How should I bring up to my GF that I don't like the thirst trap pics she posts on Snapchat

[AwlaysFukedUp]

She's randomly posted mirror selfie "look at my ass" thirst trap-esque pics (once every week or two) ever since I've known her, which was fine early on since she was single, but now we're exclusive and she's still doing it just as much or more than ever. And this week she's really going for it...

Wednesday night she posted an ass selfie in short shorts with the caption "bed time", and last night she posted a video of herself swinging around on her pole dancing pole with the song "crazy *****" playing in the background and wearing short shorts that she had rolled up further, so her ass cheeks were hanging out (they were rolled up enough so that about half her ass was showing).

I don't care if she takes pics/vids like this, but it bothers me that she's sharing them publicly--especially on snapchat. First of all, it makes me think she might secretly be very insecure and requires constant attention from random people, including random people of the opposite sex, for validation. And more importantly, I'm sure she has other guys on her friends list who see these vids. And being a guy I know how guys think and what they'll try to do when they see this stuff. What bothers me the most is that she's deliberately showing herself in a sexual manner publicly on snapchat and is putting herself in a position where she'll get hit on by other guys when she's already committed to me.

I really, REALLY like this girl, we have a ton of real emotional and personality chemistry that I've only ever felt a couple other times in my decade+ of dating, and I want to make this work, but I don't know what to make of this. I'm not sure how to bring this up in a non-combative way.

 

[Visionist]

Immediate thought is Next.

If you still like her though, you could have an affair, or at least make her believe you will or already have. Depending on how in shape you are you could activate an account of your own and start posting thirst trap pictures for all the E thots out there.

Your girl will soon find out and probably hit you with some double standards about you not being allowed to do that. That's when you can ditch her, as hypocrites are for drowning, not dating.

Again, you might think you like her but when you've got other girls contacting you on the regular her charms wear thin.

Last option, take thirst trap pictures together. If she says no, then again, she's conniving and doesn't want her simp brigade to know she's taken. Dump her.

If girls see you in pictures with a girl online they're automatically more interested. Especially if she's hot. Gives you the advantage. If guys see her with you online many of them will lose interest.

 

[HyenaPrince]

she might secretly be very insecure and requires constant attention from random people

Every woman is and does. That's not a reason for intentionally posting revealing pictures, despite knowing your partner wouldn't be okay with it.

we have a ton of real emotional and personality chemistry that I've only ever felt a couple other times in my decade+

So she's basically extremely hot and doesn't talk too much? You'll find tons more of that if you keep looking. You're under a spell right now. She's attractive I'm assuming and other guys are jerking off to her stories. You're basically sharing your women with those people. This triggers your protective instinct and also puts you in a position of seeing her as scarce. By knowing she could be f*cking the next dude who hits her up, you want her even more. It's emotional pressure at its finest.

You need to distance yourself from her immediately(!)

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Since you know her so well and connect with her so well, if you were to bring this up as TACTFULLY as possible, what do you think her reaction would be?

If you said something along the lines of, "Hey baby, the pictures you post on social media are a bit confusing to me.... I wouldn't expect someone who is in an exclusive relationship to post that kind thing," what do you think she would say? Do you think she would say, "Oh, I had no idea baby. I'm sorry.... I didn't even think about it like that but you're right. I'm focused on you so I'll stop posting stuff like that." Or do you think she will argue and tell you it doesn't mean she's advertising and all her girlfriends and celebrities do it even though they have boyfriends/husbands, and does that mean she's not supposed to dress nicely in public since she is in a relationship, and why are you being so insecure and controlling?

You really have three options:
1. Accept and understand that this is who she is and you can't control her - so you make your decision to stay or go
2. Draw a boundary with her on it, if it is important to you, and be willing to walk if she crosses it. Don't argue. Explain yourself, but once you have, don't argue with her about it. Listen to her, but don't argue. You don't need an agreement in the conversation - you just need to communicate your boundary and then after that, you need to enforce your boundary, which means walking away the next time she posts something like that.
3. Tell her you don't want to be exclusive, keep seeing her while you see other women. Do this ONLY if you think you can handle it. Based on your comments of your connection to her, I would guess you couldn't. I don't mean that in a critical way.... I've been there myself. In those situations you really have to accept her the way she is or move on, unless you really think she would be receptive to your concern.

