handle that sh*t sober. Get out here."

Etc. You get the idea.

And one text. That's it. She may reply to confirm, and I'll send a "Great," or whatever. But that's absolutely it. If she texts to say she's late, or flakes, or whatever, hey; I'm already doing something. Her loss.

When women realize you actually do these things, your phone starts blowing up. You're interesting and fun to be with. You're the one they call.

Edited to add:

One, I use proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar; what you see above would be exactly what I text. I'm 45 years old, I have an MBA, and I'm a published author. F*ck shorthand. Maybe they think it's quaint but it's my experience that you always look like an idiot trying to be something you're not.

Two, I always invite them along. More to the point, I tell them to come along, I don't ask if they'd like to come or ask them what they'd like to do. I tell them where to be, when to be there, and what to do when they get there. A little bit of assertiveness goes a very long way.

Three, if I'm out with another girl, or going out with another girl, I tell them so. "Taking a friend to (whatever)." They may not text again for awhile, but they will text again.

 

[KingBeef]

I told some chick that she looked rough when she came to meet for our 3rd date. I told her she looked like she was banging some other guy.
She got pissed and left.

You is a smooth brotha...lol This is only at first glance but it sounds you might come across as too blunt and a little inconsiderate. If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it...especially when it comes to women. Just my 2 cents.

 

[AllDay85]

If the D was nice, she'll be back. If she is attracted to you, she'll be back, possibly even if the D wasn't nice. So if you're REPEATEDLY dealing with no returns, then it's User Error. Probably has to do with eagerness. Try distancing yourself a bit after sex. Let her think about it, stew on it. "Is he ****ing other bitches?" "Was he not satisfied with our sex last night?"

Make her work for it bruh.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Agree with you on points making her work for it. When a girl rejects me I agree with them and act positive because I have others in the pipeline. This makes them chase a little. Agree with when you leave....was I not good enough? Is he seeing other girls? etc.
However is a guy has a big ****, hot face, hot body. Those things bring girls back to them in a heartbeat. Harder to do in 40s though.

The last girl told me got tired of texting me first all the time and flat out said goodbye. lol. I rarely texted her because I was texting other girls.

 

[Desdinova]

pierce_r what do you say to them when they they......."Wht ru up 2?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!"
"Something naughty"
"Being bad"
"Use your imagination"

I like telling them stuff that gets their imagination flowing. Then they start thinking about you in a sexual context. Then they start thinking about you more. It's all a domino effect.

 

[Jack Hensy]

Whats a coocky or humorous response to a woman who refuses to give out her cell number? I have been chatting and flirting with this woman for a few days.
I asked for her number and she wrote me this....."I'm sorry - I'm not quite ready to give out my number yet...." But she did say she liked me. She is cautious.
This chick is a diamond. But I want to stay on top of her rejection without it fazing me.
Maybe say something like....I love it when you are sweet to me

 

[BeExcellent]

I get a lot one night stands. The problem is -- I cant make it to the 2nd sex encounter before I get dumped. Its so easy to charm the pants off a woman and nail her the first night.

My initial impression is that you are coming off as a player but not as a person. Even if the sex is fabulous are you getting emotional connection at all? Obviously you are not having trouble getting sex, but I'm guessing you are not getting connection.

There is a big difference between being a great lay and a great lover. A great lover engages emotionally. Even if its just in the moment. A great lover is wholly present in the moment emotionally. When both people engage and allow themselves to exhibit caring and vulnerability toward the other person and a take genuine pleasure in pleasing the other person then you get mind-blowing sex. A woman who is getting mind blowing sex is not going to next you.

I told some chick that she looked rough when she came to meet for our 3rd date. I told her she looked like she was banging some other guy.
She got pissed and left.

This is flat out rude. Would you put up with that kind of disrespect?

Get busy being the best version of you. Be open. Be inclusive. If you like a girl it is OK to reach out once in a while. If she responds, ask her out. Don't text ad nauseam, and don't use text speak. That behavior makes otherwise intelligent people look like they are trying too hard.

Pierce-r has strong frame. He's doing his thing no matter what. Someone cool wants to join him - great - if not - great - he is open and engaged and empowered in his own self. It makes no difference what the woman does but he is open to enjoying her company. This is the essence of abundance mentality. When you have abundance mentality you are infectious. People want to be around you and want to be in your universe.

You appear to have scarcity mentality (I can never get XYZ). Once you solve this within yourself the rest will work itself out.

 

[BeExcellent]

....."I'm sorry - I'm not quite ready to give out my number yet...."

No! Do not go all sappy! No! no! no! She'll vanish.

"Look. I get it you work for Area 51. I won't blow your cover...text me at xxx-xxxx when you are back stateside." Nothing more. Then wait. She'll contact you if she fears losing touch.

 

[Bible_Belt]

How to act towards a woman after sex?

I have a thread on that topic here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/post-lay-soft-no-contact.230526/

Don't text her afterward unless she texts you first. Try that one simple rule.

 

[Jack Hensy]

beexcellent good points.
However, I am not going to send......."Look. I get it you work for Area 51. I won't blow your cover...text me at xxx-xxxx when you are back stateside."
She will think I am strange if I send that. She won't know what it means.

BTW, this is a woman that I had a falling out with 3 months ago by being too eager to date her and I blew it. Now I have been slowly stepping back into the picture and gaming her and she's slowly coming back to me through trust again.

 

[BeExcellent]

Well obviously if it's too obtuse you tailor it to your personality. Bible Belt's thread is a great thread, by the way.

Rich and famous is not everything. You appear to be saying that if only you were rich and famous things would be different. Not true.

If that picture is you, plenty of guys would LOVE to look like that. There are guys on here crying that if only they had looks things would be different.

All that kind of thinking is scarcity mentality. You care too much what this girl thinks, and you think you are somehow "less than", like you are going to lose something. You have placed her on a pedestal (I can't screw up, I can't screw up, I'll lose something.) So much pressure. This is completely self defeating. I'm not trying to bust your business here but really look at the attitude your words convey. This attitude translates directly into your reality.

You have NOTHING to lose and everything to gain. Read again what Pierce-r does. Do that. Simply tell this woman what you are doing and include her. Either she shows up or she doesn't. If she doesn't show up you get the opportunity/potential to meet an amazing new woman. You must be outcome independent. Outcome independence is abundance mentality.

Bible Belt also has abundance mentality. So do I. It takes some work to get there when you have a scarcity mindset but you must get there.

 

[zekko]

Repeated texting back and forth KILLS a woman's attraction. When she reaches out after sex, set up specific date/time/place for your next meet up. Let her know you had a great time, can't wait to see her again, but got to go because you are busy.

This sounds like something a guy would say, specifically a guy who has read pickup material. I don't think I've ever heard a woman say this, usually they are all about texting.

My personal opinion is that texting is okay, as long as you have something interesting to say. Obviously you don't want to overdo it, just like you don't want to hang on the phone forever like teenagers. Usually there are better things to do.