How to act DISinterested, all while letting her know you want her.

[k201]

I haven't been on this site recently...However like a year or 2 ago, I was a SOSUAVE addict...But the bible always led me to dead ends. Well not really dead ends, but more of answering questions with questions if you can catch my drift...

I just read a post on acting disinterested and I decided to throw my 2cents in there....

My thought process on this topic goes as follows:

Through my experience (especially at college), if I act like I'm NOT interested in a girl, then she gets that vibe and nothing happens. For example...If I'm talking to a girl at the bar or something and to act dis interested I just kinda say I'll see you later I gotta go and walk off with one of my boys...that sometimes to never works for me...

However, if I act interested then the girl sees no interest in me because she already knows she can have me, and lets face it nobody wants what they know they can have...it takes the fun out of things...

So my question is...how do you act like your not interested, to the point where shes fighting for you, all while acting interested, so she knows your thinking about getting with her, but she has to work on it...

Another thing, since most of my girl hunting is done at bars...I've always wondered how to get a girl to buy me a drink without coming off as either a poor bum or an *******...because if you can get a girl to buy you a drink because your acting uninterested, then you know shes interested, correct?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

If she is very interested in you, doesn't matter how interested/disinterested you act, she will still want you, as long as you don't over do it and end up blowing it.

 

[young_gun]

Don't expect women to put the moves on you. YOU do that.

 

[Rash]

If she is very interested in you, doesn't matter how interested/disinterested you act, she will still want you, as long as you don't over do it and end up blowing it.

I second that ,when a woman is interested you don't have to play games even if you fcuk up sometime she will forget about it!

 

[k201]

Don't expect women to put the moves on you. YOU do that.

Yea, thats what I'm saying, but if your trying to act like your not interested...then what can you do to still put moves on her?

 

[ready123]

recognize the difference between acting interested and acting needy. pure apathy is a misapplication by guys who can't recognize this difference

needy is what you want to avoid. that's what blows you out. being interested is fine and a lot of times it's unavoidable. IE - you open a girl direct, you're automatically showing interest

there's an area you want to be in that shows you're interested in the girl but have a healthy reality that doesn't revolve around her. it subcommunicates you can walk away from her, and that keeps you from looking needy and losing value. this is also why push-pull is so effective

and w/ the drinks, learn how to calibrate effectively before you try to get her to do tricks for you

 

[young_gun]

I think that acting disinterested is a bad way to frame how you want to be acting around women. I don't think you necessarily need to act DISinterested, where you get in trouble is when you act OVERLY interested. I think it's actually a GOOD thing to subtly let a girl know you're interested, as long as you don't overdo it.

 

[k201]

and what are some ways I could do that

 

[young_gun]

Neg her, talk about dental floss, do the Cube, and f-close her.

 

[potato]

So my question is...how do you act like your not interested, to the point where shes fighting for you, all while acting interested, so she knows your thinking about getting with her, but she has to work on it...

You do show your interest. The thing though is that you don’t come onto the girl, just engage her in interesting conversation. Through your conversation and body language, and especially eye contact and your smile, you show her who you are, that you’re cool and confident. She’ll start to like you but not be sure if you are interested or not because you haven’t told her. If you spark her interest enough, she’ll fight for you.

 

[guitaronfire411]

Make a move and make it smooth. Then see how it goes from there.

 

[MushroomGod]

I say act disinterested until she does something that should make you interested. As a poster said above, you engage her in fun, interesting conversation and when she does something you like show interest, flirt and be playful. Make her earn your interest once she does turn it up.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

Oh dear god. STOP WITH THE THEORIZING!

"if I act interested then the girl sees no interest in me because she already knows she can have me, and lets face it nobody wants what they know they can have...it takes the fun out of things..."

What the hell are you talking about? Do you actually have any real life experience? Girls don't want desperate chodes but they sure as hell do want someone that lets them know they are interested. Hell I've successfully approached a girl by saying "hey you're really attractive, you're going to be my new girlfriend now."

That whole indirect "act disinterested" advice is weak and was made up by people with no experience in the real world.

Go out there and let her know you want to F her brains out. Escalate, escalate, escalate. Remember that indirect game is for people who lack the balls to be direct.

 

[Maxtro]

Being disinterested only works if the person is highly interested in you. They would first have to "care" enough about you to notice that you were gone.

If a fat girl is acting disinterested in you would you care?

 

[potato]

Oh dear god. STOP WITH THE THEORIZING!

"if I act interested then the girl sees no interest in me because she already knows she can have me, and lets face it nobody wants what they know they can have...it takes the fun out of things..."

What the hell are you talking about? Do you actually have any real life experience? Girls don't want desperate chodes but they sure as hell do want someone that lets them know they are interested. Hell I've successfully approached a girl by saying "hey you're really attractive, you're going to be my new girlfriend now."

That whole indirect "act disinterested" advice is weak and was made up by people with no experience in the real world.

