How should I tell her I've never had sex?

[alboh]

I'm nearing the 6-month point in my quest for DJ-hood and I recently went on my first real date, quickly followed by a second date in which I was able to get her back to her place and make out with her for a while.

Anyway we have a third date set for next week and it seems a sure thing that unless I develop some horrible skin disease between now and then that, either on the 3rd or 4th date, we're gonna sleep together.

Did I mention I've never exactly had sex before?

This girl is in a group of friends that I see often, and is connected with my own group of friends. Basically if others were to find out I'm a 20-year-old virgin I'd be embarassed as f***.

So do you guys think it's safe telling her on the 3rd/4th date? Anyone else have a girl gossip after you lost your v? Do you guys think it's worth the risk?

On top of all this, she's been pressing to know how many girlfriends I've had. The answer is 0. But I just told her I didn't want to tell her yet.

PS: I don't even want to try tricking her into not knowing I'm a virgin, 'cause if (when) I get busted by my sheer clumsiness that'll be 100 times more embarassing.

 

[ilyadaimpaler]

I think I read somewhere to whak it right before your goin to have sex. This way you'll have more stamina because your sex drive will be pretty low. Ever notice why you stop looking at porn after you bust? While the sex wont be as pleasurable for you, you will also last longer than 3 seconds which would be a good thing.

 

[jamescr73]

dont tell her man. Whatever you do dont tell her. 99% of girls wont be with a virgin, cause they figure that something is wrong with you if you havent got any by that age. Hell im 23 and in the same boat. When girls find that out, you just shut off the light, and you aint turning it back on. If she asks, just tell her, "Ill tell you later, if you behave" or something of the sort. I had a close call about a month ago with a girl I just met a week before. I went to get my car from my house and drove back to the club, and while I was gone one of my stupid drunk friends told her that I was a "V". Well, like I said it was a close call, she ended up not having sex with me that night, and told me later that she felt that if we did, I would become attached to her, and she wanted to save that for later in the relationship, so it could be more important. Blah. Just do her man.

 

[jamescr73]

Originally posted by ilyadaimpaler
I think I read somewhere to whak it right before your goin to have sex. This way you'll have more stamina because your sex drive will be pretty low. Ever notice why you stop looking at porn after you bust? While the sex wont be as pleasurable for you, you will also last longer than 3 seconds which would be a good thing.

or just get one of those trojan extended pleasure condoms that have novicane in it, and numb your d1ck for about 10 minutes. Try that for ol #1.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by jamescr73
dont tell her man. Whatever you do dont tell her. 99% of girls wont be with a virgin... she felt that if we did, I would become attached to her

I'd heard the same bull**** excuse from women years ago. I think the REAL issue is the sex is ALL ABOUT THEM, and they think they won't enjoy it with a virgin.

And people wonder why I think most women are selfish, cold-hearted monsters.

 

[Umbra]

This is some good advice man. I say use it all.

#1) Masturbate before you spend time with her.

#2) Don't tell her (at least not until you've had sex several times)

#3) Use the Extended Pleasure or Extra Strength condoms to lessen your sensitivity

#4) Pause when you start approaching climax or go down on her

#5) Flex your PC muscle (the one that makes you stop urinating) to control timing

#6) Whatever you have to do, come up with some strategy not to prematurely ejaculate (you want this girl to have sex with you again)

 

[Umbra]

Oh yeah...

#7) Get her nice and wet with foreplay, so she'll orgasm quicker and you won't have trouble inserting yourself, since this is your first time

#8) Don't tense your abdomen or other muscles if you want to control your timing (stay relaxed and keep your breathing deep and steady, too)

 

[Unbridled_1]

Alright, this may sound stupid, but can't you hire an escort and pay her extra to show you how it's done. Just make sure you use protection.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I'm taking the opposite of everyone who's posted here so far. I'll warn you right now, the first time usually doesn't go smoothly. Preformance anxiety will most likely get the best of you.

I say it would be best to tell her. If she laughs at you, dump her ass - she won't be worthy of earning your d1ck.

Most likely it'll show that it is your first time having sex. She may start to wonder why it's not going so well the first time. Better to warn her ahead of time than have her think that you're not the man she thought you were. It'll save some aggrivation in the bedroom.

As for being a 20 year old V, I don't think that there's shame in it at all. I lost mine on my 20th birthday. My GF back then knew about it. If she asks why you've waited so long, just tell her that you want your first time to be with someone special. She'll respect this decision, and she'll want the honor of taking your V away from you.