I will say that nearly all girls post thirst-trap pics, whether in a relationship or not. But how racy the pics are does vary from girl to girl. They just get addicted and conditioned to the validation they get from it. In the examples you gave, it definitely sounds over the top.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Again, you might think you like her but when you've got other girls contacting you on the regular her charms wear thin.

1000%

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Immediate thought is Next.

If you still like her though, you could have an affair, or at least make her believe you will or already have. Depending on how in shape you are you could activate an account of your own and start posting thirst trap pictures for all the E thots out there.

Your girl will soon find out and probably hit you with some double standards about you not being allowed to do that. That's when you can ditch her, as hypocrites are for drowning, not dating.

Again, you might think you like her but when you've got other girls contacting you on the regular her charms wear thin.

Last option, take thirst trap pictures together. If she says no, then again, she's conniving and doesn't want her simp brigade to know she's taken. Dump her.

If girls see you in pictures with a girl online they're automatically more interested. Especially if she's hot. Gives you the advantage. If guys see her with you online many of them will lose interest.

I like this approach. They don't understand until it's done to them.

 

[2Rocky]

You should be the source of her validation. If she is getting enough from you and values it, the thirst trap pictures go away. I say this from starting a Long distance relationship over 4 years ago. Before that there were selfies and orbiters. As our relationship bloomed her posting habits completely changed and her selfies had the both of us in them.

She actually decreased her posting online overall because she felt fulfilled in person now,

I purposely never mentioned her posting or commented or liked her posts, but I gave positive feedback to her when she privately engaged me...I also never gave her any indication that her pictures annoyed or threatened me. To do so would have been weak.

 

[CBear]

I've seen this before with women who need constant attention and the guys "with her" had to deal with a LOT of bs with her in general and her always talking to other guys and cheating behind your back. I don't understand why any man would want to go through this headache. Pure desperation. Idc how much "chemistry" you have, she would respect exclusivity based on her actions if she TRULY respected it and not post these things for the public. It's common sense and women know what they're doing. In addition, no man of value would deal with this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I like this approach. They don't understand until it's done to them.

But like HyenaPrince said your entire perspective will shift when you have one or more interested women who are more decent than her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've seen this before with women who need constant attention and the guys "with her" had to deal with a LOT of bs with her in general and her always talking to other guys and cheating behind your back. I don't understand why any man would want to go through this headache. Pure desperation. Idc how much "chemistry" you have, she would respect exclusivity based on her actions if she TRULY respected it and not post these things for the public. It's common sense and women know what they're doing. In addition, no man of value would deal with this.

How would you describe the role of a bf or the "guy with her" in such a situation? I have a few words. But in short the better deal is for the guys who aren't with her that she wants to fvck ( have fun with ).

 

[CBear]

How would you describe the role of a bf or the "guy with her" in such a situation? I have a few words. But in short the better deal is for the guys who aren't with her that she wants to fvck ( have fun with ).

Well I'm guessing "simp" is the correct term nowadays but I would still call a "guy with her" in this situation an orbiter that happened to be at the right place in the right time because he never really has her and never will. They just both each have very different perceptions of what their "relationship" is and what it means. She still isn't attracted to him or respects him even though he really wants to be with her.

 

[soulforge]

It's already too LATE

Do you really think you can quench her thirst for attention whoring, which is something she has been doing throughout her entire life, by having a conversation?

No way man.. These types of chicks will simply go undercover and pretend she is a good girl.

The problem is YOU... You don't recognise a fukin whoore!

You want to take a slvt and turn her into your wife Captain.

This girl should be nothing more than casual sex.. Then next.

Dude wants to marry up a fukin liability!

 

[AwlaysFukedUp]

Answering a few questions...

1.) No, she isn't the hottest girl I've ever been with. I'm certainly attracted to her, but she's also certainly not the hottest by a fairly long stretch. On the other hand, I'm objectively more physically attractive than her ex boyfriend who she was with for 2.5 years. But all I know about him is what he looks like. Nothing else.

2.) By "chemistry" I mean emotional/personality chemistry. Yeah, the sexual chemistry is fantastic, but the emotional/personality chemistry is what got me hooked and made "us" feel special.

3.) I don't want to cheat. It's a scumbag thing to do, especially when you're the one who initiated the exclusivity of the relationship (which I did).

