How should I bring up to my GF that I don't like the thirst trap pics she posts on Snapchat

[dk1990S111]

Just be done with her. Don’t let her talk her way out of this bs. If things were reversed and she was at home being a good little gf and you were out hanging out with chicks getting drunk how would she react? She’d move on.

Best advice as others have said is don’t even give her the satisfaction of a dramatic reaction about last night. She will eat it up and you’ll be replaced by the end of the weekend. Just be done. She’s a waste of your time.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Unfortunately, I can tell by how distraught OP is by this, and by how he is waiting by the phone to hear back from her despite her behavior and disrespect to him, that he isn’t going to follow our advice, and as a result, will be further stripped of his pride and suffer further agony from this girl. At this point I would advise OP to figure out the source of his lack of self-respect that causes him to remain this attached to someone who disrespects him so badly. His natural reaction to her actions should not be fear, jealousy, anxiety, frustration, and loss, but rather disgust, disinterest, and detachment.

OP I can tell you are not really reading and listening to the advice you are being given here. Usually that's because you want reality to be something other than it really is and you aren't yet ready to accept reality. The wisdom and advice you've been given will be here for you when you are ready. Read back through the postings when you are ready and able to take it all in.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They type of person that you cant trust, she will flip out once better deal comes along.

Back and forth. It'll be back.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Unfortunately, I can tell by how distraught OP is by this, and by how he is waiting by the phone to hear back from her despite her behavior and disrespect to him, that he isn’t going to follow our advice, and as a result, will be further stripped of his pride and suffer further agony from this girl. At this point I would advise OP to figure out the source of his lack of self-respect that causes him to remain this attached to someone who disrespects him so badly. His natural reaction to her actions should not be fear, jealousy, anxiety, frustration, and loss, but rather disgust, disinterest, and detachment.

He's in a common position for a man without abundance. There are powerful actions that can be taken to elevate yourself at this point. Focus on your purpose. Deprioritizing or removing the entity thats causing you disrespect yourself.

Being in this point means your low on self respect. And your cheating yourself. When you should be treating yourself. You should've been at that party with her. She sent the pics to condition you.

 

[AttackFormation]

This situation and latest developments reminds me of the boyfriends of a girl I hung out with in gymnasium.

She would pick weak and codependent boyfriends (which was obvious to me even then), then basically live as if she was single. Walked in on her riding some guy one time after we'd been at her boyfriend's place earlier, where iirc he snivelled over her going out without him. She left him there and hooked up with that guy.

Even at the time I could tell she didn't respect her boyfriends, and why (weakness, codependence), though it was years before I found SS. But bizarrely, that is also why she picked them. OP will remain like that too until he is traumatized enough to change, if he ever does. Only then could all this advice suddenly kick in.

I also decided that it's equally obvious how a woman like that isn't suitable for a healthy relationship.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

She's randomly posted mirror selfie "look at my ass" thirst trap-esque pics (once every week or two) ever since I've known her, which was fine early on since she was single, but now we're exclusive and she's still doing it just as much or more than ever. And this week she's really going for it...

Wednesday night she posted an ass selfie in short shorts with the caption "bed time", and last night she posted a video of herself swinging around on her pole dancing pole with the song "crazy *****" playing in the background and wearing short shorts that she had rolled up further, so her ass cheeks were hanging out (they were rolled up enough so that about half her ass was showing).

I don't care if she takes pics/vids like this, but it bothers me that she's sharing them publicly--especially on snapchat. First of all, it makes me think she might secretly be very insecure and requires constant attention from random people, including random people of the opposite sex, for validation. And more importantly, I'm sure she has other guys on her friends list who see these vids. And being a guy I know how guys think and what they'll try to do when they see this stuff. What bothers me the most is that she's deliberately showing herself in a sexual manner publicly on snapchat and is putting herself in a position where she'll get hit on by other guys when she's already committed to me.

I really, REALLY like this girl, we have a ton of real emotional and personality chemistry that I've only ever felt a couple other times in my decade+ of dating, and I want to make this work, but I don't know what to make of this. I'm not sure how to bring this up in a non-combative way.

The issue is not her behaviour.

It is your response to her behaviour.

1) It is part of female nature to want male attention. Technology merely magnifies that psychological button.

2) Even if you yelled and freaked out at her about it all your guarenteeing is that she'll hide the behaviour. not that she'll change it.

cheers

 

[Focal core]

This situation and latest developments reminds me of the boyfriends of a girl I hung out with in gymnasium.

She would pick weak and codependent boyfriends (which was obvious to me even then), then basically live as if she was single. Walked in on her riding some guy one time after we'd been at her boyfriend's place earlier, where iirc he snivelled over her going out without him. She left him there and hooked up with that guy.

Even at the time I could tell she didn't respect her boyfriends, and why (weakness, codependence), though it was years before I found SS. But bizarrely, that is also why she picked them. OP will remain like that too until he is traumatized enough to change, if he ever does. Only then could all this advice suddenly kick in.

I also decided that it's equally obvious how a woman like that isn't suitable for a healthy relationship.

100% with what im observe with this one girl
. Very similar.. Not worth to wrote about it. Only i didnt know what it is, poor this guy too.. I only knew to grasp on my believe that "to be able to love someone you need is self-esteem" .. This girl sure not. Guy sure is weak and confused.