 

[Umbra]

F*ck that! Why spend hard-earned cash on sexual lessons to impress a girl you've been on less than five dates with!?!?! The b*tch isn't worth that much money yet, and when she is, you won't be spending it on an escort. You have to start somewhere. Take the free p*ssy, and leave the escorts for the AFCs.

 

[bman]

just do what you do when u get rid of a boner during sex, think about other things. you wont get off if you do it right. then after u been ****ing for a while start thinking about the sex. also make sure u wacked off in the past 24 hrs

 

[StuartScott x 2]

Originally posted by jamescr73
or just get one of those trojan extended pleasure condoms that have novicane in it, and numb your d1ck for about 10 minutes. Try that for ol #1.

It doesn't work, trust me. Your d!ck is numb as hell AFTER you bust.

 

[Umbra]

Nah, they work. You just have to last long enough for the numbing agent to kick in. If you bust before you start going numb, it's pointless. You just have to hang in there, so to speak.

 

[jamescr73]

Put it on while your going down on her, that way itll start kicking in, and you wont have to worry about that. Come on guys do I have to think of everything

 

[miscombobulated2]

Originally posted by jamescr73
Hell im 23 and in the same boat.

Hey, me too; sans the part about actually having actually found a girl.

 

[alboh]

Originally posted by Unbridled_1
Alright, this may sound stupid, but can't you hire an escort and pay her extra to show you how it's done. Just make sure you use protection.

Jesus Christ you people!!! Did you even read the part in my question where I said I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO TRY AND FOOL HER? That is NOT an option. NOT happening. I'm not going to lose my virginity while feelish ashamed about it.

I think I'll figure this one out on my own.

 

[voodoolover]

I think I'll figure this one out on my own.

Before you do that, remember this:

Once you've done it, you ain't a virgin any more! Her friends can laugh all they like, but they're laughing about the past.

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by alboh
Did I mention I've never exactly had sex before?

This girl is in a group of friends that I see often, and is connected with my own group of friends. Basically if others were to find out I'm a 20-year-old virgin I'd be embarassed as f***.

If you tell her you are a virgin, she will tell her friends. Her friends will tell your friends.
If you fvck her, she will tell her friends how you were in bed.

Chicks talk. When they talk, they talk details. They like talking about men (especially ones in their lives) a lot. So don't think you'll escape from being the subject of conversation.

So do you guys think it's safe telling her on the 3rd/4th date?

Not if you want to avoid her friends and your friends finding out (which you say you do).

On top of all this, she's been pressing to know how many girlfriends I've had. The answer is 0. But I just told her I didn't want to tell her yet.

That's none of her business. The past is the past. Let her imagine what she wants to. Give evasive answers, maintain MYSTERY - it keeps chicks interested. She WILL be turned off if you say zero. Sorry but that's a fact - chicks prefer experienced men. Chicks ARE NOT honest themselves, so don't feel guilty.

I don't even want to try tricking her into not knowing I'm a virgin, 'cause if (when) I get busted by my sheer clumsiness that'll be 100 times more embarassing.

You don't know that will happen - it won't be as bad as you think.
She won't KNOW unless you tell her, maybe she will suspect (but she may not be experienced enough herself to even do that).

Just relax and don't worry about the whole thing so much. Go with the flow.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

If you don't tell her, she will figure it out anyway and you'll look like an ass. Yes, we know if you've never done it before - it is freaking obvious! (This is coming from a gal who has devirginized 4 men)

There IS a technique to sex. There is a way to get women off through sex that vigins just don't know about. The chances of a woman having an orgasm during a man's first time is practically nil - unless she takes charge on top. Plus, the chances of a virgin coming to quickly are high - very high.

If the woman is a nice person, she'll understand and want to have sex with you anyway. Some women actually like virgins because you can teach them everything and cater all their moves to your pleasure. (And from experience, this works well and is great!) If she laughs at you, you don't want her!

The first time I had sex with a guy I really liked, cared about and wanted to have a LTR with, I could tell he was a virgin, even though he had told me he had sex with his last GF. When I confronted him about it, he fessed up. I tried to forgive his lie, but couldn't. Next.

 

[ApocalypseCow]

Originally posted by jamescr73
or just get one of those trojan extended pleasure condoms that have novicane in it, and numb your d1ck for about 10 minutes. Try that for ol #1.

Those work pretty well. I was using one once, and I took it off and put another one on. With a double dose, I wasn't able to come if I wanted to. I had to take it off and manually do it for a couple minutes before I could get anything going.