We're supposed to hangout tomorrow and I want to bring this up. I don't mind her posting a body pic to show off her hard work once in a while, but like someone else in here said, the consistent posting of them as well as the pole dancing vid with half her ass hanging out of her shorts and "crazy b!tch" playing in the background while obviously trying to look as sexy as possible was over the top.

It's already too LATE

Do you really think you can quench her thirst for attention whoring, which is something she has been doing throughout her entire life, by having a conversation?

No way man.. These types of chicks will simply go undercover and pretend she is a good girl.

The problem is YOU... You don't recognise a fukin whoore!

You want to to take a slvt and turn her into your wife Captain.

This girl should be nothing more than casual sex.. Then next.

Dude want to marry up a fukin liability!

Her last relationship was 2.5 years and it wasn't that long ago. She's also been in LTR's longer than she's been single, so I don't think she's a wh0re.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well I'm guessing "simp" is the correct term nowadays but I would still call a "guy with her" in this situation an orbiter that happened to be at the right place in the right time. They just both each have very different perceptions of what their "relationship" is and what it means. She still isn't attracted to him or respects him even though he really wants to be with her.

He's not a "simp" by the old ways. He's an actual bf by the "old ways", doing what he is supposed to do as her "man". The guy gets made into a simp when she cheats and has all this shyt going on behind his back. So we should treat ALL women as legit "ho".? In the dating world it seems so.

 

[soulforge]

Answering a few questions...

1.) No, she isn't the hottest girl I've ever been with. I'm certainly attracted to her, but she's also certainly not the hottest by a fairly long stretch. On the other hand, I'm objectively more physically attractive than her ex boyfriend who she was with for 2.5 years. But all I know about him is what he looks like. Nothing else.

2.) By "chemistry" I mean emotional/personality chemistry. Yeah, the sexual chemistry is fantastic, but the emotional/personality chemistry is what got me hooked and made "us" feel special.

3.) I don't want to cheat. It's a scumbag thing to do, especially when you're the one who initiated the exclusivity of the relationship (which I did).

We're supposed to hangout tomorrow and I want to bring this up. I don't mind her posting a body pic to show off her hard work once in a while, but like someone else in here said, the consistent posting of them as well as the pole dancing vid with half her ass hanging out of her shorts and "crazy b!tch" playing in the background while obviously trying to look as sexy as possible was over the top.



Her last relationship was 2.5 years and it wasn't that long ago. She's also been in LTR's longer than she's been single, so I don't think she's a wh0re.

So your going to get 2.5 years of drama, insecurity and probably cheated on out of her.

I love your standards man

 

[HyenaPrince]

Answering a few questions...
On the other hand, I'm objectively more physically attractive than her ex boyfriend who she was with for 2.5 years. But all I know about him is what he looks like. Nothing else.

So? It looks like you're building a case to support your worth as her current boyfriend. Trust me, looks are the last thing that counts now. It's your mentality that's going to decide the tipping point.

Almost 10/10 times the guy who gets cheated on, tells himself "But I look better than the other guy!"

You're in for some trouble if you decide to play the game with her. Believe us.

 

[mickdollaz]

She's randomly posted mirror selfie "look at my ass" thirst trap-esque pics (once every week or two) ever since I've known her, which was fine early on since she was single, but now we're exclusive and she's still doing it just as much or more than ever. And this week she's really going for it...

Wednesday night she posted an ass selfie in short shorts with the caption "bed time", and last night she posted a video of herself swinging around on her pole dancing pole with the song "crazy *****" playing in the background and wearing short shorts that she had rolled up further, so her ass cheeks were hanging out (they were rolled up enough so that about half her ass was showing).

I've posted about this before. Women cannot pair bond these days. If they are halfway decent looking, they will continue to hunt for a man higher on the LMS scale. They are hypergamous by nature and only the rule of patriarchy can keep them in check to some degree.

As christianity and patriarchy continue to erode, these types of problems will only get worse.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

My close friend's GF is a major social media attention wh0re. The funniest part to me is that she has HIM take her ass-out pics, that she then posts online. I just face-palm when I see it.

 

[Visionist]

^ Could be the BF's narcissism in wanting to show his squeeze off to the world. Look but don't touch.

A game frought with pitfalls.

 

[RangerMIke]

Nothing you can do or say to her that will make a difference. If you don't like it and it bothers you, dump her.

You are operating under the assumption that she doesn't know this bothers you. Trust me she does, and she is doing it anyway. Think on that and decide if she is worth your trouble.