Go out there and let her know you want to F her brains out. Escalate, escalate, escalate. Remember that indirect game is for people who lack the balls to be direct.

This really doesn’t work with all women. Depends on the type of woman you’re after.

I have this close female friend, T**** who works as a manager/bartender at a strip club. She has been hit on so many times that she’s become jaded by the whole process. One day I was hanging out with her at her place and a small group of women showed up. One of them was J**** a petite little thing who would regularly flaunt her body whenever she thought someone was looking at her. She also had serious emotional and substance abuse problems.

During the course of the evening J**** recounted an encounter that she had earlier that week. She told us that she was at a store and out of the blue this guy approached her and started telling her how hot she was and how much he’d like to have sex with her. She went on to say that she wasn’t at all attracted to him but loved the attention and ended up going with him for a quickie.

The other girls were appalled at what she was telling us with the refrain of, “How could you have such low self esteem?”

By being indirect doesn’t mean that you are not telling the girl your intentions, you are just presenting it in a way that puts her at ease, which makes it more fun, more innocent like.

Not long ago I met this woman who I was very much attracted to. As we talked there was a great deal of eye contact, lots of flirting. Not once did I mention anything about my attraction to her or my desire for her. Not too long into the conversation she got this real serious look on her face, and looking me directly in the eye she poised, “I’ll bet no woman can resist you.”

Oftentimes what is going on below the surface, just under the radar is much more powerful than what is obvious to everyone else.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

Oftentimes what is going on below the surface, just under the radar is much more powerful than what is obvious to everyone else.

Well I agree. But being direct doesn't necessarily mean you should verbalize your attraction. Subtle things like eye contact, body language, voice tonality, etc. are all important in conveying interest.

But let us not confuse these kids. Many of them have never so much as approached a woman. They overload their minds with so much theory and they tie themselves in knots because they have no real-life point of reference which causes them to make posts such as the OP.

If you're a noob, forget the theory, forget playing games, forget "acting disinterested." Just go out there, approach women, let them know you are interested, use whatever social intelligence you have and gain some experience.

 

[tsmith2334]

From my past experiences, it's best to act somewhat interested, kinda on the fence leaning towards her (at first). Maintain eye contact, use kino, seem geniunely interested in what she has to say, and flirt some, but don't overdo it. That is key. Don't write her a note about how interested you are or play her a special song that makes you think of her after a weel of dating.

Move forward once she reciprocates if she hasn't already.

 

[DJ1234]

Really from what ive learned, you should have a ballance of acting interested while acting disinterested...just don't over do one or the other or you'll blow it. Just be interested enough to know you like her, but not enough that you're head over heels for her. Acting way disinterested might seem like your DHV but really, if you don't come back and let her know you're even the slightest bit interested (when she is- this is key), the girl will either lose interest or give up and move on....this is from my experince...that is why push and pull works great in a relationship....now the tricky part is getting the ballance of interested and disinteresed just right. If you can maintain a ballance in between both, that would be ideal.

 

[iqqi]

This really doesn’t work with all women. Depends on the type of woman you’re after.

I have this close female friend, T**** who works as a manager/bartender at a strip club. She has been hit on so many times that she’s become jaded by the whole process. One day I was hanging out with her at her place and a small group of women showed up. One of them was J**** a petite little thing who would regularly flaunt her body whenever she thought someone was looking at her. She also had serious emotional and substance abuse problems.

During the course of the evening J**** recounted an encounter that she had earlier that week. She told us that she was at a store and out of the blue this guy approached her and started telling her how hot she was and how much he’d like to have sex with her. She went on to say that she wasn’t at all attracted to him but loved the attention and ended up going with him for a quickie.

The other girls were appalled at what she was telling us with the refrain of, “How could you have such low self esteem?”

By being indirect doesn’t mean that you are not telling the girl your intentions, you are just presenting it in a way that puts her at ease, which makes it more fun, more innocent like.

Not long ago I met this woman who I was very much attracted to. As we talked there was a great deal of eye contact, lots of flirting. Not once did I mention anything about my attraction to her or my desire for her. Not too long into the conversation she got this real serious look on her face, and looking me directly in the eye she poised, “I’ll bet no woman can resist you.”

Oftentimes what is going on below the surface, just under the radar is much more powerful than what is obvious to everyone else.

I wish youd post this in my romantic rivalry thread on the MM forum to the guys that keep harping on my non overt flirtatious approach.

 

[Derek Flint]

This whole "acting disinterested" BS is for guy's who are scared of rejection so they use the acting disinterested crap as some kind of routine to get women.

It's designed by these so-called Guru's to protect your fragile little egos and to create a cushion between you and rejection so you don't get totally discouraged in the first day of the bootcamp/workshop you spent a fortune on.

"I 'Nexted' her"

Yeah, right.

Guys with real game aren't afraid to show their interest to a woman or that they are attracted to her, nor does it matter to them what other people think, and they don't seek validation from women.