 

[Trez]

I see another snap from 6 hours ago. I'm not sure why it didn't come through with the other one. It's her recording several friends in her apartment, including this one particular girlfriend, and there's music and drinking and etc. I think these people are all friends of this girlfriend. But my thing is... If she's going to party and have a good time with some friends, why would she not invite me over? And further than that, why would she tell me babysitting is the reason she had to reschedule our date? Because it sure as hell looks like she's been partying most of the night.

Oh she's partying without you? I should read more of the thread next time before I post. This girl isn't girlfriend material and will only continue do disrespect you, your relationship and participate in behavior that'll make you insecure. You're wasting your time man. Suck it up and go no contact. I would never get in a relationship with a woman who drinks, smokes cigarettes, or does drugs. Even if I do those things, that's different.

 

[Trez]

The woman should be mad at you for drinking and partying to much if anything. One time i met this guy in tune psyche ward, we got to talking, he gave me some work when I got out. His wife was a rn who was going to new York to make 80 grand to work for 4 months there. She literally had him baker acted because she was concerned that he was going to start drinking a lot when she left. This guy picked me up from the park to go work, we get to the job and he says "I'm going to be a dumba$$ for a min" slaps a half a gram of crack on the central counsel of his king ranch turbo diesel with 15 k in the motor. I was like oh fvck yeah. He paid me good too, said he just wanted to put some money in my pocket. Dude had cancer before, his wife was always there for him, but she'd get mad because he's always drinking sometimes using drugs and messing around with tricks (prostitutes have sex for money, tricks have sex for drugs).

Moral of the story is the woman the woman should be worried about you, and what you're doing and willing to do what necessary to keep you and keep going when necessary.

I was detoxing from alcohol too. I must have mentioned that I knew smoking hard and this guy took one hit and told me the rest was mine. It was an easy day of work too and he paid me well.

Don't waste your time on women who drink an or do drugs an party. They are for strictly sex only, they should be used and tossed. You allowed yourself to bond with an unclean woman and now you have to detox from her. Don't waste anymore of your time

All of my exgfs with one exception didn't drink, smoke cigs or use drugs.. They spent have the relationship being mad at me for doing those things, being irresponsible, and they tried hard to fix me.

 

[Trez]

I almost guarantee you this woman is going to cheat if she hasn't already if she's not drinking and maybe doing drugs with men and women. Get out of your feelings op and just ghost her.

 

[Trez]

Op needs to find himself a based mommy-girlfriend.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Op needs to find himself a based mommy-girlfriend.

Wrong. He needs to up his Snapchat game and f*ck every woman who hits him up.

 

[Trez]

Wrong. He needs to up his Snapchat game and f*ck every woman who hits him up.

If that's what he wants to do then yeah.

 

[Trez]

Replacing a problem with a different problem isn't the answer:

I don't actually mean a woman that acts like your mother when I say mommy-girlfriend. Any woman that's truly feminine will be nurturing and almost motherly. That's what non toxic femininity is like. A woman will want to take care of you, such as cooking, fulfilling your sexual needs, cleaning, and making sure you're all good. I just mean the they actually care about you how they should in a relationship. Or even they won't really want to talk about their problems at work or stuff like that because they won't want ty burden you.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Replacing a problem with a different problem isn't the answer:

Fight Club. Pure art.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This type of woman also has a very different conception of what love means. Generally an exceptionally carefree use of the word.

To this type of woman:

1. Sleeping with another woman isn't cheating

2. Issues with attention wh-ring mean you are insecure

3. Cheating is dismissed with a laugh and a shrug

Sleeping with other women or other men?

 

[HyenaPrince]

I have the opposite view, that a man should treat his wife the way he would his 12 year old daughter(outside the bedroom, of course)...and that he should treat his girlfriends like applications for the position, with a line of prospects out the door and around the block...and that he should treat his friends as partners, mentors, apprentices, or family, as the case may be. A man who allows a woman to alienate him from his friends and family will, very likely, find himself, first, dependent upon her, and then abused and abandoned by her. Your woman should never be your therapist, coach, sponsor, or mommy. The reverse is fine, though.

This should be in the Hall of Fame of this page.

 

[Trez]

I have the opposite view, that a man should treat his wife the way he would his 12 year old daughter(outside the bedroom, of course)...and that he should treat his girlfriends like applications for the position, with a line of prospects out the door and around the block...and that he should treat his friends as partners, mentors, apprentices, or family, as the case may be. A man who allows a woman to alienate him from his friends and family will, very likely, find himself, first, dependent upon her, and then abused and abandoned by her. Your woman should never be your therapist, coach, sponsor, or mommy. The reverse is fine, though.

Ha I wasn't implying she should be any of those things or that she should alienate you from friends or family. A decent woman will actually try to take care of you in healthy ways such as cooking, doing your laundry, your sexual needs, and try to make you happy.

What you wrote in your post isn't the opposite of what I wrote. Not remotely close. Strawman.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Women

Her or him?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Bro...

Let me clarify. She was saying it's cool if she lay with other men? Or was she saying it's cool if he lay with other women?